Chapter 92

After a leisurely dinner out, Monroe volunteered to call Nick to let him know we were driving over.

"Yeah, man. We'll be there soon," he said, finishing the call.

I kept watch of his face, anticipating that Nick might say something that would alert Monroe, but he seemed just fine. My stomach was in knots, and I held it tightly as we walked back to my Malibu. At least the wolfsbane spray seemed to be working. Monroe hadn't acted like there was anything different about the car.

We buckled up, and I started the engine. A small voice in my head yelled at me to just call Nick and cancel, then go back to Monroe's, but it was too late for all that. Until I had to choose, this was how it would be.

I turned on the radio as we pulled out the restaurant parking lot.

"You can't hide your lyin' eyes.
And your smile is a thin disguise…"

I held in my scowl and changed the channel.

"Wake up call.
Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed…"

I pushed another preset.

"What goes around, goes around, goes around,
Comes all the way back around…"

I changed the channel again.

"Though you keep on saying you really, really, really love me.
Do you speak the same words to someone else when I'm not there?"

I franticly pressed another button.

"But either way, there's gonna be a
Heartache tonight, a heartache tonight I know…"

I shut the damn radio off. It hated me right now. I hated me right now, too…

"Uhh, couldn't find anything you liked?" Monroe asked. I turned to him as he shook his head.

"I found too many things I like," I muttered in reply.

(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)

The trailer looked like a large, tin can of guilt. They were both gonna be in there together with me in that small space. My heart pounded up in my chest as I edged out of my car. I opened the back seat, pulling out my laptop and scanner. I reached for my work laptop as well; the more computers, the better. We'd just work tonight and I'd try not to think about everything else. Hopefully I could handle it.

"You got everything?" Monroe asked as I closed the car door.

"Yeah." I turned to him standing behind me. He looked so good tonight in his green plaid shirt. The guilt resurfaced.

"Let me help you with that one," he pointed to one of the bags and I passed it over.

A small voice in the back of my mind pushed through. 'You don't really feel anything for Nick. It's Monroe. You love Monroe.' I shook my head as the voice retreated into one of the mental filing cabinets.

"Let's go," I said hastily.

Monroe knocked on the trailer door and shortly after Nick emerged. I held in my breath. He looked really good tonight, too. The top button on his blue denim shirt was undone. My instincts pushed at me to walk over there and undo a few more, but I held back.

Nick awkwardly looked in my direction with a smile, then over to Monroe. "Hey, come in," he said, clasping his hands together. He let out a quick breath as I walked past him.

The urge to touch him tugged harder, but I refrained as I moved forward. Monroe and I sat down on the trailer bed. More guilt returned as thoughts of what else we'd done on that bed came back to me.

Monroe sniffed the air and tilted his head as he looked toward Nick. "Man, what did you spray in here?"

I swallowed hard. Oh, God. What had Nick tried to do?

"Umm, Lysol," he replied. "Is it too strong?"

"Uh, yeah. It's, like, a miasma of chemicals mixed with a…" he sniffed again. "Is that supposed to be citrusy?" He shook his head. "Do those dudes even know what a real orange smells like?" He gagged.

"Sorry," Nick said while wiping his hands on his jeans. "Just trying to freshen the place up."

"If you want fresh, don't use that crap anymore, 'cause it ain't working."

"Noted," replied Nick with a nod. He turned toward his desk. "Okay. Well, I have these three books to work on tonight," Nick continued, pointing to a stack of large journals. "Monroe, if you want to work on translating this one, we'll work on the other two." He picked up the top book and passed it over to Monroe, who eagerly took it.

"Yeah. You got it, man," he said with a nod. "I'm really happy to do this, you know," he told Nick.

"I'm sure you are," he responded a bit grudgingly, but Monroe didn't seem to notice his tone.

"I'm just gonna sit here while not touching anything and just, you know, translate touch-free. Well, except for this." He waved his hands over the journal. "I'll be touching just the books tonight."

"Okay." Nick gave him a slight nod. "That's good, I guess." He cast me a pained stare as his eyes widened slightly.

I shook it off. Right now I just wanted to focus on the books. Chaining up my mental filing cabinet I pulled open my bag, retrieving a steno pad and a pen. "Here you go, Monroe. You can transcribe on this." I tried to hand him both items, but he already had the book open, completely engrossed.

I laid them on top of the book, and Monroe jerked his head up. "Oh, thanks." Monroe chuckled. "Guess that would help, huh?"

I glanced over at Nick and mouthed, 'Sorry,' as I held back my pout.

He kept his gaze on me, mouthing back, 'Come outside with me.'

I glanced over at Monroe, who was already writing fanatically. I wanted to lean on his arm, but then what would Nick say? Oh, this was awful.

I turned back to Nick. Arms crossed and leaning against his desk, he stared at me with a mix of lust and longing, which was a dangerous combo given the company. I tapped my nose as my eyes darted toward Monroe. 'Come on, Nick,' I silently said. 'Use your head.'

Nick pointed to the trailer door. I shook my head at him. If I went outside then I'd want to hold him, and then no amount of wolfsbane would hide what I was feeling.

Instead, I went back to the task at hand and reached for my laptop bag. Tonight we would be strictly professional. I stood and walked over to the desk, set down the laptop, and turned it on. Once the screen came to life, I connected the scanner. The flash drive went in next, followed by the encryption code.

"Nick, if you want to work on scanning in the drawings from this one, I'll transcribe the other one on the bed... beside Monroe," I emphasized.

"Grab that other chair and set your laptop on the desk near mine." His hand brushed against mine as a cascade of goosebumps flew up my arm. "It'll be easier to type that way."

I glanced over at Monroe, who was in his own little world, nodding and scribbling away. He wasn't paying any attention. I turned back toward Nick as he reached for my hand again. I wanted to keep holding it, but I let it go just as quickly.

"The trailer bed is fine," I assured him, scooping up the journal and making my way back there, tout suite. I took in a few slow breaths. I'd just avoid Nick like the plague; a plague that just happened to have the side effects of rapid heart palpitations, heavy breathing, and giddiness. Oh, this was hard.

I opened up my work laptop so I could get started and hummed Lenka while the computer booted up.

"I'm just a little bit caught in the middle.
Life is a maze and love is a riddle.

Slow it down, make it stop or else my heart is going to pop.
'Cause it's too much, yeah it's a lot to be something I'm not.
I'm a fool out of love 'cause I just can't get enough…"

I was in the middle and it was all I could do not to have a panic attack.

"Man, I don't think this part is very accurate," Monroe mumbled as he shook his head. "Steve never did any of this stuff." He looked up at Nick. "I think you need to omit some of these parts, dude."

"Sure, if it's not accurate, just don't put it in," Nick hastily replied as he glanced from the computer over to Monroe. He clenched his fists and then flexed his fingers, opening the book with one hand and reached for the scanner with the other.

Monroe nudged me as he showed me a section, trying to explain what he meant. I heard about half of it as Monroe took my hand in his. I leaned against him, but then the sound of Nick's chair had me back up instantly.

"Hey, Renée. Come here for a second. Hold this book while I scan this image. I can't get it to lay flat."

"You can manage," I idly replied not looking up. Monroe nudged me giving me a 'be nice' look. If he only knew I was trying to be nice.

Nick was eyeballing me as I slid the laptop off my knees and walked toward the desk. The book was lying down just fine. He jotted something on his notepad and spun it toward me.

I can't do this.

I sighed quietly and wrote back.

I'm sorry. I love him, too. You know that.

Nick shook his head as he read the words. He wrote again.

You don't have to love him in front of me.

I looked up at him as his eyes dulled into a stormy gray. I wrote again.

Let's just work and try not to think about it tonight.

Nick read it then let out a quick sigh, nodding slowly. He tore off the paper, making an effort to crumble it into the tiniest ball possible. One could only imagine what that paper represented.

I went back to the trailer bed, grabbed the laptop and book, and made a conciliatory move over to the floor. It would be better if I was working in my car. Leaning against the apothecary cabinet, I crossed my legs and plopped the computer on top. Since the car wasn't an option, I'd just work over here, away from both of them.

Monroe glanced up. "Why are you sitting there?" He circled the trailer bed with his finger. "Come back up here. There's plenty of room."

"No, this is better," I insisted while opening the book. "It helps keep my back straight." And my thoughts, I added internally.

Monroe shrugged. "All right, but it seems kinda lonely though."

Out of the corner of my eye, Nick was staring at me. Oh, how I wanted to return that stare. "It's good. The trailer is small, so I'm not lonely."

"If you say so." Monroe didn't question further as his eyes rested back on his book.

I forced myself to concentrate. There was still so much to do with the database. Using my work laptop was risky, and this work was definitely not related to training. Well, not the training it was meant for anyway. Deleting the files wasn't a problem, but regardless, it was dangerous having this kind of information on it. Whether it was more dangerous than having a Grimm and a Blutbad in the same small space while holding back hot and bothered thoughts for both was uncertain, but it was close. Still, I had to remain distracted. Absorbing my mind with the computer was the best defense against the other thoughts that were looming around in there. And they were looming, all hot and… Holy crap, it had to stop.

An hour into transcription, and I was already back to thinking of other things. Monroe and Nick things. Monroe was fielding all the questions tonight as I tried to remain quiet and fade into the background. They were both engaged in discussing a bit of everything, and thankfully I was out of the spotlight.

Occasionally I'd glance up at Nick, who was busy scanning, and my heart would leap up, but then I'd turn my focus to Monroe, who was busy interpreting, and my heart would ache. I was a horrible person. But I loved them both. My feelings pushed against me as I briefly closed my eyes. How could I feel this much simultaneously for two separate people?

My phone beeped in my pocket, startling me. I pulled it out to see a text message from Chloe. It was a photo of her standing in front of the ocean. Her tan looked great against her bikini. The Voodoo doughnut had done no damage from what I could tell. Attached to the photo was a text.

Who did U pick?

I sighed at the words. The direct link to my brain was working overtime. Poor Chloe. With the thoughts I was having lately, it had to be hard to keep up. I took a moment to type back.

I haven't yet.

The phone rang moments after I sent the reply. Of course she'd call. I pushed the silent button on my phone.

"Who was that?" Monroe asked curiously.

"Just Chloe. I'll call her back," I replied, trying not to shake my head.

The phone beeped again. She wasn't giving up. I set the book aside to text my friend.

Chloe: Why didn't U answer?
Me: Because I'm w/ both of them right now.
Chloe: WTF?!111
Me: Not like that. Perv.
Chloe: Whew! Good. I can stop having a heart attack on the beach now. Thx. What are U doing w/ both of them?
Me: Trailer work.
Chloe: SMH - That's dangerous, girl. So how long are U gonna draw out this charade? o_0
Me: It's not a charade. I'm just trying to figure out my feelings.
Chloe: I'm still Team Monroe. I'm just sayin'. =)
Me: Great. I'll be sure to let him know he has a fan club. :-P I'll call you later.

I turned off my phone. It wasn't as easy as picking teams. I loved them both for different reasons. I hummed as I glanced over at Nick.

"If I only could decide,
But I can't make up my mind.
I'm breakin' all my rules because of you…"

I turned my gaze toward Monroe.

"You can tell me it's not right,
And it tears me up inside,
But the problem is I'm so in love with two…"

I closed my eyes again. These feelings of love were battling inside my brain, giving me a headache. Unlike Mikaila's song, I couldn't give Monroe and Nick a ranking. They were both my number one. It was a tie.

"You doing all right over there?" Monroe asked as I opened my eyes. His brow furrowed while he looked me up and down.

"It's just hard to read some of this tiny handwriting," I lied, blinking a few times. I had to get a grasp on my thoughts.

My finger traced my lip as I read through pages of my ancestors' tales of stalking out Wesen and lopping off heads. Perhaps Monroe wasn't so far off course with my little driver's license search. It seemed stalking Wesen was in my blood. I felt eyes on me and I glanced back up to Monroe, zeroed in on my finger. He licked at his own lip as my breath hiccupped. My finger moved between my teeth as I tried to keep my eyes on the computer. Thoughts of pouncing and growling with Monroe overwhelmed me.

Another set of eyes were boring into me. Nick seemed interested in where my finger was lingering, too. That sexy smirk emerged as my skin prickled at the thought of my lips on that smirk. The thoughts were brief because they wouldn't be hidden thoughts much longer. Between both men ogling me, you could cut the thick fog of testosterone in the room with a knife. Surely this much sexual tension would alert Monroe. This confined space wouldn't hide anything no matter how much Lysol Nick had sprayed. It was good to prevent germs, but it didn't kill the love virus, and I was infected, terminally.

Nick pulled out his phone, typing away as his gorgeous eyes flicked up at me a few times. His phone beeped back moments later, and he grinned, running a hand through his hair. Who was he texting? From that smirk… Oh, it must be Juliette.

Monroe turned toward him. 'Man, what kinda work are you doing over there?" He gave him a knowing look. Actually that was really smart. Monroe would think he was sending steamy texts to Juliette, explaining any scents he might be giving off. But then again, what if he was really texting her? I shot him a look and he returned it back. Oh, he really was. I held in my scowl. Well, I couldn't blame him too much. It wasn't like Juliette was in here with us. How awkward would that quartet be? I shook my head.

After quite a few texts, Nick rose up and edged toward me, which only made things worse.

"I need to check these drawers," said Nick as he leaned down beside me. "One of the diagrams describes a bloodroot mixture, and I think I remember seeing some of the herb in here." The smell of warm ocean waves reached my nose as he moved closer, while I scooted off to the side as quick as I could. "I wanna add the drawer number to the diagram for future reference," he continued as his sexy, toothy grin emerged. "You think we should link it like that?"

"Uh, yeah. Good idea."

"I thought so. It's good to link things together that mean something," he replied giving me a knowing look. He meant a lot of somethings to me. I let a small sigh escape me.

"Man, bloodroot is nasty stuff though," Monroe warned from behind us. "If you've got that in there, don't get it on your skin unless you want a rash that'll last a week. And definitely don't get it in your mouth. It causes a burning sensation in the stomach, and I'm talking, like, the kind that Pepto Bismol ain't gonna cure."

"I try not to chew on the things I find in here," Nick retorted. I begged to differ. "The book said it causes paralysis," he continued.

"Well, yeah. If you ingest a whole lot of the stuff. That is if you can hold it down long enough for it to do anything."

"What if you're hit with an arrow full of it?"

Monroe lowly whistled. "Whoa, now that'll definitely freeze someone in their tracks."

Nick continued to open the apothecary drawers while I was chaining my drawers of dirty thoughts shut. The mental filing cabinets were brimming full of them.

He brushed against my arm as he opened another. "Hmm, not in this one."

"Maybe it's in one of those up there," I offered as I pointed to the top row.

"No. It's definitely down here somewhere," Nick replied with a smirk. He slid one out near my shoulder. "Hmm, not in that one either. Now where did I see it?" Nick knelt down beside me, reaching for the bottom drawers as I slid closer to the trailer door.

The room was getting warmer and I was feeling a bit dizzy, watching him stretch that sexy, lean body of his down further. His fingers trailed up my leg discreetly, pulling another drawer open. I fought back the urge to take hold of him right there. Just count to ten and relax.

One, two, three…

I slowed my breaths as he continued pilfering drawers. God, that Grimm could pilfer my drawers right now.

Four, five, six…

His fingers dipped under my pant leg. I gripped my jeans.

Seven-eight-nine-ten. Dammit!

I couldn't take any more, so I got up on my feet and sat beside Monroe while Nick continued his search. I reached my hands up Monroe's neck and into his hair, allowing my thoughts to shift toward the Blutbad. It wasn't hard. I glanced down at the inseam of Monroe's slacks. Well, perhaps it was. Oh, God…

"If you can't be with the one you love, Honey, love the one you're with…"

The song blew through my mind. I loved Monroe, and right now I couldn't love Nick while he was sitting across from us. No, that was completely out of the question. Perhaps Chloe was right. I needed to choose. But I didn't even half understand these feelings, much less try to direct them completely in a single direction. No, I couldn't choose, and I didn't want to.

My fingers scratched lightly at Monroe's scalp as I leaned into him. All the while my gaze focused on Nick moving about just to taunt me.

"Oh, here it is." Nick opened one of the top drawers. "It was up here after all." He grinned our way, but that grin was meant for me.

He closed the drawer and undid one of his buttons from his shirt. My eyes rested on Nick's chest as I pursed my lips. That dark chest hair peeked out underneath, and I ran my fingers through Monroe's hair while imagining my fingers ruffling over Nick's chest. Well, now my mind had completely fallen into the gutter. Nick, you bad boy. The mental filing cabinets burst open their chains as more vivid images flitted around my mind. My breath quickened as racing hot thoughts flooded me. This was too much. Too, too much.

"You guys warm in here?" Nick asked nonchalantly as he walked back toward the desk and reclined as he sat back down.

"No," Monroe replied. "Seems okay to me."

I cleared my throat. "It's fine." My cheeks, however, completely disagreed.

I looked back at Monroe, tugging a bit on his hair. Monroe caught my eyes and a devilish grin formed on his lips. I bit my lip in response. I needed out of here and under him immediately.

"Dude, I think it's getting kinda late," he said, snapping the book closed. "I got quite a few pages transcribed though." Monroe's grin increased.

"Yeah." I turned to Nick, who was obviously holding back a grimace. "I think we're pretty much done for the night."

"Okay." Nick stood, closing the laptop a bit forcefully as he let out a breath. "Well, then thanks for your help."

"I'll come back soon to do more," I offered as I stood up. If I didn't leave now, I was going to do more than just books tonight.

"Yeah." He pushed his bangs out of his face. "You come back and… do that."

Swiftly, I packed my things. Why did he have to look so good? Dammit! Cautiously I moved over to the desk as Nick helped me with the computer. His fingers traced the small of my back while never deviating from packing with the other hand. Multi-tasker. Damn Geminis. I peeked up at Monroe, who wasn't paying attention as he stuffed the steno pad into my other bag. Nick's fingers traveled further down and I tensed.

"You ready to go?" Monroe asked as Nick's hand dropped to his side.

"Just about," I shakily replied, moving around the desk much to Nick's chagrin. Dangerous, so dangerous. What was he thinking? I looked up at Nick, who stared right back at me as I reached for my laptop bag. "I'll talk to you later." I started to say more, but it was best if I didn't.

Nick continued to stare, not replying. I did a one-eighty, sliding the bag on my shoulder. Monroe had the others and was waiting by the door.

"Goodnight, Nick," I called out, not looking back.

"See ya, man," Monroe added, curling his arm around me as we stepped out into the cool, night air. My breath stuck in my throat. This was utterly the worst idea ever.

Monroe's hand resumed where Nick's had left off as we walked toward my car. I found my keys and we tossed the equipment in the back seat. As soon as I closed the door, Monroe flipped me and kissed me hard, pressing me against the car.

"You were driving me crazy in there," he whispered out. "Between you and then Nick sex texting his woman, it was, like, getting a bit heady in the trailer."

"Is that what he was doing?" I acted innocent.

"Oh, yeah. Whatever he was typing must've been… Well, I don't wanna know, to be honest." He shook his head. "So what got you all aromatic?" He held my arms as he looked down at me. "I hope it wasn't due to some antiquated mating ritual you were reading," he chuckled.

"It was the Lysol," I retorted. "Fake citrus scents turn me on." Thank goodness I still had my wits about me, but my wits were running out.

"I can think of far better things to spark your senses." His lips took mine over. "I need to have you immediately," he growled.

"My place is closer. Let's go."

A/N: Whew! Okay, so Renée scraped by... barely.

We're stopping here, but there are more extremes headed your way. (Sorry.) We're going a bit darker, too, just fair warning. This story is labeled mature for a reason. LOL!

So, dear readers, still reading? Not yelling and cursing too much I hope. Just keep trusting the story...

Enjoy Grimm tonight at it's new day/time Tuesday 10pm EST

STAY TUNED!