Disclaimer: -still holding my breath-
A.N. - 100 Beeps over a year's span, 100 reasons for Phil of the Future fans to keep checking out this area, maybe review a story, or even better, pen and post one of their own for all to enjoy. Not the largest group ever, true, but we've always been the kindest and friendliest, and just possibly the most loyal and creative. Thank yous go out to everyone who read, reviewed, and especially those who submitted the sixteen guest writer Beeps of their own. Please, read and review older PotF stories from past contributors; they just might write more.
Your Pickfordian Pal,
CraftyNotepad
•BEEP •
Zis is for Herr Neil Hackett, V. P. Vast is zist "V. P."? "M. D.," "PhD," D. D. S.," even "M. V. P." I haf heard of, but "V. P.?" Vat is zist un "Very Important Person," minus zee "Important" part? It matters nein. Vas is of importantz is zat you and I have an appointment ut four sharp next Toozday. Be on time! I do not tolerate tardy little skool boys, V. P.
Now, I will leave questions and you will promptly leavenzee answers on mein answer box thingy. you will answer all my questions without question! WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT MEIN CLINIC? It matters nein. Relax. You must relax, mein friend. All that matters is that you know that I am here to help you and that mein methods, while some vould call old fashion, barbaric even, are effective nearly 51-percent uf the time!
Zo, Herr Hackett, let me have a look see at your form. Ja, ja, dat is gut. Gut ... gut ... whoopsie doodle. Just how long have you believed dat your neighbors are aliens? Do they have antennas that come out of their heads or ... oh, I see. Vell, ya, green is a vell established color for aliens ... not so sure about the white beards, though. Let me see here, what else? Ja, ja, ooh ... you had a pony in your office wearing a hat and it disappeared? Vell, why vas your office wearing a hat? Look, I see this kind of thing all dee time: pony issues; mein own papa promised me a pony, too. You just haf to let go of your inner child, Neilly. Grow up for goodness sake - what are you, still in skool? Well, this ... oh, you wrote on the back of zee form, also. Oh, tsk, tsk, tsk. you haf had un encounter with aliens in your backyard. Dey made you beautiful, oh, you made yourself beautiful and they changed you to look like dis - see attached photo - Ach you Lieber! Vas haf de dun tu you, Mein Herr? you haf no hair!
Mein Gott, dis is serious. I do not have to read any more. You stay right there and I will come to you. Stay right where you are. Don't move. Don't talk with anyone. I vill come and take you to a nice safe place vere dees aliens will never bother you ever again. (Schultz! Start the truck! Villie! Get the sports jacket with dee sleeves zat tie in the back.) Don't worry, Herr V. P., I have the Very Place for and important patient like you.
•BEEP •