Chapter 86

I rolled over in bed, dragging my fingers along Monroe's shoulders. He turned, but instead it wasn't Monroe. Nick smiled as his blue-green eyes bored themselves into me. I abruptly sat up in bed. David Cassidy stood at the footboard, playing his guitar. Both David and Nick began to sing.

"I'm sleeping, and right in the middle of a good dream.
Like, all at once I wake up from something that keeps knocking at my brain.
Before I go insane, I hold my pillow to my head,
And spring up in my bed, screaming out the words I dread.
I think I love you,
So what am I so afraid of?
I'm afraid that I'm not sure of,
A love there is no cure for…"

Nick reached for my hand as David continued to play. "I think I love you, Renée."

My eyes popped open. Dammit, not another one. Blue-green eyes. Always those darn, blue-green eyes! I turned to Monroe, who was deep asleep beside me. I adored him in every way imaginable, so why was Nick Burkhardt continuing to haunt my dreams?

I crept out of bed and slowly descended down the steps, humming that damn song as I went. My shoulder bag was by my jacket on the cedar chest. I pulled out my cell phone, thumbing through my contact list until Nick's number appeared. I'd dialed Nick's number halfway through at least five times yesterday after Nick had left Monroe's house, and I'd come back over. What was wrong with me?

Monroe knew something was wrong, too. He'd kept asking me if I was feeling well as my thoughts raced back to Nick most of the evening. I'd feigned stress, but how long would that excuse last?

"Hey, uh, why are you awake?" Monroe's voice came from behind me, scaring me out of my wits.

"Just couldn't sleep," I replied quickly, dropping my phone into my bag before I turned around. "Thought I'd come downstairs and read," I lied, flashing him a smile.

"It's three in the morning," he said with a yawn, combing his fingers through his wild, curly hair and giving me a curious stare. "Want me to make you some warm milk?" Monroe was so sweet and wonderful. Why was Nick clouding my thoughts? I closed my eyes to focus myself. It wasn't helping.

"So… Is that a no to the warm milk?" Monroe asked, and my eyes popped open. Right, he was still standing in front of me.

"Uh, yeah. That would be nice, but I can make it on my own. You get some rest. Six o'clock will be here before you know it." I walked by and kissed him on the cheek as I went into the kitchen.

Monroe was right behind me. "You aren't fine at all," he said by my ear as he put his hands on my shoulders. I jumped again at his touch. "Give me a little credit here."

"My brain is just overloaded with... stuff," I half lied. Nick stuff was more accurate.

Monroe rubbed my shoulders while I pulled the milk out of the fridge. Warm milk was disgusting. I made a face at the thought as I directed my attention to the stove and grabbed a saucepan.

"It's been a crazy month, that's for sure." Monroe sighed as I poured the milk and turned on a burner. "You wanna talk about it?"

No, I didn't.

I turned to face him, looking into his knowledgeable, deep brown eyes. Those were the eyes I really loved. "Death, Reapers, Exes, Dragons, Waschbars, Waldgeists, Blutbaden. I'm starting to feel like a broken record. I'm working on it," I said softly. "Pity parties aren't fun events."

He hugged me. "You've been through quite a bit, Hun. It's okay."

Oh, Monroe's embrace was what I wanted. A light scent of Old Spice was still clinging to his skin from earlier today. I breathed it in, and for a second the blue-green eyes vanished from my brain. The second ended as Nick continued to penetrate my thoughts. While I tried hard to nix the feelings, I was losing the battle. I thought about how much I loved Monroe and how wonderful his embrace was, but Nick dangled on the forefront of my mind.

"Uh, milk?" Monroe's voice perked up, and I quickly let him go.

With a gasp, I reached for the saucepan with the milk frying inside and turned off the burner before it scorched the pan. "Dammit!" I scowled. I didn't curse outwardly very often, but lately the sentence enhancers had become more and more necessary in my opinion. I hated cooking. Could you cry over burned milk, too?

"Let me take care of this," said Monroe as he eyeballed his saucepan with a grimace. A trip to Williams-Sonoma was in my future for a replacement, for sure.

"I'm so sorry." I sighed as he hurriedly moved around the kitchen to fix my mess.

"It's fine. I can salvage the pan… I think," he muttered as he took it over to the sink. While he ran the water, I leaned on his back, resting my head against him.

"Let's just skip the milk," I said as I hugged him. "I'll find a way to sleep." I just needed to sleep without Nick in my brain.

(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)

Nick was in the spotlight of my dreams the rest of the night. Groggily, I awoke and managed to get to work on time.

My computer cursor blinked at me as I stared off into space. I couldn't concentrate. He was gnawing at my brain. I pulled out my phone, gazing at his name and phone number. Lurid thoughts cascaded through my mind as I shook my head and put my phone away. After my last training, I left early and stopped at Home Depot. I bought bags of dirt and lots of flowers and plants. I needed to keep busy.

Once home, I lugged my purchases to my back yard, so I could start to work. I'd take all my frustrations out this way. Planting was peaceful, and I needed Zen. Lots and lots of Nick, err, Zen. Lots of Zen.

I shook my head as I went inside to change clothes. I searched for my gardening gloves and my tools. For the next few hours I was planting lavender mixed with yellow daisies and asters mixed with moonshine yarrow. Yellows and purples lined my flower beds. Maybe I could plant some bushes near the fence? Or perhaps a nice shrub by the Nick, err, brick.

"Dammit!" I scowled loudly. It wasn't helping. Why, why, why?

Dire Straits played out in my pocket, startling me. Nick… My heart fluttered nervously. I hadn't heard that song in quite a while. I took off my gloves and reached for my phone. The song continued to play as I held the phone in my hands. Finally, with trembling fingers, I pressed the button.

"Hello?"

"Renée. Hi, hey," said Nick, sounding cheerier than I'd expected. "How are you?"

"I'm good," I replied as dourly as I could. "Wasn't expecting to hear from you after our talk yesterday."

"Yeah, about that... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound insensitive or anything. I'm just trying to learn as much as I can here."

"It's fine." My voice softened. I couldn't stay mad at him. "It's just not easy to discuss. I shouldn't have been so rude," I added. "So, umm, how are you with everything else? Monroe kind of told me about the proposal. I hope you aren't mad, but we were together when you called yesterday and…"

"I figured you knew. I'm all right, considering. Yeah…" He sat silent for a moment. We both did.

"Umm, did you need something?" I finally asked.

"Need something? Oh, umm… Well, if you're free, there are some things I'd like to show you… at the trailer, I mean."

"Yeah, but it might be a little bit." I stood from my flowerbed, dusting myself off. "I was planting in my back yard."

"Planting? It's not the right time of year is it?"

I laughed. "I have no clue. At home it would be, but maybe it's a waste of time. I just needed flowers and spring." And Nick. I needed Nick, too.

"Oh. Well, come by, and I'll see you soon?"

"See you soon, Nick."

I turned off my phone as my heart rate increased. I didn't need to be anywhere alone with Nick. Maybe I shouldn't go? These stupid dreams, feelings, and notions had me in knots… But he wanted to see me, and I really wanted to see him.

I showered and dressed a little nicer than I normally would. Grabbing my laptop and scanner, I headed to my car. Wow, I was giddy. No, it was silly to feel like this. It was Nick. Dumb, ol' Nick. That was all. I pushed on my practiced calm. Maybe it would help with the feelings, too.

Incubus' 'Stellar' played on in my head as I drove toward the trailer.

"How do you do it, make me feel like I do?
How do you do it? It's better than I ever knew…"

These feelings for Nick were becoming more than just silly notions. But why? Why was he causing such a wave of... Oh, God. Was it really more than just feelings? No, no, no…

I shook my head. Instead of humming, I played 'Lil' Red Riding Hood' from my MP3 Player. I needed Mr. Wolf for a while, without the teeth this time.

A/N: More Nick dreams. I found it amusing that I had this scene of warm milk written and then when Grimm returned, Monroe mentioned warm milk to Nick. LOL! Guess I'm on the same wavelength with the writers.

So Renée is going to see Nick... Hmm? He seems a bit happy to want to see her, too...