Hello all! On to the next chapter! I hope you all enjoy!
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I'm Not Weak
Chapter 5- All In a Name
Over the next few days, Rookie noticed a change in the aura of their shared little home. It wasn't tense or uncomfortable. It was, in a very odd sense, normal.
Infinite was slowly opening up more and more, not about his past, but just talking to Rookie more in general. They mostly spent their conversations talking about what Infinite could and couldn't cook, and Rookie helped him around the kitchen.
It was strange at first, but Rookie realized that he was right- he couldn't force the jackal to talk- he would open up when he was good and ready.
For the most part, they lived like roommates without an agreement- they were learning how the other lived and operated on a daily basis. For example, Rookie learned that Infinite liked to sleep curled with his tail about his waist, which made him warm enough that he never needed a blanket. It was one of the many questions Rookie really wanted to ask him- why did he always like his tail to be untouched?
Infinite learned that Rookie liked to be up early in the morning to work out and train for a while, keeping himself in tip top shape should he be needed to fight Eggman again. He, on the other hand, did not like being woken up unless the house was burning. He made sure Rookie learned that lesson VERY quickly.
Rookie had a lot of things he wanted to know about his slowly growing newfound friend. Regardless of what Infinite thought, Rookie believed they were friends. Infinite still didn't know what he called their... relations. It was definitely strange to call a non jackal a friend or family member, and even stranger that the kid hadn't turned him into the authorities or something.
As much as Rookie wanted to know- and by Mobius, his curiosity was really peaked and he REALLY needed to know- they were a bit, well, invasive. And Infinite was nowhere near ready to open up. Not yet.
There was one thing that had always peeked Rookie's curiosity, more than anything else on the planet- how Infinite ended up with the name he had. It was a very unique name, and no one else had a name like it. Well, then again, there wasn't a jackal like him alive, either.
Hedgehogs, oh, there were plenty. Foxes, check. Even Echindas were more plentiful than jackals. But Infinite the Jackal... there was only one.
Where was his family? His friends? Did he have a village? What happened when he was young? Why didn't he ever mention his parents? Did he have siblings at some point? How did he meet the rest of his squad?
Rookie had to fight the urge to ask all these questions. He knew there were bigger issues to worry about- the Resistance finding out about his survival. Without his powers from the Phantom Ruby. With the memories of what he'd done.
Did he feel anything for what he did? Was he sorry? Or was he really just that evil?
Rookie wanted to know. He REALLY wanted to know. But what he didn't know was how to approach the subject. Or when.
It was Infinite, oddly enough, who brought up the Resistance issue one afternoon. Rookie had been outside working on sword techniques. Even though Infinite was healed enough that he could begin training, there was something- probably a lot of mental trauma- still holding Infinite back. He hadn't picked up his own sword since Rookie presented it to him, instead staring at it as if it would come alive and kill him.
Rookie had a wooden sword that Espio gave him back when he was with the Resistance. He kept it for memories' sake, and trained with it and a crudely made dummy he had set up in the backyard. It was almost 2 in the afternoon when Rookie finished and headed inside.
As he walked upstairs, Infinite, who was in the living room, called out to him. "Child."
Rookie turned around and tilted his head. Infinite took a deep breath- he still wasn't too comfortable with this topic, but he knew it needed to be asked. "The Resistance I attacked... your friends... I see you never told them about me being alive."
The wolf blinked. That... was out of the blue. He slowly came back down the stairs, typing on his phone. Once he was in the living room, he held his phone to Infinite.
'No. I didn't. I... haven't been able to figure out how to tell them... or when I should.'
He pulled his arm back and added more to the sentence. 'Its not like I don't want to tell them. I do. But they still remember you as a murderer, a power hungry creature who did... well, this to me.' Rookie tilted his head back and a bit more to the left, showing the deep, jagged wound that was just beginning to grow a bit of fur to cover it.
'I'm a mute, to put it simply.' The jackal stared at him a moment, remembering the words Rookie typed the night he saved him.
'How did I forget... I almost ended his life. The lives of his friends. I killed his family, left him crying in their blood...'
Rookie grew concerned as Infinite began to curl into himself. He reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder, catching his attention.
'I don't think I should tell them now. Not when they aren't ready... not when YOU aren't ready.'
Again, Infinite found himself staring at the screen, at the words that spoke the clear truth. He knew he wasn't ready to face the world, to hear their taunts and see the fear he once relished in. He knew he couldn't hold a fight against Sonic the Hedgehog and his friends, not when he was this weak.
He wasn't ready. As much as he told himself otherwise, inside, Infinite still felt weak. Rookie knew that.
"T-Thank you..." Infinite was still struggling with that phrase, which made Rookie chuckle a little. 'He'll get it eventually.' he thought to himself. 'It just takes time. But I wonder... is Infinite giving himself a chance?'
Infinite was still lost in his own mind. He had know Rookie for... almost two weeks now? Maybe a bit longer. It was so, so strange, living with someone he once tried to kill-
'Why do I keep coming back to that?!' Infinite growled to himself, gripping his head. Now he was beginning to figure out where those headaches were coming from. That same stupid thought- he KNOWS he messed up!
Rookie put down his cell and checked on Infinite, worried he may of gotten himself sick again. Infinite breathed heavily in and out through his nose until the pain subsided.
"I... I'm okay..." he panted, pushing Rookie away. "I'm fine... I think..."
Rookie frowned, but felt the best thing to do was leave it alone. Infinite was definitely lying, he knew that much, but he wasn't going to admit otherwise. He got up and went to get Infinite something to drink.
When Infinite finally got himself composed, he was greeted by a glass of water. He looked up at Rookie, then the glass, and slowly, he took it.
'Why is he acting like I'm going to slash his neck or something? I don't understand- one second he's talking and helping me cook dinner, the next, he's closing in on himself like I'm going to hurt him! It's maddening!'
Rookie kept his thoughts to himself, and when Infinite finally got a grip on the glass, Rookie made up his mind. Infinite was still acting a bit too jumpy around Rookie, he refused to pick up his own sword, and now this... episode. He needed to know what was going on.
Rookie picked up his phone off the table, and began typing. Infinite was sipping at his water, letting it slowly flow down his throat. It felt nice, and he decided he could use the distraction.
He knew that Rookie was going to ask about his behavior, and he had no clear cut way to explain it without sounding too suspicious.
Eventually, Rookie finished typing. He was holding onto the phone as he read over what he had planned to ask Infinite, and the jackal noticed the young wolf's right ear beginning to twitch. Infinite found it to be odd, as Rookie never did that before- or at least, when he bothered to pay the kid any attention. But once again, he couldn't bring himself to ask.
Infinite set down the still half- full glass of water, lost in his head again. He knew he needed to start talking to Rookie about what was swirling around in his mind- most of it having to do with what he had done, when he was one with the Phantom Ruby. He knew sooner or later, he would have to talk to the Resistance about what he had done, and that was something he still wasn't ready for.
He really needed help sorting out what was going on in his head. Keeping it tucked away was doing more to him than good.
He also knew Rookie wanted to ask questions, too. Every time he glanced over him, every worried look, Infinite knew Rookie had a LIST of things he wanted to say. So why hadn't he asked him any of them?
'Maybe... I'm making it hard. I still can't understand why I get so angry whenever I think about my past. It's a mistake, but it's... not. I took away his voice, his family, hell, almost killed his friends! But... if I try to explain that... I get so mixed up... and it makes my head hurt.'
Infinite sighed heavily, catching the attention of Rookie but paying him no mind. 'Even that night, after that whole bathroom incident... it took me almost three days to finally tell him the truth. I owe him my life, and he's been... nice to me. No... he... he did it because he wanted to. That's what he keeps telling me. But what if... what if he planned all this?'
Cutting his eyes sideways at the worried wolf, who still hadn't shown him what he typed, the jackal's suspicions began to increase, and his felt his claws slowly digging into his thighs. 'This whole thing, all of it, it could have been just a ploy... to get me to become weak... he probably laughed when he saw how scared I was of some damn water! There is no way ANYONE with their right mind would save someone who ripped everything away from them! There's something wrong with this boy, I know it!'
Rookie was so busy staring into his phone, editing what he was typing, he didn't notice that Infinite got up, his hands balled into fists, his teeth bared, his eyes lit with fury. 'He knew all this time, he knew that I was meant to die! He did this out of pity! He didn't want to save me- why would he! I killed everything he's ever known! He- he wanted to see me like this, to see me squirm! But I will NOT let him defeat me!'
"I'm not weak... I'm not..." Infinite began mumbling. "I'm not weak..." Finally, Rookie's ears picked up Infinite's crazed talking...
...just as the jackal's fist flew through the air and connected with the side of Rookie's face.
Rookie was very surprised as he was sent flying into the nearby pillar, his phone clattering next to him. He looked up at Infinite, who was panting heavily as he started walking towards him, his hands still tightly balled into fists.
'What the heck?! What was that for?! Oh shoot, he's coming again!' Rookie barely had time to recover from that hit as he scrambled away from Infinite. He heard a loud crack as Infinite's hand connected with the pillar. Rookie saw droplets of blood on the ground below him, and realized Infinite was going to break his hand if he didn't stop.
'Of all the times NOT to be able to talk! But what set him off? Did I do something?' Rookie didn't want to fight Infinite- he'd only wanted to talk to him, and he barely even did that! So why was he trying to fight?
"I'm not weak! You hear me, child!" Infinite yelled, charging after him. "You won't defeat me! I will never lose!"
This time, he was trying to use his legs- which, from personal experience, would be REALLY bad if it connected with his face. Rookie stopped where he was, and put his arms up in a fighting stance.
'Owwwww! Jeez, his kicks are brutal even without those blasted shoes!' Rookie winced as Infinite's kick nailed him in his lower arm. That was sure to leave a bruise, for sure.
'Wait... he's chanting that mantra again.' Rookie clued in as he tried to dodge Infinite's punches and kicks. 'He's not weak, and I'm well aware of that! So why he trying to attack me!? I didn't even show him what I wanted to show him!'
"RAUUUUGGGGHHHH! DIE! DIE!"
Rookie was pretty sure that he was out of options- Infinite's hand was pretty busted from that one punch, and his arms were bruised from the number of power kicks he was blocking. He wasn't trying to fight, but he wasn't too sure he had a lot of options left.
'Dammit! Infinite, what's going on with you?!' Rookie dodged and lept over the broken dining room table, grabbing a broken table leg as he ran for the stairs. He could use the leg as a weapon-even though he really couldn't understand Infinite's sudden fury. As Infinite rushed after him, yelling like death was coming, Rookie gripped the broken table leg, reared back, and swung at Infinite with all the strength he could muster.
The leg connected with Infinite's right side, and he fell to his knees. The force of the blow left him winded and dizzy, and before he realized what was happening, he was falling backwards- down the stairs.
Rookie reached out and tried to grab Infinite's hand to pull him upright. While he missed his wrist, he was able to grab three of his fingers and tugged on them hard. As he inched closer, he tugged hard on his arm and tumbled to the ground with him curling up in pain.
With Infinite now out of danger, Rookie could run back downstairs, get his cell phone and straighten this whole thing out.
"Ooooohhh… hunh…" Infinite groaned in discomfort as he opened his eyes. He was on the living room couch, and when he felt his sides, he let out a yelp- his right side was on fire!
"What just happened...?" He wondered as he looked around, spotting Rookie sitting on the ground. He was staring at his phone and hadn't realized that Infinite was up- until he let out that undignified yelp.
Rookie whirled around at the sound, and Infinite noticed his expression- Rookie looked a mix of relieved and confused. The wolf's hands gingerly hovered over his injured right side and pulled Infinite's hands away so he could feel for any damage.
Infinite was fighting the urge to push Rookie away- why was he here?! But he forced his arms down and let Rookie check him out. As soon as he moved away from him, Infinite's tail began curling around him. Leaning back, Rookie picked up his phone and started typing away. Infinite looked down at a particular spot on the couch, his hand absently resting on his ribs.
'I can breathe, even though it kind of hurts. What was I doing... what was I thinking?'
Infinite felt a tap on his arm and came face to face with the phone screen. 'What was that? What happened? You broke the table and I had to swing at you just to get you to stop! Is everything okay? Was it a nightmare or something?'
If it was possible, Infinite's intense focus on the spot on the couch would have burned a hole through it. Rookie waited for him to answer.
"I... I don't know..." he finally admitted. "I was angry and then... I blacked out." Nodding in acceptance, Rookie then began to type something else. As he typed, Infinite finally blinked- his eyes were burning from trying to block out what Rookie was trying to ask- and shifted around on the couch trying to make himself comfortable.
After ten minutes and a lot of editing, Rookie cradled the phone in Infinite's hands and tapped the top of the phone, telling him to read the message. Infinite was a bit surprised- for as long as Rookie took to type the thing, it sure was short.
'Infinite... please. I really need you to read this whole thing.
Me and you have been living in this place for almost two weeks. And during this time, I've wondered so much about you. Your past, your family, your squad... just you in general. I want to understand things from your point of view because, frankly, I don't. You confuse me as much as you intrigue me, Infinite.
I don't know what the heck just happened. One second you're trying to talk to me, the next... you're trying to attack me as if we were enemies. I never thought of you as weak, Infinite. I'm not mad, I don't hate you- I would never go through all that hassle to save you if I was mad at you!'
Infinite paused at that line. His fingers were trembling a little. Rookie noticed he stopped scrolling and placed a hand on his shoulder. His eyes were large and full of worry, and it was making the jackal feel uncomfortable- more so than when he first started.
"I... I know." Infinite said quietly. "I know you don't hate me, but I can't bring myself to believe that! It's... hard." Infinite admitted. Rookie tilted his head and tapped his phone again, telling Infinite to keep reading.
'I have so many questions I want to ask you. But I know you still aren't ready to open up to me. So instead, I want to know one thing. Just one thing.
How did you end up with your name?'
Infinite was stunned. All the questions in the world, all the things he probably crafted in his mind, and he asks... that? He let the phone rest in his lap and looked Rookie dead in his eyes.
"You really want to know about my name...?" Infinite repeated. "... seriously, you are a strange child." Rookie nodded, ignoring the side remark, and picked up his phone, scrolled down and typed a quick sentence.
'I know it's weird. And random. But you are the only jackal alive, and with a name like that... I bet there's a story behind it.'
Infinite let out a half-hearted chuckle and shrugged. He sat up, struggling to ignore the pain flaring up from his bruised right side. Rookie had his arms out, ready to catch Infinite at a moment's notice, but the jackal swatted him away.
"Child, I can move just fine." Rookie ignored that and kept his arms close to him until he was comfortable, then propped the couch throw pillow behind his back. Infinite sank into it, the pain lessening from his ribs as he thought about what he'd just been asked.
"My name... I don't think I've ever got asked that before." Infinite mused. "But before I answer that, first answer a question of mine: Why does this matter? Why do you care about any detail of my existence?"
Rookie took his phone from his lap and scrolled up a little, then placed the phone in Infinite's hand. 'Because you're my friend. At least... I see you as my friend. I... I used to hate you, and I didn't think you had a heart, a soul, even a sense of morals. I thought you were evil, pure evil. But since I've saved you... I've come to realize you're not evil. You're just... mysterious.'
Infinite stared at that for a moment. "...I'm not evil... you say?" He closed his eyes.
"Then why do I feel like I'm... doing something wrong?"
Rookie took the phone and typed something, then rested the phone on Infinite's lap. Infinite opened his eyes and looked at the screen.
'You're still not used to opening up to others. I didn't want to push you and ask something personal, you know?'
"I understand..." Infinite inhaled and winced as he exhaled- his ribs still hurt. Rookie was really worried about that- maybe he shouldn't have ran after him trying to punch his lights out?
"Fine, child. I guess I can answer your question." Infinite almost chuckled when he saw Rookie's eyes light up. He moved his legs over to the right as Rookie decided to sit down on the couch. Infinite felt that weird feeling in his chest again- why did he have to sit so close to him? Why is this so important?
"I was born on Mobius, in a small jackal pack on the outskirts of this city. I never had any siblings- my mom and dad only had me." Infinite sighed and looked up at the ceiling as he told his tale.
"For the first two years of my life, I... I think I was normal. My parents chose to stay in our home- apparently it was more... customs for jackals to move from place to place. But my mom... she wanted to raise me in a single place. Somewhere safe. She felt safe- my dad often brought food and stuff home, and she was always cleaning and taking care of me."
Infinite looked at Rookie, then tapped his cheek just below his right eye. "My mother had golden eyes, and my father had blue. She thinks it was a miracle that I ended up with both of them- ha." Infinite lowered his hand and shook his head. "Miracle, she said. Seriously, some luck I had..."
He shifted a little. "When I turned five, my dad took me out to show me how a jackal should live. I don't really remember too much from that. Just... being cold. And afraid. I wanted to go home, to be with my mom. To be honest... I thought that was the night my father was going to kill me."
As Infinite spoke, Rookie could easily see how uncomfortable he was with this whole thing. His hands were clenched together, his eyes were looking everywhere but him, and he was constantly stopping and trying to find his words. He was also soft spoken and nervous, but he was holding it in as much as possible.
"I... think he wanted someone... better. I was not sickly, so to speak... but I was never fast or strong like he wanted. I was constantly around my mother. She was... always warm and loving, even when I didn't deserve it. As for my father... he stopped paying attention to me when I turned eight, and by the time I was twelve... we were at each other's throats."
Rookie subconsciously reached for his throat at the mention of the word. Infinite stared at him, not saying a word. After an uncomfortable pause, Infinite slowly reached out and wrapped his hand about Rookie's wrist, being gentle with the process.
"I... I'm sorry. For doing this... I let... the power of that damn Phantom Ruby control me, and... I was powerless to stop it." He cursed his trembling- why can't he control it?!
Rookie shook his head clear of the daze he was in, and realizing what Infinite said and what he was doing, he slowly reached for his phone and held it up to him.
'I forgave you, Infinite. I forgave you the moment I had found you dying in that lab. You aren't the only one whose life was twisted and ruined by that evil doctor. You're not the only one... and I wish you would understand that.'
Infinite felt his chest constricting as the wolf carefully removed his hand and rested it gingerly on his lap. 'No... dammit, don't you DARE start crying!' Infinite turned away as much as he could and composed himself.
Something about those words struck him... maybe Rookie really, really meant everything he'd ever said to him. "Y-you... you really... mean it. This whole time..." Infinite whispered, more to himself than anything. Rookie tapped his arm, then pointed at the phone.
'Could you tell me the rest of your story?' he had typed out. Infinite looked down at the question and nodded; he didn't really think he could tell him every single detail, but this whole opening up thing... it was getting a little bit easier... maybe.
"My father believed that I... was... an abomination, to put it simply. He believed that I would bring nothing but ruin and destruction around me, that I was this great big evil deity that only wanted people to suffer." Infinite was growing angry, his hand clenched into a fist. "He thought that I killed my own mother, that I would not only bring her harm, but that I wanted to bathe in her blood. He had gone insane... and tried to kill me because of that."
Rookie saw that bringing those words into existence was starting to upset Infinite, much more than he expected. He tried to rub his shoulders in order to relax him. 'Maybe it was too soon. This is really... messed up. Why would any father actually blame the death of a parent on their own child?! That must've traumatized him so much...'
Infinite was getting a headache from having to actually tell his story. His head buried in his hand, he took a couple of deep breaths. This was far worse than the guilt he was drowning in for so long. "I never... I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to her... I was fourteen... he didn't even tell me she was murdered until we BURIED her!" he suddenly cried out.
'I want to know how... I want to know what he must've grown up thinking until now... but right now, his emotions... he doesn't have a good handle on it. I don't want to push him. Maybe he's been fighting to get a grip on his emotions since he was a child. I wonder... is that why the Phantom Ruby controlled him so easily?'
"My father gave me the name Infinite." He finally answered the main question. This was going on too long; Infinite hated that he was even talking about something he tried for years to forget.
"Once I was born, and he saw my eyes... he said that I was some weird 'duality'." Infinite scoffed as the memory became crystal clear to him. "He said that my golden eye was the good in me from my mother, and my blue eye was from him. As I got older and stronger, he... he didn't have faith in me, or love for his only son. He believed that I was lost to the darkness he truly felt I inherited from him, especially since it was my fault my mother was gone."
Rookie reached for his phone, but Infinite grabbed his hand. "Don't... please, don't. I just... I need to say this." Rookie let his fingers uncurl and relaxed his hand, nodding in understanding.
"My mother always believed that I was good. That I would grow into a jackal worthy, do some form of decency in the world. My father... hated my guts. So he decided to pick something that suited my endless darkness... and that's how I was known as Infinite."
Rookie frowned. Something about that story didn't make sense; there were more questions coming up than answers! But he moved away as Infinite finally decided to try and sit more upright, even though he was wincing and hissing in discomfort the entire time. He grabbed his phone.
'Infinite... that's not the entire story. Is it.'
The jackal looked at the message, then flicked his eyes to the wolf. "No... it's not." he stated, his eyes glowing with annoyance.
Rookie wasn't too fazed; he figured that Infinite wasn't too ready to share the full story with him, judging by the expression he was being graced with. Still, he at least answered one of the more... pressing questions he'd been wondering about. So he would be content with that for now.
'Can I ask you another question? Do you believe you're evil?' Infinite glanced at the phone for just a second before he looked at the broken pieces of table in front of him.
"I... I don't really... know anymore." He sighed. "It's so damn frustrating to figure that out..."
Rookie nodded and typed a quick sentence. 'I think... Infinite suits you.'
"Of course." he scoffed. "Only a child like you could-"
Rookie scrolled up and showed him the rest. 'I think... Infinite suits you. You have so many options in your life, and even though the war happened, even with whatever else happened in your life... you kept pushing on. Who knows where you will end up... only you do.
I dunno… maybe it's because I'm new to this, but... Infinite the Jackal. It suits you perfectly.'
Rookie smiled as Infinite's facial expression finally softened from that hard, angry face he often wore. Rookie typed one more thing and held up his phone.
'I know it's not easy. But you're a fighter... and I don't think you got that from your parents.'
"You..." Not sure how to phrase what he truly wanted to say yet, he settled on, "You are so strange, child." Infinite smirked- a little one, but far better than when he first came to live with Rookie.
Both wolf and jackal sat in silence, each processing what had been spoken and their own thoughts inside their heads. Then Infinite looked at the wolf, curious about one thing he typed.
"When you said that... I wasn't the only one whose life was ruined by the damn doctor... who else were you referring to?"
Rookie looked at his screen nervously, his fingers hovering over his keyboard. He kept typing, then deleting what he typed and retyped the answer, as if he were unsure of what to say. Finally, Rookie held up his phone, but he made sure not to look at Infinite in the face. He knew how Infinite would more than likely take the response and he tensed, hoping a rerun of what happened earlier wouldn't happen again.
'I was talking about Sonic the Hedgehog and his friends.'
And complete! I know this was a strange chapter, and I'm hoping you all were able to see where I was going with this. This was also the longest chapter to date as well... so I know there's some editing that was missed. If you need clarification, let me know in the reviews or PM and I will be happy to explain it in the AN of the next to last chapter, or personally. Yes, there will be two more chapters. I think everyone will enjoy the wrap up to this little project.
As always, please let know if you have questions, comments, good advice, the usual.
Until next chapter!