CHAPTER 32 – EXHALE

Stranger – Katie Costello

Stranger I've known you for so long
I found you lost with a compass in the fog
Stranger you know me too much
Illusionary-self had not be touched, until you

Humming Hallelujah in the dark
Whispered poems leave you to be
Humming Hallelujah in the night
The sun might rise, as sometimes does it fall

A/N: Thank you all for the reviews. Enjoy this update.

Today I woke up with a new found lightness that had found its way into my heart and was flowing through me. Although there was heaviness in my muscles as I was now weighed down to the bed.

I had had a good night's sleep with no nightmares due to Esme showing her kindness. She had offered to lay by my side with a silent promise to stay until I fell asleep.

I hadn't exactly felt like being alone.

Another reason for the good night's sleep could also be the fact that I had been placed on the most comfortable bed I have ever laid in.

It was a large bed with a soft mattress that I practically sank into. The covers were a light green to matched parts of the walls and also the furry carpet, curtains and the small chair next to the bed while the soft cream pillows matched the rest of the walls. It was simple but beautifully decorated and I had complimented Esme on this, to which she smiled at and informed me that Alice had helped.

As much as I loved the room, I had to admit that part of me had hoped to be placed in the same room as Edward but that guilty pleasure would be locked into my thoughts for a long time. Carlisle had been quick to suggest that I sleep in the free guest room on the first floor so neither Edward nor I could exactly go against it. Furthermore, I could not be sure that Edward would even want to be in the same room as me as I slept.

Even though we had the brief moment where I hugged him and accepted me, I couldn't exactly base the label of our relationship because of this. I wasn't sure of whether we were simply acquaintances or friends. How could I be sure that he even considered me as a friend? What if he had only accepted me because of Carlisle? Although that didn't explain how protective he'd been when threatening to go to Volturi.

It was all so disorienting.

I could not even begin to explain the new feelings that erupted when he was around or the need to open up for heart for him.

Three raps on the door brought me out of my trance and I sat up and in a frenzied panic, I began to run my fingers through my hair to smooth it down from the disarrayed mess from my tossing and turning through the night. My borrowed pyjamas were wrinkled but there was nothing I could really do to fix that.

"Yes?"

The door opened revealing the tiny burst of energy that uncertainty in her wary eyes as she slid into the room, "Hey…" she whispered, her hesitance was clear in her voice as she shuffled a few steps in and leaned onto the wall with her hands locked behind her back.

Not being able to stop the disappointment of it not being Edward, I veiled my discontent with a welcoming smile but I was still grateful of having her here.

I pushed the heavy covers off my heated body before sitting up and crossing my legs beneath me. Blinking the sleep away, I ran my fingers freely through my hair, still attempting to tame the wild tresses as I looked up at her, "Morning" my throaty voice was still hoarse as it was laced with my sleep.

Once she knew I didn't mind having her, she grinned widely and skipped further into the room, the skirt of her green dress flaring with her graceful movements before she finally jumped onto the bed, landing on her knees. "How did you sleep?" her dull eyes were still doubtful but her voice had acquired some confidence.

"Good actually" nodding to assure her before repeating, "Really good" adding a convincing smile in hopes to diminish her anxiety.

Finally her hesitance broke when the light sparked her bright eyes once again, "That's good" her happiness appeared to be genuine which surprised me but before I could say anything, her hands took mine and then her gold eyes bore into mine, "So what do you like to eat?"

"What?", confused by the sudden change in topic.

She rolled her eyes at me, "You know…? Food?" she pretended to be holding a burger to her lips before dropping the gesture as something dawned onto her and the worry returned, "Or don't you need to eat?" she fretted, "It's just because we saw you eat in school" she hastily tried to justify herself.

Her apprehensive expression was amusing and I giggled before nodding with a chuckle, "I eat"

"Oh" she stared off into the distance, trying to process what I said before slowly nodding with an expressionless face and when finally recovering, she happily asked, "So…what do you like?"

Not liking where this was going, my eyes narrowed, "Why…?"

"Esme wants to make you breakfast" she quipped and threw her legs off the bed and onto the carpeted floor so that she was sat up on the edge of the bed.

Shaking my head, I began to edge towards her, "She doesn't have to do that" quick to decline the offer because I knew how vampires weren't so fond of human food – whether it was being around it or worse handling it. My plan had been to just leave the moment I woke up but now she was interfering with the idea.

"But she wanted to" she was quick to reply with a pleading look in her eyes as she wanted for me to understand.

Recalling from yesterday, I knew never to argue with Alice so I tried for a more compromising suggestion, "At least let me help?" I offered.

After a few moments of deliberation she nodded in defeat and answered, "Fine" Then she clapped her hands and stood from the bed and began to walk towards the door but paused on her tracks, "Meet you downstairs in half an hour" turning around to look at me for verification.

"Okay" I nodded in promise.

"The robe, towel and your change of clothes are placed on the desk", she inclined her head towards the chest of drawers and I caught sight of the clothes laid in a neat pile not remembering having them there last night and Alice caught my expression as she explained, "I placed them there last night" adding a wry smile indicating she was uncertain about my reaction.

"Thanks"

She shrugged it off with a casual wave of her hand, "No problem" she grinned again like the happy person she was, "Use the bathroom over there" nodding her head towards the private bathroom.

I was so taken back by the kindness being shared within this family that I was actually fighting tears when I mirrored her smile and thanked her for the hundredth time. The more time I spent with them, the more I realized that my gratitude would continue to increase.

It was her turn to shake her head, "Like I said…" pausing and fully angling her body to face me, "No problem" the bright smile lighted her eyes as she added, "What are friends for right?"

"Friend?" my grin only widened to the point that my cheeks ached.

"Practically best friends" she smiled, blurring before me before her arms wrapped around me in a warm embrace. Instead of being overridden with fear like I should be, I felt exhilarated and the burden that I had felt before was now dissipating, freeing me once again.

I almost felt like the old Bella.

It was nice.

She tensed, pulling back and casting a fleeting glance behind her shoulder before she looked back to me and rolled her eyes when calling out in a sarcastic tone, "It's safe to come in now Edward"

Edward?

Edward was here? Why was he here? Had he been listening to us this whole time?

"What?" still dazed with the whole situation and even more thrown out of the loop when I watched as Edward slinked into the room with hesitant steps. He avoided my gaze when casting a pointed glare at Alice with pebbled eyes before diverting his stare onto the ground.

Knowing that he was feeling embarrassed, I decided to break the awkward silence with a sheepish greeting, "Uh…hi" and thankfully he finally met my eyes with his own way ones. His lips were set in a taut grim line as he scratched the back of his head looking back to his feet which shuffled nervously so I decided to capture his attention again, "You were waiting outside?" I questioned.

Edward still avoided my expectant eyes so Alice filled in with a smile in her tone, "All night…" she informed me and my eyes whipped up to look at him.

I can't believe that he had stayed up all night…outside my door.

Right now, I couldn't come up with the words to comprehend what I was feeling.

He seemed more embarrassed by Alice's interjection as he scolded in an irritated voice, "Alice…" her name fell from his lips in an infuriated hiss between his teeth.

"I don't mind" the word left my lips before I could stop myself and this was enough to clear him from the anger as his eyes finally found mine. An unreadable expression had settled in his eyes as he stared at me and within seconds, the relief washed through him when realizing that I wouldn't be angry. Far from it, I was actually flattered and a little – well actually a lot surprised.

The corner of his lips tugged up into a small smile and I mirrored the smile to reassure him.

This seemed to be enough for him as he blurred to sit on the edge of the bed facing me and I found my face was in his hands as he cupped my cheeks. A gently softness warming his golden eyes as he whispered, "Did you sleep okay?" the honesty in his voice reminded me of why I trusted him.

"I did" I breathed with a calm nod while inhaling his delicious scent which fogged up my thoughts leading me to act stupidly when accidently asking, "You?" it was when he looked at me with narrowed eyes that I realized my own mistake so I quickly corrected myself, "Sorry, force of habit" laughing at myself and he joined in.

Once our laughter subdued, he continued his interrogation with apprehensive eyes, "Nightmares?" a wary tone wavering in his question.

Wanting to reassure him I hurriedly replied, "No" I answered shaking my head causing his hands to fall from my cheek but he made it up to me by grabbing my hands in his, "I didn't dream actually" my voice was light as I said this because it had been pleasant to have the peaceful darkness.

His features dulled into a confused grimace as he inquired, "Is that good?"

"I think so…", offering a small gentle smile while I looked into the distance with a pensive look as I thought of how peaceful my night had been. Having someone with me while I drifted off did help in chasing away the dark subconscious that was supposed to creep into my sleep.

It was at that moment that I realized how close we were and my thoughts flashed back to last night in the woods and how Alice had inte- wait Alice!

I quickly moved back and whipped my head around in search for the pixie but came up short.

For some reason Edward seemed disappointed but then he was trying too mask it with the small smile that edged onto his lips before parting his lips to inform me in a hushed whisper, "She left" even his dull tone held a melancholy tune and I wanted to reach up and cup his cheek to comfort him as I willed his worries away with my simple touch.

What was I doing?

What was I thinking?

Who was to say that he even saw me like that?

I haven't been around anyone that makes me feel like Edward does for a very, very long time which meant that I couldn't be sure of what to do. Everything I was doing was what I thought felt right but what if Edward simply allowed my touches out of pity or out of respect for Carlisle.

My whirring doubts darkened my thoughts and I suddenly felt the need to escape.

Moving further away from Edward, I grimaced at the loss of his touch and the distance I had placed between us but I knew it was necessary as I racked my mind for an excuse to leave and gather myself, "I better go to the bathroom" my words were rushed and held a desperate tone.

"Yes" Edward had his head slightly bowed; his gaze had fallen from my face and onto the covers and the crease had returned on his forehead while his fingers anxiously scratched the back of his head. He no longer appeared to be disappointed – just irritated and I feared that I had said something wrong.

It would be a shame if I scared him off and he ended up leaving the house for the day because of me so I asked, "Will you stay and help cook?"hoping for some inclination that I had not messed up our – well whatever this thing we had was.

Finally he looked up to me and I was both pleased and taken back with the smile that graced his lips as he happily answered, "Wouldn't miss it" his emotions were no longer conflicted as the agitation had melted away and was now replaced with an unexpected hope.

Hope.

Hope for what?

"Okay" I breathed, pleased to know that I had not ruined everything but also his answer suggested that he was willing to be around human food for me. At least that was what I told myself. "Then I suppose I should get going" not really wanting to leave and something told me he didn't want me to go either but I couldn't exactly keep Esme and the rest of the family waiting.

With a final smile and nod, I jumped off the bed and walked towards the desk, feeling self-conscious with every step because I could feel his burning gaze still fixated on my form.

Once the clothes Alice had left were bundled in my arms, I reached for the door knob but paused wanting to turn to him but decided against it and slipped into the bathroom and shut the door behind me.

For a few seconds, I collected myself as I leaned on the bathroom door and took a calming breath before I began to strip off the tank top and short. I was carefully folding them into a pile as I knew that I would take them home with me and wash them before returning them to Alice.

They were all too kind.

Once I was done, I finally took in the interior of the bathroom only to find that it was color coordinated with the bedroom.

The same calming green was used on the walls where the glass shower was placed as well as the rectangle cabinets, the circle-shaped mirror and the sink and counter beneath it. Mahogany wood was used for the flooring which I thought went perfectly with the blinds which I could also see was made of mahogany.

When I was done with scanning the room, I padded over to switch on the water and turned to find the towel but found none apart from the hand towels that were perfectly hanging on the silver bars next to the shower.

Alice had told me that she left one for me.

I had probably left it behind in the rush that I had been in with the need to leave Edward's presence.

With a sigh, I walked back to the white door and turned the gold door knob but froze when realizing that Edward still there. Thankfully he hadn't seen anything as his eyes were looking out of the window and only turned to me when I covered myself with the door.

The loud creak of the door opening was what had caught his attention which was why his eyes had snapped to me before becoming fixated onto my bare shoulders with wide eyes and I felt myself flush with embarrassment but I still needed the towel. "Um Edward…?" my tone wavered and I wondered why he was still there and what he had been thinking so deeply about.

When he opened his mouth, no words came out so it took a few second for him to collect his thoughts and register my voice and begin his failed attempt at an explanation when simply stuttering, "Uh sorry – I was just…" trailing off as if he didn't know what to say before finally bringing himself to look away from me.

He actually looked adorable when he stuttered and I marveled in the idea of his human self blushing at the moment. I could easily picture him with flustered cheeks.

I was touched by his gentlemanly manners even though all he could see was my bare arm and my right shoulder that couldn't be hidden from his sight but even those few moments when he stared at me, I found hope in the lust that I felt being emitted which seemed to be enough to boost my confidence.

Again he grunted with his head still down so I tried to assure him, "No, It's fine" but still he wouldn't look at him and I watched in fascination as the same fingers that had held me so gently balled up into an angered fist and he clenched his jaw but also I could see how his nostrils flared while hearing the shallow breaths that he was taking which suggested that he was trying to regain control but over what?

Wanting to appease him, I got straight to the point, "Do you think you could pass me the towel?" my teeth trapped my bottom lip as I glanced at him anxiously.

He seemed to want to look at him but he forced his eyes down, "Of course" he answered gruffly while clearing his throat and rushed over to the top of the cabinet to take the towel but was also kind enough to pick up my robe as he then stretched out the hand that was holding the bundle so I was careful to still cover myself with the door as I reached out my hands and took them from him.

Still he had not made any attempt to even try and peek at me to which I was very grateful for.

He was a gentleman.

"Thank you" I sighed but didn't wait for a reply as I felt myself swoon which was why I had quickly shut the door and fallen back onto it with a sigh.

I've said it once and I'll say it again…

Edward Cullen will be the death of me.

A/N: I know I say it a lot but it is because I mean it. Your reviews make me so happy so again I give out another virtual hug and hi five.

InLoveJA – As always, I thank you for your eyes and for helping out. Corrections have been made. Also thank you for the review and I'm pleased to know that you liked the Carlisle and Bella moment. Didn't realize you were so into it so I'll take that into account. I'm so happy to finally get to the Bella and Edward moments and I hope you enjoyed this one I have added. Thanks again.

Valentine Rain – I am so sorry about the repost. That's what 2 hours of sleep will do to you. Busy with different deadlines so I was like the walking dead. Gone back and corrected that so you can view your review again. Pleased that you loved the chapter and I hope you liked this update.

Pongu – You are not a grudge and if you are then I am too because I love the groveling. Also there may or may not be a part where Bella does get angry with Edward. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Horses-are-my-life – Reading your username, I do wonder…do you own any horses? My uncle does – he owns 3. One named Shadow, another named Cinnamon and the last one is called Galileo. Anyway thank you for the review and I'm so pleased to know you're liking the story.

chyna76 – Oh Alice – we love her but in small doses. Happy that you loved the chapter and I hoped you liked the update. Thank you for the review.

jellybeanpink84 – It was such a relief to finally get the Bella secret out and begin to show her moving on with life so I'm pleased that you liked this chapter. Also it's a great thing knowing that you're still enjoying the story so thanks for sticking around and reading and reviewing.

Twilight Rocker – Carlisle is just like Edward – blaming each other for things that they couldn't control. Bella will continue to live with that guilt but let's hope a certain vampire will make her see otherwise. Thank you for reading and reviewing and I hoped you liked the chapter.

jbrjaw27 – Who wouldn't stay at the Cullens? Definite drama with the Volturi so that's a given. Having children is a possibility so we'll wait and see. Glad you like Bella in this – wanted her to have some backbone. Thank you for your touching comment. It's great to know that I'm good at something so thank you for that and for reading and reviewing.

Multi-Fandom-Lover123 – It's a great plot and at first I was nervous about understanding it but it's so easy flowing and I love it already. You have such a great name – really cool. 'Even Rosalie' could become a catchphrase. Thank you for the review and for letting me know about the story. Along with this thank you for reading and I will get back to yours soon. I was thinking about adding the kiss but I just don't think Bella is ready for such a big step yet but it will come soon.

Guest/TeamEdwardtillidie - Just saw the review after posting so I would like to say thank you for reading and reviewing. There will be a kiss soon so be patient. Thanks again.

A/N: Thank you all again. Hope you liked the update and I'll be back soon with the next one.

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And on that note...I will be going so Au Revoir, Valete, Sayonara, Arrive Derci, Zai Jian, Ciao, Masalama, Auf Wierdersehen, Adeus, 再見...and the usual - GOODBYE!