Chapter 74
Monroe drove us back to my place. I wanted to start cleaning. Chloe and Pete assured me they would help, and we'd get everything back to how it was.
As I walked into my lavender bedroom, I held back my anger at the mess. How could one person produce this much damage? The contents of my dresser drawers were flung all over, heaps of clothes from my closet were strewn across my carpet, and what used to be my bookshelf was lying on top of everything else. It was like Hurricane Jack had erupted, taking out everything it its path. I opened my 007 cabinet and checked the false bottom. The notebooks hadn't been touched. Good. The cabinet had served its purpose. I put the panel back before anyone walked in. With how Jack had searched everything, buying it had definitely paid off.
Monroe groaned behind me, and I turned while his wide eyes scanned my bedroom. "It looks like Fibber McGee's closet in here." He shook his head slowly and made a low whistle. "I didn't realize how bad it was when we tied Jack up. Damn."
"I can clean it," I replied, placing things back on the shelves as I spoke.
Monroe bent down and scooped up my tousled jewelry box, lingering his fingers on my ruby necklace. "You wear this one a lot," he said.
I nodded. "Yeah, my dad bought that for me. It's my favorite. 'A special stone for a special girl,' he'd said when he gave it to me."
Monroe smiled at the story as he put it away. "You know, that kinda red doesn't bother me."
"Good to know." I wasn't going to risk it and find out.
We worked for a couple of hours and the house seemed to look almost normal. Pete apologized, but said he'd had a long day and was turning in for the night. I couldn't say as I blamed him. He'd had one heck of an adventure.
Back in the living room, I hummed as I put my CDs back on the shelf while Chloe helped with my DVDs.
"He didn't destroy him, Renée," Chloe said.
I glanced up at her. "What?"
"You're humming 'The Sweater Song.'" She shook her head. "It doesn't take Sigmund Freud to analyze that one." My subconscious was on overdrive. Was that what I was humming? Chloe hugged me. "Your Sweater Guy wasn't destroyed. He's okay, Renée."
The words of the song haunted me.
"If you want to destroy my sweater,
Hold this thread as I walk away.
Watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked.
Lying on the floor, lying on the floor,
I've come undone…"
I'd definitely come undone. The events that had unraveled today jeopardized everything I loved and cared about. The thoughts of holding Monroe in my arms as he lay on the floor burned into me once again. What if I hadn't tried my magic trick? I could've lost Monroe forever. I could've lost Chloe, too. Jack might have destroyed them both tonight. He didn't deserve a Zaubertrank and a second chance. He deserved… No, I wasn't going to go there. I would take the high road.
"I'm just glad you're both okay," I said, tears burning my eyes. "Chloe, he had a knife to your throat. It could've easily been you he stabbed tonight. I'm sorry you got wrapped up in this mess."
"I wasn't going to stay at home and let him hurt you, now was I?" She flashed me her model smile, which I was relieved to see. "Besides, I'm not leaving until Sunday morning, so think of it as a chance for us to be together. The universe hates it when we're separated, remember?"
I chuckled, wiping away my tears. "You don't know how much."
Chloe went upstairs after she'd finished what she could for tonight. I worked a bit longer, until the only thing left was the large spot of blood on my light gray and blue carpet. Monroe's blood. The rage began to boil again. I fucking hated Jack Monahan!
Monroe held me tightly. He knew what I was staring at. "I have some good carpet cleaners at the house that should take that right out," he said gently.
I leaned my head against his chest. "Why do people keep trying to kill you?" In the past month Monroe had been mauled by another Blutbad, almost arrowed to death by a Waschbar, nearly pumped full of lead by my grandmother, and now this. Granted, I was getting a list of my brushes with death, too.
He chuckled softly as he stroked my hair. "As long as they don't succeed, I'll be fine."
"If anything had happened to you I don't know what I would do…" The tears returned.
"I'm not going anywhere," was Monroe's reply.
(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)
Chloe had worked on my bookshelves, but my dad's book, My Dark Companions and their Strange Stories was in the wrong place. I sat on the floor, thumbing through it. Just holding the old, leather book in my lap seemed to calm my nerves.
"Whoa, can I see that?" asked Monroe. I handed him the book. "This is like a collector's dream." He leafed through the pages with his eyes wide and that childlike grin of his even wider. Something fell out as he turned toward the back. "Oh, sorry," he muttered, and I reached to retrieve it.
It was an envelope with my name printed across the front in my dad's handwriting. I held it in my hand, turning it over a few times.
"What's that?" Monroe asked.
I pressed a finger to my lip as I stared at the envelope. "Not sure."
"Well, are ya gonna open it?"
"Not sure of that either." I let out a breath. "It's from my dad."
"Oh."
After holding the envelope for what seemed like ages, I closed my eyes briefly and ripped through the top, removing the letter inside. It was quite a few pages. Slowly, I opened it up. The top was dated January 13th of this year, which was one week before I'd moved to Portland.
Pumpkin,
If you're reading this, then my plans have failed as I've feared. I knew if anything ever happened to me, you'd take this book. You've been reading it since you were able to form words. It only makes sense due to what you could see…
I gasped loudly, my heart catching in my throat. What the hell?! I read the first few lines again. So my dad knew what I could see?
"What is it?" Monroe asked eagerly. I held my finger up to him and hurriedly read though to discover more. The first few pages told me what I already knew. I was adopted by the Davenports and that my real parents were the Archers. He went into detail about my mother and her Grimm lineage. It was all there in black and white. My Waldgeist side wasn't mentioned.
The rest of the letter was what I didn't know.
My dad's friendship with the Archers wasn't coincidental. His interaction with my biological parents was assigned to him by 'a Royal,' which had to mean the Royal families were involved.
The seven houses all have strategies to build their sides, and Grimms, like you, play a vital role in their development. One house in particular had made arrangements for the use of your parents.
Who the hell were these Royals and their houses, and what was my dad doing with one? I thought about Madame Dazzles again and her cryptic song lyrics. Prince… Prince? Could that be what she was trying to warn me about? The Royals who wanted my parents? Did she know about me and all this? No, she was as surprised as anyone when I confronted her about the robbery. But there was another link somewhere. I just didn't know what it was yet. I kept reading.
The Archers didn't know about my dad's involvement with this Royal, and as far as they knew, my dad was just a friend by chance. My dad had woven himself into their lives, keeping the Royal in the loop of their relationship and especially when they were with child.
Renée, I didn't personally kill your parents, but I was the reason they died. A month after they had you, something changed. All I can deduce was they intercepted some kind of ulterior plans your parents had. The Royal told me to expect an agent to contact me, requiring all the intel I had on the Archers. I was instructed to turn a blind eye, and the agent would dispose of them, so I wouldn't get my hands dirty. Once contact was made, I was to be paid in full for services rendered plus a sizable bonus. The money swayed me, so instead of protecting your parents, I considered the job over and gave the agent all he needed for a clean assassination.
But after the transaction, my conscious weighed heavily on the situation. I tried calling the authorities, but I was too late. Although I couldn't save them, I saved you. We were babysitting you the night they were killed. I'd made sure of that.
When the agent communicated to the Royal that he hadn't killed you, the Royal immediately contacted me, livid that you were still alive, and interrogated me as to why the assassin couldn't locate you. I convinced him that you were an asset—too young to know anything—and could be easily molded into whatever they desired. He seemed agreeable to my reasoning, and with his blessing, I promised I would keep you in hiding.
My new assignment was to retain you until I was told otherwise. Your parents already had such a trust in my wife and me that they'd wanted us to take you if anything ever happened to them. I drew up the paperwork, changed your last name, and we raised you as our own to keep the cover. The rest of your family assumed you had died, since your body wasn't found, and I didn't correct them on their assumptions. Everything was arranged by the Royal to reserve you for future plans, so I couldn't afford to let anyone know otherwise.
You were to know as little as possible about what you really were. The Royal wanted you a blank slate. Strides were made to prevent you from learning about Wesen, but I know Chloe taught you quite a bit. I had to explain that eliminating all your Wesen friendships would cause suspicion in you, so they let it pass.
The rest of the letter detailed meetings I'd had with this Royal when I was young. It talked about methods they had used to prevent me from learning the Grimm heritage, particularly when it came to Germanic languages. Perhaps they wanted to prevent me from reading my ancestors journals in case I ever found out who I was.
Even after these meetings, you were still able to bypass many of the mental blocks put in place. That only made the Royal desire you more.
Was this why I had trouble with German? What the fuck had they done to me?
Twenty years later, I was contacted by another Royal even more anonymous than the first. He seemed to know everything about my work with the Royal family and of you. Bottom-line, he wanted you and made it apparent that he had enough power to take you if I wouldn't cooperate. Again, money exchanged hands, and I found myself working for two Royals, who both had plans to take you when the time came. Neither knew I remained employed on both sides. The advantage was to gain as much information as I could about their plans for you.
Doubling as a father proved more difficult than I'd anticipated. I became attached to you, as any father would. All I wanted was for you to be healthy and happy. But once I discovered parts of the Royals' plans, I knew it was too grievous of a situation to put my daughter through. I tried to back out of the deals, but I was unable to resign. I was told if I tried anything to interfere, there would be dire consequences. I couldn't risk your mom's life, so I withdrew my protests, bending to their will until I could make other arrangements.
When I was told one of the Royals was ready to move you to Portland, I knew their plans were finally coming together, and so I was able to formulate new tactics.
What?! I dropped the letter in my lap. "They moved me to Portland?"
Monroe, who had practically paced my carpet threadbare, stopped as I spoke. "What is it, Renée?"
I paraphrased the letter, including the part about Portland.
"This can't be right." I shook my head adamantly. "My father… these Royal people… Moving here…" My mind was spinning. "I think my tower just crumbled," I breathed out. If that Gypsy really saw something that day, then this was definitely it. Thank goodness I was already sitting on the floor or I might have fallen down. Nothing made sense. So, my dad knew all about me, what I could see, and what I was. All these secrets and lies. My dad knew everything… Everything!
Monroe took hold of the letter, reading it over. He shook his head slowly when he finally finished.
"Dude, this is…"
"Yeah, exactly," I replied. There weren't any words to describe it. "No wonder Reapers were at my dad's funeral. They probably helped put him there."
The tears welled up behind my eyes. I put my head in my hands and tried to breathe. I needed more than the calm; I needed copious amounts of alcohol.
"Maybe you oughta read the rest," Monroe said gravely. I lifted my head as he held the letter back out to me. I took the papers, faced with the final words from my dad, the double agent.
Jack posed a problem. I tried to tell you he wasn't the right guy for you when we went bird hunting on February 10th, hoping that would make a difference, but you said you two were in love. The Royal didn't want you to have any ties, so decisions were made to end your relationship. The Royal wanted him dead, but I found ulterior methods to ensure your break-up. You had to move to Portland, and Jack was planning on proposing. He told me when we went fishing last August and asked for my consent.
Holy crap, he was going to propose? Whoa… Jack had mentioned bonding with my dad last summer during a fishing trip when we talked at the cemetery. Perhaps that was what he'd meant by that. I shook my head.
Fortunately, once you found out about Jack cheating, you ended it. He didn't cheat. He was compelled to think he had. It was the only way to keep him alive. I'm sorry, Pumpkin, but I had orders, and Jack had to be out of the picture so you'd move to Portland without any reservations.
"He didn't cheat?" My voice was barely a whisper.
Monroe seemed to have already read that part as he gave me a silent nod, pressing his lips tight.
I rummaged through my mental filing cabinets back to when Jack started mentioning his friend, 'Sam.' Crap, it was in August! Two weeks after my birthday, to be exact. We'd had plans to see a movie, and he couldn't go because he was staying late at the bar with 'Sam' to work on new menus. I'd never met this co-worker, which I'd found odd since I knew most everyone Jack worked with.
Just a few months later, we'd had our fight about me moving, and that's when he'd admitted he'd been cheating on me the past year with 'Sam.' That fight was just a couple of weeks before I came here to finalize everything at the bank... and when I'd first met Monroe.
So were they just delusions someone had made Jack remember? I thought about Zaubertrank we'd used tonight. What if it had been something like that… supplanting memories of a year-long affair that never existed? Perhaps there never was a 'Sam' at all. I'd never met her, so was it all in his head?
"Maybe they brainwashed him?" Monroe suggested, breaking the silence. "I mean, it sounds like that's what they were doing to you."
I let out a hard breath. "Whatever. It doesn't matter."
My dad had broken up my relationship, so I would move to Portland for some plan. Nice one, dad. My blood boiled hot in my veins at all the lies. It was entirely too much to digest. I re-read a few lines again. My dad and I had never gone bird hunting a day in my life. I was opposed to hunting birds. It made no sense. I continued to read anyway.
If I had tried to contact you about this, then it would've been my and your mom's death sentence. But your fate rests in my hands, and I can't let them use you the way they intend. I had to do what was necessary to keep you safe. This letter was the only way I could ensure you would know the truth after I was gone. It's possible there's more than this, since they would only tell me so much, but the less you know, the better. Writing this down only puts you at risk, but I couldn't leave you with this burden of guilt on my shoulders. You deserve this much. You deserve to know who you really are and the forces against you.
Please understand that I love you, Pumpkin. I love you like my own. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret letting them know that I saved you. I would have hidden you away from all of it if given a second chance. So don't weep for me. I haven't warranted any of your tears. I only hope you can forgive me someday. Your mom knows none of this, so please don't blame her. All she knows is that your real parents died tragically, and we were blessed to have you since we couldn't have our own children.
The world is changing, and the Seven Houses are making their moves. Those that paid me will do whatever it takes to have you on their side. My split allegiance will undoubtedly be discovered soon, which will only increase the danger. Now that the Royals are actively making plans, the other Royal will be actively searching for you. Again, I'm sorry.
You are smarter than you know, and your abilities are greater than you can imagine. The other Royal families will come after you if they learn what you are, so watch who you confide your secrets to and trust your instincts. If they discover your true nature, they'll send the Reapers, or worse, the Verrat to destroy you.
"The Verrat?' I looked up at Monroe. "What is that?"
"Dude, you haven't heard about the Verrat before?"
I shook my head. "Are they a type of Wesen?"
"No, umm, well, I mean they are, but they're, like, the Royal families' henchmen. They're meant to keep order in the Wesen world. But their version of order is to keep Wesen like us under the thumbs of the Royal families, and those who don't agree…" Monroe sighed. "Well, they don't live long enough to protest. But it's so old world. Well, I mean, I thought it was. I just didn't realize it was here and current." Monroe scratched at his head. "So if your dad had something to do with the Royal families, then the Verrat can't be too far behind, and it's possible it wasn't the Reapers that killed your dad. My guess would be them. If one of those Royal dudes found out your dad was playing both sides or trying to thwart their plans, they'd have the Verrat on him in an instant."
"Could these Verrat have killed one of my biological parents?" That would explain two separate deaths.
"It could be, if the other Royal wanted them dead. The Reaper killing may have just been a failsafe in case your biological mom knew the Verrat was coming. Hell, the Verrat may have done both. Man, I dunno."
I rested my elbow on my knee and held my head in my hand as I read the last paragraph.
Just because I have failed, doesn't mean it's over. I have connections working for me in Portland. Even in death I will keep you safe, and I will always be with you.
Until we meet again,
DAD
I tossed the letter beside me, my brain pounding as the blood surged. So many lies! Dad probably knew about the Waldgeist part, too. My grandmother had said I'd be wanted by more than just Hexenbiests. Perhaps this is what she'd meant. I couldn't hold back the tears, and I let them flow.
"Why is she crying?" Chloe's feet beat down the stairs and she stood by Monroe. "What happened?"
"Yeah, she just... Well, she got some news," Monroe said.
Chloe sat beside me on the floor, taking me in her arms. "What is it? Is it your mom? Talk to me."
I passed her the letter.
"Holy fuck," she replied slowly after she'd read my dad's words. "So, he knew about me, too? Was he Wesen? He didn't smell Wesen, but neither do you."
"I don't know what he was. Apparently I didn't know my dad at all." I wiped away my tears. "But he knew everything, and he died because he tried to help me."
Chloe shot a look toward Monroe. "And the Verrat and the Royal families are a part of this?"
I turned my head back to Chloe. "You knew about the Verrat and these Royals? You've never mentioned any of this before."
Chloe shook her head. "Renée. There are things that even I couldn't share with you. Sure, we could talk history of Wesen, but there are just things that were too complicated, too…" She trailed off, hanging her head down.
I wasn't the only one keeping secrets. She'd been separating more than I ever realized. This hadn't been the first time. I was ignorant of Reapers until Monroe had told me about getting jumped by the ones that had sent a message to Nick. When I'd told Chloe about what had happened to Monroe, she'd said she already knew about them and what they did to Grimms. Then there was the information about forcing a woge. Again, I had to find out from Monroe, but Chloe had known all along. Now there was this. How much more was she hiding?
"You should have told me all the history, Chloe," I said a bit more harshly than I'd meant to.
Her crystal blue eyes met mine. "I was trying to protect you." She pointed at the letter. "Your dad said it best, 'The less you know, the better.'"
"Don't quote him," I spat out.
"Renée, I wasn't sure what you were. I had my suspicions, but if you really were a Grimm, then all this…" She pointed at the letter again. "All these forces were going to be looking for you. But if I'd told you, you'd have tried to find them yourself. You know how you are, Renée. Your reckless side would've put a big 'X' on your back while you looked for answers. I couldn't risk you getting hurt." Chloe was the one crying this time. We held each other on the floor as Monroe remained silently nodding.
I couldn't blame Chloe. She was doing what she thought would protect me. That was her way. She was probably right. My reckless side probably would've found its way into more trouble had I known. But I still deserved to know.
I sat up and lifted myself from the floor. "This is just too much for one day. I'm going to bed, and I'll deal with it all tomorrow."
They both nodded solemnly.
Chloe headed back upstairs, and I went to my bedroom with Monroe following close behind. He closed the door and removed his plaid shirt, laying it neatly on the leather ottoman at the foot of my bed.
I tapped my dad's letter against my open hand. "I'll share this with Nick tomorrow," I muttered as I tucked it away in my dresser drawer. I would hide it in my 007 cabinet later.
"Probably a good idea." Monroe took off his watch. "He needs to know."
We dressed for bed, and I turned off the lights. At least in the dark if I cried again my tears wouldn't show.
"Is there anything I can do?" Monroe asked softly.
"Yeah," I replied, reaching for him. "Tonight I just need to hold you." I removed his t-shirt. "You're my sanity. You're my rock." I kissed him as I spoke. "I need you Monroe. You're my everything and... The words I really want to say just aren't enough. There aren't any words that are enough." Although I tried, I couldn't keep from crying.
"God, Renée. They're enough..." He paused as he cupped my chin in his hands. As we stood by the window, the streetlights beamed through the raindrops on the glass, casting a somber glow on his face. He shook his curly head. "Whatever happens, I'm here for you. And you are always here." He placed my hand to his chest as his heart beat vigorously against my palm.
Monroe's eyes illuminated my dimly-lit bedroom with a crimson tinged hue. He wrapped his arms around me while his strong hands held the small of my back, pulling me close. There were no more words as our bodies spoke for us. I kissed down his chest where my ex had run a knife through him. I kissed his neck and his face. I kissed that man all over. We continued kissing as we tumbled onto my bed, and we did much more than kiss that night. Hopefully the bunnies upstairs didn't hear too much.
Afterwards, I clung to Monroe as he stroked my hair. My head rested on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. That wonderful heartbeat, reminding me he was alive. I hummed 'More Than Words' as the glow of the streetlights danced on the far wall while the rain poured down outside.
"Hold me close don't ever let me go.
More than words
Is all you have to do to make it real.
Then you wouldn't have to say
That you love me.
'Cause I'd already know…"
The words didn't matter. Love was there. What he had done tonight had gone beyond words… beyond anything. God, I didn't want to ever let him go. I loved him so much… Too much. If he had died tonight, then I would've died right along with him.
Maybe it wasn't good to love that deeply. What if it wasn't safe for one person to have that much effect on me? Those people, Royals, Verrat, whatever… They could use that power against me. They were going to kill Jack when he interfered in their plans. What if Monroe interfered, too? Then what? I'd used my abilities without a second thought when it looked like I'd lost Monroe. I would've done anything to save him. But what would I do if those Royals threatened him, or worse, tried to kill him if I didn't give them what they wanted? I reached for my Waldgeist necklace as I closed my eyes. What would I be willing to give up then?
(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)
"Umm," Monroe began, breaking the long silence as we lay in bed. I couldn't sleep and neither could he. "So, now that you know that Jack, umm, didn't really cheat on you..." Monroe trailed off.
"That makes no difference," I argued. "Monroe, he tried to murder you tonight. Whatever the hell I did brought you back, but that psycho could've killed us all. Who cares who he fucked?"
"Okay, okay. I just wanted to make sure."
I propped myself up on my elbow to face him. "Make sure of what?"
"I dunno," he replied. "You loved him for, you know, like, for four years and he was gonna propose. Sure he's an asshole and all, but, I mean, I wanted to make sure..."
"Jesus, Monroe. We were going downhill long before he cheated," I retorted. "Jack cheating was just the push I needed to face reality. Knowing now that it was a plot is upsetting, but honestly my dad did me a favor. I probably would've married him, and then where would I be?" I groaned as I shook my head. "The universe works in its own way. All these events led me to you. And I'm grateful every day." I kissed Monroe and rested my head against his chest.
"What do you see in me?" he asked softly.
I lifted my head up. "Are you fishing for compliments? Because I can oblige."
"No," Monroe chuckled. "But I look nothing like that six-pack dude. We're sorta, like, on opposite ends of the attraction spectrum, you know?"
"I'm very attracted to you, Monroe. You're handsome both inside and out. You're genuine and honest and those are things Jack never was. I overlooked it because I let my heart rule my head, and that was my own mistake." I laid back down on Monroe's chest. "Can we please stop talking about him? Hasn't he done enough damage for one day?"
"Yeah, he has," he sighed. "Don't I know it." He stroked my hair again. "So, umm, what do you think your heart and head are doing, you know, in our situation?"
I took in a breath. Well, that was the million dollar question. After all the thoughts earlier, I didn't know where my head was. My heart still knew; it had known for some time. But he and I were nothing like my stupidity with Jack. I couldn't tell him my heart was still ruling. I wasn't even sure if that was true, anyway. So, I answered the only way I knew how; I'd make a joke.
I grinned up at him. "Instead of one ruling the other, they're trying to share the throne. It's a tight squeeze, since it's a tiny throne."
Monroe chuckled. "Well, at least they're making it work, huh?"
I ran my fingers through his bearded cheek. "I adore you, Monroe."
He leaned up and kissed my forehead, mumbling something in German. Although my German wasn't very good, it sounded like he'd said, 'Ich liebe dich.'
A/N: WHEW! More crux, zenith, pinnacles for you guys!
Okay, so I think I've rewritten this chapter a few hundred times. I still don't know if I like it, or if I've painted myself into a corner on some things. But it is what it is...
So daddy worked for at least two royals. I've been weaving this into the story since we first met his character. He grilled Renée about Monroe, he always did the same thing with her other boyfriends, too. And he's been telling her to listen to her instincts and she's smarter than she knows, so there's why. Ta-da!
Still no real 'L' word, but Monroe kinda mumbled it in German, so that's all you're getting for now. Monroe shows a little lack of self-esteem here, but he should already know he's awesome, right?
Renée is kinda back to questioning the 'L' word again. Can you love too much that it's not safe? Kinda stems back to Aunt Marie telling Nick to break up with Juliette. But don't fret, Renée is too smitten to break up, but she is worried about Monroe's safety for obvious reasons.
Okay. 1 more chapter tonight. Let me know your thoughts on my twists. Does it flow well? Thanks for your comments!