Guest - Well, thank you! Every time you review it brightens my day!
Anon - Haha! My idiot brain didn't even make that connection!
haikuowl - I have a very special place in my heart for Crane. He's like that grumpy grandpa who's just bitter at everything.
DittyWrites - Does that wink mean you want to apply the coconut oil to Lynns? Because I'm sure he'd be okay with that. You're hot af.
Guest 2 - Aw! Thanks! I'm sorry it takes me a while to update, but there you have it.
Birdlover123 - I'm glad you're looking forward to more Crane and Nightwing, because Crane is basically stuck with these hecking heroes for a bit.
LittleGrayOwl - Crane's interactions with anyone are priceless.
Chapter Twenty: The Mole People
**Ivy**
"They're dead, you know." She taunted.
Resting against the wall, Eddie looked up from cleaning his nails and smirked. "Possibly, but I don't think so."
"So, certain, are you?" Ivy demanded.
"Ivy," Eddie taunted. "Pamela, my dear woman. How dumb do you think I am?"
She opened her mouth, but he cut her off quickly.
"I have my plans," he stated.
"Oh? Standing around while everyone else dies for you?" She asked.
"Died? Who's died for me?"
"Firefly, possibly, Crane and Selina, most certainly."
Eddie smiled smugly at her, but said nothing, which only stirred her ire further.
"You can't have possibly have made any-"
"Do you know how hard it was to track you and your festering lot down?" A voice barked down the stairs.
Ivy and the Riddler both looked up as a group of sturdy men marched down the wooden steps, each bogged down with duffle bags.
At the end of the line of men, the Penguin waddled, his cigarette holder bouncing with each step.
"Penguin?" Ivy gasped.
"Hello, my dear, you look like a goddess muddied by the filth of mortals," he returned.
"Oswald," the Riddler began. "What are you doing here?"
"I had arrangements made with that entrepreneurial young fellow in the black leather. Is he about?"
"Arrangements?" Eddie demanded. "What sort of arrangements?"
"Might, my lad," Penguin stated, yanking a shotgun out of one of the duffles. "Might."
Ivy pushed up from her vegetation throne and approached Oswald curiously. "Firefly got us these?"
"He's a clever man," Penguin said. "I almost respect him."
"He's not with us," Eddie said, taking a rifle and turning it over in his hands.
"I'm sorry."
"What were the terms of the arrangement?" Ivy asked.
"That boy has already dealt with my problem, these are contractually yours, my dear."
"Will you stay and fight with us?" The Riddler asked.
Oswald eyed him him, puffing away at his cigarette, before he grinned slyly. "What's in for me?"
"We'll love you forever," Ivy said with a quirked eyebrow.
"You're lovelier when you're sardonic, my darling, but no. Alas, I have a legitimate business to run, these old knees aren't made for war." The Penguin cooed as he stroked the underside of Ivy's chin. "I wish you only the best of luck."
"Thank you, Ozzie," she said.
"How did you find us, Oswald?" Eddie inquired.
The Penguin grinned. "Resources, my boy! Resources! But don't worry about being obvious, I only heard from a little hyena, who heard from the puppet, who heard from a bat where you were holing up, when you weren't there I just followed the stink of Manbat."
Ivy glanced over to where Manbat was hunched in the corner slobbering over a sealed bottle of wine, chewing on the neck of the bottle, trying to get at the sweet, fermented grape juice inside.
"I'm amazed Wesker is still alive, he seems like he'd be easy picking." The Riddler murmured.
"He's pledged his allegiance to the Joker, I believe, in return for protection."
Ivy could practically see Eddie's spine stiffen at mention of the Joker and she smirked. "What's the matter, Eddie? Feeling like you're not the only squad leader in town?"
The Riddler frowned, but ignored her.
Waddling to the bottom of the stairs, following behind his men, Oswald stopped and looked back at them, removing the cigarette holder from his mouth.
"Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt," he said.
Eddie smirked. "Sun Tzu, Oswald? I'm choking on the dust coating that old clunker."
"Give 'em hell then," Ozzie grumbled, sticking his cigarette holder back into his mouth and leaving the basement as quickly as he appeared.
Studying a rifle of her own, Ivy scoffed at the pathetic tool, but raised it anyways and aimed it at the Riddler's face.
"That could be loaded, you know?"
"Shall we find out?" She demanded.
"Oh please, Ivy, you and I both know I'd be missed dreadfully." The Riddler said.
She set the rifle down with a disgusted look and hopped onto an old table, watching as the Riddler sorted through the guns and toys brought to them by Oswald.
"I hope we never have to be the last two standing," she mused outloud to herself.
Eddie ignored her, putting .22's with other .22's, setting shotguns with other shotguns.
"I really hoped that I would be the one who got to finally end you," she went on a little louder.
He continued to ignore her.
Ivy huffed and sent a vine to yank Eddie's legs out from under him, sending the Riddler facefirst hard onto the table before him, before he collapsed back onto the floor from the rebound of hitting the table.
Winded, he struggled on the floor for a bit, while Ivy idly swung her legs.
"Was there...something you...needed, Ivy?" He wheezed from the floor.
"Just bored." She said.
Struggling to his feet, Eddie rested his hands heavily on the table, hair fallen into his eyes.
Ivy almost, almost felt bad for pulling his legs out from under him.
Swiping his hair back with a struggling motion, Eddie looked at her finally and said, "go patrol, if you're bored."
"I'd rather kick your ass."
"We all have our kinks," he grumbled. "Do you think you could at least run up and find Harvey for me?"
Ivy thought about turning his request down, but decided against it. Instead, she sent one of her vines out to find the man. After a while, the vines returned, dragging the man down the stairs roughly.
Harvey, for his part, looked mildly disturbed at being vine-handled and folded his arms as he approached them. "You could have just asked us to come down," he snarled.
"Well, I sort of did," Ivy replied flippantly.
As her vines released Harvey, the man straightened his crumpled and dirty suit, and waited.
"Harvey, we are heading out," Eddie said. "Just you and I."
Harvey looked from Ed, to Ivy, then back. "Are we?"
"Yep, grab a gun that pleases you and some ammo," Eddie said. "We leave in five."
"My God, Eddie," Ivy gasped. "Are you doing something? Manbat get the press on the phone."
From his corner Manbat dropped the bottle of wine with a crash and snorted in surprise at the wine splashing over his feet, before dropping down to lap up the spilled liquid.
"He's thinking about it," she insisted, folding her arms. "In the meantime, while you boys run off and play war, what am I to do on the homefront?" She demanded. "Have dinner ready? Press your shirts?"
"Watch over the others," Eddie said simply.
Ivy unfolded her arms in mild surprise.
"You're one of the strongest among us," the Riddler went on. "I want you here in case I don't return."
She quirked an eyebrow, expecting an insult.
Shouldering a rifle, Eddie sneered. "I hate these things, useless tools."
Ivy smirked a little.
"Be careful, Ivy." Eddie said, turning to her. "Do what you think is best, in my absence."
She nodded.
"If we don't return in twenty-four hours, assume we've died and move on," the Riddler went on.
Watching the Riddler and Two-Face until they disappeared up the stairs, Ivy crossed her arms and turned to Manbat who was still sucking and slurping up the spilled wine.
"We've got to get you your serum, Kirk," she murmured. "Before you get tetnus."
Sinking onto her throne, she watched Manbat as he finished off his wine, the poor creature flopping over, unable to walk after downing the whole bottle.
"I feel awful for you, Pamela," someone said as they came down the stairs.
She glanced up to find Fugate heading for her. "What is it, Fugate?" She snapped.
"Merely offering to aid you as a second in command," he said. "We both know that Edward left us with the weak and infirm, you'll need a stronger second than Kirk."
"I'd like someone who has more talents than keeping really, really good time," she stated coolly.
Temple grinned. "Pamela, you are sharp tongued and vicious, but I find myself enamoured."
"The last man who was enamoured with me wound up inside my baby Fly Trap," she stated, giving him a pointed look. "And he fed her for an entire month."
Temple removed his glasses and cleaned them. "I have no doubt, Pamela, but just know that I neither fear nor dislike you and any amount of biting repartee you have in store for me is hardly going to be enough to turn my knees to jelly."
"Buzz, buzz, little man," she waved him off with a loose hand.
"I'm merely saying, Pamela, that I think you are a much more preferred leader to our group," he pointed out.
"Now is hardly the time for a coup," she returned.
"Is any time the right time for a coup?"
Ivy chuckled darkly and waved a hand towards the passed out Manbat, "behold my military might!"
"Behold," Temple said, motioning to the bags of weapons, "your military fire power."
Using her vines to grasp hold of Fugate's shirt front, she yanked him down to her eye level and said firmly, "I will not betray the minor amount of trust given to me by the Riddler. He might be a sleazy puzzle master, but he is a good leader."
"Should anything happen," Fugate corrected himself. "I'll be in your command."
"Get back to your patrols, little man," she growled. "Before I get impatient."