Disclaimer: It's obscene. First full year without Phil of the Future being broadcasted. Ouch. Hurts almost as much as my not owning PotF.
•BEEP •
Hello, this is your neighbor, Vice-Principal Hackett. Did you notice I didn't call myself "Vice-Principal Neil"? That's because, Barb and Lloyd, this is an official phone call. This time (sigh), it's Phil. Just for the record, this is the ninth call for Phil, Pim's still at forty-two, but it's only Monday and she remains the favorite in the faculty's weekly pool, possessing a significant lead over Myron, his sister Jerry, and the rest of our incorrigibles. Despite this, it's your son who's soared to a new low: placing pornographic on the shelves of the school library? I'm shocked, just shocked! Mr. and Mrs. Diffy, a library is a sacred place, like a church, synagogue or hotel ballroom. Please call me back immediately when you can come to school to have a conference and, likely (current odds being offered are 8 to 3 by Pim), take Phil home ... for a few days. Oh, Phil's denied placing these magazines in the periodical section, and claiming that he's never even seen them before, but I say the evidence is overwhelming: five issues of the same dirty magazine, all with "PHIL DIFFY" and your street address printed in the address box on each cover?* I mean, don't they send these in brown paper wrappers anymore. I know the ones I subscribe to ... anyway, please call me back at the school A.S.A.P., O.K., Neighbors?
•BEEP •
BEEP approaches its 100th chapter:
6
* We, of course, know Phil is innocent, because we've overheard Owen's confession in front of Phil and Keely at the school's flagpole when O-Dog tells Phil that he's really sorry about his ordering a magazine under Phil's name. (Get Ready To Go-Go)