Whew! I'm really working hard here! Consecutive chapters in succeeding days! Anyway, I know I have a lot to make up for so here's another one to make up for my negligence the past month. =)

Chapter 12-Hollow, That's What I Am

TORI's POV

I feel bad that I didn't reply to anymore of Beck's message but I just really want to be alone right now. I know I will definitely need the presence of my friends later on but right now I just want to think for myself without them trying so hard to make me see the brighter side of the situation or to look at the glass half full. In all honesty, right now, I feel empty. Not even a single drop of fullness. I just watched the boy I love rip my heart out. I'm not angry at him or anything. I don't know if I'm hurt actually. I can't put these emotions into words. I can't describe what I'm feeling except the hollowness that's taking up every inch of my being. I don't even think I'm angry at Jade for causing this entire thing. I don't even blame her for what's happening because it was an accident that she hit Ryder.

I look around and find myself sitting on a bench at a nearby playground. I'm only a few kilometres from my house but at least there's some distance just in case any of my friends drop by to check on me. I didn't even notice that the rain has weakened and is almost about done pouring on my supposed to be great day. My phone vibrated again in my pocket. I really don't want to look at it but it might be my family telling me when they'll be back. I dug in my pocket and pulled my phone out. It's fogging inside since it got wet in the rain.

Andre: Where are you? I'm really worried.

Next message. I'll come home when I want to.

Cat: Tori, Andre and Beck are looking for you. I heard something happened at the hospital. I'm really worried so if you need a slumber party, I'll stay over with you.

That's a nice thought. I can definitely use some of Cat's contagious resilience. I even have a message from Robbie.

Robbie: Tori, we're really worried about you. It's not like you to be taking everything on your own. Please call anyone of us.

Last message was from Beck.

Beck: Tori, I've been to your house, your hill and everywhere else I could think of but I still don't know where you are. I don't know if you're safe or some weird dude mugged you so if you don't call us soon or come home, we'll call the police. Just to make sure you're safe. I don't want to think that the next time I see you is when the cops find you lying dead in a gutter somewhere downtown. I don't want that to happen but it could. So please call me or come home. We're here.

Whoa, no need to involve the authorities in my personal problems. But I know Beck and Andre will call the cops if I don't come home or at least call them. Going home sounds like a good idea now that I'm all wet and soggy. I get up and grab my bag from the bench I was sitting on and started walking up the path to my house. It took me about 20 minutes to get home. I turn the key and unlock the front door. They were all sitting in my living room. I smile at them weakly and headed up my room. I stripped my clothes off, tied my hair into a messy bun and stepped in my shower. The hot water felt so good against my cold skin. Goose bumps went up my spine and for the first time today, I felt pain. I hugged myself under the shower and tried to calm myself. I can do this. I know I can. Robbie is right. It's not like me to be holding onto something like this on my own. I have great friends who would hold my hand throughout this entire screwed up mess they call life. They will be here for me. Anyways, it's almost summer and then I'm off to film with Beck. That ought to take my mind off of things if they stay the same or get worse. My family will be home in two days and everything will be alright. Whether or not Ryder remembers me, my family and friends will help me get over him. I finished washing myself and stepped out of my glass shower into the towel littered floor of my spacious bathroom. I grab my purple bathrobe hanging on the door and put it on. I found Cat sitting on my bed when I left my bathroom. Cat stood up, ran towards me and hugged me tight. I guess Beck told them what happened. I hugged her back and smiled against her hair that smells like rich vanilla.

"Tori, everything's going to be okay." She was making soothing circle patterns on my back.

"I know, Cat. I was just surprised. That's all. Things like this happen a lot in accidents."

"Yeah, it does. But it's not-" Cat covers her mouth with a hand.

"It's not what, Cat?"

Cat shook her head. "Nothing, Tori. I forgot what I was going to say."

Well, Cat does do that a lot. I smile and gave her another hug.

"So did you bring clothes? You won't have time to change in your house. We'll be late for school."

"Yeah. I figured you'd want me around tonight."

"Let me get changed and we'll hang out downstairs, okay?"

Cat nods her head and skips out of my room. I wish I was like Cat. She was always happy and it never takes much to cheer her up. I walked towards my closet and grabbed my black HA track shorts. I put it on along with my purple long sleeved shirt. I push my feet in my brown Eskimo boots and headed downstairs.

"Hey guys! How's it going?" Wow, that sounded so unnatural.

They all turned their heads to look at me. I smiled at them trying to show them that I'm okay. My thoughts were sidetracked when I felt a grumble coming from my stomach. I walked over to the kitchen and check the fridge. There was nothing that piqued my hungry appetite. I grabbed the phone and headed to the living room. I plopped myself in between Beck and Andre.

"You guys want pizza? How does pepperoni and sausage sound?"

I looked around the room waiting for their answer. Beck answered for everyone.

"Sounds good. You want me to get some drinks?"

"No. I have some cans of root beer in the fridge."

Cat jumped up.

"I love root beer! But I don't want to get drunk."

"Cat, root beer isn't made of beer so you won't get drunk drinking it." Robbie explained.

"Hey, Robbie, where's Rex?" Andre let out a sigh and then smiled.

"Well, he said Rex is sick."

I raised an eyebrow. How can a puppet get sick? Beck chuckled beside me. I dialled the Toni's pizza and recited my order. I put the phone down and leaned back. Beck was on my left and Andre was on the other side. They were all quiet. I know they were expecting me to say something. Beck stood up and went to the kitchen.

"So I'm guessing you guys know what happened in the hospital seeing that you're all here."

They all nodded in agreement and so did I. I caught the weird glances Cat, Robbie and Andre shared. Do they want to say something but thought better of it? Well, if they wanted to share it, they will. Beck sat back down after handing out cans of root beer.

"It's a really stupid question but how are you feeling?" Andre asked me as he sat up straight to turn to me. He popped his can open and took a sip.

"Well, I don't really know how to translate what I'm feeling. I'm shocked that's for sure. But other than that, everything else hasn't sunk in yet."

"Things are really complicated right now, huh?" Robbie said.

I smiled and nodded. Everyone else popped their can open.

"What really surprised me is Ryder waking up and thinking that Jade's his girlfriend."

Andre spit out his soda all over the coffee table. I scrunched my nose.

"He what?!" He asked as he wiped his chin with the back of his hand.

"Yup. He thinks he's been dating Jade. He said he doesn't really remember me."

Cat and Robbie were the exact mirror of Andre's shocked face. Beck's the only one who didn't react. I guess he found out when he went in to talk to Jade. He was very quiet but I was positive that something was going through his mind. I took a sip of my cold soda.

"Andre's nose is dripping with root beer." Cat pointed out. I got up to fetch a rag and a napkin for Andre. I handed it to him and Beck grabbed the rag from my hand and started wiping down Andre's soda spit.

"I don't know what to say, Tori. I don't understand how things can happen like this so sudden." Robbie looked like he was about to cry.

"Me too. I mean the other day, Ryder hits me, then Jade jumped to conclusions about me and Beck, then I punched Jade square on the face, then Ryder gets into an accident then this."

"What? Ryder hit you? And you punched Jade?" Cat asked. She's so cute when she's shocked. Her brows meet upwards in the middle. I just nodded.

"Well, Tori, you have us. We got your back through this." Andre rubbed my back as he said this. They all smiled at me.

"Thanks guys. Thing is, I'm not even mad at Jade or even at Ryder. I just feel really...really...what's the word? Hollow. But Robbie is right. It's not like me to be taking the weight on my own. I have you guys."

I looked down on my soda can. Beck and Andre put their arm around me and in a short while I was wrapped in a very warm group hug. I tried to hug all of them at once but couldn't. We broke off the hug when the door bell rang. Beck paid for the pizza and I switched on the TV. There were so many things interesting about the movie SAW 3 but nothing about the bloody scene took my mind off what took place today. I felt Beck glance and stare at me a few times through the movie. I put my head on his shoulder to assure him. I was hungry but I didn't even finish half of my slice. Cat screamed once every now and then when the scene got too scary. Robbie screamed more often than Cat did. I usually get affected by movies like this but it didn't matter to me because the pain I feel is worse than the pain the people in the movie felt when they're limbs got sawed off. I feel like my heart was ripped out then ground then mashed together to form whatever shape it is now. The movie ended with Cat sitting on Robbie's lap, Robbie gnawing on his knuckles trying to stifle a scream, Andre snoring beside me and Beck leaning on the back rest with his arm across it. I really want to just have some quiet to myself so I let out a fake yawn. It was only nine but I'm emotionally exhausted.

"Guys, you can stay as long as you want. Just make sure you lock the front door when you leave. Thanks for keeping me company but I'm going to bed. See you at school tomorrow. Cat, you can sleep beside me when you get sleepy. Night guys."

They all smiled at me except Beck. I walked up the stairs and into my room. I brushed my teeth to get rid of the meaty taste in my mouth and ran a brush through my hair. I walked over my dresser to put on my teeth whiteners and stopped when I saw the picture of me and Ryder posing by my locker. This was taken after he gave me flowers for our first month. I found it really cheesy but thought it was sweet. I look at it for a while longer before I laid it face down. I tucked myself in and lay on my left side so I was facing the window. The night was really clear after the rain. I could see the stars and the moon big and bright. I put my hands under my pillow. I closed my eyes and let a lonely tear escape out of my eye. I was drifting to sleep when I felt someone kiss the tear away. That spot felt so warm and the kiss smelled so nice. It's like it was the only part of my numb body that could feel. The kiss was so soft it felt like a butterfly landed on my cheek and then fluttered away. I wanted to open my eyes but I was afraid that it was a dream but as soon as the warmth started to fade from my cheek, the same warm lips pressed another kiss on my temple. I smiled then surrendered myself to drift completely.

A/N: *sniff* I feel Tori's pain. What will happen next? Will Andre tell Beck eventually? What will Tori do next? I bet you guys know who gave Tori a butterfly kiss. I know I wrote the story but I can't help but squeal inside! More coming soon!