AN: Well, writing this one was...interesting, to say the least, and not just because of that awesome song that my brother and I love to bounce around to while we sing along! XD
Um, so, I actually ended up looking up weird instrument names to find something to replace the sitar with, and...yeah. This thing is apparently actually real, I even looked up pictures of it. It's actually really pretty looking. Or, well, some of them can be, anyway.
Um, and the place that India got swapped with? If you go on Google and type in "the land of oz," then click the Wikipedia link that it pulls up, off to the side, right at the top, there's an image of a map of Oz and its neighboring countries, and India's replacement is actually on there. It's...um...one of the smaller ones that are sort of "inside" the Dominion of the Nome King, and I think it's either right next to or directly under Phanfasms...Originally, I was going to do Rose Kingdom, but then I was looking at the map just to see my other options, just in case, and this one's name sounded more like it would have that sort of...exoticism that India has to us and to the original Moulin Rouge characters, you know what I mean? So, yeah.
So, anyway, I think that's about it, so enjoy the chapter, and the next chapter will be one of my two favorite songs in the whole movie, the Elephant Love Medley, which I am gonna go start on RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I JUST CAN'T WAIT!
Neither of them really knew how, but they'd ended up in each other's arms in front of the window. "I'm in love," Elphaba breathed. "I'm in love with a young, handsome, talented Margreave." Smile never faltering, Fiyero repeated, "Margreave?" Elphaba nodded. "Mm, not that the title's important, of course," she added. "i'm not a margreave," Fiyero said. Elphaba's face fell. "Not a margreave?" she echoed. He shook his head. "I'm a writer," he explained. Elphaba started to kiss him, then stopped suddenly. "A writer?" Fiyero smiled and nodded. "Yes," he siad, "a writer." She pulled away and took a step back. "No," she muttered.
"Boq—" he began, but she cut him off.
"Boq? Oh, no...No...Oh, Oz, please tell me you're not another one of Boq's so-very-talented, endearingly Beauhemian, yet tragically impovershed artistic prodigies," she said pleadingly. Fiyero shrugged, then flashed another grin as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Well, sure," he said, "I mean...I guess that's one way of putting it." She began to slowly shake her head. "Oh, no! Oz, I am going to strangle that no-good little Munchkin rat!"
Boq looked up at the others. "Um, guys? So, I think there might just possibly, maybe be just one tiny unforseen flaw in our perfectly flawless plan," he said, though it came out as more of a question than a statement.
Elphaba ran for the door with Fiyero not too far behind. "Boq told me—"
"What about the Margreave?!" Elphaba cried as she opened the door. Diggs and the Margreave were there.
"My dear Margreave..."
Elphaba gasped and slammed the door, pressing her back against it. "The Margreave!"
"Margreave?" Fiyero repeated. Once again, the poor boy was utterly lost with everything.
"Hide!" she cried.
The door opened, and Elphaba turned, holding up her robe like wings to hide Fiyero from view as she flashed her most radient smile. "My dear!" Diggs said. "Are you decent for the Margreave? Where were you?"
Elphaba began moving towards the table so Fiyero could get behind it and hide there. "I was, uh...waiting!" she said quickly. Diggs turned to the other man with him. "My dear Magreave, allow me to introduce you to Miss Elphaba," he said. Elphaba turned on her sultry voice. "Sir," she said, "how wonderful of you to take time out of your busy schedule to visit us." She glanced at Fiyero, who was peeking out, and he ducked back behind the table again as the Margreave approached. "The pleasure, I'm sure, will be entirely mine, my dear," he said. Fiyero took another peek out from the side. "I'll leave you two to get better acquanted," Diggs said. "Bye-bye!"
And then he was gone.
The Margreave kissed Elphaba's hand. "A kiss on the hand may be quite continental," he said. She smiled. "But diamonds are a girl's best friend," she finished. She went over to sit on the bed. "After all thos exertions onstage tonight, you must surely need some refreshment, my dear," the Margreave said, reaching for the champagne bottle. "Don't!" Elphaba cried, and he dropped the bottle in surprise as Fiyero ducked. "...You just...love the view?" she amended quickly. Giving her a confusified look, the Margreave nodded. "It's lovely," he said, and began reaching for the bottle again. "Oh!" Elphaba said suddenly. "I feel like dancing!" And she began dancing around the room, making her little twittering bird noises as she did so.
As the Margreave watched with an expression of confusification, almost as if he thought her mad, Fiyero slowly poked his head out just enough to be able to watch, the look on his face not all that different from the Margreave's.
"Um...My dear, are you sure you wouldn't like any champagne?" the Margreave asked, and Fiyero yanked his head back into concealment. "No!" Elphaba exclaimed. The Margreave turned once again to stare at her. She said the first thing that came to mind. "It's a little bit funny..."
"What is?" the Margreave asked, and Fiyero once again poked out to look at her.
"This..."
Feeling, Fiyero mouthed to her.
"Feeling..."
He made an inwards motion.
"Inside..."
She kept her eyes on Fiyero as discreetly as possible so she could see what he was mouthing to her.
"I'm not one of those...who can easily..."
He pretended to hide behind his hands.
"Hide!"
Fiyero accidentally knocked over a candlestick and quickly ducked down as Elphaba latched herself onto the Margreave's legs so he wouldn't turn towards the sound. "I don't have much money!" she said. "But if I did...Oooh, I'd buy a big house where we both could live." She peeked discreetly through the Margreave's legs to look at Fiyero, motioning towards the door.
"I hope you don't mind..."
She stood up as Fiyero made his way quickly and quietly towards the door, watching them.
"I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words..."
She rested her chin on the Margreave's shoulder so she could look directly at Fiyero as she sang.
"...How wonderful life is
Now you're in the world..."
The Margreave's eyes seemed to sparkle as she pulled back to look at him. "That's...lovely," he said. Elphaba gestured behind his back at Fiyero to get out of there already. "It's from Spectacular Spectacular," she said. "I never really understood the meaning of it, though. Not until now, at least." Fiyero began to quietly open the door so he could slip out. "How wonderful life is," she said, "now you're in the world." Fiyero saw the Margreave's manservant standing outside and quickly shut the door. Since it was louder than he'd meant it to be, Elphaba threw herself on the door and began to "sob" loudly while Fiyero tried to hide in silly places like behind a curtain that was near the door, behind a decorative urn, and so on.
"Margreave!" Elphaba said. "Don't play with my emotions! You must know the effect you have on women!" She grabbed him and pulled him down on top of her. "Let's make love!" she cried for the second time that night. "You want to make love, don't you?" She pressed her lips against his, waving Fiyero across the room, her eyes wide with panic as she stared at him. Fiyero ran to the other side of the room, but stopped suddenly. "Oh, I knew you felt the same way!" Elphaba said. "Oh, Margreave!"
Fiyero turned to look at her, and even though she waved him away frantically, he stayed put. "Yes, you're right," she said, "we should wait. Until opening night." And she pushed the Margreave off of herself. Fiyero gave her a small grin, then hid himself again. "Wait," the Margreave said, "what?" Elphaba stood up and smoothed her hair down. "There's a power in you I can't explain," she said, "but it...it frightens me! You should go!" She grabbed his wrist and led him to the door. "But I just got here!" he protested.
"Well, yes," she said, "but...we'll see each other every day at rehearsals. We must wait, though, we must wait until opening night! Now, please, get out!" And she opened the door and pushed him out, then turned to Fiyero and glowered at him as he slowly approached, then stalked up to him. "Do you have any idea...any idea what would have happened if you'd been caught?!" she demanded. She seemed about to say more, but suddenly got breathless. Her skin seemed to lose a shade or two of color, becoming more minty than emerald, and she passed out, falling into Fiyero's arms as he caught her in surprise. "E-Elphaba?" he said. "Oh...geez...Sweet Oz...Elphaba...?" Not knowing what to do, he began to gently shake her in attempt to revive her.
"Let's have a little peek, now, shall we?" Diggs asked the empty air as he trained his telescope on the Elephant's window. Seeing Fiyero shaking Elphaba, he misinterpreted it. "Perfect!"
Fiyero hoisted Elphaba up a bit and looked around awkwardly, unsure of how to go about things. What exactly was one supposed to do when the infamous star of the Moulin Verte passed out in your arms with no warning inside a giant elephant's head in the middle of the night? Just...put her in bed?
...Actually...that didn't sound like such a bad idea...
So he managed to drag her over to the bed and lay her down. Meanwhile, Boq and the others had apparently somehow managed to make their way inside, because they peeked out from behind a wall. Fiyero ended up having to sort of climb on top of Elphaba in order to get her into a comfortable position on the bed. Just then, the door opened, and the Margreave entered. "I'm terribly sorry, my dear, but I just realized that I forgot my ha—"
Fiyero froze like a deer in torchlight.
"Foul play?" the Margreave asked nobody in particular.
"She...I...Um..."
Thankfully, Elphaba began coming to just then. "Oh," she said, putting a hand on her forehead. "Oh...Margreave..."
"It's a little bit funny," he said, "this feeling inside."
Catching on quickly, Fiyero shook his head. "No, I—"
"Beautifully spoken, Margreave," Elphaba cut in. "Allow me to introduce the writer of the show."
"The writer?"
"Yes. We were rehearsing."
She stood, sort of knocking Fiyero to the side a bit as she did so. The Margreave let out an odd sort of giggle.
"You expect me to believe that scantily clad, in the arms of another man, in the middle of the night, inside an elephant, you were rehearsing?"
Boq jumped out from his hiding place. "How's rehearsal going?!" he shouted cheerfully as the others emerged from behind him. "Shall we take it from the top, then, Elphie?" Dryxen made his way over to the piano, saying something about how he hoped it was in tune. "Sorry we're late," the Quadling said. Asta held a glass out. "Anyone like a drink?" he asked nobody specific.
"Oh, goodness gracious..." Diggs muttered.
"When I said those words to you earlier," Elphaba was saying to the Margreave, "it filled me with inspiration, you see, and then I realized how much work there is to do before tomorrow, so I called everyone together for an emergency rehearsal." The Margreave looked around. "In that case, where exactly is Diggs?" he asked. Elphaba laughed and made a vague waving motion with her hand. "Oh, Oscar can't be bothered with—"
"My dear Margreave, I'm so sorry!" Diggs exclaimed as he burst into the room. Turning to him, Elphaba went with it as well as any professional actress would have. "Oh, Oscar, you're here, fantastic!" she cried. "It's all right, I've explained everything about the emergency rehearsal," she said, giving him a meaningful look. "Emergency rehearsal?"
"Yes, remember? To incorporate the Margreave's artistic idea?"
"Yes, well, I'm sure Tibbett will be delighted to—"
"Tibbett left!" Boq announced. Diggs' eyebrows shot up. "He what?"
"Oscar, the cat's out of the bag!" Elphaba said. "Don't worry, though, the Margreave's a big fan of our new writer's work! That's why he's so keen to invest." Another meaningful look.
"Invest?" He looked at the Margreave. "Invest! Oh, well, yes, invest! You can hardly blame me for trying to hide our..."
"Fiyero," the boy in question said helpfully. Diggs smiled. "Fiyero away," he finished. "I'm way ahead of you, Diggs," the Margreave said. Diggs nodded. "So, would you...like to go to my office for the paperwork?" he asked.
"What's the story?"
"The story?"
"If I'm to invest, I'll need to know the story."
"Oh, yes, well...um...Boq, tell him the story, hm?"
All eyes went to the Munchkin. "Oh," he said, "um...yes...well...the story's about...it's...it's about..."
"It's about love!" Fiyero blurted out. The eyes moved from the Munchkin to the Vinkun. The Margreave lifted an eyebrow, clearly rather unimpressed. "Love?" he repeated. Fiyero met Elphaba's eyes. "Yes," he said. "It's about love...overcoming all obstacles."
"And it's set in Ugabu!" Boq said enthusastically.
This earned him a funny look from Fiyero. The Margreave looked at Diggs. "Ugabu?" he asked. "It's not set in Ugabu," Diggs said. Fiyero looked around the room, trying to come p with an idea. Then he saw it; a painting of a beautiful landscape with a little brass plate screwed onto the frame with the words Kingdom of Dreams engraved on it. "Dreams!" he shouted. "It's set in the Kingdom of Dreams!" He looked at Elphaba. "A-And there's a courtesan," he added. "The most beautiful courtesan in the world." He gaze shifted to the Margreave. "But her kingdom is invaded by an evil wizard! Uh...well...By...By wizard, I don't mean an actual wizard who can, you know, like, do magic and stuff, just, like...people call him a wizard, but he's not actually, and...um, well, anyway, in order to save her kingdom, the courtesan has to seduce the wizard! But on the night of the seduction, she mistakes a penniless...p-penniless...um..."
He looked around some more, and this time, his eyes landed on a zither and grabbed it. "Penniless zither player!" he exclaimed. "She mistakes a penniless zither player for the wizard, and she falls in love with him! He wasn't trying to trick or anything, see, it's just that he was dressed as a wizard because he was...he was in a play." The Quadling ran over and took the zither from Fiyero. "I will play the penniless tango-dancing zither player!" he declared. "I sing like an angel...but dance like a devil!"
The Margreave nodded. "And what happens after that?" he asked.
"Well," Fiyero said, "the penniless zither player and the courtesan, you see...they have to hide their love from the wizard, right?"
"And the zither player's zither is magical!" Dryxen shouted suddenly, throwing his arms out into the air, his eyes wide and the look on his face like one you would see on an overly-excited child's. Boq stepped forward. "I'll play the magical zither!" he volunteered enthusiastically. He placed himself behind the zither to make it look sort of like his head was on the end of it. He played a few notes and made some funny little noises. "You are beautiful!" he said to Elphaba. He made his noises again. "You are ugly!" he told Diggs. Then he turned his attention on the Margreave. "You are—"
Everybody jumped towards him and slapped their hands over his mouth before he could finish that sentence.
"Yes, and the zither gives them away!" the Margreave exclaimed, and everyone shouted in agreement. "Tell him about the can-can!" Asta shouted. Fiyero nodded. "It's a...tantric can-can, it's—"
"It's a neurotic, spectacular scene that captures the thrusting, violent, vibrant, world Beauhemian spirit that this whole production embodies, Margreave!" Diggs said. The Margreave frowned. "What do you mean by that?" he asked. Everyone looked at each other, then got into a clump together.
"Spectacular Spectacular!" Diggs exclaimed. "No words in the vernacular can describe this great event! You'll be dumb with wonderment. Returns are fixed at ten percent. You must agree, that's excellent. And on top of your fee..."
"You'll be involved artistically...
"So exciting, the audience will stomp and cheer,
So delighting, it will run for fifty years!
So exciting, the audience will stomp and cheer,
So delighting, it will run for fifty years!"
"Elephants!"
"Beauhemians!"
"Dreamers..."
"And courtesans!"
"Acrobats!"
"And juggling bears!"
"Exotic girls!"
"Fire eaters!
Muscle men, contortionists,
Intrigue, danger,"
"And romance!"
"Electric lights, machinery"
"Run with electricity!"
"So exciting, the audience will stomp and cheer,
So delighting, it will run for fifty years!
So exciting, the audience will stomp and cheer,
So delighting, it will run for fifty years!
"Spectacular Spectacular,
No words in the vernacular
Can describe this great event,
You'll be dumb with wonderment!
"The hills are alive...
With the sound of music...
"So exciting, the audience will stomp and cheer,
So delighting, it will run for fifty years!
So exciting, the audience will stomp and cheer,
So delighting, it will run for fifty years!"
Everybody struck a pose.
"Yes," the Margreave said, "but what happens in the end?" Everybody looked at each other, then set up an impromptu little "stage" to act out the rest of the story. Fiyero stepped out in front of the makeshift curtain and cleared his throat. The curtain opened and a spotlight was trained on the Quadling and Elphaba, who were on the "stage" together.
"The courtesan and zither man
Are pulled apart by an evil plan..."
"But in the end, she hears his song..."
"...And their love is just too strong..."
"It's a little bit funny,
This feeling inside..."
There was a pause.
"So exciting, the audience will stomp and cheer,
So delighting, it will run for fifty years!"
"The zither player's secret song
Helps her flee the evil one.
Though the tyrant rants and rails,
It is all to no avail!"
"I am the evil wizard!" Diggs shouted. "You will not escape!"
"Oh, Oscar," Elphaba said, "no one could play him like you could!"
"No one's going to."
"So exciting, we'll make them laugh, we'll make them cry,
So delighting—"
"And in the end, should someone die?"
Everyone paused and exchanged glances.
"So exciting, the audience will stomp and cheer,
So delighting, it will run for fifty years!"
As everyone posed, the Margreave's manservant walked in, and Boq leapt on him to make himself taller for his pose.
"Generally, I like it."
Everyone cheered.
AN: Oh, btw, I DISCLAIM!