Disclaimer: Allegedly Phil of the Future is owned by someone, some ones or something. I'm innocent, I tell ya.
•BEEP •
Hullo there. I'm attempting to get ahold of a student from H. G. Wells? This is corrections officer Sarge Marge of the state penitentiary. I came out to the high school to offer a bright career outlook to some lucky students last week, and, well, I have the results of an aptitude test taken by one Pim Diffy. From the moment this girl eye balled me at my booth, I knew there was something special about her, an intensity regarding the enforcement of rules and the punishment of those who crossed her. Um, this is kind of embarrassing - - see, according to corrections aptitude assessment she took, she definitely has a career in the penitentiary system. I mean, her scores are record breaking ... just not in the direction we hire from. This ... this is an unusual offer that the Justice Department has asked me to make on its behalf, but here goes: Pim Diffy, in recognition of your ground breaking test results, we'd like to make you an offer. How would you like to be a prison warden? Yes, we realize that you're still in school, eighth grade? But we can't argue with your scores, and there is a budget crisis in California right now, so we're hoping you'll intern, or at least work cheap.
Look, I'll level with you, Diffy. With your criminal aptitude scores, we realize you're going to have a long career in the penal system; it's simply a question of which side of the bars you're going to be spending time behind; we know you'll be running the prison either way! If you're not interest in this offer, perhaps you'd like to make your reservation early? For now, the choice is yours, Miss Diffy, or should we call you "Miss Tunnel Rat"?
•BEEP •
BEEP approaches its 100th chapter:
3