CHAPTER 3 – JUST ME AND TIME
A/N: Thanks for the reviews and those who are following me and my story
The Long And Winding Road - The Beatles
The wild and windy night that the rain washed away
Has left a pool of tears crying for the day
Why leave me standing here, let me know the way
Many times I've been alone and many times I've cried
Anyway you'll never know the many ways I've tried
And still they lead me back to the long and winding road
You left me standing here a long, long time ago
Don't leave me waiting here, lead me to your door
After walking for over 5 hours, my senses had began to dull and my muscles had grown weary which had been why I was now waking up on the cold hard ground of the small cave that I'd stumbled upon hidden in these forests.
It was small with but large enough for me. It was dark and held a haunted atmosphere with the chilly air that breezed through. The warning smell of rain had been the reason why I had decided to stop walking and sleep. As uncomfortable as it was – I would take this any day from the expensive Egyptian cotton bed sheets in Volterra.
Raising my head from the make-shift pillow (jacket), I stretched my arms out before turning my head side to side, trying to release the tension knotted in my neck. Rolling my shoulders, I tried to relieve myself from the consequences of sleeping in a cave but none of it seemed to help so I gave in, slumping my shoulders.
Blinking away the sleep, I squinted at the opening where the morning light shone but I could still feel the chill of the night as it trembled through the small space making me shiver so I unfolded my jacket and shrugged into it before slinging my bagpack onto my back and taking my duffel as I crawled to the end of the cave.
There was no sign of the sun as it was hidden behind the cloudy sky but I could still feel it's rays teasing my skin.
Sunlight had been something else that I missed. I longed for the complete warmth of it but for now, this was enough.
After yesterday's light rainfall, the dampened forest was masked with today's petrichor, overwhelming the aromas of the wildlife. Everything seemed to breathe more life – each scent richer and more potent and I slid to the ground taking it all in while trying to come to terms with the fact that this was real.
Here I was, out in the open with never-ending possibilities without iron bars or looming brick walls, which set the boundaries in life.
No – here I was…in freedom.
And it was all real.
There was nowhere I had to be.
No orders. No demands.
Just me and time.
But as I continued to think over this – loneliness grew and it began to scream at me, capturing my attention as the deafening thoughts seemed to burden me along with the miniature bag pack that had easily fit all that was left of my life.
Reaching up, I pulled the necklace out from under my top, closing my fingers around the silver pendant, stroking my thumb over the rough carvings and allowing my forlorn thoughts to digress into memories that were besieged with of what had been real.
With each flashing image drew a dagger that struck my heart – the excruciating pain took over the numbness that I had built. With the beginning of my raspy gasps that had me trembling, I decided it was enough so I ripped my fingers away from the necklace as my thoughts drew nearer to them. If I thought of that – I don't think I could keep my promise of fighting.
Tearing away from my darkening thoughts, my eyes were frantic as they searched my surroundings. Although it was quiet, I could still sense the cautious animals around me, I could hear their varying heartbeats – the rapid fluttering of the birds and the steady beating of a nearby deer.
I felt myself go lightheaded and a wave of nausea rushed through me so I dug my fingers into the dampened earth, using my fourth element to grant me some power to exercise my senses further. With this help, I could hear how the leaves grazed against the barks of the trees – I could hear the low moaning of the breeze as it filtered through the gaps of the forest – I could hear the whispering touch of the deer's hooves as it vigilantly graced through the trees about 6 miles away from me. Reaching out even further, I could hear the faint sounds of bubbling water further up north next to what I could hear was a town due to the sounds of revving engines and horns beeping.
Pulling away from my trance, I dusted my dirtied hands on my jeans as I shook my head and blinked away my blurred vision and breathed deeply as I returned to the right state of mind and began to mull over my next move.
Clearly there was human life if I continued on northwards. I should visit and see if it was adequate for me to reside in – if not then I would just pick up a change of clothes and eat and drink before continuing on, in search of somewhere safer.
Once my plan seemed to make sense, I stood up gripping the strap of my duffel and began to walk – following the perceived sounds that were now fixed into my mind.
I could envision it now - a cool inviting lake as it rippled with the breeze where I could swim or simply float on the surface after having a taste. Then I would continue on to a town where I was unknown to the residents. They would look at me with no trepidation and no wonder – I would be ordinary to them – blend into the crowd and no questions would be raised.
Further into the forest, I was swallowed by the crowding trees where it became darker but still I could see through it all. I could see the glistening water drops that slid down the leaves; see the tiny ants that marched up the rough bark of the tree; see the path before me that grew narrower as I continued on, pushing through the branches.
As I carried on my journey with a new drive of determination - sounds of the moving cars on the road grew louder so I decided to move away from the now lost path and to turned to my left where the road would be situated.
After a few quickened strides, I emerged from the forest and stumbled down the small hill that joined to the road. Gone was the humid air as it was now replaced with a more polluted atmosphere where I could smell the faintness of carbon dioxide but it was strong enough to make me release an involuntary cough.
I then paused to look from my left to my right where I caught sight of the long winded road which stretched for a couple of miles and in the distance, I could make out the miniature buildings clustered together forming was seemed to be a small town especially seeing as most of them were small – no tall buildings stood out and I took it as a good sign.
I took a brief moment to be proud of my powers but the bliss was cut short-lived as I remembered of the cost of having them.
With a weary sigh, I began walking again, my movements had hastened with the excitement and anxiety of what I would find. Instead of listening to the doubts, I ignored them and indulged in the possibilities.
I could have a home, with a large back garden where I could be free and relax with nature surrounding me. Play about with the elements and strengthen my use so I could maintain better control in case of any intruders…
I was so deep in thought creating my new life plan and thinking about eating that I almost missed the dark green sign with the words CITY OF FORKS WELCOMES YOU in white although the paint seemed to be peeling off. Underneath was the population that read, 3,175.
Only?
This would be perfect.
A small town containing 3,175 people - people who were probably oblivious to the dark supernatural world around them. It was perfect because the less people know about me, the better.
The sound of the rippling water had become louder that it broke through my thoughts and I deliberated over making a quick stop. So instead of continuing on forwards, I turned back into the forests on the other side of the road and picked up pace as the taste of the cool liquid running down my parched mouth manifested. I could feel its iciness quench the burn at the back of my throat which had my jog breaking into a sprint.
Pushing through the trees, I skidded to a stop a I caught sight of the large surface of water – undisturbed and looking so peaceful.
Stuck between surprise and delight, I calmly walked towards the lake, dropping the duffel on my way as I sank to the ground to scoot towards the water. Still trembling, I dipped my cupped hand into the tepid water, pausing as the familiar tremors ran through my fingertips with the smallest touch before finally bringing it up to my lips and taking a small sip – the simple pleasure of the taste made me moan and I dipped back for more.
Then again and again and again until I felt satisfied.
As I moved back to relax for a few moments, I froze with the sight of my reflection in the lapping water. Gone were the blonde locks and the sparkling blue eyes and I had returned.
Long brown hair fell limply down my back but had lost its colour and vibrancy. Deadened brown eyes stared back at me with no glimmer or life in them. Heavy bags under the eyes due to the nightmares that haunted me. The pale pink lips were thin and set in a grim line and the pale skin seemed to have paled to an ash-white as my cheekbones jutted out against my papery skin since I hadn't eaten for months. Food had failed to be a desire and I couldn't find it in myself to swallow it unless it had been forced.
Infuriated by the lifeless weak-looking girl staring back at me, I threw an angered fist at the water and watched as it rippled, blurring the picture but it began to calm again so I stepped away from the lake and moved back to roughly gather my duffel.
As I turned to take one last look at the river, I caught a glimpse of the small house on the other side, sheltered behind the forest firs. Curiosity got the better of me as I could hear no human heartbeat or smell any fresh scent which meant that there would be no one dwelling there.
In full speed, I ran around the lake to the other side to get a closer look before returning for my search of safety.
I came to a stop a few feet away from the hou – no, it was a cabin.
The stench of the growing moss was so strong that I staggered back and began to gag but fought back the bile. Holding my breath, I turned back cautiously with a grimace and continued my examination.
It appeared to be abandoned which meant that no one lived here.
It was fairly large as it even had a small porch –with three wooden steps which had several cracks but also covered by the weeds that had sprouted. I could only see two windows at the front but one had a crack and its last shutter was hanging on for dear life due to the loosened hinges..
Cautiously I leapt to the porch and the floorboards groaned with the weight so I settled for walking on my tip-toes. Cobwebs hang from the corners and I cringed at the sight of the spider that nestled there. With one finger, I pushed the already ajar door, so that I could slip through but winced when it moaned when its rusted hinges turned.
With my inhale, the piling dust made me choke and I splattered as I felt it hit the back of my throat. After my coughing fits, I stepped through as they lessened and I was able to focus on the dark room where cobwebs loitered in every corner. Paint was peeling from the walls and every step I took was echoed with the creak of the floorboards.
Turning to my left where there was an open space, I was met with a large empty room with a fireplace on one end and I envisioned it to be a living room. Stepping inside, I stood in the middle with little light coming from the window on my left. I could imagine how snug it would look with a table and a one or two sofas maybe even fit a small dining table next to the window. On the right was a small counter and behind it were three worn down cabinets hang on the wall.
Continuing my tour, I walked to the opening joining to the 'living room' and pushed the door to reveal a smaller room with walls that grew mould containing a small bathtub with a sink and a toilet next to it and although none of it looked sanitary, I could visualize how it would look like when cleaned and painted. Maybe blue and white tiles?
Opposite where I was standing was an opening and I went through it to find another large room though smaller than the first. All that was left was a dusty rug in the middle and it also had another window. When walking towards it, I could see the lake from here.
This would be a bedroom.
I wanted it,
I wanted this disgusting, spider-infested hazardous cabin.
It would be mine.
A place for privacy – where I could be myself.
A place just for me.
A place that I could call my own.
Once I realized that I'd been visualizing myself in this abandoned cabin, I knew that I had made my decision.
This was where I was to stay.
Walking back out, I rushed back outside and stared up at my new home but my mind materialized it into what the possibilities were.
It was mine.
I found that I was smiling.
The first smile in…
…well in a really long time.
And all because of a run-down cabin in the middle of the woods.
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