In the week following their conversation, Katie had made a concerted effort in trying not to shut Chelsea out again and they even spent Columbus Day together watching movies, talking, and eating ridiculous amounts of ice cream and candy. As she was more able to understand her roommate now, Chelsea could also recognize when Katie needed a friend or a shoulder and when she needed to be left alone.
This particular day was definitely one of those where Katie needed to be left alone. After a fascinating religion class that Katie barely heard a word of, she strode across campus, intent on staking out her spot on the Leavey roof. For all the purpose of her steps, her mind was barely functioning and consequently she stood staring at her spot, and the closely entwined couple within it, for what could have been minutes until her brain actually registered their presence. When it finally caught up to her other senses, she whirled around so quickly her long limbs tangled clumsily and she fell to the ground with a loud, and very painful, thump.
She quickly lifted her head and turned to see if the couple behind her had noticed, but apparently her graceless fall to the grass was not enough to, even for a moment, break the spell that kept their eyes firmly shut and their lips unfalteringly connected. Katie fought the urge to cry at the display as she picked herself up off the ground and stumbled off the roof and in the direction of her dorm.
As she arrived back at her empty room, Katie felt a sudden desire to remove herself from her unhelpful head space and, even momentarily, dull the pain. She grabbed the keys and phone she had just set down to go in search of someone she knew would be aware of all the locations housing copious amounts of alcohol that evening. 'It's Friday night after all. There's bound to be a hundred parties happening on campus,' Katie thought as she reached the elevator and flicked the number four with her knuckle.
Tad had been concerned when Katie showed up on his doorstep, announcing her intention to lay waste to DC's supply of liquor at any party of his choice, and he was no less worried as he watched her corral a group of seniors into taking their fourth tequila shot in the space of ten minutes. By this point, she had dispensed with the idea of salt and lemon and he watched as Katie barely flinched after swallowing, while her companions coughed through the burn.
Feeling as though this was a step backwards, Tad wondered how much longer it would be before he was required to carry his friend home. He had his fair share of experience with that at the end of summer and the first week of college as Katie had tried to drink away the pain of her breakup with Jessie, but he hadn't seen her drink since the Labor Day weekend when her RA had threatened to report them for underage drinking. Tad remembered Katie drunkenly complaining about the prudish and annoyingly pedantic RA ruining her fun, but he was secretly happy when it caused a shift from alcohol to sugar, an addiction he had more than grown accustomed to witnessing throughout their long friendship.
Tad considered how much longer he would have to stay as he listened blankly to what was, in his opinion, an entirely rubbish soundtrack to the evening. Blaring from the stereo in the other room was the asinine Stacy's Mom by Fountains of Wayne and it had been preceded by Good Charlotte's Girls and Boys and Going Under by Evanescence. He hadn't seen the DJ but he was hoping someone with a less 'Top 40 Pop/Rock' taste might stage a coup and put on something decent.
"Tad!" Katie shouted at him from across the room, motioning for him to join her.
He ambled over to Katie and the tequila station, beer in hand, greeting half a dozen people despite the short journey to the kitchen.
"Tequila!" Katie announced, handing him a pre-filled shot glass of Jose Cuervo.
"Oh no no no," he responded, holding his hands up in the air and backing up slowly. "You know I am strictly a beer man."
"You're a wimpy man is what you are," she taunted him, knowing his competitive spirit would get the best of him if she played it right. She had plenty of experience in using his ego against him.
Katie unleashed her devastating smile when Tad took the shot glass from her hand and held it up to toast with his more-than-slightly toasted friend.
"Cheers," she proclaimed before throwing the tequila to the back of her throat and swallowing.
Katie laughed as she watched her friend, who considered himself to be quite the alpha male, squeeze his eyes shut and shake his head quickly as if trying to propel the burning sensation out of his throat, before chasing it down with a long swig of his Budweiser.
A new song came over the speaker, unrecognizable at first because of its soft notes in contrast with the loud revelers. Tad was sure it would be another pointless chart song, and he was proved right when he realized it was Here Without You by Three Doors Down. His beer-hazy brain took a few moments too long to register the lyrics and by the time he directed his gaze to Katie, he saw her head was bowed as she gripped the counter in an attempt to stay upright.
"Katie!" he exclaimed worriedly.
"Tad," Katie whimpered softly and looked up at him through glassy eyes.
Tad dropped his beer to the ground and wasted no time at all in wrapping his arm around her and guiding her out of the party and into the cold night air.
As they walked through the dark, quiet campus, Tad kept a protective arm around a stumbling Katie. He led them in silence towards Harbin and up to the 6th floor lounge. It was empty at this late hour, with most of the floor residents either sleeping or still out partying. Tad sat Katie down on the couch, flicked on the tv for some quiet background noise, and perched on the coffee table facing his distraught best friend.
"Katie," he ventured quietly, but was met with silence and eyes that would only look at the ground rather than meet his.
"Katie," he tried again, but still received nothing. "Okay, I'm just going to go to your room for a second. I'll be right back."
Tad reached over, gently freed the keys from Katie's clenched fist and hurried to her room, hoping she had a stash of the Nestle Hot Chocolate Mix he knew she loved and reminding himself to grab Gifford, Jessie's bear, and her comforter. Letting himself in, he momentarily forgot to consider Katie's roommate and was taken aback when he walked in to find her in the middle of the floor watching a DVD on her laptop.
"Oh God, I'm sorry," he stated as he saw the short brunette jump to her feet in surprise. "Katie's in…the, um, lounge, I uh just came to get something for her...I'm Tad…her best friend."
Chelsea felt her cheeks warm as Tad stared at her and stuttered slightly.
"Hi, I'm Chelsea," she responded with a nervous wave.
They stood in awkward silence for a few moments before Chelsea made a move to turn on the overhead light, bathing the room in a light she was sure was unflattering and she self-consciously smoothed her hair in response.
"Is Katie okay?"
"Honestly? No, I don't think so. A song came on at the party and it just destroyed her. I'm sure the half a bottle of tequila didn't help, but she's pretty upset."
"Ohh no, songs can be one of the worst memory triggers in a situation like this," Chelsea replied and then continued without giving Tad a chance to respond. "Can I help you find what you came in for?"
"I came in to see if she had some of those hot chocolate things she loves. I actually think it might be best if we bring her in here. I just didn't want to disturb you - do you mind?"
"Not at all," Chelsea answered, bending down to pick up a sachet and a mug from Katie's food stash and missing, in the process, Tad's appreciative glance at the view. "Let's tag team. Do you want to make the drink and I'll bring her in here?"
Tad nodded his agreement, before opening the door for Chelsea and following her back to the lounge.
Katie had barely moved while Tad was gone. She had drawn her legs instinctively up to her chest and leant up against the arm rest, but no matter how much she tried, she couldn't stop remembering the song that had stunned her into another round of torture.
'A thousand lies have made me colder and I don't think I can look at this the same.'
As she tried to stop replaying the words over and over in her mind, other words - ones buried deep for survival reasons - slammed into her like a freight train.
'I kissed her.'
'I kissed her.'
'I kissed her.'
The thoughts propelled Katie into motion. She didn't know where she was going, but she had to move, she had to try and run, try and get as far away from these feelings as possible. As a fresh round of tears sprang from her eyes, her vision blurred and she stumbled, still inebriated, out of the lounge. She had always been clumsy enough sober, so it would surprise no one to see her stumble and start to fall as she exited the lounge, but at that moment a pair of strong arms grasped her and steadied her on her feet.
"No no no no no," Katie mumbled, barely coherent. "I have to go, I have to go now."
Chelsea stepped in between Tad and her roommate, placing her hand gently on Katie's arm.
"Katie, it's me, Chels. It's okay. You are going, we are all going okay? We're all going to go into our room. It's okay," Chelsea started as she began guiding her away from the lounge. Subtly gesturing to Tad to make the hot chocolate, she walked with Katie back to their room.
Not even attempting to negotiate the ladder up to Katie's bed, Chelsea led the slightly calmer girl to her own bed, laying her down and gently brushing the hair out of her face. Tad returned a few moments later with a mug of hot chocolate and used his height advantage to pull Katie's comforter down and lay it over the now shaking girl. He found Gifford and handed it to Chelsea, who knelt down on the floor and tucked the white bear into Katie's arms.
"It hurts too much," spilled from Katie's lips through broken breaths. "It just hurts."
"I know sweetie, I know," Chelsea comforted her.
"I just don't understand why. I don't know what I did wrong."
Chelsea heard the barely-disguised snort from Tad's direction, which guided her to the right response, despite still not knowing the story of how this all came about.
"You did nothing wrong. This is not your fault okay? It is not your fault."
Chelsea and Tad sat with Katie for almost an hour until she cried herself to sleep, which they hoped for her sake provided her with some peace and relief from the pain.
When Katie awoke the next morning, with a headache that seemed to pulsate through her entire being, she was momentarily startled to realize she wasn't in her own bed, although she did have her comforter and the bear she could never bring herself to put in that memory box.
'How did I get here?'
Katie spent a few minutes piecing together what she remembered of the night before. She recalled lots of tequila and then flashes of crying and clinging to Tad and Chelsea.
"Chelsea!" Katie croaked and bolted upright, instantly regretting it as a sharp pain coursed through her and compelled her to clutch her head. Fighting the urge to lay back down and wallow in her hangover, Katie dragged herself out of bed and over to her desk where she found a note from Chelsea, accompanied by a glass of water and two tablets of heaven, otherwise known as Motrin.
Morning sweetie (hmm, it's probably afternoon huh?)
I had to go meet my study group in the library. I'll probably be home
late but you have my cell, and I expect you to use
it if you need me ok - no excuses!
Chels xox
She smiled tightly to herself. 'This girl's too good to me.'
For the rest of the afternoon, Katie stayed in Chelsea's bed - it was just too comfortable there to climb up to her own - and watched several episodes of Friends on her laptop. Well, listened really, as she found it difficult to keep her eyes focused on the screen. When she realized darkness had snuck in, she knew she needed to get some food, which didn't exactly correspond with the comfortable position she had found.
'Dining hall? No. Bangkok Bistro? At least they deliver but I don't feel like Thai. Oh, I know - Wingos deliver AND they do chicken fingers.'
Katie searched around for her phone, finding it under the mountain of covers and teddies she had formed around herself, but before she could finish dialing, Chelsea burst into the room.
"Well hello bed-thief, am I ever getting it back?"
"Hmmm, I don't know. I like having two comforters and being able to roll out of bed without taking the two meter dive to the floor," Katie grinned. "Speaking of comforters, please tell me you didn't freeze yourself to death last night."
Despite her attempt to turn away from Katie, Chelsea's blush was evident when she told Katie not to worry because Tad had brought her a blanket from his room.
"Tad eh? Awfully chivalrous of him, I didn't know he had it in him!"
"Oh? Yeah, well uh, he was um, he was very nice last night," she stuttered as Katie looked on amused, before she managed to recover and turn to Katie, shaking her finger. "Anyway, I come bearing food so you'd better be nice if you want some."
Katie put her hands up in surrender and struggled to suppress her laughter.
"No no, I'll be good. I promise! What did you bring?"
"Wisey's. We've got drinks - NON-alcoholic," Chelsea began with a pointed look at her suddenly sheepish roommate. "And for food, there's fries, a Chicken Madness and a Burger Madness. You can choose which one you want. Of course, you have to get out of my bed if you want to have any at all."
Chelsea placed the food on the floor and took a seat, cross-legged, in front of it while Katie reluctantly dragged herself out of bed and claimed a spot opposite, grabbing the chicken madness.
"Okay if I take chicken? It better be, because these just might be my second favorite food in DC - after Bangkok Bistro crispy rolls of course - and you might just break my heart if you don't let me have it," Katie joked light heartedly, but the dark-haired girl opposite her flinched slightly over the flippant treatment of words that meant a great deal given their situation.
"Of course," Chelsea responded sadly before attempting to cover it with banter. "But you owe me since not only am I such an awesome friend that I came home early just to bring you dinner, I am even more awesome because I brought you one of your favorite foods. I'll try to wait patiently for that 'Roommate of the Year' award!"
Katie found herself laughing, truly and genuinely, for what felt like the first time in a long time.
"Yeah, I'll get right on that. But since I have my food now and you're in for a world-title wrestling match if you try to take it off me," Katie hesitated before grinning wickedly and launching in the kill. "you have to tell me all about how much you loooooooove my best friend."
Chelsea coughed, almost choking on her mouthful of food, before picking up some french fries and flinging them at her hysterical roommate.
"Oh you are so dead Singer."
After a mini food fight, well fries-fight since neither was willing to risk their sandwiches, the girls settled back down and their laughter settled into a comfortable silence, which Chelsea knew she was going to break, but wasn't sure if she wanted to in case it went badly.
"Katie," she began as gently as she could. "Will you tell me what happened with you and Jessie?"