Chapter 88

Dreams of Nick and me in his trailer haunted me all night. I woke up in a cold sweat while crying at least a dozen times. Hank Williams' words echoed over and over…

"Your cheatin' heart,
Will make you weep.
You'll cry and cry,
And try to sleep.
But sleep won't come,
The whole night through.
Your cheatin' heart, will tell on you..."

I looked at my phone once I got in the car to drive to work. I'd missed eleven calls. A mixture of Nick and Monroe. I had a voice mail for each call. Against my better judgment, I listened to the voicemails.

"Monday, 9:23 p.m.: Renée, it's Nick. Listen, I don't know what happened, and I understand why you left, but I'm sorry. I really don't know what came over me."

"Monday, 9:45 p.m.: Honey, I haven't heard from you today. Call me."

"Monday, 10:36 p.m.: Renée… Maybe we should talk about this? Call me back."

"Monday, 10:55 p.m.: Hey, are you all right? Well, you're not answering, so that means something must be wrong. Or you could be away from your phone. But you'd usually call if you were going to be someplace else. Hmm… Well, call me when you get this."

"Monday, 11:17 p.m.: I know you're upset, and I'm trying to understand what happened, but if you'd just call me back we could talk about this."

"Monday, 11:31 p.m.: Hey Hun, I'm, like, kinda worried about you. I mean, I really hate to drive over and find out you're just in the shower or… Well, perhaps you being in the shower might not be such a bad thing to find you in. Umm… Anyway, just call me so I know you're okay."

"Monday, 11:56 p.m.: I really need to talk to you… this isn't going to just go away."

"Tuesday, 12:10 a.m.: Okay, so it's, like, past midnight and you haven't called me. Dude, I'm getting kinda freaked out, and I know I shouldn't be, 'cause you're probably just asleep, or you forgot to turn your phone off vibrate. But, then I remember who I'm talking about here, and I'm worried you've run across and rabid Gnuherde or a Schneetmacher or something and you've decided, you know, you can take them on. Please say that's not what you're doing right now. Oh man…

"Tuesday, 12:46 a.m.: Renée, I know you're ignoring your phone. Please call me!"

"Tuesday, 1:12 a.m.: Okay, dude. I'm coming over. You're not answering and I need to know you're just at home, asleep, and not ripped to shreds somewhere. Man, please tell me the first two are correct. I'll be there soon.

"Tuesday 1:35 a.m.: Come over tomorrow, we can figure this out. I need to see you. I need you… Dammit, never mind. Just come over, please. Tomorrow."

I shook my head as I threw my phone on the passenger seat. Crap! What the hell was I going to do?

I went through the motions at work, but I couldn't think of anything or anyone else but Nick. I wanted to see him again. I wanted… I wanted strawberries.

At lunch I went to a deli that was quite a few miles away from work. I didn't want to run into anyone I knew. I needed to be alone with my thoughts. Finding a seat in the back, I sipped on iced tea while I munched on strawberries and a veggie wrap.

What the hell was that last night? Okay, maybe I could fix this. I was with Monroe. Nick was with Juliette. We couldn't ruin those relationships because he and I were... absolutely perfect for each other. No, that wasn't it. My head physically hurt from trying to rationalize it.

The practiced calm helped to relax me as I took a few deep breaths. I still had another training to go through and that was where I needed to put my focus today. Olly Murs was singing through the speakers as I took in the words.

"Trouble troublemaker, yeah,
That's your middlename.
Oh, oh, oh.
I know you're no good, but you're stuck in my brain.
And I wanna know
Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad?
Oh, oh, oh.
My mind keeps saying,
'Run as fast as you can…'"

Nick was a troublemaker, and he was…

Dark bangs and blue-green eyes came through the door of the deli. Holy Fucking Hell… He was here!

Nick walked over to my table and sat down in front of me.

"Nick!" I almost yelped. Inside I was nearly giddy. "You can't be here!"

"We really need to talk, and I know you probably weren't going to come over tonight."

My whole body tensed. "How the hell did you find me here?"

"I put a trace on your cell phone."

"You put a… what?"

"I traced your cell with the built in GPS." The man couldn't Google, but he knew how to track a phone? "Well, I had sergeant Wu do it for me." Okay, that made more sense. And it was so sweet that he'd done that to find me. No, it wasn't sweet. No, no, no…

"Nick, last night… What happened was wrong. A million times wrong."

He nodded. "Yeah. Well, maybe. But I couldn't… not kiss you. There's something there. And you kissed me back, so it wasn't just me." He reached for my hand. "I thought it was just a moment of stupidity. But then…" He trailed off as that wonderful, toothy grin emerged.

"What do we do?" His touch sent tingles down my spine. "We can't continue this, right?"

He let go and planted his hands on the table. "No."

I sat up straighter in my chair. "Good. I'm glad you agree."

"You left your jacket and your computer equipment at the trailer last night. They're in my truck."

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't have time to pack up everything before I..."

"Before you left." He reached for my hands again. "Maybe we need to talk more about this."

"Maybe we just need to not see each other."

"Now we can't do that." His eyes locked with mine. "We need each other, Renée." We were still holding hands. I didn't want to let them go.

"So what do we do?" I asked again.

"Tell me you feel nothing and I'll never mention it again."

I couldn't say that truthfully. God, I wanted him. I couldn't deny my feelings.

"You aren't saying anything," continued Nick with a slight smirk.

I squeezed his hands tighter. "I don't know what to do."

"Well, you wanna discuss this further in the truck?"

I nodded as he let my hands go. Rummaging through my purse, I laid twenty dollars down on the table. It more than paid for the meal, but I wasn't waiting around for change. Nick reached for my hand again as we walked out of the deli. His Toyota was parked by the door. Before we could get to the truck, he pulled me in close, and I almost fell on my heels. He didn't smell like strawberries anymore. No, the aroma was like a warm ocean breeze, all fresh and clean. I breathed him in as he held me. Our mouths met and it sent butterflies racing through me. His hand moved to the small of my back, pressing me closer against him.

"What the hell are we doing?" I murmured into his open lips.

"Kissing," he replied.

We continued on; mouths moving, electricity building. My hands found their way into his dark hair. We had to look like two teenagers making out to any passersby. He finally pulled back, and somehow I managed to slide into the car seat. My breath came back to me and I held my forehead. Oh, I was light-headed from not breathing.

"Okay, now that kiss was even better than the first one," said Nick once he got into the truck.

I turned to face him. "It was some kiss." My hand moved down to my chest, which was beating madly. It was like it was chanting, Nick-Nick, Nick-Nick, Nick-Nick…

"So what are we going to do about this?" Nick slumped back into the car seat, blue-green eyes focused on my own. "This isn't even right. Should we feel what we feel?"

"No, it's not right at all. But I feel it. And it's getting more intense…"

Nick lazily circled my knee with his finger. "When Juliette said no to my proposal this weekend… Well, I hit a low. But then there's you… You understand me. You know all about this world I've been sucked into. There aren't any secrets I have to keep from you. And yesterday when we were together, it all made sense in a… weird sort of way."

He made a great point. It did make sense. We were both Grimms. Well, I was half a Grimm. But he and Juliette would always have secrets. Maybe this was fate. My Leo Love Bug was bursting forth.

I laid my hand on top of his. "I'm sorry I ran out yesterday. But when I was with you last night, all these feelings were just too overwhelming. And then when Monroe came over…" The guilt resurfaced briefly. "Nick, this is…"

"This is something we need to understand better," he cut in. That wasn't what I was going to say, but it sounded like a good idea. But then again, no. Monroe.

"But I still love Monroe." My heart ached when I said it.

Nick nodded slowly, removing his hand and reaching for his steering wheel staring forward. "I love Juliette, too. Even after what happened this weekend. I still love her."

"So what is this?"

His head shook slowly. "I don't know. But it's something." He quickly turned toward me. "And I know it's wrong to wanna do this." He stretched across the car seat, pulling me in close.

I nodded. "When I look at you, I know it's wrong to want to do this." I was back on his lips, and they were met with such force. My hands ran through his hair and his arms wrapped around me. Oh, it was wonderful. But, then again it was nothing like when Monroe kissed me. Monroe… I pulled away.

"So, do we go along with what we feel?" I asked hesitantly.

"I don't know about you," he replied with his cute, toothy grin," but I don't want to stop."

A/N: Seems our two Grimms can't keep from smooching. Are you keeping up with the apple tart count? lol!

Interesting comments so far. I have fans pissed at Renée while other are finding this is an interesting twist, and then there are some wanting to see a little Nick action. Lots of diversity. LOL!

I'm loving the Olly Murs song, "Troublemaker." (I listened to it a bit while writing some of this.) While it came later than my timeline, I'm still using the song. It's one of those I wanted to post more than just these lyrics, because it fits well with Renée's feelings, so go have a listen on youtube. You know the drill.