Reaction drabble for 4x17. Picks up right after Caroline stomps away at the end of the episode when Klaus tells her to go seek comfort elsewhere.

He was bastard. How dare he say that to her?

She stomped away from him, the dirt still clinging to her hands. Tears were threatening to spill over and lips quivering. Caroline wanted to claw his eyes out, she just willingly turned to him, twice in the span of twenty-hours and he just shut her out.

Why did she give him the chance?

Caroline moved faster, still at a human speed, unwilling to arrive home too soon. She just wanted to be anywhere that wasn't near Klaus. Her hair clouded around her face, blonde wisps catching on her lips and darkening from tears that were now slipping over.

She killed twelve people.

Klaus words stung in her ears, twelve people to save one. Her mind fired back, this was Bonnie. She had to save Bonnie, but Silas and the all the hell he promised, what would happen now? Gut wrenching guilt stabbed Caroline and she doubled over on the forest floor, dropping into the muddy earth.

She was a horrible person. She acted blindly and now, and now…It was too much too handle. She didn't even see their faces, but the sound of their bodies dropping with a sickening crunch taunted her mind. Caroline curled up, tucking her knees up to her chest, hugging herself tightly. In the haze of pain and grief her accusatory sentence to Klaus from earlier drifted to her mind.

She was no better than Klaus and still had yelled at him, wounding him. No wonder he wouldn't hug her when she wanted him the most. He was the one person she knew that could empathize and yet she called him the terrible person. Who was she to call him a monster yet not be willing to accept her own actions?

What a hypocrite, all her speeches, all her defenses, how truly the same she and Klaus were. Yet as she lay on the forest floor, she could not find herself willing to go back to him. The guilt was too strong.

Could she turn it off? She wanted too but that meant becoming like Elena and she refused to become like Elena. She saw what turning her humanity off did and she did not want to go down that path.

There had to be something else she could do, make the pain disappear. It didn't matter if she could be ageless and fearless; she just killed twelve people and started the domino effect of the apocalypse in one terrible swift blow.

Maybe she should just end it all. It was clear that Klaus wasn't going to give her the time of day after the stunt she had pulled and just when she thought she could satisfy her need to be in his arms. The word hypocrite drifted back into her mind.

Yes, she would end it all.

Caroline picked herself out of the ground, her guilt overriding any rational thought process. Brushing leaves and clumps of dirt off her face with the back of her hand, Caroline sniffed back her tears determination set in.

Her father's words from so long ago calling her a monster and telling her she had to be fixed drifted to the forefront of her mind. Oh she would fix it now; she'd just take herself out of the equation. She'd be the best little daughter, finally fulfilling her daddy's wishes.

Caroline spied the ground around her, grabbing the nearest piece of wood she could find. She eyed it over once, shrugging her shoulders. It was nothing much but it would do, it's not like she would feel much pain after jabbing into her heart.

The crunch of the innocents falling pounded in her mind, the sound still very fresh. Taking a deep breath, Caroline closed her eyes, grasping her hands tightly around the makeshift stake. It rested lightly on her skin, the tip of the stick gently boring into her skin yet not breaking the alabaster flesh. Then with a dramatic thrust of her arms, Caroline shoved the stick forward towards her heart.

There was no pain.

In fact there was nothing at all, but the sound of labored breathing. Caroline opened her eyes to see an enraged Klaus before her, gripping her hands tightly, the stake never breaking her skin.

"No, you don't get to take the easy way out of this," he growled out.

All the feelings of wanting to gauge his eyes out came flooding back. Klaus tossed the stick away with a vile frown. She snarled her own ferocious growl, beast confronting beast. "I can do what I please, now let go of my hands."

Klaus winched, trying to shift his weight from one knee to other. Caroline watched the movement, her interest piqued as to why he was acting so-the smell of blood finally hurt hit her nose. She panicked, wrenching her hands out of his and dropping the stake.

Whipping around to the source of the smell, she noticed the dark stain on his back, fresh blood seeping into his clothes and down his back. Caroline eyed him, baffled.

"Silas," he grunted, standing with great effort.

The sinking guilt came back, the words terrible person mocking her. This was her fault, and if Klaus died….she couldn't continue with that thought. She wasn't ready to think about it, she had confessed too much today as it was.

Caroline shuddered over the knowledge he could he hurt and then came round to his front again. His eye's reached hers, trapping her. Eyes learning every word she couldn't say out loud, it seemed to be their way after all. The communicated more with their bodies then they ever did with words, their words were just as important.

"Caroline," he warned in a gruff voice.

Caroline snapped out of his trance, suddenly knowing how she could make the guilt go away. She could fix this and it didn't mean taking herself out of the equation. No, she would make amends for what she had done and that started with curing Klaus from whatever happened between him and Silas.

"Which way is your house?" she asked, rubbing away all trace of tears from her face.

Klaus jerked his thumb over his shoulder and Caroline started off. Noticing Klaus wasn't following after a minute, she turned back.

"Aren't you coming?" she asked, arms folded across her chest. She desperately wanted to give nothing more away to him.

Klaus furrowed his brow, steadily approaching her. She could see a multitude of emotions storming about his face, none of which were happy.

"I told you to go find someone else," he sneered.

"Yeah, well we don't always get what we want," she snipped back.

Caroline started marching off again, freezing only slightly when she felt his warm hand brush across the tops of her knuckles as he came up next to her. She didn't turn to face him or acknowledge his subtle gesture. It seemed he didn't want to either; he just kept walking forward jaw clenched to mask his pain.

They were both too hurt and lost in their own feelings to take comfort and own up to their actions. But suddenly Caroline didn't feel like such a terrible person anymore. Somehow being around Klaus made the pain a little less and that was enough comfort for the moment.