Chapter 107 - She Sells Sanctuary
The lights onboard are dimmed, everything is powered down as the Normandy quietly rests in its customary safe harbor, the docking bay D24 on the Citadel. While the Commander is currently away from the Normandy, leaving the command of the ship to her asari XO, the crew have not been given a shore leave. They have been ordered to remain on the ship and get as much rest as they can, Shepard clearly expecting heavy action soon judging by all the signs.
The only other person away from the ship is Chloe Michel, the doctor requesting permission to visit the Huerta Memorial and restock on some of the more specific supplies suited for dextros, seeing that Garrus and Tali have been Dr. Michel's only serious patients thus far. This leaves Garrus alone in the mostly dark medbay, lying on his bed and thinking, slightly disturbed by the strange silence that rules the ship, unused to being able to hear the sound of his own beating heart.
Just then, there is a slight rustle on the nearby bed, and he immediately turns his head towards his fellow medbay inhabitant, trying to spot any movement. For a while Tali's shape remains still and Garrus is about to turn back away, but then there is just a barely perceptible shuffle of the sheets as the quarian readjusts her position to make herself a bit more comfortable, her anesthetics starting to fade.
"Tali? You're awake?" he decides to ask, hearing her move around more and more frequently.
There is a sharp intake of breath in reply. "...Keelah, you scared me. I thought I was alone here... I presume in the medbay?"
"Yeah. Dr. Michel spent quite a while working on your legs. Do you feel anything, are you in pain?"
"No... not in pain... but I feel as if I shouldn't try walking just yet. Just a little sore all over. But why are you here too, Garrus? When did you get injured?"
"What, I'm outraged you don't even remember my heroic leap to your defense!" Garrus laughs. "Didn't quite turn out as well as I intended, got myself shot a few times, nothing to worry about. And it worked in a way, I suppose, I gave them another target to aim at, else they might have kept shooting at you."
"That would have been bad," Tali mutters at herself. "Thanks."
"Well, I... do have a vested interest in keeping a certain quarian alive," Garrus says. "I must say, her propensity at getting shot is wreaking havoc with a certain turian's nerves."
"Says the turian who loves to catch rockets with his face," Tali retorts playfully.
"Said turian's fondness for that pastime is greatly exaggerated," Garrus chuckles in reply.
"Anyway, Garrus, where are we and why is the ship all powered down? I thought Shepard wanted to go to Thessia right after we got that Dr. Bryson to safety... and I assume we did manage that?"
"We managed that, and we have also been to Thessia, already," Garrus replies quietly, his voice dejected. Tali patiently waits for him to elaborate. "We... didn't get the Catalyst, Tali. Cerberus snatched it from under our noses. And on top of all that, the asari had to abandon their homeworld. In short... we failed."
"But... but... but that's impossible!" Tali protests vehemently. "It's Shepard! And Shepard does not fail! You can't be serious!"
"I'm sorry, Tali. I wish that was true," Garrus returns sadly. "None of us are infallible, not even Shepard. And we should not expect as much of her, either."
"I... I just... I know, but I did not expect to... ever hear such words," Tali struggles to speak, clearly shocked. "And without the Catalyst... Keelah, this is it, isn't it? The galaxy is doomed, all we have achieved will be for nothing!"
"Perhaps not. Shepard is putting up a brave front, insisting she has a plan. We're back on the Citadel, and the Commander is trying to track down Operative Lawson. She believes Miranda can lead us to where Cerberus have taken the Catalyst and we can then get it back. Or something like that."
"Do you think it will work?" Tali asks hesitantly.
"I realize that it might seem like grasping at straws, but... I believe in Shepard. I trust that Commander will get it done," Garrus says honestly. "Just because she suffered one defeat, it has not shaken my trust in her."
"I agree..." Tali speaks, having thought a while in silence. "But... my belief in Shepard has been so complete, that I realize that I no longer even allowed for an eventuality that she might fail. This... this is the first time when I truly realize that there is a very realistic chance that we might lose this war and the Reapers will annihilate us all. And... it makes me... very, very afraid."
Garrus is at her side immediately, taking Tali's hands in his comfortingly. "I am not completely immune to fear myself," he confesses eventually. "But I will not let this fear stop me. Yes, I fear the Reapers, but above all, I am angry at them, angry that they threaten the future that I envision for myself... and for someone very special in my life. It is for this vision of future that I fight, and I will overcome any fears to secure it."
"I... have been fighting with a... very similar vision of future in my own mind," Tali says quietly, squeezing Garrus' hands in return as she speaks. "And they will not take it from me... from us. I won't allow it..." she whispers.
Lia'Vael nar Ulnay lowers the pilot's seat as far back as it can stretch, stuffing a soft pillow under her head, preferring to sleep in the cockpit rather than the small space on the crew deck assigned to her. The seat is far more comfortable than any bed she has seen over many years, the young quarian used to sleep in many awkward places whether on the Ulnay or during her Pilgrimage, often while sitting hunched, or even more uncomfortable positions.
Her current arrangement provides the quarian with more comforts than she has believed possible, even if she by now has to grown used to the idea of one day returning to an already settled homeworld, where she and the rest of her people will no longer need to live in conditions where private space is almost an alien concept, the Ulnay in particular always packed so tight that Lia'Vael has never understood how her fellow quarians have been able to maintain functioning families, or procreate in such conditions. Of course, returning home to Rannoch right now seems like a very remote possibility...
"EDI?" she stifles a yawn, turning to her co-pilot, the synthetic platform sitting motionlessly in the seat next to hers. "What did you say our chances of success were before we went to Thessia?"
"The calculated chances to avoid the cycle of galactic extinction were roughly at 0.075%," EDI replies emotionlessly.
"And after Thessia?" Lia asks.
"I would put the estimation of success at 0.025%."
"So... it actually hasn't gotten much worse, has it?"
"I suppose you could make that claim, considering how abysmal our chances were to begin with," EDI says.
Lia'Vael stays silent for a while, thinking as sleepy tiredness slowly starts to overcome her. "EDI... do you believe we will win this war?" she asks quietly.
"I believe that there is a very small statistical probability of victory. There are only very few scenarios that I can come up with that would not leave even the tiniest probabilities for success."
"You know what... an organic would say that there are no completely hopeless situations and that there is always hope..." Lia says. "EDI, I'm starting to think... maybe we aren't so different from synthetics after all..."
"The geth would be very pleased to hear a quarian express such sentiment," EDI remarks.
"I suppose," Lia'Vael mutters, slapping the pillow into a comfy shape before rolling on her side and settling in. "Going to try sleeping for a bit, EDI. Goodnight!"
EDI's voice is softer than usual when she replies. "Goodnight, Lia'Vael nar Ulnay."
The streams of intel on the Shadow Broker terminals blink and flash before her eyes, but as Liara T'Soni sits in front of the numerous data consoles, her gaze seems to fall right through the screens, focused at something on the wall as the asari finds herself deep in depressing thoughts. The images of the destruction on Thessia are impossible to forget, as are the revelations about the role of Protheans in the ascension of her species. But Shepard has been there for her again through these terrible times, and her presence has made everything at least somewhat better. The gratitude and love she feels towards Morgan is immeasurable, which in turn makes her decision to withhold… certain truths from Shepard all the more painful for her.
And in the Temple of Athame, that truth had already began to leave her lips, she was about to share it with her beloved Shepard, but the interruption had been almost cynically predictable, robbing her of this moment of openness. Now, she wonders what had even prompted her to try and divulge the truth so spontaneously.
It must have been my selfishness, urging me to speak, she decides. I could not bear to die there, under the rubble, with the added weight of this secret hanging over me. But… how would she have felt if I told her that in roughly a year she would have become a father, knowing that it would never come to pass, that we would both be dead in less than a day? It would only compound her agony… I should have been stronger, should not fall to this temptation again, I must endure… just for a while longer, because it will all be over soon, I can feel it.
I want to be honest with her, I so desperately wish that I could, but the truth… can be so dangerous, can sometimes cause such pain, Liara thinks, feeling torn by the conflicting emotions ripping at her very core, fear and anxiety making her shiver in her seat. There is a chance that she might… not forgive me for keeping this a secret, but… I cannot let that stop me from doing what I can to save her. If I tell her the truth, she will not involve me with the ground team, and I will not be there with her in the decisive battles, I won't be there to protect her… And if I am there, and she knows the truth, her focus won't be on the enemy or on doing what needs to be done to save the galaxy, her focus will be on me and making sure that the baby comes to no harm… this distraction could mean her downfall, and I cannot let that happen!
She said she can't do this without me by her side, so that is where I will remain... and the consequences... will be mine to deal with, later. The decisive battles are approaching swiftly… I won't need to keep this secret for much longer… thank the goddess. Tears are flowing in earnest by now, and with a trembling hand the asari reaches for a handkerchief. Why did I even do something as… insane as this, ill-timed, spontaneous, dangerous, without even consulting with Morgan? Deep inside, though, she knows the answer and admits it to herself. Because I was selfish, so damn selfish… I succumbed to fear that she might die, and I would be left all alone, with nothing to remember my love by… I saw myself back on Ilium, my life crumbling to pieces, and I wanted at least something to anchor myself to and not to be swept away by my despair… to at least have her child, our child… but I shouldn't have done it, not like that, it was a mist-
"No!" the asari suddenly cries out, immediately startled by her own exclamation, and she looks around in fear to see if anyone has overheard her, but there is only the soft buzz of the consoles. No, this child will be many things, all of them great and wonderful, but I will never think of her as a mistake, never! I wanted her. I wanted her so badly with Morgan. And I will endure this torment to have her, and I will do all I can to earn Shepard's forgiveness later… and I will not stop until she forgives me. And… perhaps I can begin amends by honoring another promise, given many months ago…
Liara shakes herself back to reality and leans slightly forward, bringing up the holographic interface of one of the many consoles. 'Dear Feron,' she begins to type so quickly that her fingers almost become like a blur. 'Please respond as soon as you are able. I have something of extreme importance to discuss with you. May the goddess keep you safe. L.'
"When the Commander told us to spend these few hours to relax, I think she meant sleeping instead of this," Lieutenant Steve Cortez grumbles, sitting at the poker table in the Normandy's lounge, reluctant hostage in Lieutenant Vega and Engineer Donnelly's diabolic plans to indulge in their vice of poker.
"Nah, she meant that we should do something that relaxes us and what's more relaxing than poker?" Vega grins, taking a swig from his beer bottle and giving a satisfied look to the pile of chips in front of him, then a mocking smirk at Steve's rapidly dwindling stacks.
"I quite agree with the Lieutenant," Donnelly nods, delicately and snobbishly nursing his glass of Lagavulin single malt, and scowling at the rate with which Vega goes through the beer supplies. "Though I suppose it's only relaxing when you're winning," he adds, his pile of chips rivaling Vega's.
"At least I'll be cleaned out soon enough. Then I can escape to the armory and grab some much needed rest," Cortez sighs again, as Vega deals them new cards.
"Your whining is kinda killing my mojo, hombre," James rolls his eyes.
"I was thinking about ways to make this more interesting, like inviting some of the girls and making this a game of strip poker," Donnelly adds sagely. "Alas, none of them seemed to be interested. A real shame, the women on this ship are all very easy on the eye, wouldn't you say so, Lieutenant?"
"Huh? Oh... right, sure, Donnelly," James agrees, having dealt everyone in and the betting commences.
"I think we should hold a Miss Normandy 2186 contest, wouldn't that be fun?" Donnelly continues his daydreaming. "Who'd you give your vote to, Vega?"
"Hmmm. Tough call," James looks indecisive. "I'd probably have to vote for my commanding officer, no? Lola's too intimidating to say no to her."
"I'm trying to imagine Commander Shepard in a bathing suit..." Donnelly closes his eyes, summoning the mental image. "Heh... so strange... but not bad, not bad at all! Doesn't really have the model figure, really, but she could sway anyone she wanted just by her force of personality."
"Or by threats of violence, if that failed," Vega adds with a chuckle.
"Now Dr. T'Soni... I'm really tempted to give my vote to her," Kenneth muses. "Of course, the Commander might skin me alive if I did that. Hey, if synthetics could enter, I know who I would support! Oh boy, that platform of EDI's... so top-heavy with all that padding!"
Cortez gives yet another deep sigh. "By the end of this evening, I think I'll end up being heterosexual," he grumbles.
"Why, because the women of the Normandy are so hot?" Kenneth asks.
"No because the men of the Normandy are so stupid that they make me ashamed of my own gender," Cortez retorts, Donnelly rolling his eyes in reply.
"Just ignore him, Donnelly, Steve's just been born without sense of humor and I haven't been able to cure him," James laughs. "Anyway, what do you have?"
"Three pairs," Ken Donnelly replies casually, throwing his cards on the table. "And what about those quarians, eh? That mesmerizing sway of the hips as they walk past you in the halls, that alone can turn a man's head."
"Yeah, I guess, though don't stare too much or Garrus will recalibrate your nose with his fists," Vega adds pointedly, before throwing his cards on the table. "Five kings! What do you have, Esteban?"
"Nothing... and that's cleaned me out," Cortez throws his cards on the table, looking disgusted. "I swear, there's something wrong with the deck you're using, but I can't quite put a finger on what it is."
"I guess that just leaves us, Lieutenant Vega," Donnelly chuckles. "Oh, and then there's that young Comm Specialist, Traynor. She's certainly very fetching... tried to talk her into the strip poker, but Gabby reminded me I was barking up the wrong tree."
"Gabby, that the cutie up in the engineering?" James asks completely innocently. "Think I'd give my vote to her. Caught her at the breakfast table earlier and had a nice chat... figure I've got a good chance."
"What?" Donnelly's eyes widen in surprise, as he looks a little outraged. "Lieutenant Vega, Gabby's my gal, I suggest you leave her alone or we will have a problem!"
"Your gal? Well, she didn't seem to know anything about that when we talked, compadre," James shrugs. "In fact, she was quite obvious about being... available."
"Not for much longer, mate," Kenneth jabs an accusing finger at Vega as he quickly gets up from the table and departs. "I'm going to take care of this, and after that you won't be coming near Gabby, is that clear?"
"Whatever, amigo, had no idea about your intentions. You certainly acted like you had plans to woo every other lady on the ship apart from her," Vega remarks as Donnelly runs for the door, not stopping to reply to James.
"I can't believe that plan worked," Cortez bursts out in laughter after Donnelly has departed. "Color me impressed, Mr. Vega. You are a man of many talents, acting included."
"Thank you, Mr. Cortez," Vega mock-bows. "But before you begin to think too highly of me, please, be aware that gratitude of the ladies of the Normandy was my main motivation for going along with this charade..."
"Shepard, I can't say I approve of what the Alliance have done to this ship," Miranda shakes her head, having stepped onboard the Normandy for the first time since her exodus on Omega many months before.
"Well, at least they know where to place the ship's armory, unlike Cerberus," Shepard chuckles. Finding Miranda had proven to be mercifully simple. Tevos had done well, and a call from Miranda had already been waiting for Morgan on a secure connection at the Spectre terminals. A set of coordinates had been provided to locate Lawson's temporary lair, and then with a little bit of persuasion from Shepard's side, her former XO had decided to accompany Shepard to the Normandy.
"I shudder to think what they have done to my old quarters," Miranda grumbles. "Could we stop there for just a moment?"
"Err... perhaps not at this time," Shepard says a little uncomfortably, leading Lawson into the War Room where a tired looking Liara is already waiting for them, browsing the official data streams from the allied fleets. "We've slightly repurposed it ourselves..."
"Dr. T'Soni," Miranda greets the asari, not entirely warmly, more businesslike.
"Miss Lawson," Liara returns in just as cool tone.
"Right, Miranda, let's get right down to the business," Shepard starts, impatiently. "Circumstances have changed quite dramatically, and Cerberus is in possession of intel that could determine the fate of the galaxy. We need to track them down, and for that, we need all the information we can get. Please, let's hear what you've discovered."
"It's really quite simple, Shepard. I have been pulling the ID's of all the dead Cerberus soldiers on the Citadel and trying to see if their last known locations will provide a clue, attempting to cross-reference this evidence with other sources, hoping that it might lead me to a Cerberus facility," Miranda explains. "Remember, Shepard, I told you that they are rapidly upgrading their implants to allow them greater control over the recipient. This leads me to believe that the site where they are outfitted with the implants is also the same site where these new implants are being developed."
"I would not jump to such conclusions, but any major facility of Cerberus would likely provide a further lead to track down what we are after," Liara nods, agreeing. "This could be a valuable lead, Miranda. Please, continue."
"From a sample size of nearly three hundred... you were extremely efficient on the Citadel, Shepard," Miranda starts, transferring the data from her omni-tool to the large screens of the War Room in front of them.
"I think most of that was probably Aria's handiwork," Morgan chuckles in reply.
"Anyway, this is what I have," Miranda continues, a little impatient at Shepard's interruption. "12% of the deceased had ties to Elysium. 21% from Horizon, 22% from Terra Nova, 29% Benning."
"Benning was just a smash and grab op, wasn't it?" Morgan ponders, feeling a dull ache throbbing through her body from the mere mention of Elysium. "They loaded all the people onto their carriers and shipped them elsewhere, right? Think we can discount it as a potential location of their base."
"I agree, Shepard," Miranda nods. "I propose that we examine the other three options, because I have no other conclusive hard data."
"Well... maybe we can narrow it down even more," Shepard says, activating the comms. "Sam? Any luck with your findings? Hmm, oh yeah? I see... could you join us in the War Room, please? Okay."
Specialist Samantha Traynor arrives moments later, a little breathless. "Easy there, Sam, calm down and explain to Miranda and Liara just what you have been doing," Shepard tells her encouragingly.
"Y-yes, of course, ma'am," Traynor stutters a little to begin with, but then seems to calm down once she starts to speak. "I told Commander Shepard that we managed to track the Cerberus ships through the relay and I have been working on extrapolating their destination. However, I lost their signal too soon for the data to be considered accurate and reliable."
"Well, you said you had something, anyway," Shepard tries, feeling a little discouraged.
"Wait, where did you lose the signal?" Miranda asks suddenly.
"In the Iera System," Traynor replies. "And I don't think that I simply lost the signal, it seemed as if it was actively blocked, which made little sense because there's nothing of note in that system!"
"Except Sanctuary," Miranda says quietly, looking back at the chart that lists 'Horizon 21%'. "If there is a Cerberus facility on Horizon, yes, they would make sure to block any outgoing communications."
"Goddess... Shepard, I told several people on the Citadel to go there!" Liara exclaims, looking absolutely crestfallen.
"...so did I when the Citadel was overflowing with the refugees..." Morgan swallows heavily, icy cold sensation at the pit of her stomach.
Samantha Traynor also looks devastated. "Horizon... is... was my home," she whispers, before pulling herself together and looking at Shepard. "Shall I inform EDI that we are departing for Horizon?"
"Yes, immediately," Shepard says, then turning towards Miranda. "So, Miri... ready to shoot some of your former coworkers while fighting at my side?"
"Without hesitation, Shepard," Miranda replies grimly. "Just promise one thing to me. My father... leave him to me..."