CHAPTER 30 - CONFLICTED
Thirty Seconds To Mars - The Kill
Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
What if I wanted to fight
Beg for the rest of my life
What would you do?
You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for?
I'm not running from you (from you)
A/N: Thank you so so so so so so so so….(times infinite) for the amazing reviews. Hope you like this tidbit update.
CPOV
With the fury of emotions that rushed through me, all at once, I knew that no words could even comprehend what I was feeling as I continued to listen to Isabella's sad filled words.
Charlie Swan, a man of strength and greatness. He was protective of his family and loved them fiercely and I could see that he would be ready to lay his life on the line for his family. He had been wary at first, being surrounded by vampires unnerved him but he slowly grew to trust them, especially me. We talked of various things and I regarded him as being not only a friend but a brother.
Renee Swan, a woman of compassion and grace. She reminded me a lot of my darling wife in the manner of how she would open her heart to everyone and I could tell that when she loved, she loved greatly, much like her daughter. Her kindness was shown to everyone that she encountered and she had welcomed me to her family and I could remember how Isabella and she held each other in tears when I announced my leave. It was not out of fear for being left with the Volturi but it was their great love for me and now…
…Now…both were dead because of Aro.
How could I have not been there?
I hadn't been there to save her or her parents but maybe even the unborn child. Maybe if I had stayed, I could have protected all of them, I don't know how but maybe I could have talked some sense into Aro.
I would have never thought that he was capable of such…monstrosity. Of course, I knew of the horrible things he had done but they were justified by the law that he tried to uphold. This however….this was an act of maliciousness. Completely unjustified because the Swans had never plotted anything against the Volturi neither had they showed any inclination of hatred. They had given their trust and had shown love and compassion.
Now all that was left was a scared child that was now an orphan.
Isabella.
I remember when I first met her;
- 1703 FLASHBACK -
Aro's palm held my shoulder in a brotherly manner as he smiled at me, "We take care of family here…" a laugh escaping his lips and at that moment I truly believed that I could be happy here and that I could trust him. After I returned his smile, he held out his palm in direction to the doors ahead, "Come…" he ordered although his tone held no firmness but instead sounded warm and friendly.
Trusting him, I followed him towards the doors and as we approached, the guards bowed in respect before pulling the doors open to reveal the bright sunlight and I paused to question him, "The garden?"
"Yes" he seemed amused by my nervousness but assured me with a nod, "I would like you to meet a few of my friends" inclining his head towards the outdoors.
Knowing that I could believe him, I smiled and began to trail after him again until we were under the bright sunrays. For a brief moment, I wished that I could feel the warmth on my skin but decided not to dwell too much on the negatives as I should be making the best of this moment I had with my King.
"Isabella?" Aro spoke and I looked down from the balcony to where Marcus was sat on the grass with a girl sat cross-legged next to her. A large book placed on her lap and her words ceased when her name was called and I watched how her long brown tresses whipped around with the movement of turning to Aro.
A bright smile gracing her creamy skin and her doe-like brown eyes glisten with excitement but I had no more time to scrutinize her features as she was before us in a quick flash.
With her new close proximity, I had to swallow down the venom that pooled in my mouth when I caught the dull scent of her blood which was only emphasized by the thumping of her heartbeat and I tried my hardest to not glance at the carotid artery that tempted me as I held my breath.
She had smelt human but her speed…
"Remarkable", I gasped not able to help myself as I stared at her and wondered what she could be. Was she half vampire and half human? A lycanthrope? I was still new to the world of the supernatural and wasn't sure as to what was real and what wasn't.
Instead, my eyes fell down to her bare arm that exposed the Celtic swirls marked on her skin that appeared to be black but under the sun rays, they glistened with a midnight blue sheen.
Quite spectacular…
"Fascinating" my fingers reached up with the intention of tracing the marks but I froze once I realized what I was doing. Moving back, a sheepish expression crossed my face as I sent her an apologetic look, "Sorry"
Instead of showing her rage, she shook her head with a bright smile, "It's fine" her wide grin assured me when watching the bright honesty gleam in her innocent chocolate eyes, "I really don't mind" she shrugged, taking my cold hand in her tiny ones. Her warmth was something I was not used to but I liked the contrast it had to my ice cold skin.
"What are you?" already drawn in by the mystery that she brought with her. I had always been a person who thirsted for knowledge regardless of the mockery I had received in school. I always wanted to find the answer.
A mischievous gleam twinkled in her soulful eyes as she let go of my hand, "I'll give you a clue" she teased which I found refreshing. After shying away from any human or vampire contact for that matter, it was invigorating to be given the chance to be around those who accepted me.
She jumped back and began to circle me while slowly humming which amused me. Finally she stopped her humming but continued to walk around me, "What has wings…" she began "…and a halo?" she stopped in front of me, clasping her hands together and the obvious answer rang through my mind but I was struck with shock that I couldn't voice it.
Ignoring my surprise, she took hold of my hand again, "Join us" she pulled me and Aro down the steps that lead to the garden and my steps were mechanical as I tried to wrap my head around the idea of the existence of angels. I, a vampire could not exactly say it was impossible for the existence of angels.
"Marcus and Renata are teaching me to control my shield" she pulled me away from my frenzied thoughts with her enthusiastic chatter.
When the fog was cleared from my mind and I figured out that she was an impulsive girl of the moment, I tried to force myself to quickly move forward when focusing on her words, "Shield?"
She paused turning to me, the life never leaving her eyes as she glanced at Aro then back to me before adding, "I'll explain" before the grin returned to her face and she began to skip towards Marcus, humming the same song again as the happiness continued to flow through her.
-END FLASHBACK-
Now as I looked at her, I still couldn't believe she was the same girl that I had met 309 years ago.
Life was drained from her and the light that had once shone in her bright eyes was gone and I could not even bring myself to decipher why the warmness was replaced with a cold fear that hardened her eyes and placed heavy purple bags under her dulled eyes.
Her loneliness…her heartbreak…her grief…and worst of all her defeat – all which seemed to be highlighted within her graven eyes.
Now she was here and there was no way I would be making the same mistake of leaving her again. I would look after her like she was my own because I already considered her to be my daughter. It made me proud to recall her previous words of her thinking of me as 'family'. Even though I was undeserving of that title, I would make it my eternity's mission to prove to her that I was worthy of her forgiveness.
She would no longer be alone.
However, even through my self-loathing and burning guilt, I was still able to notice that Edward had been fairing worse than I was and although I had had similar views of going to Italy and straightening things out with out, I knew that we couldn't do that to my family and that included Isabella.
Still, seeing Edward's rage only doubled my shame but through the guilt, I could see that he obviously felt something for Isabella. Anyone could see how they both wanted something more but both were hesitant and even though this provoked my protective instincts for Bella I knew Edward and I knew that Edward was good.
They both deserved each other.
We could all see that.
EPOV
Aro.
The mere thought of him was enough to make me sick and I couldn't control the rage that fought its way into my mind, overwhelming my emotions as well as the control that I should have had over my body.
We knew of the Volturi's wrongdoings but th-this…this was just too much.
To think that the strong, beautiful and completely undeserving girl that I held in my arms, had suffered in the hands of Aro disgusted and angered me to the brink of insanity and even thinking about what else he had done would be enough to drive me over the edge.
I was fighting my every instinct to stop myself from running to Italy and killing him myself. My telepathic power would act as an advantage and I knew that I was quicker than he was which would also act as my favor. His life would be the only one that I would gladly take without any regrets because he had hurt someone that I truly cared for; someone that I would willingly lay my life over for.
She told me not to go and I would fight my instincts so that I could obey her wish but it was getting harder by the minute but it helped to have her in my arms. The minute she had touched me, I felt my rage deflate when the warmth of her skin met mine, instantly releasing the calming waves which seemed to be stronger than Jasper's power.
Part of me warned to not to make a big deal about her needing me to stay but the other part of me argued that I could not just simply stand by and ignore this but something had changed within me and it was because of this new feeling that I was able to stop myself.
I felt something for her.
I needed her just as much as she needed me and I knew I could not stay away.
Not now.
Not ever.
-REVIEW RESPONDS FOR GUARDIAN CHAPTER 28-
chyna76 – Thank you for the great review. Little twist with the Bella/Aro thing huh? I'm glad that you're enjoying mine.
InLoveJA – Thank you so much for the corrections. Thank you for appreciating the flashback. I was so excited to do my first one and it's nice to know that it went well. I know what you mean about losing track of time. The flashback had originally gone on into something more but I was careful to cut it down.
Thank you for the compliments to the dream. It was difficult upon choosing how to reveal her past but I'm glad that you liked it.
kity moon priestess – Thank you for reading and actually reviewing. Always amazing to know that a new person has joined the story and that you like it.
Multi-Fandom-Lover123 – It is so amazing to know that you think I'm a 'terrific author'. I can't believe that I made you cry. Hope your dad gets you the fifth book. They're addictive aren't they? I couldn't seem to stop reading them and did everything I could to finish them. Regarding the beta thing, my cousin actually offered to do it for me but if she fails – I know who I'll be knocking for the help. Thank you.
jellybeanpink84 – Thank you for your review and I'm so happy that you're reading and waiting for more.
Dorri – Let's hope justice will prevail and Aro will be stopped. Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Twilight Rocker – I'm so glad that you loved the flashback. Tried hard to perfect both that and the dream. Bella is feeling very guilty and like Edward, she places the blame onto herself but the Cullens will help with this. Always great to hear your love for the chapter so thank you.
IzzyPure – Teaching me a lot of Latin and I am bada ba ba ba LOVIN' it. My friend did the same with Kool-Aid so it's faded but I helped her use the real thing and dye it blue. Caramel hair – that's a nice colour. Why change it?
My eyes burn after reading about your dance. (jokes).
Aw…it truly sounded like Footguy Fred liked you – oh well, his lost.
When I'm super hyper, I also get random laugh attacks. OH NO – I have got the symptoms of Catula disease. This doesn't sound good at all. FATAL? What help do you offer for this disease?
Thank you for the love for the story, your funny reviews and for reading and I hope you enjoyed this update.
Gracegoddess – Thank you for reading and reviewing and I am so happy to know that you liked the update. Hope you enjoyed this one.
-REVIEW RESPONDS FOR GUARDIAN CHAPTER 29-
sujari6 – Aro is very evil in this story and has hurt Bella in so many ways but let's hope justice prevails. Bella was in even more danger when she was alone. She is powerful but there are limitations. Thank you so much for reviewing and for reading.
j macphail – THANK YOU so much for reading all the chapters and for reviewing. I'm so flattered that you love the story so welcome aboard. Your compliments are gratifying and appreciated. I am very honored for you to have favored my story. Thanks again.
cecilia4059 – Yes, maybe in a different world she and her family would have been saved but then again the Volturi guards are very powerful and maybe they would have stumbled upon her family. Of course things will be looking up, especially now that she's met Edward. Thank you for reviewing.
Team Cullen – I've never had a 'Holy shmoly' before so thank you for that. I am so pleased that you are enjoying this fanfiction story. Thank you again and welcome.
Guest – Thank you for your much appreciated review. So happy that you're enjoying this.
IzzyPure – You did leave me in suspense…happy now. Anyway, thank you for your positive review and I'm glad that you liked the Bella and Edward moment. Hope you liked this update.
chyna76 - Read your story – great start and I hope that you'll be updating soon. Hope you enjoyed the EPOV and the CPOV. Thanks again for the compliments.
MiniJellyBeans – Thank you for the review and for reading.
Valentine Rain – Hope you liked the different POVs. Glad that you're loving the story and I hope you enjoyed this update.
jbrjaw27 – I thought it would be nice to write a little Edward and Bella moment. Hope you liked this chapter and thank you for reading and reviewing.
Multi-Fandom-Lover123 – After this breakthrough, there'll be a lot more Bedward moments. Well I wouldn't want you to die of waiting so I'll keep trying to update quickly. I'm far from perfect but it's nice to think that someone thinks so…Thanks again for reviewing and reading.
InLoveJA – Thanks for the help and I hope you lied the CPOV. Appreciate your review and for taking the time to read and help correct.
pfkman23 – I really want Bella and the Cullens to kick ass too but none of them are ready. Thank you for the review and for reading.
theGIRLwhoREADStooMUCH – Thank you for reading and reviewing. I am so happy to know that you loved the update. Hope you enjoyed this one.
Twilight Rocker 12 - Hope you liked the EPOV and thank you for the compliments and for reviewing. Glad that you enjoyed the protective Edward moment. I enjoyed writing it. Thanks again.
A/N: Please review and MASSIVE THANK YOU again. Should have an update either on Friday of Saturday so keep a lookout.