Chapter 99

The weekend approached and I was already losing it. I had to occupy my time. Nick was keeping Juliette company all this weekend. She was getting him all to herself, and Monroe was getting me all to himself, which meant Nick and I were off limits to one another as we figured out these feelings. The separation thing was already eating at me by the end of Friday. I'd worked from home, and even at the Tao of Tea, my concentration was at a low.

On Saturday morning I sweated off my thoughts with Monroe in Bikram. Miss Intimidation was pleased to see me again, and she worked me to the core. Literally. My core burned like an inferno during our workout. Thoughts of Nick tried to penetrate my brain, but I pushed them away. I channeled my frustrations while doing the Downward Dog. When that didn't work, I went to Monroe's after class and did some real Downward Dog instead.

By that afternoon I was fidgety, so I visited Rosalee at the spice shop for something for anxiety.

She measured out two scoops of passionflower tea. "This may help ease the symptoms," she said with a smile. "Anything you want to talk about?" she offered a friendly ear.

"No," I waved it off. "Just stress at work." I blamed many things on work. It was my scapegoat. "How's Benny's mom?" I asked to take the subject off me.

"I saw her this morning," Rosalee replied. "She's much better. By Monday she ought to be able to resume work, which she seemed more than eager to do."

"That's wonderful news!" I exclaimed. "Thank you again for taking the time to help." I pulled open my shoulder bag. "How much was the medication, so I can pay you for it?"

Rosalee waved her hands as she shook her head. "No charge. It was my pleasure to help her out."

"Are you sure?" I asked, handing her the cash for the tea.

"Absolutely," she insisted. "My father taught me that one good deed is worth gold."

"Dads can be pretty wise sometimes," I replied. And sometimes they can hold crazy secrets, too.

Rosalee's cell rang, and she pulled it out of her pocket. She beamed as she stared at the display then looked up at me. "It's Pete."

I held up the bag of tea. "Thanks for this and I'll let you have some privacy." I gathered my shoulder bag and keys off the counter as Rosalee answered the phone, greeting Pete.

"Have a good day, Renée." She said as she held the receiver with her hand.

I pointed toward the phone and grinned. "Tell him, 'Hi' for me."

She nodded, and I turned and left the shop. Hopefully this tea would help me.

(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)

After four cups of tea, I worked on painting the upstairs guest rooms in an attempt to keep my mind from obsessing, and to keep my hands busy from dialing Nick's number. The project helped, but the tea didn't. Nothing completely prevented the feelings from lingering. On and on… Brushstrokes brought on thoughts of stroking other things. We were excellent at kissing, but other things would be better. No… We needed to wait for other things. Too early to go there, yet… But soon. It needed to be soon.

Kelly Clarkson played downstairs as I painted.

"It's like I can't breathe.
It's like I can't see anything.
Nothing but you.
I'm addicted to you.
It's like I can't think,
Without you interrupting me.
In my thoughts,
In my dreams,
You've taken over me.
It's like I'm not me.
It's like I'm not me…"

I wasn't myself. The small voice in my head spoke up. 'No, this isn't you. You're going down the wrong path. You love Monroe.' I squelched the small voice flat and shoved it back in its mental drawer. No, I loved Nick. No matter how much I loved Monroe, his humanity was never completely intact. Nick's was. I shook my head. No… But that didn't matter. If that were the case, I'd have left Monroe long ago. That was a poor excuse for my feelings. There was no excuse. Nick was just taking over and I couldn't stop thinking about him. Excuses aside, I was so smitten and addicted.

Once the upstairs was fully painted, I took a long shower. My thoughts went back to Nick, imagining him and I together as my hands traced down my body. I pretended he was the one caressing me, fondling me, bringing me to climax as I moaned loudly in my shower. I was panting once I emerged, pulling a towel around me, and falling back on my bed. No, that had just made it worse. Now all I was thinking about was sex. I needed it, craved it. Finally in an effort to get my mind off sex, I had sex again with my feisty, lusty Blutbad. He came over immediately and I came immediately afterward.

As we caught our breaths, I felt a bit better. These feelings were like a drug, and Monroe was the hit I needed to ebb the cravings. It wasn't exactly what I wanted, but Monroe sure knew how to make it work out in my favor. Sex with Monroe temporarily corked it all. While I was with him, thoughts of Nick were plugged up in his own little bottle and hidden from my mind. Afterward, however, the cork would pop open and he'd saturate my thoughts once again. This weekend was gonna be hard, and I was already drowning.

"You're a bit insatiable today," commented Monroe with a sly grin as I rolled over, running my hands through his chest hair while trying not to imagine it was Nick's chest.

"Maybe Bikram is doing something to me," I chuckled. No, Nick was doing something to me. Something crazy… Something awful… Why did Juliette get him this weekend? Dammit.

"Then we definitely need to keep going to class together," Monroe replied, leaning up to kiss my forehead.

"That won't be a problem," I sighed. Miss intimidation wouldn't let me forget my promise.

(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)

That night, while Monroe was sleeping soundly, I received one, single text from Nick.

I MISS YOU

I didn't text back. If I texted then I'd want to talk to him, and if I talked to him, then I'd want to see him, and if I saw him, well then… It would be absolutely wonderful.

(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)

By Sunday afternoon I'd already added a second coat of paint to the upstairs, mopped floors, scrubbed the kitchen and the bathroom, dusted, vacuumed, and polished all the wood in the house. If I wasn't able to see Detective Sexy, then at least my house was going to be immaculate.

After cleaning, I pulled out my violin and played Tchaikovsky's melancholic Symphony No.6 in B Minor. I was feeling a bit 'Pathétique' today, so the title of the symphony fit the mood well.

Dire Straits rang out from my phone on the coffee table, halting my violin and my breath. I raced over to answer it as the butterflies in my stomach swirled around.

"Nick," I breathed.

"Renée." The way my name passed from his sexy lips to my ears sent a warmth down my body...way down my body. "I had to call… I needed to talk to you. You're all I've been thinking about, even in my dreams, it's you. I just…"

"I know. I miss you something awful, too," I finished for him. "Meet me at the trailer. I'll be there in twenty minutes."

"I can't," he said slowly. "I shouldn't even be calling you right now. Juliette's in the other room, and…"

"Oh, Nick," I practically moaned as I set my violin down. "You shouldn't have called. This is torture, you know that?"

"I know, but I wanted to hear your voice just for a moment."

"Well, now you have, so hang up before she walks in."

"I'll see you tomorrow, I promise," he whispered.

"I'm counting on it," I replied and the phone clicked off.

Dammit. Now I wanted to see him. Why did he have to call? I picked up my violin and played Hinder's 'Lips of an Angel' as I paced the floors.

"It's funny that you're calling me tonight.
And yes, I dreamt of you, too.
And does she know you're talking to me?
Will it start a fight?
No, I don't think he has a clue…

And I,
Never wanna say goodbye.
But boy, you make it hard to be faithful,
With the lips of a…"

…sexy detective. A really, hot, sexy… My bow screeched across the strings. Dammit! My cell rang again, startling me out of my smoldering thoughts. I looked down at the display from the coffee table. Chloe. That bunny of mine always knew when to call.

"How's the vacation?" I asked as I answered, putting away my violin.

"I think I'm going to move here," she giggled. "I don't want to leave the ocean or the beach."

"Or the guys?" I asked. The direct link to her brain said that was helping, too.

"Well, there's one here that already said I could live with him," she dreamily sighed. "Girl, talk me out of it, but not too much 'cause he's got a body like Thor."

"Thor? Oh, gee, you sure you want me to talk you out of it?"

"The kids back home need guidance," she chanted aloud a few times.

"Your wisdom can't be replaced. The kids will thank you later and Thor will just get old and saggy."

Chloe laughed. "You might be right. The man can kick back beers like they're water. In a few years his six pack will turn into a keg."

"Thor with a keg does not make for a pretty picture."

"Speaking of horrible pictures, should I even ask about your love triangle?" Chloe questioned, changing the subject.

"Umm…"

"Great. So, let me guess… You haven't made any choices, and Monroe is still in the dark. So, while you and The Grimm Wonder have been having afternoon delights in the trailer behind his back, he's stuck at home, alone with his tofurkey. Am I close?"

"Not even close. No, I haven't made any decisions. But Nick and I aren't having any delights, afternoon or otherwise. Monroe and I had tofurkey together yesterday, actually, and Nick and I took the weekend off from each other, so we can figure out what this is."

"I can tell you what it is. It's fucking stupid, that's what!" she exclaimed. "You need to fucking shut up about the Grimm and quit acting stupid when you have everything you need with Monroe, all nice and gift wrapped with a wolfy bow on top."

"Chloe, I care about Nick." I wasn't about to tell her that we'd said we loved each other. She'd find a way to slap me for sure. "And I know it's not fair to Monroe. I care about him, too. I care about them both, so much."

"It's dangerous, Renée. If the Grimm's girlfriend finds out, you're gonna have a mad-ass woman, bitch-slapping you for stealing her man, and you'll wind up on Jerry Springer. Or worse, Monroe finds out and rips Nick's heart out of his chest in retaliation for you breaking his. That one's less likely to be on Jerry Springer, but you never know with TV nowadays."

"I can honestly say this won't make the airwaves," I groaned at her. "We're being careful. The last thing I want to do is hurt anyone."

The threat Monroe had made about making anyone suffer who took me from him sprang to mind. Chloe might not have been far off. Monroe might really hurt him, and I'd… Oh, God. I didn't want to think about it.

"That's inevitable if you two keep it up," she simply replied as if the direct brain link relayed everything I'd just thought about. "Someone is gonna get hurt, unless by some miracle you and the Grimm end this star-crossed lovers crap now and vow to never speak of it again. If you stop immediately, maybe, just maybe you guys might get away with it. Not that I'm recommending that, but it's the lesser of two evils at this point," she sighed.

"But if I still have feelings for Nick, and if I take your 'sage' advice," (I used finger quotes on 'sage' even if Chloe couldn't see.) "then we can't work in that trailer together… ever again."

She sighed in exasperation. "You can manage. Help the Grimm if you have to, but leave the other stuff to his girlfriend. You know, the woman he lives with? Jesus… And stop using air quotes," she added. Our brain links were uncanny.

"Well, I'm not sure if I'm choosing Monroe," I countered. "Maybe I'll pick Nick and find some way to let Monroe down gently." Gently as in Nick and I run far, far, away and never look back, so Monroe wouldn't kill him.

"Why can't you just listen to me, so I don't have to suffer the cold, Portland weather and leave Thor alone on this gorgeous beach to drink by himself?"

"Stay with Thor. I'll make a decision."

"When?" she asked, incredulously.

"By… next week," I relented.

"Okay, you've time-stamped it. One week. And call me when you choose, so I know who I'm stuck hanging out with when you come home," she forced a chuckle.

"I'll let you know. Do you even have to ask?"

"I'll expect your call. If by next Sunday if you haven't picked one, I'm picking for you, and you'll just have take whomever I choose."

"You'd pick Monroe."

"Team Monroe all the way," she said in a sing song voice. "Oh, which reminds me, I need to figure out my Derby horse this year. It's a shame you aren't coming home in time for the festivities."

"I was going to, but scheduling at work made it impossible to leave."

Thunder over Louisville was last night. It was the first one I'd missed in years. The largest fireworks display in the country skillfully choreographed to music was one of the highlights of the Kentucky Derby extravaganza each year. Sitting on the Waterfront on top of a blanket, surrounded by friends as bursts of colors poured from the barges on the river, was a sight to see. But the music was my favorite part. It would cascade from the speakers and radios of the crowd, vibrating through me and filling my soul in warm waves. There was a small pang in my heart as the homesickness hit. But with Chloe in Florida it wouldn't have been the same anyway. Besides, Derby day was on a full moon, which at the time didn't seem such a great idea to be out of town with Monroe. Maybe next year I'd get my vacation earlier and take… Well, I'd take someone with me to share in the experience.

"Next year, for sure,' said Chloe, as if she read my mind again. "We'll do it up in style."

"Well, at least the crowds will be gone by the time I get back," I said, trying to find a silver lining.

"Yeah. That part of the Derby I can do without. I'm sure they already have some of the ramps to I-65 blocked off. Ugh." She let out a groan. "Well, girl, I really need to go." She mumbled something and a male voice replied, which was followed by Chloe giggling. "Okay, keep me posted on who wins the race to your crazy heart, and I'll keep my bet on Monroe. But chose soon, otherwise you're gonna make a mess that I'll have to help you clean up."

"I'll keep a broom handy just in case."

As I hung up I sighed. Nick's voice echoed through my brain again. Why did he have to call? My heart was getting squished inside this love triangle as it closed in on me. The sharp, pointy edges poked at my soul. Pick one? It was like choosing water over oxygen. Just the thought of one of those men out of my life stabbed at me. I thought about Diana King's lyrics as I collapsed back on the couch, humming.

"Where do I begin?
Two people, just friends.
Feeling more and more,
But it's not where this love story ends.
The situation's strong, then another came along.
Innocent enough, but suddenly it went all wrong.
A love triangle..."

Would it go all wrong like Chloe had predicted? No, I'd buck up, figure out all these crazy feelings, and choose one. One week, no more dawdling.

A/N: The weekend has been harder than both Nick and Renée thought. Kelly Clarkson's addicted fits this situation really well. Not sure if you've noticed but any song I've put with these two have lyrics about obsession, crazy feelings unexplained, or addiction... I'd like to think Renée's subconscious isn't as stupid as she is. It's trying to break through, though.

Also can't have a cheating situation without some "Lips of an Angel" lol

Chloe has tried yet again to talk some sense into her friend. Ah well...

3 more chapters today... (: