CHAPTER 17 – TRYING TO BELONG

Nirvana – Lithium

I'm so lonely, but that's okay, I shaved my head ...
And I'm not sad
And just maybe I'm to blame for all I've heard ...
But I'm not sure
I'm so excited, I can't wait to meet you there ...
But I don't care

A/N: Thank you so much for the amazing response to the Cullen POV. Didn't know you really wanted to see their side so I may add another one later on…You guys are amazing for getting me on 100 reviews – super pumped and I hope that you love the next chapter. Thank you all.

He placed a gentle hand on my shoulder before advising me, "Awron cadw 'ch chreuau acha 'r afal a arlunia i maes 'i egni" (Now keep you eyes on the apple and draw out its energy) his words were slow and calm. "Alli balfalu 'i?" (Can you feel it)

I fell deeper in the trance as I watched the green apple waver in mid air but I fought to concentrate on the fading burn in my chest fighting for the flames to burn brighter.

"Ach yn gwneud o'r gorau" (You're doing very well sweetheart) he placed a light kiss my forehead and I looked up to watch as he reached out to grab the levitating apple and I pulled my mind away from the connection and watched as he brought it to his lips and took a bite.

Sending him a mock glare, I stood from the floor and moved back to take a seat by mama's feet and watched as she painted. "Isabella , blesio basio 'm 'r farwor" (Isabella, please pass me the chalk) she patted my back with a small smile.

Instead of walking up to the other side of the room, I followed my father's advice and stretched out my hand in direction of where the charcoal was and breathed in and then out to clear my mind as I smiled when it floated towards me and then landed sharply into my arms.

Mum grinned at me and I smiled back feeling proud of myself then glanced at father who seemed pleased as he held out his palm so I could place mine on it.

I was certainly getting better at this but this reminded me of the other children and how they did not like what I did or how I acted.

My eyes caught my father who was bending down to place more wood to the fire."Nhadogi …?" (Father…?)

He looked up from the fire, some of his expressions hidden in the shadows while the right was glowing as the glow from the flames burned bright, "Do, Isabella" (Yes, Isabella)

"Wi 'n anadnabyddus?" (Am I strange?), I murmured shyly casting my eyes onto the ground beneath us.

I could feel both of their worry and watched as they stared back at me, "Paham ddeudech a baban?" (Why would you say that, baby?) mama asked, concern in her tone and I glanced to her as she placed her charcoal down, angling her body towards me.

"Others gwisga t ymddangos at cara 'm" (Others do not seem to like me) I whispered, "Ddeudan Dwi 'n anadnabyddus" (They say that I'm strange)

Mama sank down on the floor next to me then cupped my cheeks so I could look into her warm eyes, "Ach mo 'n anadnabyddus , anwylyd Isabella" (You are not strange, dear Isabella)

Glancing back at my father, I found that he was now walking towards us, "Namyn Dwi 'n amgen. Wi mo" (But I am different. Am I not?), I inquired looking at both of them in question. With the looks we received from the others, I knew we were different to them.

Papa bent down next to the both of us and he took my hand in his before answering, "Da 'n amgen" (A good different)

Papa sat down next to me and covered my palm with his larger one making the hum ignited again beneath our fingertips. The connection was instant as our souls linked and I felt his energy merge with mine causing a small tickle in my palm."Rydych yn …" (You are…) he paused to glance at me before nodded towards our hands and I followed his line of sight, watching as he removed his palm to reveal the blossoming of a white and pink sakura in my palm, "arbennig" (special) he finished with a smile.

I too smiled as I looked down at the small flower that now lay in the middle of my palm.

He reached down to gently pick it up before pushing my hair out of my face and then tucking the flower behind my ear and then silently mouthing. "Rwyf wrth fy modd i chi" (I love you)

I parted my lips to answer but no words came out

"I'r sêr a'r lleuad ac yn ôl" (To the stars and the moon and back), he continued but the words of my affection were not being voiced out loud.

I love you too.

…I love…

The dream faded and I woke up.

In my room.

Alone.

-XxX-

I wasn't going to dwell on the fact that I was alone because the longer I did, the more I drove myself insane.

Anyway I was happy because today was Thursday which meant that there was only two more days and I had the weekend and I didn't mind that it meant that I would be working at the diner because I was somewhat excited to be away from school and around more mature people.

The thought was enough to have me smiling although I had to admit that yesterday's memories played a big part on last night's peaceful slumber as well as today's burst of energy.

My mind kept trailing back to the empowered feeling that had rose when I was able to keep up with Edward – a vampire. I do wonder how it would be like if we played a real game where we both tested our strengths but I knew that could never happen. The brooding expression on Edward Cullen's face as he tried to decipher what had just happened told me that he was becoming suspicious. They all were.

I'm sure after my reckless behaviour, they would be watching me.

Even though I could see the danger in all I had done, I couldn't help but feel proud of myself because after spending many years of my life being broken down by their kind, I had fought back yesterday.

It may be a small victory but I would take it.

Knowing that I would under their scrutiny more than usual, I had decided on making an attempt to look more like one of the humans by changing my style into something more typical 21st Century teenage human. This was why I was dressed in comfortable jeans that ere tucked inside the warm brown boots. Instead of a cardigan, I was wearing a beige long sleeved sweater that had a low neck so I wore a black tank top underneath. Along with this was a knitted hat with matching gloves. It was a comfortable look.

As I walked out, I threw my keys in the air and caught them again with smile before I turned to lock the door and practically skip to the truck.

-XxX-

While I transferred my books from my bag and into my locker, Angela caught my eye as she began to walk down dressed in a simple black t-shirt and denim jeans with black boots, her black rimmed glasses slid down her nose but she was quick to push them up. She also wore a parka although hers was a dark green. "Hey" she waved to me.

I smile back with a small wave of my own hand, "Hi"

"You look really nice today" she complimented me and I smiled in gratitude and she looked down to my feet before commenting, "I love your boots"

"Thank you" feeling more confident about what I'd worn. I then looked at the top she was wearing as it had caught my eye before, "I like your t-shirt"

"Thanks" she pulled down at the hem with a wistful expression, "Ben bought it after their concert" a small smile played on her lips as she reminisced about her time with him. She often spoke about Ben in such a caring tone and I hoped that he was worthy of a girl like Angela.

"That was nice of him" I grinned not showing my surprise as I had only just realised that MUSE was a musician.

I did miss music.

Angela crossed her arms before leaning on the lockers next to me, her eyes narrowing as she peered at me through her glasses, "You're in a cheerful mood" she commented.

As I shut the door of my locker, I asked, "Why do you say that?" the mirrored her stance as I too leaned on the lockers but faced her.

"Because you were humming" she inquired.

"I was?" this came as a surprise to me as I hadn't realised I was back to that – a habit that I had learnt from mum as she tended to hum a lot, especially when cooking. She nodded in confirmation and I shrugged answering nonchalantly with an excuse, "It's just a happy day, I guess"

She smirked and an unvoiced question remained in her eyes, "Did the ice not bother you then?" she asked.

After last night's rainfall, an ice cold breeze had followed with led to slippery roads but although it had been harder than usual when I was driving, I hadn't found it as difficult as the rest did. "No. I was fine" I recalled how the other students had fought hard with the gear as they tried to park their cars whereas I had found it and instantly worried about Angela, "Why? Did something happen to you?"

She sighed wearily before answering, "Some trouble on the road but not too bad" she shrugged before I saw her eyes gleam with an unknown excitement, "I still hope it snows" she exclaimed.

I chuckled at her childish enthusiasm before questioning it, "How come?",

"I love White Christmases" she answered happily and I couldn't help but silently agree.

Memories of decorating trees and playing in the snow the coming back into the house for some hot chocolate filled my mind. I could remember our family Christmases to every single detail but it felt like such a long time ago. I hadn't exactly celebrated any Christmas in the past – I don't even know how many years.

"I miss the snow" I whispered softly and looked into the distance but was sidetracked by the burning gaze being sent my way by none other than Edward Cullen.

Angela grew apprehensive as she asked, "Didn't it snow in New York last year?"

I looked away from him and looked towards her as I answered with the first excuse that would come to mind, "I-uh wasn't there for the holidays". Instead of the lying to become easy, it became harder each time one left my lips and I only hated myself even more.

"Well it will definitely snow here" she grinned again.

"I can't wait"

Mischief gleamed in her dark brown eyes again and this time she voiced what she had been shielding, "I heard that Mike asked you to the Winter Dance" it was not phrased as a question but I answered it anyway.

"He did" a grimace took over my expression as I recalled the boy's persistence.

She leaned in before adding, "And I heard that you said no"

"That I did"

From the corner of my eye I glanced at Edward who was pretending to look through his locker. A smirk on his lips as he was turned to the other side but I already knew that he had been listening this whole time. Was he happy that I had not accepted Mike's offer to be his date? Did he not like Mike or was his happiness caused by another reason?

Angela followed my line of sight and it was too late to look away. When she turned back around she had a knowing expression, "Maybe you've got your eye on someone else" she smirked.

I shook my head, standing up straighter as I denied her implications, "No – Ang-" the bell interrupted my words before I could explain myself.

She ignored me and linked her arms with mine as she pulled me along with her before leaning in to whisper, "And I'm sure he's got his eye on you too"

I rolled my eyes but a smile played on my lips when I caught sight of Edward's embarrassed expression as he pretended to be looking through his locker. Closing the door with a happy grin, I walked to my next class with Angela by my side.

A/N: Love for Angela? More Edward/Bella moments coming up very soon. Hope you enjoyed this little tidbit.

Please continue to Read, Review and Recommend. Also I've had a few PMs of people wanting to see the cabin and Bella's clothes so I've put down my new blog where you can find them. Link is on my profile.