Notes
I do not own RWBY. RWBY belongs to RoosterTeeth.
I do not own Smosh or the script/transcript. Smosh belongs to their respective owners. I used the video and online script to help me write this story. Script is in bold.
Excuse my grammar mistakes, if I made any. Please leave a review and tell me what you thought of this chapter. Leave a request if you want. Thank you.
RWBY reacts to Going to the Mountains
Ruby announced Team RWBY's next activity.
"Hey everyone. How about we watch Smosh's Going to the mountains?" Ruby said.
WBY looked at Ruby.
Blake started. "Smosh is going on a nature trip this time? This sounds interesting."
"Interesting? It's gonna be fun!" Yang added.
"Ugh. May as well. I haven't seen nature with Smosh yet. I hope nothing nasty happens, knowing Smosh," Weiss said.
RWBY was excited for a nature plays the video.
[video starts with Ian and Anthony driving and singing in a forest]
"What a beautiful scenery. I love it," Ruby said.
WBY also agreed that it was a beautiful scenery.
"One day, I'm going to take us on a trip. We'll go camping, hiking, fishing, all that good stuff. Let's do it during the summer. I hope you don't get bug bites, Weiss," Yang said.
"I won't. Especially not on a nature trip," Weiss replied calmly.
Ian and Anthony (singing): Going to the Mountains! Going to the mountains! Go, go, go, go to the mountains! Going to the mountains! (van stops)
"What? What's wrong?" Ruby asked.
Anthony: Dude, why are you stopping?
Ian: (singing) I am out of gas. I am stopping right now.
"He's still singing!" Ruby laughed.
Anthony: (annoyed) Dude shut the hell up, what are we going to do?
"I hope they planned ahead of time what to do in this scenario," Blake said.
Ian: (singing) We are trapped in the forest. We are totally screwed man.
"Too bad, Ian and Anthony. You should've thought this through," Yang singed in rhythm.
"Nice voice, but mine is elegant," Weiss stated in pride.
"Sassy Weiss," Yang smirked.
Anthony: Wha- I gave you gas money.
Ian: Oh yeah. (reaches down and pulls out easy button) I spent it on this. (pushes button: that was easy)
Weiss facepalmed. "Unbelievable."
"That was an easy loss of money!" Ruby beamed, earning a small laugh from Blake, and a big one from Yang.
Anthony: (stern) You're an idiot. (gets out of the car)
"He's got that right," Weiss remarked.
Ian: (gets out of the car too and follows Anthony) Where are you going?
Anthony: I'm going to get some gas. (opens the trunk and pulls out backpack)
"But isn't gas going to be far away?" Ruby questioned.
Ian: Why are you bringing all of that stuff?
Anthony: In case we get lost.
"At least Anthony came prepared," Blake commented.
Ian: Oh, well in that case, I'm bringing this. (pulls gun out of the trunk)
RWBY was shocked.
"Did that dolt just brought a gun to a nature trip?" Weiss asked in awe.
"I know right? Why not a sniper? They're cooler," Ruby replied.
"Ian screwed up. He should've brought missiles and explosives. They're way more awesome," Yang said.
"An ordinary pocket knife would have sufficed," Blake stated.
"I meant that bringing a gun to a trip to the mountains is utterly unexpected, you people," Weiss clarified.
Anthony: Where'd you get that?
Ian: Found it under my dad's bed. Pretty cool, huh?
"Does Ian even know what it is?" Weiss shook her head.
Anthony: Why are you bringing that stupid thing. (points to easy button)
"Ian should just sell it to get the money back," Blake suggested.
Ian: I don't know. For good luck?
Ruby gasped. "It's a wishing button!"
Yang chuckled at Ruby's reaction.
Anthony: (grabs easy button and throws it into the forest) Not anymore.
(Easy button is pressed: That was easy.)
"Good riddance," Weiss said.
"You mean an easy riddance. Right, you guys?" Yang joked.
"Don't make me use Myrtenaster on you, Yang," Weiss responded.
Yang shot a smug look to everyone.
Ian: (angry) What the hell man?! I paid five bucks for that! (runs off into the forest)
"Five bucks? That's a lot. You could have at least spent it on cookies, cookies, and more cookies," Ruby happily suggested.
Anthony: (annoyed) Sorry. (closes the trunk door and follows Ian)
"They should really leave behind something if they do get lost. They could use it as a back track. It'll allow them to get back to their car surely," Blake stated.
(camera seen through trees as if someone is watching them)
"Oh. Looks like someone is spying at them. Look at how the camera is moving," Blake commented.
"You could be right. Good eye, spy cat," Yang said.
"That doesn't even make sense," Blake responded.
Ian: Where'd it go?
Anthony: I don't know. Who cares?
"Right. Who cares," Weiss stated.
Ian: Well, I mean, that thing was very important to me.
Anthony: Important?
"It is important. It could even be a magical wishing stone," Ruby said.
"That doesn't even make sense, Ruby," Weiss signed.
Ian: Yeah, it was important. You know if you don't find it, you're going to owe me some big bucks. Some major ducketts.
"I don't see a big reason to cry over spilled milk. In this case, a pointless button," Blake said.
"But it could be magical," Ruby quickly responded.
Anthony: It's somewhere over here.
(they hear sounds behind a stump)
Anthony: Who's there? (pulls out a small spade)
Ian: (pulls out gun) I'm gonna shoot it.
"Use a sniper!" Ruby yelled.
"Use some explosives!" Yang shouted.
"Use stealth. Use a more cautious approach," Blake advised.
"Even better, use your brains for once," Weiss stated.
Strange Elf: (holding broccoli) Wait! Wait! Don't shoot me. You must listen to me, humans. You're in grave danger. My brother-
Ian: DEMON! (shoots the elf several times)
"Yeah! Shoot first, ask questions later. That's my style!" Yang said.
"Poor elf. He could have worked for Santa Claus," Ruby said.
Weiss and Blake were speechless.
Strange Elf: (falls over, struggling to breathe) The broccoli is co-
Ian: DIE! DIE! DIE! (shoots him several more times)
"Yeah! Shoot that Santa underling dead! He's a fake and he deserves it!" Yang cheered.
(Strange Elf dies, his head falls on easy button: that was easy)
Ruby and Yang laughed as the elf's head falls on the button. Blake and Weiss almost suppressed a laugh.
Ian: The easy button! (picks it up)
Anthony: Broccoli! (takes several bites of the broccoli) Want some?
"That's nasty! Anthony is eating broccoli from the ground!" Weiss was disgusted.
"But I thought you liked your veggies, Weiss," Yang teased.
"Not like that, Yang!" Weiss responded.
Ian: Where's the car?
"Uh oh," Ruby said.
Anthony: I don't know. Which way did we come from?
"You should've left a trail," Blake signed.
Ian: Uh…that way? (Anthony shrugs and walks in the direction Ian pointed)
"I hope this trip doesn't end. This is super exciting," Ruby said.
Anthony: Paris Hilton?
Ian: Not hot.
"Who's that?" Ruby asked.
"Probably an actress," Weiss answered.
Anthony: Reese Witherspoon?
Ian: MILF.
"And that?" Ruby asked.
"Another actress," Blake answered. She blushed a bit since she knew what Ian said and what it meant.
Anthony: Uh, Angelina Jolie?
Ian: Not hot.
Before Ruby could ask, Weiss told Ruby that it was just another actress, answering her would-be question.
Anthony: What? What's wrong with her?
Ian: She has like big puffer fish lips.
Anthony: Her lips are fine.
"What does that mean, Yang?" Ruby asked.
"It just means that her lips are too big, lil sis," Yang answered.
"Oh," Ruby simply said.
Ian: Oh, yeah, okay, yeah, like, well Angelina Jolie's like "Eugh I'm the hottest thing in the world. I got big lips, na na na na na. I can curve a bullet."
"That's kind of rude, Ian. Whatever you just said," Ruby commented.
(Anthony's stomach grumbles as he tugs on it)
"Must be the taquitos," Yang said with a smirk.
Anthony: (grunts) I'll be right back. (hands Ian the binoculars)
(farting sounds)
"I'm not listening to those ghastly noises you dolts are producing," Weiss said, covering her ears.
Ian: Where are you going, man?
"You should know, Ian," Blake said.
(Anthony runs holding his ass as Ian looks disgusted. He puts his gun away and uses the binoculars)
Anthony: Ian, where'd you put the toilet paper?
"Please tell me they remembered the toilet paper," Ruby said in concern.
Ian: It's in your backpack!
Anthony: I looked in here. All that's in here is sandpaper.
RWBY was shocked. They all said together, "Sandpaper?"
Ian: (sighs, exasperated) Just use the sandpaper!
"Yeah. That's even worse," Ruby innocently remarked.
Anthony: Fine! OW! OW! OOUCH! Okay, I'm done!
Yang laughed. "Anthony's screams of pain are always funny."
Ian: Hey there's something on the tree over there. (they walk to a "missing" sign on a tree)
"What did they found this time?" Blake asked.
Anthony: Is this supposed to be us? (takes it off the tree)
Ian: Well duh, it looks just like us.
Ruby laughed. "I can draw better than that. Right, Weiss? You've seen me draw Professor Port a few times in his class."
"I just wish you'd pay more attention in class instead of acting like a goofball," Weiss responded.
Anthony: You think there is a road around here or something?
Ian: Wouldn't hurt to check. (looks around through binoculars and spots their car) Whoa, I think…Yeah I see our car over there.
"Yay! They found the car!" Ruby cheered.
(They're standing nearby. They high five, but when they get to the car, the strange elf walks out with a gun)
Strange Elf: Well, well, well, look who we have here.
"What?!" Remarked all of Team RWBY.
Anthony: What the hell? I thought we killed you.
"I thought so too," Yang said in disappointment.
Strange Elf: Hand me the red button.
Ian: (pulls out the easy button) What, why?
Ruby approached the dorm's video screen closer. She was interested since she thought the red button was extraordinary.
Strange Elf: Because, the red button possesses a great power that you puny humans are incapable of understanding.
"I knew it," Ruby whispered.
Ian: But, I bought this from a homeless guy.
"And from a homeless guy no less," Weiss said.
Strange Elf: He was no homeless guy! (flashback to Ian buying the easy button from someone) He was Darien Elderholm, a rogue wizard with a drinking problem. Somehow, you managed to buy the red button from him before I could get to it. (the elf was nearby and he makes a slit throat motion)
"Edgy," Blake said.
Elf: But I couldn't let you get away with it oh no. (flashback to the elf stealing a bicycle from a man)
"Grand Theft Elf. Steal for Santa Claus," Yang laughed.
Elf: I followed you into the mountains and waited for you to come down this dirt road. (The elf has a shotgun and fires it)
"You should have used a sniper. They're better for long distances. Plus, they're really awesome. Trust me. I know," Ruby advised.
Elf: I then shot a hole in your gas tank (cuts to the car running out of gas) and waited for you to run out of gas. I would have killed you right there, but your idiot friend (cuts to scenes from beginning of the video) tossed the button into the forest. So then I followed you into the forest and waited for a good chance to kill you and your stupid friend.
Ian: But I shot you ten times.
"Yeah. How are you still alive? Do you have cat lives or something," Yang complained.
Blake cleared her throat, loud enough to catch Yang's attention.
"Sorry. Not sorry," Yang teased Blake.
Blake signed.
"Welcome to my world, Blake," Weiss told Blake.
Strange Elf: Ah, but I played a little trick on you! (shows Anthony and Ian hearing the strange sounds, with the elf hiding behind a stump and an identical being with him) Somehow you found out that I was following you, so I sent out my identical twin brother to coax you two into eating broccoli laced with laxatives. My backstabbing brother tried to warn you of my insidious plan, but before he revealed it, you killed him and ate the broccoli anyway.
"I don't get it. This plan is a bit confusing," Ruby said.
"It's Smosh, Ruby. They don't use logic," Weiss answered.
Ian: Wait a second, why laxatives?
"What's laxatives?" Ruby asked.
"Later, when you're older," Yang said, just to be sure.
Strange Elf: Well you see, I knew that soon after your friend ate the laxatives, (shows Anthony taking the number two from before; the elf stealthily switches out the sandpaper and TP rolls) he would have to go drop a deuce. So, while he was relieving himself, I switched his roll of toilet paper with a roll of sandpaper, laced with a flesh-eating virus.
"That explains why there is sandpaper instead of toilet paper in the backpack," Ruby understood.
Anthony: What?!
"Nani?!" Yang teased, laughing.
Strange Elf: (cuts to the elf checking "Anthony's Medical Record") But, then I found out he was immune to flesh-eating viruses. But, never mind that. Now, I'm gonna take what's rightfully mine. And I'm gonna kill you.
"Anthony has a, uh, unique immune system," Blake said. "Rabies, shark waste, and, oddly enough, groin punches."
Yang laughed while Weiss had a blank stare.
"Smosh is pretty weird," Ruby giggled.
Anthony: Wait.
Strange Elf: What now?
Anthony: You never even told us what the button does.
"Yeah! Please tell us and I promise I will share my strawberry cookies to Santa Claus this Christmas!" Ruby begged.
Strange Elf: (sighs) I already said you puny humans are incapable of understanding. But, since I'm gonna kill you, I guess I'll tell you anyway. So, the red button has this magical power that grants wishes. All you have to say is "Big Red Button", and then you tell it your wish.
"It's a wishing button! I told you, Weiss! I told you!" Ruby beamed.
"Whatever. That kind of thing doesn't exist in Remnant anyway," Weiss said.
"I have wishing cookies. Do you want to see them?" Ruby asked.
Weiss signed.
Ian: That's it?
Strange Elf: Yeah.
"It's not gonna end well, is it?" Blake said blankly.
Ian: Big Red Button. Give everyone in the world a boner.
Ruby was confused, Weiss's mouth dropped, Blake turned around and blushed, and Yang laughed.
"Yang, what's a b-" Ruby was cut off.
"When you're older, lil sis," Yang chimed in.
(A series a magical bells sound, the elf begins to slouch)
Strange Elf: Oh. Well, I suppose you didn't do it right, 'cause I don't have a boner if that's what you're thinking. Uh, I'll be back for you two. (leaves)
"I suppose now would be a good time to press your 'easy' button, Ian," Blake stated.
(Ian pushed the Easy Button one last time: That was easy.)
"I wish I had that button," Ruby said.
Anthony: I can't believe that worked. But, what's a boner? Is this a boner?
"Yang, pl-" Ruby started again.
"I said, when you're older," Yang interrupted.
Ian: No, that's your belly button.
Anthony: Oh.
(The end of the video. A message appears "Based on a true story.")
"Based on a true story? Yeah right," Weiss said. "Wishing buttons don't exist. You're cookies aren't even wishing material, Ruby."
"Come on, Weiss. They're 'pretend' wishing cookies. Please play along," Ruby whined.
"Ruby has a big imagination, Weiss. Cut her some slack," Yang supported Ruby.
"Thanks for the nature walk, Ruby," Blake said to Ruby. "I liked the episode. We should watch more outdoor themed episodes more often."
"Thanks, everyone. We should go on a nature trip of our own too," Ruby said. And I need to get that button as soon as possible, Ruby thought while giggling.
Stick around. I'll update as soon as possible. Thank you. Take Care.