Hey guys! I know most of you hate me now for disappearing for so long. But hopefully this chapter will get you guys to like me again even just a little bit SORRRRYYYYYYY Readers and enjoy!

Chapter 15 – Three words: What the Heck?!

TORI's POV

It was unfair for me to do that to Beck. He literally confessed his feeling for me but I'm just not ready to take anything else in. I feel so much pain that even just by closing my eyes; I feel burning pain through my body. I never knew that I loved Ryder this much. I didn't know that I was going to hurt this much. It feels like I might break anytime. Well, I kinda broke a bit when Beck sang me his song earlier. It felt so good to hear it but also scary at the same time. Since when has he felt that way about me? So it wasn't just me who felt the surge of electricity whenever we hugged in the school hallways, whenever he puts his arm around me or whenever we sit beside each other at lunch? I always denied it because I didn't want to develop feelings for him, but it's too late now. I'm not sure what I feel for Beck but I'm definitely developing more intense feeling for him.

We sat in front of his wide screen LED TV with plates of homemade pizza on our laps. Beck put on Breakfast Club before we started to devour his homemade pizza. It was seriously good. Better than the delivered ones I'd have to say. We sat close to each other in silence, our attention on the movie. Beck leaned his head back on the couch after setting his plate down on the coffee table. I looked at him but he didn't look at me. The air feels so wrong. Is he angry that I friend zoned him? I'm sure he understands but I owe him an explanation. I haven't smiled, eaten properly nor did anything healthy in days. He was the one who kept me going. He made me smile just an hour ago in the kitchen. He even wrote me a song that melted my heart and helped me release my hurt. I felt better after crying like a baby in front of him but he didn't probe or anything. He just waited patiently not like Ryder who usually forced me to talk. Then when he looked at me, I saw so much care and tenderness. What's going on? Then when we came back downstairs, he stayed quiet. Know what? Whatever. I grabbed the remote from the table and hit the pause button. He didn't even react. I muster up the courage to speak.

"Why are you quiet?" My voice almost broke but I kept it steady. Beck let out a sigh.

"No reason. I'm just thinking." Beck kept his eyes on the screen.

I don't know how to talk to him. I know that we both know what each other is thinking about. I look at my hands and started picking on my nail.

"Beck, please talk to me. I know I hurt you."

Beck held his breath. He sat up and shifted so he's facing me. He tucked his right leg under him and put his arm against the couch.

"What do you want me to say, Tori?"

"I don't know, just talk to me. What was that in your room?"

It took him a while to respond. When he finally did, I looked up only to trap myself in his intense gaze.

"I think you know what happened there, Tori. What I don't understand is if you feel the same way or not. Tell me straight so we can go back to the way things were before an hour ago."

I looked back down. I was so nervous at what I was about to tell him but I just hope he understands.

"We can never go back to how things were before."

"What do you mean? Are you angry at me?"

"I wish I was. That would have been easier but I feel the opposite of angry." I smiled. Beck chuckled and took my hand. He brought it to his lips and kissed it. I couldn't understand how such a small contact could send enormous tingles all over my body.

"Tori, you have no idea how happy I am right now."

"Beck, I don't want you to get your hopes up. I'm a total mess right now."

"A mess that I'm willing to help put back into shape."

My heart did a skip.

"You wouldn't want to be with me right now, Beck."

"I wouldn't want you any other way."

"What you saw back there was just a fraction of the mess I am right now. I'm not going to put you in that spot all the time Beck. Who knows how long will it take for me to get over this?"

"I wasn't asking for your permission. I just had to make sure you feel the same. If you didn't I would stay as your friend but now that I know how you feel, you have no choice."

"Beck, we can't. I can't."

"You can't what?"

"I can't treat you as a rebound. I need to get this fixed first."

"Who said you're treating me as a rebound? Don't tell me your feelings only changed because of what happened with Ryder. The relationship between us is still the same. There are only minor changes."

"Minor changes? Like what?"

Before I could say anything else, I felt his lips on mine. His lips were full of passion and love. I closed my eyes and basked in the feeling that Beck's giving me. His kisses are so tender and so different from the ones in rehearsal. He let out all the feeling he was holding in then. I thought that was the best it could get but this time was just unexplainable. I seemed to feel different sensations at the same time and my mind was drunk with his presence. He pulled away then laid soft kisses on my lips again and again.

"Minor changes like that. I'm still your best friend but a best friend who can love you like that."

I was so speechless. My mind wasn't forming any coherent answers.

"Beck, I just need time."

"You can have all the time in the world. I'll be waiting."

"What do we do about Ryder and Jade? We're both in a committed relationship."

"No, I'm not."

My eyes bugged out. He's not with Jade anymore? Why didn't he tell me?

"What do you mean?"

"Jade and I aren't together. We cooled off but it seems like we won't be getting back together. The way she looks at me now is really different and I can tell that this is the chance she needed to get out without hurting me."

"I still have Ryder."

He grabbed my waist and shifted me so I'm facing him. I tucked both of my legs under me.

"I know things are very hard for you right now and I'll do everything I can to help you through this but what are you going to do if Ryder never remembers you again? Don't tell me you're just going to stick around hurting until the day comes that he remembers you. The doctors say his brain is okay but trauma does that and it may be permanent. You have the right to be happy."

"I don't know what I'm going to do, Beck. I do want to be happy but I don't want to commit to anything just in case Ryder gets his memories back. I don't want him to think that I gave up on him that easily."

Beck shifted again and leaned back on the couch with a loud sigh. I took his hand and he looked at me.

"I'm not saying I don't want to be with you. It's too late for me to try to stay away from you but I just need to give this time."

"I understand, Tori. But always remember that I'm here if you need anything, okay?"

I slouched back down the couch and tucked myself under his arm.

"Thanks, Beck." He tightened his arm around me and I felt his lips on my hair.

"Anytime, Love."

Beck drove me home around 10 o'clock. He gave me a loving peck on the cheek before I headed inside. As soon as the door closed behind me, I leaned against it and replayed the entire evening in my mind. Gosh, I have no idea what's happening but I feel so good. Then Ryder pops into my mind and the good feeling went away instantly. I just got to figure this out. I've already accepted the fact that I have feelings for Beck, but that doesn't make it right. I still have a responsibility to whatever relationship Ryder and I have. Things are getting messier but if I have Beck, and of course my friends and family, by my side, I'll be okay. Tomorrow is another day. I went up to my room and texted Ryder.

Me: Hope ur feeling better.

I wasn't expecting him to reply but he did after five minutes.

Ryder: Stop it, Tori. Seriously, you're just all the more confusing my already very confused mind.

I held my breath in. He really doesn't remember me. I already accepted that but it doesn't make it hurt any less.

Me: Sorry. I won't bother you anymore. I do have a favor. Check under your mattress.

I hit send then turned off my phone. I'm changing my number tomorrow. I flopped on my bed and laid my arm on my forehead. I don't understand this mess anymore. Why did it have to happen to me? I mean I'm not wishing this to happen to someone else but why did this have to happen at all? What the heck am I going to do?

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! I got giddy writing this because now they finally admitted their feelings for each other! Aaaaahhhh! Next chapter filled with new excitement and coming soon!=) keep reading and following! BTW, if you could, please follow me on twitter abbyfoss=) Thanks!=)