CHAPTER 36 – FEELINGS

Civil Twilight – Human

What is this I feel? Why is it so real?
What am I to say?

It's only love, it's only pain
It's only fear that runs through my veins
It's all the things you can't explain
That make us human

A/N: OH WOW….You guys are the best – 300 Reviews! I am so honoured as to how far this story has come and I than each reader, each review, each follow and each favourite. Sorry for the late update but I hope the next two chapters make up for it.

Cora had been kind enough to let my tardiness slip by as she stated that they hadn't had many customers and it was only my first day so after handing me the uniform and locker key, she simply gave me my first instruction with a kind smile and continued on with her work. She was really nice.

I had expected Edward to leave me to the job but instead of even offering to come back for me, he was going as far as to stay in the diner until my shift was over. Of course I found this absolutely ridiculous and had argued with him for about five minutes, telling him that he did not have to feel obliged into staying but he cupped my cheeks and I melted further when he added the fact that there was nowhere that he would rather be.

He seemed to always know what to say whereas I had stood there like an idiot and awkwardly left with an explanation that involved being late and something to do with dirty dishes. Along with this, it seemed that he also appeared to have a strong effect over my mind and body and I was left completely defenceless against him.

Disregarding that failure, my shift had flowed through easily and I had managed to complete tasks of happily greeting the customers as I took their orders but also delivering their food, cleaning after customers and sending them off with smiles. All the while trying to do all this with Edward's hooded gaze trained onto my every move with what I could read as being fascination although I couldn't comprehend what exactly he found interesting with what I was doing. You would think I was performing an act or some kind of talent with the concentration he had.

Still…

I didn't question it although it did make me feel slightly self-conscious every time I peeked at him from my peripheral vision and found that he was still staring at me and would offer a dazzling grin every time he stared at me and I wasn't the only one who had noticed this as Cora would send me knowing looks which I responded with an innocent expression to let her know that I did not know what she meant by them.

Apart from that, everything was going great and I hadn't even noticed how fast time was going by as I had even gained the confidence to talk to some of the customers, especially the young children that came in during the lunch hour with their families. I have always loved children – mama used to say that I would end up being a teacher but I enjoyed medicine and thought it would be more fitting to be a paediatrician.

"You've got a twenty minute lunch break in the staff room" Cora whispered and I almost dropped the coffee packet as I had been so deep in thought. Still stuck in the daze, I forced myself to come into grips with reality which had caught Cora's attention as she elbowed my sides gently and peered down at me seeing as she was foot taller,, "Something on your mind, sugar?" her voice, although had a certain southern twang, I was still able to identify the kindness and compassion within her soft tone.

Continuing on with filling the coffee maker, I casted me eye3s downwards and shook my head in response and took a deep breath before breaking into an assuring smile, "I'm fine"

She seemed to believe this as she grinned back and repeated; "Twenty minutes in the staff room" her words had a stern edge to it with the underlying seriousness.

I wasn't tired and I really wouldn't mind continuing the work, I actually found it enjoyable as everyone was so kind well with the exception of one of the waitresses who kept lingering by Edward. However, I was pleased when he ignored her and only half-listened to whatever she was saying. It pleased me further when I caught the irritated crease on his forehead every time she sat by him - well until Cora would turn around snap at her to get back to work.

"You can even invite your friend" she offered and that seemed to have caught my attention. I looked towards Edward's booth but did a double take when I found he wasn't in his seat.

However, my question was soon answered when I felt his breath tickle my neck and although it was cold, it heated my skin making me both skittish and excited, "She'll be happy to" his velvety voice grazed my ear and I fought the urge to lean back onto his front.

That seemed to be enough incentive for Cora as she swatted my hands away, gesturing that I should leave, "Go on then", she smiled at the both of us knowingly.

"Okay" I gave a relenting nod, giving in to the fact that they were both teaming up against me. Plus it didn't help that I had absolutely no will power when I was up against Edward so I gave in, "Let me just do the coffee. Table six h-"

She took the coffee away from my hands when interjecting, "Get out of here" rolling her eyes at me and I pouted, "And don't worry, you have already guaranteed the employee of the month position" she joked with an amused laugh as Edward took my hand and began to drag me along with him.

The staff room consisted of it's own fully stocked fridge that Cora had informed me was available to everyone. On the far end was a large brown sofa along with two cream armchairs by the side with a round coffee table in the middle. Next to that was another table with a stack of old newspapers and magazines. The beige walls were bare and the whole room was simply lifeless. Edward seemed out of place as he walked to the middle of the room and I found the contrast discerning.

No one else was there which meant that it was just me.

And Edward.

We had been avoiding each other's gazes so we both resorted to staring at our surroundings for a full minute but soon enough, I was growing restless of the awkward silence that thickened the tension.

However, just as I wanted to say something, he was quick to interpose, "How about we get you some food?" the crooked boyish grin stretching across his face although the nervousness was still evident in his eyes and his movements were almost mechanical as if he was trying to stay in control of the situation.

Wanting to put him at ease, I returned the grin, "Don't fret" waving him off so that I could walk walked across the room before he could so that I would open the fridge, "I'll get a baguette" I added but then released a childish giggle when realizing what I had said which only earned a perplexed and questioning look that I received from Edward.

"What?" he asked with a bemused expression

Walking back towards him, with a baguette in my hand, I slumped down onto the sofa next to him but remained a few inches away from him as I was being careful to not evade his personal space. I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable in any way which would risk him wanting to leave my side.

He continued to stare at me expectantly and I recalled his question which caused me to bite my lip, suddenly feeling stupid for why I had laughed so I timidly murmured, "Nothing"

Surprisingly, he inched closer to me and nudged me with his shoulder as he pleaded, "Come on" he urged and bowed his head so he could lock gazes with me. It was almost as if he knew that my kryptonite was when I stared back into the golden eyes that radiated his warmth, "Tell me" he continued and I felt myself waver with the quiet and pleading tone that he manipulatively used on me.

"Nothing" still trying to fight off the power that he had on me, "It's stupid, really" hoping that my nonchalant shrug would deter him but it only had the opposite effect.

"Please tell me, please" he pouted, clasping his hands, and we both knew that was my undoing. He had to know the effect that he had on people.

With a reigned sigh, I turned to him and nervously ran my fingers through my hair before deciding to drop my eyes to the baguette in my hands, "It's silly really" scoffing at myself but still continued to explain my strange behaviour, "The words just –" I paused and braved myself to look at him. He was staring at me with great interest and the fascination so I felt encouraged to continue, "I was laughing because it rhymed" I blurted out and when peeking from under my lashes I was thankful to know that he wasn't laughing but he did wear an amused smile so I felt the need to justify myself, "When I was younger, I used to talk in rhymes with my parents and I suppose that it became embedded into my subconscious" smiling at the past memories.

His smile widened and he leaned in towards me with his arm resting across the back of the seat where I was, "You're smiling again" he pointed out in an awed tone as if it was something mesmerising and I failed to understand the unexpected vivacity that made its way into his eyes as he kept his gaze transfixed onto me.

"Just brought back old memories I guess" answering with a slight shrug although my nonchalance was contradicted with my apprehension knowing that he was still staring at me.

"That's good" he leaned back slightly as if he was trying o get a full view of me, "I like hearing you laugh" he concluded with a small nod.

The words took me off guard and I snapped my head up to read into the honesty that was his intense stare. Liking the fact that he was being honest with me, I decided to step up and ignore my doubts as I replied, "Truth be told…" I paused taking a deep breath before finishing, "I like hearing you laugh too" my sight was trained on him to catch any changes in his deameanour and I only found that he grew even more enthusiastic and this also seemed to encourage him toi inch closer to me. Still feeling brave, I quickly blurted, "…and your smile"

If I didn't think his smile could widen any further, I was wrong.

However, the crooked grin that I loved so much transformed into a calm smug smirk as he questioned, "You like hearing my smile?" he teased me.

Realising my mistake, I shook my head, "N-no no", still shaking my head but laughing at the same time, "I meant I like your smile" I corrected myself with another laugh.

He smiled at me, "I know" specks of a brighter gold glistened in his eyes, " I'm just teasing you" and with this, he reached over to tuck a stray strand of my hair behind my ear. His fingers lingered and I felt myself shiver at the cool touch grazing my neck before he pulled away and I had to stop myself from childishly pouting at the loss of contact.

Instead I focused onto what he was saying, "And if we're being honest, I suppose I will admit that I like your smile too" my face flushed and I ducked my head which made him chuckle in response. "Don't hide" he whispered and his fingers were placed under my chin before tilting my head up to look at him but I still cast my eyes downwards, "Don't hide" he breathed again, "Not from me…" he pleaded and I finally looked up at him, "Beautiful…" his whisper, laced with an underlying strain.

After a second passed, he leaned in so that we were only inches apart and I couldn't help but glance down at his lips. The involuntary action of my tongue darting out to my bottom lip caught his attention and I watched with fascination as his eyes glazed over, his pupils dilated, the gold darkened and he gulped before practically groaning, "Bella…?"

The battle played within his stormy eyes so I thought back to our time in school and decided to tease him so that I could ease his frustration, "Edward…?"

He seemed to remember because something sparked in his eyes but the emotion was quickly erased as the determination set. I couldn't look away from him and I remained transfixed, entranced as I observed him parting his soft lips with great hesitancy, still in doubt.

Finally he seemed to find the courage after searching my expression and sized himself up to begin what he was conflicted to ask or say, "I w-

"Hey guys!" the loud and obnoxious tone that broke through the silence had us breaking apart and simultaneously whip our heads towards the intruder.

At the doorway, stood my not-so-favourite co-worker and I internally groaned when she cast her murderous glare onto me. Her name was Jenny and she wore it proudly on the gold tag that was pinned onto her altered uniform. The skirt was supposed to hit her knees but she had hitched it higher and unlike the converse shoes that I was wearing, she had chosen to wear bright red heels.

She had been the one that had made her intentions very clear and now I watched as the hunger and lust returned as she had diverted her stare at Edward now.

Feeling worried, I followed her line of sight and bit down my lip to stop myself from smiling when I read the frustration on Edward's dulled expression. His head bowed as he pinched the bridge of his nose and I wondered what he was mulling over about that had him so wound up.

The clacking of her heels echoed in the small room as she stalked towards us and then slowly sat down on the sofa, practically pushing me so that she could wedge herself between us. "Hey…" she purred and I grimaced as I watched her inch closer to him but I still couldn't find it in myself to look away.

Something was burning within me as I took in the image before me. The whole visual both angered and - well there was something else I was feeling but I could not decipher what it was but I knew that I didn't like it. It made me angry and I didn't like that.

Thankfully Edward just took a deep breath in response but I was also able to hear the low rumble in his throat. It was almost like he was preparing himself for war as he angrily snarled, "Hi" and for some reason his distant attitude towards her pleased me.

"We meet again…" she paused and moved closer to whisper his name in what she thought was a seducing manner, "Edward" she purred the name, exaggerating the thick accent that she was putting on.

When Edward didn't say anything in reply, she pressed herself further into him and my hands balled up into fists when she continued talking, "I was actually looking for you"

Edward peeked at me over her shoulder with a pleading look before his gaze flickered back to Jenny and asked, "Why?" he no longer sounded angry, instead he sounded bored. However, she didn't notice the dullness of his tone because she continued to bat her eyelashes and taking anything he said as incentive to move closer.

Of course Edward Cullen turned heads and most of the females that entered the diner would glance at him and take a double take before widening their eyes. Most of them would be respectable enough to leave him in peace but not Jenny. She had popped open a few more buttons of her uniform to give more cleavage than necessary and had let her hair loose from the ponytail we were required to have.

She sauntered over with more sway in her step before sliding down onto the chair next to Edward and crossing her legs, "To talk..." she cooed, only having eyes for him and it sickened me further. Suddenly the room felt smaller than it actually was and the need to escape rose.

Edward moved further away from her o0bvious advances and his eyes flickered back to me, "I was actually talking with Bella" he argued with an underlying plead in her tone.

"Oh she doesn't mind" Jenny spoke before I could and didn't even bother to turn around and look at me, "Do you Bella?" she finally turned around to glare at me and the words, if looks could kill filtered through my thoughts with the hardened eyes that bore into mine.

"You know what? My break is almost over anyway" Edward was sending me a strange look but I couldn't comprehend what it was because all I could think about was leaving which was why I hastily added, " Plus it is kind of crowded" my comment was met with a pointed look towards Jenny who was still twirling her hair around her finger while staring at Edward and I fought back the negative feeling in the pit of my stomach as I watched the older, beautiful and more experienced girl flirt with Edward so I quickly added, "So I suppose I shall get back"

Gathering my food, I didn't want to waste it so I wrapped it up neatly and put it back into the fridge knowing that I would take it with me later before hurriedly rushing out of the room.

"Hey you okay?" Cora asked.

"Um…" I was sidetracked when seeing Edward leave the staff room with an angered expression while Jenny stood at the doorway with a disappointed look.

Staring back at Edward, I found he was searching the room before pausing once he found my eyes. Instantly an infectious smile welcomed his face and like always, I returned it.

"Uh…Bella?" I blinked to look back at Cora who was snapping her fingers in front of my face to break me from the daze, "You okay?" she asked once she was sure that she had captured my attention.

With the smile still spread across my face, I kept my gaze fixed on Edward when truthfully answering, "Never been better"

A/N: Thanks again for the reviews. Please continue as they make me smile and I really appreciate the support that you guys have given me.

Responses to the reviews.

cecilia4059 – It would be difficult for Bella to decide to leave anyway. Let's hope that she wouldn't be scared away. She is still scared of the species that killed her family.

Gracegoddess – Thank you. It's reallynice to know I have a talent. I'm glad that you're enjoying the story. Took a while for me to get the hang of writing – even took a class.

Valentine Rain – Hope you enjoyed the Edward and Bella moments that was added. Love writing out their moments so I hoped you enjoyed the update.

jbrjaw27 – Sorry for the short chapter – just a teaser. Makes my day to know that you're all still reading and even bothering to review. Can't give out any secrets – prefer to let you wallow in suspense.

BeyondSanity12 – Her stubbornness is justifiable. After all, she had trusted their kind and look where that got her. Have to wait and see if she'll move in with them…Glad you enjoyed the Cullen cooking thing. I loved it in Twilight when Bella entered the kitchen and then Emmett just casually waves the knife around. Anyway, thanks for the review and for reading.

IzzyPure – Romance is a'brewing…Thanks for the compliment.

You've eaten eel? Sounds…interesting.

I understand what you mean about the public affection. Not many are that brave to actually reveal themselves.

No worries about the nook thing. I'm just thankful that you're reading and reviewing.

Twilight Rocker – Sorry about the late update. Tried to be quick in writing the three chapters and I hope you enjoy them. Sorry to freak you out but I hope the EdwardxBella moments make up for it. thank you for reading and reviewing.

A/N: Thank you for the R&R. Flip over to the next chappie...