No Such Thing As Free Lunch
Chapter 11:
It happened sooner than he expected.
After class, a trio of girls waylaid him before he could escape to the kendo club meeting. He did not recognize them, but they acted familiar and friendly, so he guessed that he must have assisted them at some point during a class. That was normal enough.
The first girl had wavy hair, and she stood quietly to the side, while the other two dominated the conversation. The short-haired girl announced how glad she was to have the opportunity to stand alongside him. To his other side, another girl with a headband agreed enthusiastically.
Hmm. Maybe they were part of a school-wide committee, and he simply couldn't remember what activities the group was undertaking?
In the background, toward the end of the row of lockers, he could see Kagome. Because they had separate lunch-periods, Sesshoumaru had not caught a glimpse of her all day. At the moment, she seemed to be upset, glaring at him, as if he did something despicable.
She was spying on him, and not very discreetly either. Without really listening, he nodded absentmindedly, agreeing with the next comment.
Well, this was unexpected. He had recently hoped she would regain her outgoing, indomitable spirit – but he hadn't thought she should direct her anger toward him, now that Inuyasha was out of the picture.
"... even more handsome than your younger brother," he heard. Facing forward again, he finally started to listen to what the short-haired girl was saying. The word 'handsome' had definitely emerged from her mouth. So, perhaps she was not a fellow committee member, or a girl he had helped with homework.
"Excuse me?" he growled, a small twitch developing beneath one eye.
The quiet girl, the one with gentle curls in her hair, quickly shook her head. "I swear that I didn't ask them to do this!" she murmured softly. "Eri! Yuka! We shouldn't bother him..."
The short-haired girl cut off her friend, however. "How else are you expected to get it off your mind?" she asked, before glaring at Sesshoumaru. "Ayumi has been interested in you for a long time! She is really a very sweet girl. She respectfully requests to know whether you would be interested in..."
"Really, it's okay, you don't have to come," the wavy-haired girl began, directing her words toward the upperclassman this time, instead of her friends. "They were just trying to help..."
Oh. For heaven's sake! He had been nodding his head in agreement, because he thought the activity they were discussing had to do with a school committee. Not because he thought they were discussing the importance of going on a date. Did he agree to something horrible, while he was busy observing Kagome?
"No," he frowned. "I'm afraid I cannot agree to go anywhere, with your friend. It seems there has been a misunderstanding."
Remain polite, he reminded himself. Remain calm. Don't react.
"Oh... okay," pouted the girl with the headband. "Er... just out of curiosity, is there someone else?"
Why in the world did this bother him so much more than usual? Twice before, in earlier grades, girls had tried to confess their 'feelings' for him, and he had politely turned them down each time. He had never felt annoyed by it, though. Every other time, it was unimportant. This time, he felt upset.
It was frustrating just to stand there, breathing the same air they had already inhaled.
"I fail to see how that is any of your business," he snapped. A-ha! The same line Kagome had given him, when he first annoyed her by the tennis courts. She had been trying to drive him away, at that point. And now, he understood the sentiment. Hopefully, they would leave him alone soon.
When he looked up, Kagome had disappeared.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
There were stickers on his locker. From bottom to top, from side to side, every inch of it was covered in brightly colored stickers. There were glittering stickers, and pictures of kittens and bunnies, and floating balloons and ribbons. In fact, just about the only thing that one could not see on his locker was the metal surface of the locker itself.
He pondered who might have accomplished this feat, but only for a instant. Only two people at school seemed to dislike him enough. And Inuyasha would not have taken revenge by forcing his locker to look more... adorable. It could only be Kagome Higurashi.
But why on earth would she plaster his locker with stickers, before class on Tuesday? Well, perhaps she did it yesterday afternoon while he was in club practice. Either way, he was going to be humiliated. There was no possibility of removing them, before other students arrived.
Despite the futility of it all, Sesshoumaru decided to give it his best shot. Dropping his bag on the ground, he rolled up his sleeves and began to peel away the 'cute' from his (formerly) respectable-looking locker door. Quickly, he grimaced. Some of the stickers were layered upon other stickers! This was going to take forever.
By the time Kikyou arrived, he was scraping the surface of the locker with the blade of his pocket-knife. He almost never took the knife out of his pocket. He wasn't even certain whether school-rules allowed him to carry it. But rather than carry around a blade that he never used – he was going to resurrect his dignity, by clearing the surface of the locker as quickly as possible. Desperate times called for desperate measures.
Kikyou stopped and stared. Finally, after a few moments, she closed her mouth and regained her usual placid expression. "Need any help with that?" his classmate asked.
As she started to transfer books from her schoolbag to her locker, he shook his head. Yes, he might appreciate assistance, but he would gladly die, before asking a fellow classmate for help. Not this particular girl, in any case. Even if they were not dating, even if she was a lesbian, he still wanted Kikyou to respect him. That portion of his feelings had not changed after she exposed her secret.
It seemed like she was trying not to laugh. He refused to look. Only fifteen minutes until class. More students would approach at any moment. He needed to hurry.
"A gummy, sticky residue will be left behind when the stickers are gone," mused Kikyou. "But sometimes... lighter-fluid helps remove it."
He stopped and stared at the locker door. She was correct. The surface of the metal looked like it had been covered with bits of glue and paper.
It was useful information. He had not known what to do about this part of the problem, until her suggestion. Still, it did no good. "I don't smoke," he replied, grumpily.
Rummaging through her pack, Kikyou unearthed a plastic, disposable lighter. Glancing at it, then at Kikyou, he raised one brow. A light blush dotted her cheeks. Obviously, she was trying to help, but she was also embarrassed.
"It belongs to Kagura!" she whispered under her breath. "I'll find paper towels, and once you are ready to wipe the front of the locker, you break it open to pour out the contents. It evaporates fast."
"Hn." He stuffed the small plastic lighter into his own pocket. Many people, it would seem, had hidden sides and carried around unexpected items. "Thank you."
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
During first period, he pondered how best to retaliate against Kagome. She had employed devious tactics, hoping to embarrass him in front of the other students. She could not be allowed to escape!
There was absolutely no valid reason why she should be upset with him. The first time she had been angry with Sesshoumaru, he had understood why she felt it, but this time, it was truly ridiculous. And he planned to demonstrate that to her. And that called for retaliation.
Between second and third period, he caught sight of her, lurking around the locker area. With an unsympathetic smirk, he knew that he had been correct. Kagome was the one who plastered stickers on the door, and now she was trying to see what response it had received.
Yet he had worked hard to ensure that his locker door was perfectly clean.
Glaring at him from across the hallway, she turned to stomp away. He stepped forward, intent upon asking her what she was doing, what she had been thinking... But there were too many people in the way.
Unable to halt her progress, without drawing lots of attention, Sesshoumaru allowed her to leave.
As she walked away, he saw that the small pocket of her bag was unzipped, and a piece of brightly colored cardboard lay within it. Perhaps this was meant to be the next attack, in her unjust campaign of terror against him? Bright colors had attacked him the first time, after all.
Creeping along after Kagome, through the crowded hallways, the third-year student checked that she did not look back and notice him following. Finally, reaching out, he snatched the bright-colored cardboard and lifted it from her backpack.
It turned out to be a set of gel-pens. Glittery gel-pens of multiple different ink colors, in an unopened package. Why exactly were high-school girls so obsessed with these?
Well, perhaps this was not another item meant to traumatize him. She couldn't have done anything to harm his reputation with brightly colored pens, could she? Sesshoumaru kept them, just to make sure.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
By the end of the next period, he was leaning against the wall outside of Kagome's classroom. He had gone through a lot of extra effort for this! He had requested a copy of her schedule, pretending that she was helping out the Cultural Fair committee and that he needed to analyze her class schedule to set up a time-table for her to meet with the group. Honestly, it should not be so difficult to take petty revenge on another student.
She exited the room, smiling at one of her friends, a girl with a ponytail and athletic build. Needless to say, however, when she saw him lounging against the wall on the other side of the hallway, she froze in place, looking slightly horrified. He carefully ignored her, merely crossing his arms and carefully displaying the gel-pens in his hand, as he moved.
"Hey!" Kagome instantly took the bait. "Those are mine! I was wondering where those went!"
Pretending to notice her for the first time since she had emerged from the classroom, Sesshoumaru decided to tease her for a while. "Oh?" he murmured pleasantly. "I don't see your name on them."
Narrowing her eyes, she stalked forward. "Give those back."
How odd. It made him happy to annoy her. It was definitely fun. "No," he deadpanned, holding the container above her head.
Kagome gasped. Evidently, she had not considered refusal an option. "You cannot possibly want to keep my pens!"
Of course, he did not want to keep brightly colored gel-pens, for heaven's sake. He was male. But that did not mean she would get them back, so easily.
He tore open the package. "Pick your favorite color," he announced with mock generosity.
"Aah!" she shrieked in frustration and dismay.
Naturally, she snatched the pink one, before she sent him an evil glare. It went beyond her normal level of annoyance; it looked like she might be slightly angry this time. Actual spite flashed through her eyes.
Pointing one finger at him, she sputtered incoherently, then marched away.
Hmm. Maybe he should have returned the package. Opening it, on her behalf, that was a bit rude... But then, it was also rude to put stickers on someone's locker.
No, he would not relent quite yet.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
The next day, she made another move. To be honest, it took longer than Sesshoumaru had expected. Nothing had happened all morning and he had spent the afternoon growing steadily more paranoid.
At last, Kagome struck. He simply missed the opportunity to see her attack. When he arrived at kendo practice, a few other players snickered as he entered the dojo.
"Oi, captain. Need some help with your laundry?" asked one of the younger students.
His brow furrowed, as he tried to understand the comment. Another boy continued the earlier statement. " 'Cause my momma always told me to wash whites separate."
"Shut up, idiots," growled the vice-captain. "God, you are all so immature. These things happen."
Sesshoumaru blinked in confusion, until someone finally pointed out the outfit that was sitting in his bag. Wide-eyed, the pale-haired boy pulled out his uniform. Somehow, he had not noticed . . .
The practice uniform was light pink. Ah! This was not even possible! How could Kagome have assaulted a kendo uniform? The club practiced every other day. She must have stolen his uniform from the club room, the day after one of their sessions, when he had deposited it there. Then, she had washed it – in a laundry machine full of red and pink clothing. The (formerly) white fabric would never be the same, even if he poured bleach on it.
Getting back at her, this time? It was going to require some serious thought.
After he told the others to practice without him (because really, he could not act as a responsible team-leader if he was wearing pink), Sesshoumaru sat at the side of the gym floor to contemplate. Finally, the idea came to him. A harmless prank, yet suitably devious and embarrassing. He went to his schoolbag and removed a sheet of paper. A letter and a bottle of shampoo... Yes, that might do the trick.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" screeched Kagome. In one hand, she was holding a crumpled sheet of paper. In the other hand, she was brandishing a bottle of Nix Crème Rinse, shampoo reserved for the treatment of lice-infestations. Waving the bottle vigorously to demonstrate her point, the other girl continued her tirade, but not many more coherent words came out. "What possible purpose could you... This is not … Agh! Uncalled for!"
The high-pitched tone of Kagome's voice drew attention. Most other students in the hallway had already given up the idea of going to class. This was far more interesting than attending second period.
Ironically, Sesshoumaru was feeling a little bit guilty about the whole ordeal. If he had known that it would upset Kagome this much, then he would have picked a different form of revenge. All the other annoyances had been minor – for the last few days, they had only attacked each other's dignity in private. The fact that she had halted him in public, where so many people could hear it, only to begin yelling at him... she was very mad. Very, very mad.
She pointed toward her hair. It was still slightly damp. "The nurse made me wash," Kagome ranted, tossing the dark curls over her shoulder. "I had to promise to Thank-My-Mother for helping to diffuse this situation as quickly as possible!"
"Kagome, I..." It was going to be an apology. Really, it was. But somehow, he couldn't speak. Even though she paused to wait for his remark, he couldn't force the words to emerge.
"Why would you make the entire school think that I have a disease?" she finally growled, when he did not finish. "You're completely insane!"
Untrue. The 'entire school' had not been privy to this information, before she announced it in the middle of the hallway. A spark of irritation began to bloom in his chest.
He did not like being part of a public spectacle.
" 'Lice' are not a disease," Sesshoumaru corrected her.
Obviously, this was the wrong thing to say. "Ooh! I am so... not going to forgive you!" she fumed.
Yes, he could apologize. Probably he should. But not right now, right here, in front of all these people... It was like she refused to recognize her complicity in this fiasco.
"My kendo outfit is pink," he reminded her quietly, crossing his arms.
"Clothing color is a minor embarrassment!" she protested. "Head lice is a major embarrassment!" As if there were unspoken rules, and he had failed to follow them, she raised one eyebrow and stared at him challengingly.
The desire to apologize, it was fleeing further and further away. "At least shampoo will solve your problem," he countered. "My uniform is permanently ruined."
"I only did that because you stole my gel-pens! Clearly, you needed more color in your life!"
"After the number of stickers you plastered onto my locker? Hardly."
"AH!" she squealed. "This is all about stickers?!"
"No," Sesshoumaru stated, stepping forward into her personal space. "This is all about your childish behavior!"
"MY childish behavior?" she replied. "You're the one with the brother-hating, womanizing complex..."
In the distance, he saw a professor coming their direction. They had attracted too much attention. But somehow, he could not step back.
"What are you talking about?" he hissed.
"I saw you trying to flirt with those girls!"
Monday morning, he had spoken to three underclassmen. But he distinctly recalled refusing to date one of those girls, so it did not make any sense that Kagome would claim he flirted with them. And even if he had, she was still behaving in a ridiculous fashion.
Anger felt good, he decided. A bright burning feeling, it lightened his chest, destroying his ability to over-analyze life. He should try being mad more often. It was easier to speak, even if his words might not sound nice.
"Hn," Sesshoumaru sneered. "As if I would flirt with that type of girl."
"Oh my god!" Kagome snapped. "Could your ego get any bigger?"
To one side, a professor was clearing away all of the other students, firmly instructing them to attend class, not to linger in the hall. And the others were leaving, although they gave many backward glances at the student council president and the feisty first-year girl arguing with him. The news would circulate all over the school in less than a minute. He was about to get a detention. Sesshoumaru didn't even care, anymore.
"Those girls waylaid me. Don't even think about suggesting..."
"You almost had me convinced that you wouldn't try to steal your brother's girlfriends, but here you are sabotaging him. Again."
"None of those little idiots would be dumb enough to date my half-brother."
She froze. Then, fuming so hard she could barely see straight, Kagome pushed him in the chest. "How dare you!"
By now, the professor was standing beside them, holding up his hands. Somehow, he could not fit a word in edgewise. Both Kagome and Sesshoumaru ignored his presence. The distance between their bodies had decreased, until they were only a few inches away from each other. Kagome did not appear the least bit intimidated by his size, and she positioned herself between the teacher and his chest.
"I am not the least bit interested in my half-brother's love-life," Sesshoumaru responded, "If you had any sense then you wouldn't be either."
Kagome smacked him with the shampoo bottle in her hand. Hard. It made his left shoulder sting a little, after that strong a blow. Immediately, the professor darted forward to catch her arm, before she could move. "Higurashi-" the teacher began.
"This isn't about Inuyasha," snarled the blue-eyed girl, disregarding the authority figure who was trying to stop their argument. "In case you hadn't heard, I broke up with him."
"Then why exactly are we fighting?" Sesshoumaru asked in exasperation. Surely, this insanity did not spring from nowhere. She had placed stickers all over his locker, after he 'flirted' with girls, who apparently liked Inuyasha, despite the fact that one of them had been flirting with him.
Undaunted by their mutual refusal to listen, the professor continued. "Higurashi-san!" He shook her arm, demanding attention. "You do not push other students, and you definitely do not strike them in the shoulder. Both of you , come with me. Now."
So, they walked to the principal's office on opposite sides of the instructor. Sesshoumaru did not have a clear view of her face, but it looked like there might be... tears in her eyes. Damn it all to hell.
On second thought, he realized, anger was counterproductive and harmful. They had gone from friendly teasing, to outright annoying pranks, to fury. It had only taken a short amount of time. And he still had not apologized. She deserved an apology, if he had infuriated her to this extent.
"I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "I should not have said those things about you." Facing straight ahead, so that he didn't have to see what the professor might think of all this nonsense, he spoke to the air directly before him. "And I should not have tried to... embarrass you, in front of your classmates. It was rude and unnecessary."
She snorted, on the other side of the instructor's figure, but did not reply.
"So... I'm sorry," he repeated himself, inanely. There wasn't really much else to say. She did not have to accept the apology, but he did hope she believed it.