A/N: Angsty and stuff. Y'know. I really struggled with the dream section, and eventually went back to my first draft of having it in first person pov. Which doesn't really fit with the rest of the story, but it felt by far more effective. Bugger. Was tempted to just cut that section out for good, so I hope it works.
Chapter 71 - Dreams and Premonitions
The lone tomkah hobbles back to the Hollows, the atmosphere inside the truck a somber one. Garrus is lying stretched out on the seats, looking rather mangled by the brute's claws, but groaning and insisting he is fine, begging not to be placed in the care of Dr. Chakwas. Shepard's knee is hurting like hell despite several applications of medi-gel, but that pain is nothing compared to the pain eating at her heart, making her wish there had been something she could have done differently, some way to stop Mordin from making this sacrifice.
Sometime during the journey they can hear a massive detonation in the distance, and the Shroud collapses entirely, but it has served its purpose. The krogan are cured from their terrible curse, free to restore the legacy of their ancestors. All thanks to the sacrifice of one salarian.
They leave the tomkah as they arrive at the Hollows, Cortez waiting for them already, the shuttle hovering in the air above the sacred gathering place. Shepard and Liara help Garrus climb out of the tomkah, and together they stand in the middle of the Hollows, a strange feeling as if sensing the very history in making spreading all around them, turning them quiet and pensive, acutely understanding the importance of their actions here on this day... and also knowing that this is the time to say farewells.
Wrex stands next to an old and stained block of stone, looking down at it thoughtfully. "A long time ago..." he starts to speak. "My father betrayed me in this place. His own son. He tried to kill me. So I had to kill him... right over here," Wrex nods at the spot on the ground. "That's what the genophage reduced us to. Animals! But you..." he turns towards Morgan. "You changed that today, Shepard."
Eve steps up to stand next to Wrex, nodding. "Now we'll fight for our children, not against them. It is just a pity that Mordin had to die," she adds, deep regret in her voice.
"Yeah..." Shepard sighs. "He's the true hero of this day, not me. Well... I guess we all did our parts, and we are all heroes for what we achieved here today... but this one... this will become his monument. His legacy."
"We'll name one of the kids after him," Wrex grins, his usual sense of humor returning with aplomb. "Maybe a girl." He then grows more serious. "Tell the Primarch that I'll be deploying troops to Palaven immediately. That ought to make you happy, eh, Garrus?"
"Hopefully it won't be too late for my people, and my family," the turian replies, wincing in pain as he speaks.
"And Liara, if things get too hot on your homeworld... just tell your father to send me a message and krogan boots will be on Thessia, helping you kick some Reaper ass," Wrex gives Liara a sly wink as he speaks.
"That's... very kind of you, Wrex," Liara does look grateful, now understanding the massive importance behind Aethyta's actions. "I am sure she will be relieved to hear it. I have heard that the Reapers are beginning a serious push towards Thessia."
"And Shepard, when you are ready to take back Earth, you let me know," Wrex finally turns back to Morgan. "The krogan are back in business!"
"There is much work to be done on Tuchanka as well," Eve says. "Even now, there are clans gathering in the Kelphic Valley. We must spread the hope that you and Mordin have given to us. I will go speak to them and make sure that this gift is not squandered." She steps closer and takes Shepard's hands in hers, taking a bow. "Goodbye, Commander, and thank you for all that you have done. Know that Urdnot Bakara calls you a friend."
"Farewell, Shepard," Wrex adds. "Expect a message from me in a few days, there is another matter that you will agree demands looking into. But I won't trouble you now," he looks them over with rare sympathy, everyone amongst her crew except Liara suffering more or less serious injuries. "Take some time to lick your wounds, Shepard. I'll see you again before this is all over."
"Undoubtedly, Wrex. Best of luck to you, and to Bakara," she manages a smile at the two krogan, standing side by side, as together with Liara and Garrus they turn around and slowly walk back to the Kodiak shuttle, Cortez landing it swiftly to pick them up and bring them back to the Normandy.
One of the greatest mistakes in galactic history has been corrected on this day. But the price paid for it, ensures that there will be no loud celebrations, merely pensive reflections, slowly coming to terms with the realization that there was nothing else to do, and that Mordin chose his fate willingly, leaving this life with pride, purpose and meaning, becoming a true hero and a legend at least in the eyes of Shepard and her friends.
Now go back and get the lieutenant and get the hell out of here. You know it's the right choice LT.
I look at my hands, they are covered with blood, sticky and red. I place them in a sink, and I scrub and I scrub, but it won't come off. Your death was my choice, time-proven mistake.
I ask myself, when will this end?
By the code I will serve you Shepard. Your choices are my choices. Your morals are my morals. Your wishes are my code.
I look at my hands, they are covered with blood, now purple of hue. I place them in a sink, and I scrub and I scrub, but it won't come off. Your death was my failure, borne of my weakness.
I shout to the heavens, when will this end?
When I first saw you, you were nothing but meat and tubes. Anywhere else, they'd have put you in a coffin.
I look at my hands, they are covered with blood, turning red again. I place them in a sink, and I scrub and I scrub, but it won't come off. Your death was my responsibility, caused by my absence.
I pray to the gods, please, let this end!
Never experiment on species with members capable of calculus; simple rule, never broke it.
I look at my hands, they are covered with blood, thick and deep green. I place them in a sink, and I scrub and I scrub, but it won't come off. Your death was my despair, sacrifice I could not prevent.
I fall silent. Now I know, this will never end.
Shepard wakes from her nightmare with a scream so loud that it is still ringing in her ears long afterwards. Liara has almost toppled out of the bed from surprise, and Morgan herself is worried that everyone on the ship have heard her shouting. "Gods..." she moans, pulling herself up in the bed, feeling the cold and sweaty shirt clinging to her skin unpleasantly.
"Is everything alright?" Liara gives her a very worried stare. "You're having... what do humans call them, nightmares?"
"Yeah. A real vivid one," Shepard replies, rising and jumping out of the bed. "Any more nightmares like this and I'll be afraid to go to sleep at night."
"Careful with that knee of yours, don't put pressure on it," Liara warns her. With the nightmare and everything, Shepard has already forgotten about the injury and receiving treatment on her knee not too long ago. "I found it curious that Dr. Chakwas allowed you to leave the medbay so soon," Liara adds.
"Well, with Garrus, Javik and James it was getting really crowded," Morgan replies.
"I don't think that's it, she said something akin to 'if my guess is correct, your knee will be as good as new in the morning'," Liara says, trying to remember the conversation from the evening before. "I wonder if it is something to do with those Cerberus implants of yours. Dr. Chakwas mentioned looking into them."
"Well, if they get me back into fighting shape this quickly, I won't complain," Shepard chuckles, testing the knee a little, doing some stretching. "It's just a little sore, but otherwise completely fine," she says, turning around and heading towards the shower.
"Aren't you going to tell me about the nightmare?" Liara asks, stopping her.
"Oh... the usual one... subconscious trying to guilt trip me about all the friends we've lost... probably magnified by what happened to Mordin," she admits eventually.
"I felt something as well while I slept... I do not know if they are like your nightmares," Liara says quietly. "It is like a vision, a premonition."
"Don't tell me you asari can see the future," Shepard chuckles. "I'd just ask you to try and see how this all ends, maybe we should just give up right now and find some remote place where to drag out some hundred years in safety before they come for us..."
"It is nothing like that," Liara stares at her reproachfully. "But these visions tend to be very... real, very vivid. And... I suppose mine was also caused by what happened to Mordin." Shepard does not say anything, urging her to elaborate. "I saw you facing a similar situation as Mordin did, being able to decide the fate of the galaxy by sacrificing yourself. But unlike him, you... you hesitated."
"Of course I would," Shepard says, heavy feeling creeping into her heart. "To leave you behind, I... I'm not sure... it would be... difficult."
Liara almost leaps out of the bed and swiftly walks up to Morgan. Much to Shepard's dismay, she suddenly and unexpectedly finds herself slapped across the face, hard. "Do you think I would find this touching or... or romantic?" she sounds angry and upset. "You would really do this to me? If you truly care about me, Morgan... don't make me into the asari who made the great Commander Shepard flinch and doom the galaxy. I won't be made responsible for the destruction of everything we fought for, because your feelings for me got in the way! How could I live with that kind of guilt, tell me that!"
"I... I hadn't really... thought about that," Shepard confesses quietly, starting to see Liara's point. "I just never placed myself in that kind of situation in my thoughts. But I... I see what you mean."
"Good," Liara nods. "Then promise me that you will not hesitate. Promise that you will do the right thing."
"On one condition, Liara," Shepard replies, Liara facing her curiously, waiting for her to continue. "You will allow yourself to move on, unlike after the first time I died. Grieve, but do not drown in sorrow. Miss me, but don't harden your heart. Cherish our time together, but let yourself love again. Please... if I am to do something like that, I need to know I am not leaving you behind completely miserable."
Liara lowers her eyes, sigh escaping her lips. "I... I promise to try," she finally manages. "It won't be easy... but I will try. I know that the trap I fell into on Ilium was not healthy for me... I will not make the same mistake again, I promise."
"That's all settled then," Morgan manages a serene smile before kissing Liara on the brow, then turning around to head for the shower with a faked spring in her step.
"Hell of a thing you just pulled off, Commander," Hackett tells her on the QEC. Even after a refreshing shower, Shepard still finds herself exhausted and speaking about what they have gone through on Tuchanka feels incredibly draining. "Curing the genophage... I never thought I'd see the day."
Shepard nods tiredly. "The turians will get their krogan troops right away. That means turian fleets for us, and their support in building the Crucible."
"I imagine that leaves the salarians out of the equation," Hackett remarks. "I expected the official channels to explode after reports of the genophage being cured, but it has been... remarkably quiet so far. Do you know anything about that, Commander?"
"Maybe," Shepard shrugs. "I think I managed to shut Linron up the last time we talked. Or at least made her understand that it is in her own interests not to interfere." Hackett gives her a slightly worried look, but doesn't say anything.
"She did send me a very angry message mere moments ago, I read it just prior to coming here," Morgan continues a moment later. "But I think that will be the end of it." 'I am ashamed to also learn that our own scientist sacrificed his life carrying out your orders.' It was you who killed him, you fucking lizard, you and your STG sabotage! Without it, Mordin would have never had to take that elevator up to sacrifice himself! One day... one day you will answer for this, I swear.
"Maybe they will reconsider when the Reapers put more pressure on them," Hackett says. "So far the action on Sur'Kesh has been light compared to what the other races have to contend with."
"Has Major Kirrahe delivered on his promise to get us some support?" Shepard asks.
"He has," Hackett nods. "We've been getting a lot of back-channel commitments from the strike teams within STG. They're going to support us. Our intel suggests there are cracks developing between the military and the politicians. These STG guys know the score. They're not going to jeopardize the entire Union just because Linron didn't get her way."
"Poor dalatrass, she must be really feeling the heat from all sides now," Morgan grins, then instantly becoming serious when she remembers what she was about to ask. "Liara mentioned that the asari are starting to come under some serious pressure. Do you have any more intel about that, sir?"
"Yes, we have been getting some very alarming reports from Thessia. The Reaper forces are gathering in strength, their numbers close to what they have deployed on Earth and Palaven," Hackett shakes his head, looking deeply worried. "Shepard, you know that the asari aren't exactly adept at fighting nasty ground wars. This could get ugly very quickly and very soon."
"Not what I wanted to hear..." Shepard mutters, starting to feel depressed. "We just can't catch a break in this war. I mean, we score one victory and immediately they hit back, making sure we can't even draw a single deep breath."
"The Reapers are everything we feared and more, Commander," Hackett agrees, for a moment looking a little shaken up himself. "Now... is there anything else, before I let you return to your duties, Shepard?"
"I... I don't suppose there are any news about my mother?" Morgan is almost afraid to ask, considering that most of the updates she receives are of the bad kind.
"I'm afraid there is still no sign of the SSV Orizaba," Hackett says, looking at her apologetically. "But I have found out something of importance. The Orizaba was sent on a classified mission near the Perseus Veil. It is quite possible they are still pursuing their mission goals out of the range of all communications."
"Oh, I see..." Shepard gives a relieved exhale. "Spying on the quarians and the geth, are they?" Hackett doesn't reply, giving her a brief smirk. "Thank you for that, sir. At least it's something to hold on to."
"Take care, Commander," Hackett says, his image fading on the holoscreen, as Shepard turns around to leave the comm room, on her way stepping by the CIC to exchange a few words with Specialist Traynor.
"Waiting for new orders, Commander," Samantha Traynor greets her with expectant smile.
"Well... first order of things will be to get to the turian space and drop off Primarch Victus," Shepard says, having thought for a moment. "He insists on being back with his people, fighting shoulder to shoulder on Menae."
"It is admirable and inspiring to have leaders who are willing to risk so much, themselves included," Traynor says, giving her a fond look. "And afterwards, any plans, ma'am?"
"We can't take on any missions like the one on Tuchanka before the crew has recovered," Shepard replies, staring at the galaxy map before her. "I'm just... tempted to pick some random location and... fly around aimlessly, if only for a little bit."
"I think you have earned a little respite, Commander," Samantha says softly. "And that galaxy map... always makes me tingly. Do you know how many strategy games have been built from that interface?"
"You a gamer chick, Traynor?" Shepard chuckles. "I should have known."
"I play a few games, yes," Samantha admits. "I prefer chess, though. I have this wonderful set made from rose quartz and hematite back home. I like the feel of something... solid in my hands."
"Hmm, maybe we can have a game at some point," Morgan grins. "During my house arrest... I didn't have much else to do than read books or play chess with myself. I think James just doesn't have the brain for it," she adds with a conspiring wink.
"It's a deal, Commander," Traynor beams. "It will certainly be more fun than playing EDI. She doesn't sweat."
"I can't remember sweating while playing chess, myself," Shepard remarks, a little confused.
"Well... maybe you just never had enough fun while playing... that could change," Traynor remarks with a meaningful wink.
Uh-oh, red alert! Shepard quickly decides. Time to change the topic of conversation! "We'll see about that, Samantha," she says. "Anyway, speaking about missions, we will have something in a few days from Wrex. He said he has a concern to investigate."
"There are also some Cerberus operations that Admiral Hackett asked us to investigate," Traynor says. "There are reports of Cerberus abducting civilian targets on Benning. Also, the Admiral wants us to take over a Cerberus fighter base located on Noveria."
"Noveria..." Shepard exclaims, shuddering. "There's one place I hoped never to go back to."
"What happened on Noveria?" Traynor asks, looking concerned. "Err, unless it's... something private."
"Difficult mission several years ago," Shepard explains. "We were forced to kill Matriarch Benezia T'Soni."
"T'Soni? As in..." Traynor hesitates.
"Yes. Liara's mother," Shepard says simply, turning around to leave. "She died in Liara's arms. If there is a single planet I loathe above everything else... it's Noveria."