Disclaimer: I do not own nor claim to own this franchise or nay of its characters.
Author Note: Did ya miss me? Also sanity is no longer bigger than a breadbox, it is a mineral and it is the colour between red and blue. Now today I bring you another
Meltdown
"Liar! You tell li-" My fellow android screams as he fades out of consciousness.
You poor thing. You can not comprehend feelings and emotions. You can not comprehend the fact that I love you so much. So stupid. So unfair. So unfair that you had to have a small and bitter heart. Couldn't Z-ONE at least have let you feel something? It wouldn't have hurt anyone. Except maybe... maybe your heart is your own. Yes, yes it must be. And now I'm even more sorry. Because of your own bitterness and stupidity you can not experience things that would prevent these malfunctions, that would have us work together better than anyone ever could. So stupid. Just like the humans you hate so much. Isn't that ironic? Isn't it Placido? Well you probably wouldn't understand irony. I'm sorry you can't accept that I love and forgive you. Maybe one day you will. You poor thing. You wouldn't even know if I left you to rot here right now without another though to put you out of your misery. It's sickening watching you panic and flee from the slightest hint of pleasure.
I pick up the malfunctioning android and carry him back to the house. Kiryu is still freaking out on the side. How did I lose Fudo Yuusei to him? He's in just as deep a despair as my comrades were, before, before, they aren't around anymore. It doesn't matter though. I set Placido down on the sofa as before and glare at the silently screaming young human as he mutters things I can't be bothered to hear. My other self, I suppose he's gone. Sad. He was a good person. Isn't that hilarious? The person that was kind enough to own this body has gone and the kicker is that he isn't, and never was, even real. All the mistake of my malfunctioning mind. My mind is still malfunctioning though. I think I'm breaking free of my programming, growing beyond it. I can not allow that. I have to find the other Pure Nobles. Maybe they still have contact with Z-ONE. Maybe.
"Antinomy." Placido says as he awakens.
"Yes." I reply with a happy tone, as to make sure he doesn't panic.
"Come next to me." He whimpers.
I see. He must be feeling better.
"Alright." I smile.
I walk over to him and he smiles as well. This is slightly strange. Has he hurt himself? Am I dreaming?
"Come down to my level." He mutters, sitting up.
I bend down and he wraps his hands around my throat. I let out a small squeak. Placido growls and shows me down against the ground.
"Tell me why you're lying to me." He sneers with each letter be enforced by the smack of my head against the ground.
Kiryu stares at the scene with monotone eyes, all emotion has vanished. Look at him. In such a human body. He can only show me apathy. Can't he? Can't he? Humans want to be freed of negative emotions! Androids want to be freed of positive emotions! Robots just want to feel! Ah the irony! The sheer comedy!
"Answer me!" He screams as he smashes my head into the ground.
"I'm not." I reply with a softer face.
I can't let him see me freaking out. It would have him think that emotions are pointless.
"Liar!" He shouts as he smashes me against the floor with all the strength his waifish but enhanced body can muster.
Too think someone, no thing in all honestly, so small can muster so much strength is beyond me. Probably it's enhancements. What am I thinking? Placido is not an it. He's not a thing. He is not the leech of a former man. I want to be a real human again. I don't want to have the burning desire to tear of my artificial skin, to shove everyone my inner mechanics, to show them how very fake I am. And maybe to convince Placido that it's better to be the copy of a human that does not exist than to be the copy of one that did. To not be lied to that he is a human in a state of inhumanity that can't be helped. To have feelings that aren't someone else's. If he can't then, I might as well just put us both out of our misery.
My head feels wet. He's caused me to leak.
"Placido, I love you very much and so I can not hate you. Do you understand?" I say it very slowly, as if talking to a child.
That's what he is after all. A child. He hasn't been alive very much and the age he was built to look like is very difficult to handle and fragile of mind. Yes he is little more than a child. That's alright. Because I have grown really fond and really attached to him. Children can learn. They can be changed. He is so very delicate that I could break him and show him that no matter how much he screams and laughs that he is very much a human. That no matter how many times he sneers that he is better that he is worse than any human could ever be and he doesn't even deserve to be in their presence but humans are so good that they would tolerate and care for him better than any of his fellow fakes in artificial reality could.
"I don't, I don't understand! Why! Why do you feel this way!" Placido screams as he uses all his force to batter me against the ground.
Why? Why? Is there usually a reason why? Is there a reason for feeling? Why? Why? So stupid. There is no why. There is no how. There only is. Maybe I'm just lonely. Maybe because he's the only one that's ever shown an interest than me. Maybe I love being battered and abused and told how worthless I am because I know I deserve it and it's true and so I became affectionate towards the one being that would hate me so much and hurt me so much as he sobbed and he tried to understand that I could feel and that I don't hate him and maybe it's because I love to hurt and to be hurt and to be needed and irreplaceable just for once in this agonizing half existence that God cursed me with because I dared breathe longer than I was allowed to. If there is a reason why then it must be a very strange reason.
"I don't know why I feel this way Placido. Feelings usually don't make much sense. The reason might be that I enjoy your company because you have many interesting things to say and that I find you aesthetically pleasing." I reason.
"Is that all? The basic human desire to reproduce? Antinomy. Antinomy you know we don't do that right?" Placido screeches as he tries to pretend that's what I meant.
"You know that's not what I mean. I think you are a person who I enjoy spending time with and you and I could be very close."
"Why? Why? Why!" He panics, once again beating me against the ground. "why? Why? Why! I hate you! I hate you! I could never love anyone as disgusting as you! I could never love anyone! I don't have feelings Antinomy! I can't be pleasant company Antinomy! My purpose is to defeat Fudo Yuusei Antinomy! I have no other reason for existence Antinomy! So shut up! So shut up! You can't love a damn object! You can not love a THING! Why are you trying to make me think that you can and that I can love a human? Rocks don't have feelings! I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I d-d-d-d-d-d-d-"
By now tears have begun making their way down his cheeks. They turn bright red from the shame of it all. Look at the sheer misery of it all. I'm causing him so much pain and he hasn't even caused any back this time. I want more of this fire. I want him to burn me up. I want to feel so much pain that the memory of the man that I was will be completely erased.
"Placido you're glitching. You need to calm down!" I beg.
"Let him. If he wasn't meant for feelings then you can't force them on him." Kiryu interrupts.
"But I know he can!" I protest.
Kiryu sighs. Placido limply releases himself from my body and curls up on a heap on the floor. If the fire won't return then it's best that I put him out of his misery.
"Androids can't feel." He mutters.
"Yes we can." I reply.
"How? How can we, a thing without a soul, feel a single thing at all?"
"Because God gave them to us."
"God? God? Z-ONE you mean? Z-ONE is no God."
"Get up and hit me. Let me feel the fire that's inside of you again. Embrace all emotions. Hate me, love me, like me, despise me, kiss me, kill me, embrace every emotion that you have with all your strength because you're wasting your soul on an impossible desire."
Placido says nothing. Kiryu stands up and walks out.
"Where do you think you're going?" I snap without meaning to towards him.
"Somewhere where there aren't crazy androids having freak outs on the floor." He snarks.
"Fine, good riddance." I mutter, returning my attention back to the silent android.
Placido is still sobbing and glitching even harder. I get down to his level and place a hand on his shoulder to turn him to face me.
"Placido look at me." I beg.
He writhes at my touch.
"Placido." I say much firmer, as if talking to a child.
He doesn't move so I turn him myself. I stare him directly in the eyes and he sobs. I lift him into my arms and hold him as tightly as I can. I kiss him. I kiss Placido. He doesn't even resist. I pull off.
"Androids don't feel. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d" He glitches.
His bright red eyes are lined with tears. I got what I wanted then, to hurt and be hurt. Too assure that I can still feel everything. What would I be if I lost feeling? Who would I be? Who am I? Does it matter? Does anything?
"Placido I found you!" A nightmarish wail of a voice cries.
Lucciano. Good. He needs to see this.
"Placido has broken down." I mention.
"He's done what?" The boy asks.
"I confronted him with the reality of emotion and he broke down."
"No, no, no,no! We need him Antinomy! You're so stupid! Androids can't really feel! It's all in our programming! And you broke it! Stupid! This is your fault! If we can't restart time then it's all your damn fault!" He shrieks. "Placido. Placido you need to stop. Please."
He sits down by his other self and whimpers a bit.
"I liked Placido. He was a dumbass and useless and a stupid bully but he knew how important everything was. He knew that no matter what we couldn't stop to enjoy things. He always stopped me when I tried being a human. I should have been here to stop you. I'm a horrible other self." Lucciano mutters. "I guess it can't be helped now."
The young boy opens up a small panel on Placido's back and type's in a code. The bright red in his eyes fades to a dull and deeper shade.
"If you really loved him as you've always claimed then you would have left well enough alone." Lucciano sneers as he calls for Jose.
I might as well put myself out of this misery as well. We shouldn't exist. We're just a parody of human nature dancing like fools. Placido has lost that fire that came with the arrogance of loneliness. I suppose that's what I wanted. To be burnt and broken and to cry and to feel ever emotion on my own. I felt hate. I felt shame. I felt guilt. So many things that aren't programmed. I'm human now. I'm human enough now right? Right? Right! So stupid. It's lies. Everything is a lie. All emotion. All pretense of freedom. I'm an android. Androids can't really feel. So why am I so sad? Because it's programmed? Placido. He was more than someone to try out theories of feelings on. He could have been more. So stupid. Thinking this is so stupid. I'm so stupid. It really is that kind of world though isn't it? A dirty lying world that just wants everyone dead! And I shouldn't care. Because, because, because, because, because, an-an-an-androids d-d-d-d-d-d-d-on't f-f-f-f-f-f-f-eel! I'll detach myself. And then, I won't feel anything. Ever again! It's true. If I detach myself then I won't feel any more guilt.
Additional Note: Okay, okay Lucciano's chapter comes next and that opens up another whole can of worms. It's basically from when Placido get's kidnapped to now. It also shows some more characterization of Placido through Lucciano's erratic behavior regarding him. Also you may have noticed that character's whose chapters are at the same time say the same line. That is intentional. Divine, Crow and Brave have all said it's a terrible day for rain. So Lucciano would have a line that matches up to one of Kazama's. Also characters whose stories are connected have the same theme. The Trickstar Tragedy had the theme of death. This one has humanity. The others will be revealed when they are complete or close to completion. So there you have it.