Chapter 3
Punishment
I don't pass out. Well, not completely at least. My vision just blears a bit, and I stumble. A hand grasps my upper arm, supporting me and I look up to see Cordesa Sparks, starring at me, a kind of pitying horror reflecting in her gaze, 'because' I remember ' she lost her sister to the games only three years ago.' But, my sister isn't here, so that won't happen to me, I think. Dazed. "Ahem!" Beatilce exclaims loudly "Mayla Bennis?" thats when the horror hits, Mayla is not here...but, I am. hell, not only am I here, but the name called (mine or not) is registered to me, to my blood. A million ideas flash though my head at once, I could run; Faint (not that that would get me far) pretend to be Mayla...take her place (I may not have a choice on the one) or I could do the only realistic option.
"I volunteer" I say, my voice sounding dull and weak, even to me, but Beatilce hears it, as do the peacekeepers lining the sections. I begin to walk forward, and realize Ara's hand is still gripping my arm so tightly it cuts of my circulation. "Ara" I whisper harshly and look back at her, her dark eyes are wide, horrified, as if she'd just witnessed someone shooting me through the temple. "Ara" I say again, and this time her hand drops, her face going blank. I turn sharply, sucking in a thick breathe and head to the middle aisle, where two red haired peacekeepers are waiting.
"Excellent, Excellent!" Beatilce continues, clapping her hands together quickly, practically jumping up and down on the balls of her feet. "Come, come dear!" I make my way up the steep steps to the stage, the peacekeepers following close behind. I don't look at the audience, but I can feel their gaze as heavily as the hand urging me up the stairs. My footsteps, once on the stage, feel like bricks, one foot forward, then the next...And then I'm standing in the middle of the stage, telling Beatilce my name, staring out over the grim looking audience. I search the crowd, and my eyes land on Burnan who looks utterly stunned, he opens his mouth as if to say something and then snaps it shut quickly and breaks his gaze from mine.
"Well, isn't this an exciting day hmmm?" Beatilce asks, this time not bothering to wait for any kind of audience reaction. "The mayors son and a volunteer!" I'd nearly forgotten Fry standing opposite the stage to me, I glance at him to see him staring at me, his mouth pulled in a lazy smirk, he leans to the side slightly, giving off a calm appearance, bored even, but I know better.
"Well, give a round of applause for your District Three Tributes!" Someone claps from the back of the audience, but it dies quickly. "Right then, well why don't you two shake hands...go on now, shake." I turn and take a tentative step towards him, my hands tremble, he meets me half way and with a nod grips my palm, giving it a stiff shake before pulling back, sweeping over my eyes with his own.
Two peacekeepers step towards us then, ushering us to the large iron door at the back of the stage as Beatilce begins reading the rules of the games. I hesitate, I'd never been in the justice building before, but my mom had, in fact, she used to work there.
I step through the doorway, Fry at my heels. He practically lives in this building, since his dads office was just a few floors up, but I get the feeling he suddenly doesn't feel so comfortable in the long silver hallway, lined with pictures of District Three's industrial representations, all things I've seen plenty of times, yet they'd never looked so grand in person as they're portrayed here.
We're lead into separate rooms, directly across from each other, the second I enter mine, the door slams closed behind me. I turn with s start. "Hello?" I call at the door "Whats going on? Hello?" No one answers. I slump and walk over to the over size plush couch at the far end of the small room, made to feel even smaller with the deep violet paint covering the walls and ceiling, the only piece of furniture occupying it. 'So this is what its gonna be like now' I think 'Being led into strange rooms, only to wait there for hours without being told anything.'
Tears sting my eyes, but I can't cry, not yet. After another twenty minutes of sitting in silence, the door cracks open and I bolt up, my dad pokes his head into the room, eyes wary. "Dad!" I throw myself against him, burying my face in his shoulder, he smells like smoke and gasoline, but right now its the must wonderful comforting smell in the world.
"Dicen" he breathes, and his voice cracks. The door opens again, Bolt and Tact bust into the room, both of their identical faces streaked with tears. They open their mouths to say something but dad cuts them off quickly. "Shhhh" he says and ushers for them to come closer. They throw their arms around me, burying their faces in my neck, their bodies shaking with chocked sobs. Their only ten, but they are definitely tall for their age, the top of their heads about noes level compared to me. I pull back slightly to study them, my little brothers who you would never guess are related to me. They both have dark shocks of hair that hang down into their equally dark eyes, with deeply tanned skin. As opposed to my light goldish blonde hair that hangs down to my waste, pale skin and green blue eyes, not to mention that I'm a few inches shorter than average height and they're at least a head taller than most boys in their class.
I realize tears have begun to flood down my cheeks and curse silently, I better clean up before I'm back out in front of the cameras, I can't give them the satisfaction, I think, determined. "Dicen" Bolt says carefully, as if he talks to fast he thinks his voice will break. "You're...I mean, you can win right? You're coming back?" My dad makes a choked noise and spins around to face the wall. I stare at Bolt.
"I...I'll try Bolt, I promise, I'll try." They both shoot me steady looks before nodding, and I think back to a few years before, they'd been so young when we lost mom, too young to really understand what was happening. I wonder if they get it now. "Wheres Mayla?" I ask suddenly, without fully giving myself permission to. Dad opens his mouth "Mayla..." But he's cut off quickly and harshly by a peacekeepers throwing open the door.
"Time!" One says urgently and takes hold of dads arm.
"No, no! Just one more minute. Wait!" Dad exclaims as the peacekeeper hauls him out, herding Bolt and Tact out as he does. "Dicen! You can win alright? You're smart! Just..." But his next words are too muffled by the sound of the door slamming shut to understand, and I stand mystified, staring at the iron door.
Another minute passes before the door opens again and Ara lunges at me, her face contorted with pain and I realize she's crying. I'd never seen Ara cry before. "Dicen you idiot! What were you thinking? You're so stupid Dicen, you're so freaking stupid!" Her voice is full with anger but her face is too hurt for me to truly believe it.
"I..." I begin but she cuts me off. "You signed in as Mayla, didn't you? Didn't you?"
"Ara!"someone snaps, and I look up to see Dekus standing in front of the door, his eyes are rimmed in red but other than that his features are perfectly controlled. "This isn't gonna change anything" She doesn't look at him, but I can tell his words take immediate effect.
"I...I know, I do" Her voice cracks "I'm sorry Dicen" I'd never heard her apologize before either. Dekus moves forward and then both their arms are wrapped around me. "You're gonna win" Ara says "And then you're gonna get the victor's house, and I'm definitely moving in." I let out a noise that was meant to be a snort but came out more as a sob, Dekus's arms tighten.
"Take care of Mayla...you know with her baby and the wedding and everything, okay? And my brothers...I mean...you know what I mean" They both pull back to look at me, and I can see the protests on their mouths, but they seem to think better of it and nod.
"Course Dice" Dekus mumbles. "don't worry about anything." At that moment the door swings open and I throw myself at Dekus one last time.
"I love you guys!" I call desperately as they're shoved out the door. "Tell my family I love them too!"
"Alright Dice! We love you..." The door slams shut, and I crumple to the ground.
I'm not sure how long it takes for the door to open again, but it feels like centuries of sitting crumpled on the ground, my head between my knees. In fact, I don't even notice it does until Burnan brushes my arm, and I look up to see him kneeling next to me, his eyes pained. "Where's Mayla?" I ask in a flat voice. Burnan flinches.
"She's alright Dicen. Thats...thats all you need to know, okay? I'm so sorry..." I bolt to my feet and he blinks, clearly taken aback and rises as well. "I'm going into the Games for her...and you won't tell me? Burnan...I'm going to die!" I didn't realize I was going to say it until it came out, and now I can't take it back. "I'm going to die." My voice became matter of fact and I could see the horror increase in Burnan's face.
"No Dicen, no. You have as good a chance as any..."
"Burnan! No, I don't, and we both know that. I can't fight...can't hunt. I'm gonna die within the first few days and we both know it."I throw my hands up, exasperated "It would be pure luck if I managed to make it past the bloodbath even!"
Burnan's hands clamp down on my arms, his face inches from mine and his eyes intensely boring into me. "No Dicen, you're gonna make it out of this, you know why?" He doesn't wait for a reply "Because Mayla would die if she knew that this happened because of her, and because you're family can't handle another loss. Your dad couldn't take it...they need you, so you better damn well come back."
I was shaking my head rigorously, tears streaming down my face, But I didn't have time to respond, the door opened again, and Burnan pulled me against him, whispering against my ear as he did "I'll see you soon" and then he was being torn away.
"Take care of Mayla!" The door slams.
There are no more visitors. Minutes later we're in a car, I'm seated in between a grim looking Fry and a cheery as ever Beatilce, whose animatedly telling us about how we will simply 'Love love LOVE!' The creme pie as she holds a small palm sized mirror up and examines her face, making strange expressions. Fry rolls his eyes. We're one of the few districts where cars are common, seeing as how we produce them. Its not like they are family owned like in the Capitol, they are mainly used for transporting material used in factories, but I've ridden in them a couple of times. None like this, the interior was covered in violet silk, with black velvet carpets and seats. Its gorgeous, and disgusting.
I stare out the window, catching people's eye as they make their way down the sidewalks, most on their way to work. Many Districts get work off on the day of the Reapings, but not District Three. Electronics are simply too important to the Capitol to put a hold on. The people look back at me steadily, but with a kind of pity, it hurts.
We arrive at the train station minutes later. Fry mumbles "finally" as we climb out of the car, but I can't help but feel like the car ride wasn't long enough. 'My final moments in District Three' I think 'the last time I'll ever see home. No, definitely too fast.'
The train is waiting for us at the gate, the only train that ever uses this particular railway. It goes straight to the Capitol and back to transport the tributes every year. Thats it.
"Shit" Fry breathes, next to me. I look up to see him staring at the train wide eyed, I follow his gaze and suck in a breathe. I'd never see the train before, not up close that is. Its dark silver with long black stripes down the side and well, huge it looks like it could easily be a mile long, though thats probably a bit of an exaggeration. Then again, none of that is what is so intimidating about it. I guess its, it's sheer presence. The looming dark mass that would surely be carrying me to my evident death. 'Yea' I realize glumly 'thats probably it.'
"Well, well, don't you two look starstruck!" Beatilce chirps, appearing next to us seemingly out of thin air, Fry and I jump in surprise which only makes her giggle. "We ready then?" Fry and I glance at each other and for the first time a detect a bit of wariness in his gaze.
"Sure" He says lazily "Why not?" tears sting my eyes, and I silently scold myself. I can cry tonight, in bed, but not here. I will not cry here. I follow Fry onto the train, without a glance back.