Chapter 20

"What!?" I shouted, causing the four turtles to jump, "Why are you suddenly in charge of what's growing inside of me!?"

"I have just as much right as you to decide what I want to do with that thing!" Raph shouted back.

"That thing? This is your child we are talking about. Don't you care!?" I had risen from my seat at this point and had my hands fisted into balls; anger shaking my body. Raph seemed a little annoyed, while Donnie and Michey were looking a little scared. Raph rose from his seat and towered a little over me. I stared up at him, my anger diminishing a little.

"What if this child is dangerous? It could harm us as well as those on the surface," he said, anger flaring in his eyes. I glared.

"I don't care; it is still my child, regardless of whether you disown it," I snapped.

"Tristan; you keep this child and I won't ever let you come back to the lair," Raph finally snapped back.

"Do I want to know why you two are arguing?" asked a voice from the hallway leading to the bedrooms. We all turned to see Splinter. Raph and I turned away, not wanting to say anything. "Is anyone going to say anything?" Splinter pressed on

"Sensei, it's a little hard to explain," Leo replied, "and besides I shouldn't be saying anything when it's not my place." Splinter raised an eyebrow.

"All right, please continue with what you were doing," he said, turning to walk away.

"It's alright; I was just leaving," I said.

"Don't leave," Donnie said, "where are you going to stay?" I turned to him.

"It's alright, I'll be staying at April's apartment; you know the phone number for her house," I replied.

"April isn't at home."

"I know that; and I don't care, I'm staying there." Leo rose from his seat and walked over to me.

"Just stay with us until April gets back and then you can leave if you still feel like it," he said. I exhaled a large breath of air.

"Fine; but one decision about what I should do with the child then I am out," I replied, my voice calming down a bit. Leo nodded.

"That is acceptable. You can even have your old room back," he said, with a smile on his face. I half grinned back.

"Michey, aren't you supposed to be making dinner right now?" Donnie asked. Michey beamed.

"You're right. I'll go make something now," He said. Michey turned away and walked towards the kitchen.

"Donnie, could you go and see that Tristan has the right levels of iron and what not in her body to carry this child and have a safe birth?" Leo asked, turning to the purple head banded turtle; who then nodded and motioned for me to follow him. We walked to his lab and he grabbed a machine to test my blood pressure. He wrapped the strap around my upper left arm and turned the machine on. The strap started to tighten itself then slowly release the pressure. The numbers on the machine rose then fell before landing on 123/75.

"Your blood pressure seems to be normal," Donnie said, "Now all I have to do is run a few blood tests to make sure everything is normal." He took the strap off and grabbed a syringe. I rolled up my sleeve and held out my arm for him to draw blood. Donnie placed the needle to my skin and pierced it. I watched as the syringe vial filled with the thick red substance. Donnie took the needle out from my arm and placed a drop onto a glass slide.

"You should go and get something to eat," Donnie said, looking through his scope. I nodded and walked out of his lab. I headed towards the kitchen and met Michey. He was cooking something in a pot.

"Hey Michey," I said, "What are you cooking?"

"Just the usual," he said.

"Can I have a bowl when you have cooked it?"

"Sure, but are you sure you want it?"

"Yeah, just don't tell me what it is yet."

"Deal." Michey had a look of concern on his face as he decided I could have whatever he was making; more so to the fact that I wanted it. I watched Michey scurry around the kitchen, adding a few more ingredients into the pot. I then headed towards the table and sat down. I rested my head in my open palm and stared at the wood that was formed to make the table. I stared until I started to see small images in the wood pattern. A bowl slide in front of me. I looked up and smiled at Michey, who smiled back at me a little unsure.

"Enjoy," he said, "If you don't like it then just let me know. I'll be sure to make something better."

"Thank you," I replied, "I'll let you know if I want something else if I don't like this." Michey walked away and headed back towards the kitchen. I picked up my spoon and looked down at the substance in the bowl. It was green and appeared to be moving. I shoved the spoon into it and scooped up a small amount. I placed it into my mouth and started to chew. The taste was a little strange. I bit into something thin, which burst and tasted gooey. I swallowed and went for a second mouthful. Before long, I had finished the bowl and was really satisfied with it. I picked up the bowl and stood up. I headed towards Michey and held out my bowl.

"Could I please have some more?" I asked. Michey's eyes went wide before he nodded and slowly took my bowl. He filled it up and handed it back to me. I went back to the table and started eating. Footsteps sounded from the bedroom area and I glanced up. Raph was walking towards me. He sat down next to me and rubbed his head with one hand. He looked down at the table, opening and closing his mouth a few times. I swallowed my mouthful.

"Is there something you want to say?" I asked, coldly. Raph turned to me.

"I...I want to know how you're doing," he replied. I was a little taken aback.

"I'm...fine," I said.

"I was hoping we could talk this through. I mean, you are pregnant...this is my child. I was hoping we could discuss exactly what's going to happen once it's born." I put my spoon into the bowl and let go of it.

"What is there to discuss? You were the one wanting me to destroy it. Why should we talk about this now?" I snapped.

"Because," he let out a large breath of air, "I'm trying to be rational and think this through." I laughed.

"I'm sorry; you're trying to think rationally? This is coming from the one that stormed out of the room after picking yet another fight with me. You seemed more than pleased to not let this child live. Why should we talk?" I whispered, trying to not let anyone else overhear our conversation. Raph leant his head in closer to mine and whispered back.

"Tristan; listen to me...I'm sorry for everything I've done to you, but can't you just hear me out now?" he asked. I closed my eyes for a few moments then opened them again.

"Raph, I don't think I want to listen to you. I am so sick of...of trying to live a normal life after meeting you," I replied, tears forming in my eyes, "I just want to have this child and I want to have someone to help me with the kid. I also don't want this child to grow up and not know who its father is." A tear leaked down my face and I quickly wiped it away. I sniffed.

"Listen, I'm not entirely thrilled about the idea of having this child; but I want...I want you to be happy." Raph took my hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb. I moved my hand out of his grip and pushed my hair back. I blinked my tears away and looked into Raph's golden eyes.

"I just need some time alone," I mumbled.

"Time alone? You went missing for a week. How much time do you need?" he asked.

"I don't know; I...I don't know. It's hard for me to do this; I...I just need a reason to keep living."

"A reason to keep living? The you I knew before already had a reason to keep living. Your brother was the only family you had left and you risked everything you had to make sure that he had a good and normal life. He was your reason to go on. Everything you went on for, does that mean nothing to you now?"

"I don't know what I was like before, but I had nothing to live for after losing my memory. I had nothing. The only thing I now have to live for is growing inside of me and I am scared," I said, hissing out the word 'nothing.'

"There is so much more to live for; why can't you just accept that?" Raph asked.

"Maybe because I don't want to accept it. I don't want to live for simple things like you do; I want to live for myself and not for things like everyone else has," I snapped back. Raph sighed, and then stood up. He walked to the back of my chair then leaned in to my ear.

"Just think about this for a moment. Once you decide to be an adult about this, come and talk to me," he said. He left the room and I heard the door to the lair open then close. I picked up my spoon and started to scoop up some more of my food so that I could eat. I felt guilt take over my feelings and I started to play with it. I would scoop it up then flip the spoon over and let my food splat back into the bowl. I threw my spoon down and pushed the bowl away. I placed my head in my hands and shut my eyes. I grabbed a few handfuls of my hair and took a deep breath before releasing it. I opened my eyes and picked up my bowl. I took it to the kitchen sink and rinsed out the contents down the sink. I placed the dirty dishes on the side bench and turned around. My head felt like it was spinning. I walked towards the room where Leo was training and knocked on the door.

"Hey, I'm going out for a while. I just need to get some air," I said. Leo stopped punching the punching bag and turned to me.

"Here take this," he said, fishing something out from his sash and tossed it to me. "Don't lose it and please be careful." I smiled and placed the shell-cell in my pocket.

"Sure thing. I will be back later; don't worry about me," I replied. I walked to the lair's entrance and opened the door. I listened to it shut behind me, before walking down the sewer to find a man hole that lead to the streets above. I found a ladder and proceeded to climb it. I came out at a small back street and replaced the man hole cover. I walked down the small and darkened street, trying to clear my thoughts. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't notice that I was getting further and further away from the main street that I was usually near. A laugh came from my right. I turned my head in alarm to look. A man in his late twenties was there watching me carefully. I went past him quickly. It wasn't until I had reached a cross road, that I realised that I was lost. I stopped and turned to look back. I noticed a few people were starting to gather into a large group. I turned back and went down the street to my left. I quickened my pace, hoping to find something to tell me where I was. I quickly ducked into a doorway and hid in the shadows. I peered out and saw the group slowly walking down the street. I got back into the shadows and tried my best to not be noticed. I sank down to the concrete and placed my legs in a bent position. The footsteps of the group came closer. I shut my eyes waiting for the worst. The footsteps went right past where I was hiding and I opened my eyes. I peered out and saw the group vanishing down the next street. I stood up and stepped out of the doorway. I looked down each side of the street then followed the same path that the group had gone down. I reached the edge of the buildings and placed my body to it. I peered around the corner, keeping to the shadows as best as I could. The group wasn't too far away looking for me. I stepped back and almost instantly, a hand wrapped itself around my mouth and another went around my chest. I grabbed the arm around my chest and tried screaming. Not much sound came out. I was dragged away into a larger patch of shadow. I struggled.

"Calm down, would you?" a gentle voice said in my ear. I stopped and the hand was released from my mouth. I turned around and came face to face with Raph.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. Raph took his hand away from my back.

"I needed to escape the lair for a while and I saw you being followed by those people. I figured I should stay nearby in case you got into trouble," he replied. I breathed out a breath of air.

"Raph, I just wanted to say...sorry. I'm sorry for yelling at you. I should have listened to you in the first place. Can you forgive me?" I asked, looking down at the ground. Raph turned his head away and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah, sure; why not?" he replied. I looked back to his face and smiled.

"Thank you."

"Yeah; let's get back to the lair. I think it's time we told Splinter." I nodded. Raph turned away and started to walk away. I followed after him. Raph led me back to the man hole cover and we went down. Raph led us back to the lair and we went in. We didn't waste any time in going to Splinter's room. Raph knocked on the door.

"Please come in," called Splinter's voice. Raph opened the door and we both went in. I shut the door behind us and we sat in front of Splinter. He had his legs crossed and his hands on each of his knees. His eyes were closed and his ear twitched a bit. He opened his eyes and his face crinkled into a smile.

"Hello you two," he said.

"Hello Splinter," I replied. Splinter uncrossed his legs and knelt down.

"May I help you with anything?" he asked. I glanced at Raph then turned back.

"We have something we have to tell you," I said.

(sorry that it took so long to update; i had to find inspiration to write out the chapter. I hope you enjoy it :) )