CHAPTER 20 – QUESTIONS WITH NO ANSWERS
Dashboard Confessional - "The Secret's In The Telling"
The signal is subtle
We pass just close enough to touch
No questions, no answers
We know by now to say enough
With only simple words
With only subtle turns
The things we feel alone for one another
A/N: Hope you all had a great holiday.
Oh mine? Well mine was great thanks for asking. I definitely need to get back to the Gym when I get back home.
We had been gaping at each other in what seemed like endless days but had actually it had only been three seconds. His eyes were filled with confusion and what I thought was awe.
"Bella! Bella!" hearing Angela broke us from our trance-like state and Edward gave me a warning glance and I returned it with a silent plead in desperation that he would understand. I wasn't sure but I think he gave a small subtle nod before he jumped up and then ran away – probably ran back to his siblings who were still gawking at me.
They had seen it.
They'd seen me.
This was not good.
Angela fretted as she shoved her way through the large crowd to get to me with a crazed frenzy, "Oh my gosh, Bella are you okay?"
My eyes now locked with Alice's who had composed herself quicker than her family had. I could not help the pleading look that I was now sending to her and for some reason she responded with a small nod as if she understood me.
Angela then blocked her from her view as she bent down in front of me, "God, Bella are you alright?" she gasped out, her eyes were filled with threatening tears while her whole form trembled.
"I-I-I", choking on my words as they trembled from my lips in a shaken stutter and I found that I too was trembling.
"Bella?"
I blinked meeting her eyes again but my numbed thoughts kept me frozen, "I-I don't know" I answered truthfully, trying to get my now tranquilised muscles to work again but I remained stuck to the ground – barricaded in the deadened silence.
Mike, Tyler and Eric were also pushing past the crowd in a hurried rush. Their expressions filled with worry but I didn't have time to appreciate this as Ben distracted me by setting himself next to us and taking out his phone as he asked, "Should we call an ambulance?"
This broke me out from my stupor, "What?" shaking my head in attempts to clear of the fog that clouded my reasoning, "N-n-no ambulance", I begged and looked around for him but only saw the teachers and the students that were filing out of the school after witnessing what had happened.
Looking ahead, I saw the blue van that had crashed onto another parked car and with my sensitive hearing, I could hear Tyler's low moans came from them. "M-maybe for Tyler" I murmured while shuffling across the rough surface of the road feeling the life return into me.
Angela and Ben helped me up when they saw I was pulling myself up. When I stumbled, they were quick to steady me but unfortunately, this did not go unnoticed by one of the teachers who pushed through. "Ms Swan, are you alright?" Mrs Morgan rushed towards me, a crease on her forehead as she frowned before she then placed her frail fingers gripping my shoulders.
"I'm alright" I nodded to assure them taking another shaky step towards the crowd that had formed around my truck, "Tyler's the one we should be worried about", hoping that they would move their attention away from me and onto someone else who really needed help.
"Are you sure, you're okay?" she still didn't look appeased.
Forcing a smile, I turned to all of them as I reassured them, "I'm fine. See" gesturing to my already healing form, "Nothing to worry about", I forced another smile hoping that they couldn't see through the façade.
Just as I was about to go, Angela stepped forward and encased me in an embrace, "I can't believe you did that for me" she whispered while clinging on to me with the fierce hug and I returned it, just happy to know that she was okay.
"It was nothing" I murmured because it really wasn't. She had needed saving more than me at that point as I would have easily healed but she could have died.
Angela pulled back but her finger still gripped my arms, her glassy brown eyes staring back at me with awe, "You could've died"
"But I didn't" smiling at her again hoping it would finally be enough to calm her worries.
She still wouldn't give up as she nodded quickly before adding, "Yeah I know but for a second it looked like that truck was heading straight towards u-"
"I guess Tyler regained control"
Part of me thought of the negative and the consequences that would come of this. The very idea of continuing to run like a coward wasn't exactly appealing but it would be better than waiting for them to find me and take me back. If they did come, they would threaten these humans' lives and I couldn't bring that kind of fate into their lives.
"I still can't believe that you did that" she was still trembling as she pulled me back into her arms again but her grip was even tighter this time.
I hugged her back but then pulled away as I teased her, "Don't worry about it"
"Bella, are you sure that you're okay?" Ben asked, his fingers still grasping the phone, ready for me to just say the word so that he could call for help.
I nodded again and the dizziness rushed back but I forced it away as I answered, "I'm fine. Really"
"What you did for Angela…" he was also going to begin his own rambling so I quickly stopped him before he could continue.
"Ben, it's fine"
Thankfully the loud sirens of the two approaching ambulances interrupted anything else they were going to say and everyone was now sidetracked with the paramedics that were helping a semi-conscious Tyler onto a white stretcher.
He looked half asleep but then he caught my stare and began his own incoherent sentences, "I'm so sorry Bella, I lost control – I'm sorry" although his words fell out in a slur.
I placed a hand on his arm to calm him as I tried to calm him too, "It's not your fault"
"I'm so sorry. One minute I had control and the next I was on ice – it was so fucking scary. Then I saw you and Angela and I was trying to stop…." he continued to speak growing more frantic and I knew that he was not paying attention to anything that I was saying.
"Really Tyler, I'm fine. No harm done" pleading for him to stop worrying over something useless. "You just worry about getting yourself better" I interrupted whatever he was going to spout out next.
He took a few deep breaths before his eyes roamed over me and he asked, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine"
Someone tapped me on my shoulder and I turned to find Angela wrapped in a green blanket, her eyes were now bloodshot and the salty tears now trailed down her cheeks, "B-Bella, you sure you don't want the paramedics to check you?"
I felt bad for causing her this worry as I could easily reveal what I was and maybe that would probably give her a peace of mind but I could not risk putting her in any danger so I wrapped an arm around her instead as I answered her, "No, I'm just a bit tired". I looked back towards Tyler who was now fast asleep and watched the paramedics lock up the ambulance before driving him away to the hospital.
Ben wasn't far behind as he placed a protective hand over Angela's and my shoulder before asking, "Do you want us to drive you home?"
"No. I'll be okay to drive" glancing across the car pack but finding no one there. They had already left and this saddened me for some reason.
Everyone else seemed to have calm down when realising that I was fine but it was only Angela and Ben who were now worried over something useless. Part of me wanted to reveal who I was so that they could understand there was no reason to worry but I had already done enough now. All I could count on now was time.
My answer was till this not good enough to satisfy Angela as she still checked, "Are you sure?"
I took her quivering hands in mine and looked her in the eye, "Please stop worrying" I pleaded with her in desperation, "I promise you that I am fine"
This seemed to have worked slightly as she relented with a small nod and a sniffle, "Text me when you get home so I know you're okay?"
"Okay I will"
We hugged again while Ben mouthed thank you to me over her shoulder and I gave a small nod. Whem we pulled away Angela gave a weak smile as she whispered, "Bye"
Realising that this may be the last time I would see either of them, my reply came out in gruff voice, "Goodbye". Tears were finally threatening to spill as they prickled my eyes.
Ben even bent down to pull me in a hug before murmuring in my ear, "Get home safe, Bella"
When he dropped me I bit my lip to stop the sobs and Angela seemed to notice my distress as she hugged me once again, "I'm so glad you're okay"
The human emotions that were playing about within me intrigued me if not scared me. It was all very disorienting but still I found myself drawn into this life where I had people that cared about me. It had been a while since anyone showed any concern over my well-being, even though it was completely unnecessary.
"Likewise" I whispered and pulled away once more while fighting back the tears that threatened to spill.
I realised that they would not be first to walk away so I decided to be strong for both of us and began to back away from them with a wave of my hand.
This would most likely be the last time that I would see them. My freedom was short-lived but I was grateful to have indulged in it even if it had been for a little while.
As I walked back to my truck, I felt my feet growing heavier and my muscles weigh my down as I dragged myself across the parking lot. I felt drained – both emotionally and physically as the side effects now took over. My first being the raging headache that pounded in my mind.
I was thinking about whether I should just get in the truck and keep driving or if I should go back to the cabin for one last night or if I should just wait until the Cullens revealed what they saw and wait Volturi would come get me and bring me back.
The idea of being back in the dark tower frightened me causing the tremors to rake through my body which was why I was having great difficulty in simply opening the door.
Gritting my teeth, I fought for control over my muscles and willed myself to wrap my fingers around the handle and pull at the door but it was then slammed back shut and I stared coldly at the pale hand that was flat on the door.
I took a deep breath in and tried to bring myself back into character as I turned around to face the expected.
His eyes were darker and I saw no conflict or internal battle, instead I could see the burning determination within them and I knew now was the time when he parted his lips, "I saw that", his voice low as he bowed his head to meet my gaze.
His accusing tone was harsh and unexpected as I coiled back only to hit my back onto the Chevy and watched as sadness flashed in his eyes and his expression softened a little.
Realising that I was probably making myself look guilty by showing fear, I decided to fight for the freedom however useless the battle would be, "Saw what?" my own voice sounded tired and weak but I knew that I would keep on fighting for my freedom until my words would be rendered futile.
"I saw what you did" he hissed through clenched teeth, showing that he was trying to restrain the anger so it didn't scare me like it had.
Still keeping the act of the innocent, I widened my eyes when looking up at him, "What did I do?"
He leaned in and the delicious intoxicating scent overwhelmed me. His warm breath caressed my cheek as he lowered his voice even further, "I saw how you pushed the van"
I tried to clear my foggy mind and find my reasoning as I put myself back into the act with a manic laugh, "How I pushed the van? I don't know what you're talking about" adding another laugh at the end to show him how ridiculous the though was and hoping my hysteria would not show.
I could still smell him…
My laughing only seemed to infuriate him further as he placed his hands on either side on me, his palms slamming onto the truck making it creak. "You did something to it" he snarled and I trembled again with fear of what he would do now that the parking lot was practically deserted.
"No I didn't" feeling angry now because he was able to frighten me, "Tyler gained control of the car. That's what happened"
I took note of how close our lips were and if I just moved an inch closer…
He voiced his growl now and I could hear it rumble in his chest as he snarled, "Stop lying to me" it was crossed between a desperate plead and the rage.
He didn't realise just how much I wanted to tell him…everything.
"What did you do?" he was persistence and I realised that he wouldn't be backing down so I realised I would have to turn the tables.
Placing a hand on my hip, I hoped that my threatening confidence wouldn't waver as I hitched an eyebrow and angrily flipped the interrogation onto him, "If we're going to play this game then I should ask, what did you do?"
His eyes widened a fraction and I gave an internal smirk knowing that I had him when he squirmed, "What do you mean?" his hands had slid off my truck and were now limply on his sides but he still composed his expression into something guarded.
I didn't let him get away when he took a step back because I copied his previous actions and took a confident step forwards and continued to question him, "How did you get over to me so fast?"
His dark pebbled eyes were hard as he avoided my eyes and tried to be nonchalant, "I was standing right next to you"
"No you weren't" I insisted with a fierce tone, taking another step towards to him but this time he didn't move, "I saw you and your family standing across the lot where you always park your car" the words were out before I stop them. Great – now he might think I've been watching him.
He wasn't backing down either as he finally met my eyes and I was taken aback with the desperation in his eyes as he spoke through his clenched teeth, "I was right next to you"
It was my turn to use his words against him, "Stop lying to me"
My words seem to have shaken him as he parted his lips to say something but then fell defeated while a crease formed on his forehead as he stared back at me. The conflict had now returned and I felt the stab at my shield telling me that he was trying to read me again but I wouldn't let it slip.
With the lengthened silence, I decided it as my time to leave but when I turned back around, his cold fingers gripped my wrist and I winced at the tightness of his grip but also at the sudden electric current that hummed against my skin as to where he was touching me.
When I spun back around with a horrified expression, I red his own confusion as he glanced at his fingers around my wrist but then moved his eyes back up to meet mine and the fury returned, "What are you?" instead of using the anger I'd expected, his tone sounded more like he was tired and was simply seeking for an answer as a way to have a peace of mine.
"I don't know what you're talking about" I replied all the while trying to wriggle away from his hold but he didn't loosen his grasp instead he tightened it and I feared that he would use his real strength in order to get answers from me.
"What are you?" he asked again this time, I could hear the rage seep into his words.
Matching his glare, I pulled at my arm but careful not to reveal myself as I groaned for effect before growling, "In pain right now" then I added a wince for emphasis on my words.
He blinked in shock and immediately, he dropped my arm and I rubbed at the now reddened skin but was distracted as I felt the guilt and self-loathing overwhelm me. It took me a moment to realise that these strong feelings were coming from Edward.
Snapping my head up to meet his stare, I found that he had his eyes cast downwards to my arm, with a frown in place before he uttered, "I'm sorry"
I knew he was being sincere but the broken voice made me feel somewhat ill that I replied, "I'm sorry too" but still he wouldn't move as he clenched his fists by his side and his eyes remained on y already healing skin but I wasn't worried as he wouldn't be able to tell. I hope. "Edward?" I called softly.
A small smile played on his lips as he sighed, "Bella"
Taking a step closer to him, I couldn't control what I was doing at the time as I took his hand in mine which surprised him as he whipped his head up and his wide eyes bore into mine in question. "Goodbye" I whispered before turning away from his confusion.
It felt like I was physically being ripped away from him and I knew I shouldn't care but I couldn't help the tears that escaped while I drove further and further away from Edward Cullen.
A/N: Aw…Poor Bella. Confusing feelings and so many questions but no one to answer them. Moving on - Thank you to all my reviews – if any of you are starting any stories or have written any please don't hesitate to recommend. Glad to start 2013 with all of you. Hope you had a great New Years!
Now on to the replies to my awesome reviewers:
Guest – I don't intend on dragging it out any longer than I have already. I promise we are closing in to the truth. Thanks for the help with the other chapters – much appreciated. Hope you had a lovely Christmas holiday and thanks for the reviews.
anonymous432 – Glad you're loving the story. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Multi-Fandom-Lover123 – I did have an awesome holiday, thanks. Hope yours was great too. Glad you enjoyed the chapter and took the time to review. I love Alice's character too. Thanks for your awesome reviews. Love knowing what you think and what you enjoyed.
InLoveJA – As always, thank you for those hawk eyes and for being so attentive. You're really helping me and this story. I know the cliffhanger was mean but it had to be done. Glad you liked this chapter and the story as a whole. Thank you for your reviews. Hope you had a great holiday.
Joda-Eragonsson – Hope you had a great Christmas. Thank you for reviewing and for the love to the chapter. I'll do my best with the updates.
Twilight Rocker – I did have a great Christmas and I hope that you had a great holiday. Hoped you liked this chapter and the next one. Thank you for the love and the review.
IzzyPure – Ever since I read your review, I've been saying quid quid instead of whatever but I probably sound like an idiot. Really cool that you know Latin – always wanted to learn but I got stuck with German and French and a bit of Italian which was okay. I agree with the whole Fanfiction fault for my nocturnalness (that's not a word but I don't care) – I have no willpower when it comes to it. I'm glad you're weird – normal is too boring. :p I bet I could out-weird you.
It's okay to want some peace and be alone. For me it's going to the self in my room and finding solace in reading and writing. You just need to find something to project that anger. I took up boxing to let loose and blow off some steam.
It was really sweet of you to back up your friend because not many people would've done what you did.
I've been kind of going through a rough patch right now with everything else that's going on around me and even though I try to keep out of other people's drama…it seems to be following me. I've got friends who shouldn't really be considered friends with the crap I have to put up with. I'm one of those annoying people that tries to find the good in people and if they prove themselves to be wrong then I just remove them from my lives. Not in a Godfather type of way but in the sense that I just ignore them. People can suck. Big time. But I'm just glad that I'm not on your bad side.
We all want to be free especially from society's constraints (wow this is surprisingly turning deep). If you want to move from where you were then you should hold on to that. I'm planning on moving to somewhere quiet near the sea where I can take up sailing.
Thank you for this review and for loving the chapter. I'm happy that you feel comfortable enough to talk to me. If you need anything else please don't hesitate to PM or send a message through the review.
A/N: Until next time my lovelies…