When Thor arrived at the golden gates of Asgard, he saw them somehow darker, less beautiful. The words of his friends rang in his conscience, and repeated themselves once and again. Could they be true? Could the Allfather have cursed Loki's mind against himself? Truth be told, Thor didn't remember hearing his father say what ailed Loki was the prisoner's disease. They had just assumed it when he mentioned that Loki had taken ill. It couldn't be true. There needed to be another explanation. "...it all figures", Stark had said.
As if it wasn't bad enough that he had forgotten about his brother all that time.
When he entered the throne room, his father was talking to some counsellors. He dismissed them all. His was a matter of the utmost urgency. A matter of a name stained. Thor started speaking, fearing his father's words. If his friends' theory was correct he would have to rethink many parts of his life.
"Father, I need words with you."
"Son! How joyous to have you back so soon. Will you remain longer this time? And if you are back where is...?"
"Loki?" Thor interrupted "He sustained some injuries while helping us defeat prince Belveroth and my friends have decided to let him stay until the moment he is recovered. I have warned them the prisoner's disease has been up to now an incurable disease but they tell me his symptoms do not fit the illness I describe. But it is them who are wrong, right? Loki suffers from the prisoner's disease. And nothing else."
Odin was silent for a moment.
"Father, tell me you did not use a thought curse as they suggest. Tell me you did not use Loki's guilt to hurt him all this time. Tell me there is another explanation."
Odin tried, but could not lie to Thor. He had discovered the truth and now it was time to face it.
"Thor, you must understand. As much as it pained me, I needed to be sure that Loki was not going to escape, thirsty for revenge. It was what needed to be done."
"You stripped him of his magic and threw him, alone, in that cell! It was more than enough. You needn't be so excessive about his punishment, Father. There is no justification."
"Last I heard you had no concern for Loki's welfare, dear son. How come you are now his biggest defender if only days ago you thought his sentence was fair and showed no desire to visit him? Why are you suddenly so venomous against me on his behalf?" Odin asked, trying to deflect the conversation from his actions.
Thor almost exploded at that.
"Because I abandoned him! I abandoned him and it's killing me. I thought he was all evil, I thought he spent his time in prison plotting and concocting evil schemes when in truth he was suffering. Day and night in pain... because of you! Who are supposed to be his father!"
"Is that the poison he has been spreading about me? You know as I do that every word from his mouth is a lie! That he uses your good will against you!"
"You dare say those words when you spent all our childhood poisoning us against Frost Giants when you perfectly knew that Loki was one of them?"
"I will not apologize for my actions, son. I did what I thought was best, as I am doing now."
"You call that the best? Having a good man tortured with his own mind? It is true that Loki deserved punishment but he did not deserve what you have done to him!" Thor took a deep breath, trying to calm himself "He has helped us - helped Midgard in its darkest hours. I will not question your decision any further if you tell me you will lift the spell."
"I will not do such a thing. Loki is a threat without it, to Asgard and all the realms."
"Father, please, have some mercy. He spends his days doubling over in pain, consumed by fever, and his nights are plagued by nightmares. It has been enough."
"I am sorry, Thor. It is a risk I am not willing to take."
Thor felt the rage consume him. All this time he had defended his father in front of the rest of his friends and for what? He was a heartless man who was tormenting Loki to insanity. He'd had it all wrong. He could not trust Odin, his friends had been right. And he'd been blind to it, just as he'd been blind to Loki's suffering. Suddenly, he wanted to get back at his father, something that had rarely happened before.
"Mother, is ignorant to this, isn't she?" the blonde asked, angry. "She's been as blind as me. I am going to tell her, father, and be sure that she will never forgive you. And when me and my friends find a way to cure Loki from this curse and he comes to get back at you, I will not stop him."
"Is that a threat?" Odin asked.
"A warning. I will not believe your lies anymore, Father. You have lost my trust. I am ashamed of your actions as I am of mine. And I have to fix this."
Down on Earth, in the underground hideout of Bruce Banner, Captain Rogers was desperately trying to wake Loki up. But nothing. He had tried shaking him, yelling at him and nothing had happened. But he was suffering, that much he knew as the tears continued to flow the god's face. Stark and Banner approached them, sleepy but aware of what was happening.
Stark tried slapping him. Steve threw him a very nasty look. It didn't work.
"Bruce?"
The doctor had an idea but it was very not nice. Steve would probably not like it. But he saw no other option and that man had to be woken up, fast. So ignoring the looks of surprise his friends were giving him, Bruce blocked the god's airways with his hand. Surely that would get a reaction.
"What are you doing! He's going to choke!" Steve screamed, disbelieving. They were trying to kill him now?
"That's the point." Bruce said, hoping this would work. Praying it would. Because if it didn't...
But surely enough and after some excruciating seconds of uncertainty the lack of oxygen made Loki's eyes fly open trying to find the source of the block. Bruce quickly let go of his face and the three Avengers looked down, concerned. Loki had no idea of what was going on. One moment he was being shot at and the next he couldn't breathe, and woke up to the taste of blood in his mouth and three sets of eyes were looking at him. The guns were gone and the hostile expressions too. He looked at them with watery eyes, unfocused eyes, not understanding.
"Glad you're back, Loki." The Captain of America, his main torturer, commented. "You had us a bit worried."
He frowned, confused. Why this sudden change? Was it some sort of mindgame? His face felt wet and the gunshot wounds were gone. He frowned, confused.
"You were having a nightmare." Steve continued "We couldn't wake you."
Loki was breathing heavily, looking at them with wide eyes. The Captain said that it had been a nightmare. Another one. But what if that had been the truth and this was the illusion? Offense is what is expected of enemies, not concern. Why would they help him, let him into their hideout if it was not to punish him? To trap him. To trick him. To go back to the pain with no end, his fair sentence.
No, they would not help him, why would they? He was beyond redemption. A destructive liar and trickster.
A worthless little monster, that's all he was.
This was all a trick. It had to be. Someone playing with his mind.
You're only getting what you deserve.
His stomach gave a painful turn and he doubled over and he threw up on the floor. How undignified. How pathetic. And there were tears in the corners of his eyes again. In the distance, Loki could hear the voices of the Avengers.
"Bruce, do something!" Stark said.
The Captain was getting closer. Frantically, Loki searched for something to defend himself. He may be a monster, but he was not helpless.
"Stay back!" He ordered and the captain surprisingly obeyed.
"What is wrong?" He asked and he seemed so terribly real. "He was okay with us before sleeping."
And then the three of them were talking and discussing things. They got to the conclusion that he seemed defensive probably because the dream had been about them. It was the only explanation. Loki was just so very tired because he could never sleep in peace and reality was so blurred and he didn't understand and...
Banner was speaking and his eyes seemed sincere.
"Loki, you don't need to defend yourself. Us, hurting you... That was a dream, ok?"
"No" he whispered, biting his lips until blood seeped out "it's all a trap..."
"Look at yourself, Loki. Remember. See the cast in your arm? I did that when you arrived here, and Natasha said in the rain I would give you a check-up so you would help us with Bob. And see that, in your stomach? That's a piece of Steve's shirt, bandaging the wound you got in the explosion. We don't want to hurt you, not anymore at least. I don't. I Steve and Tony don't want to hurt you either. It was a dream."
The gunshot wounds were gone, and Loki remembered, little by little. Stark tower. Romanoff in the rain. Bob. Fury. The explosion. The broken computer. It made no sense, but that seemed to be the truth. Loki dropped his defensive attitude and wiped his face the best he could, mising the tears with the blood.
He felt like an idiot. A useless idiot.
"I regret this... I..."
"Hey, don't feel bad, pal. We all have our bad moments. But be sure that we've got your back, ok?" Stark said.
Loki nodded, feeling strangely light-headed, trying to get the taste of blood out of his mouth. Got his back... but why would they?
"Is there a shower in this place?" He asked, trying to regain a bit the lost elegance. His face was probably a mess right now.
"Yes, go ahead." Banner said smiling. "I'll get you some clothes to change into. But maybe you should keep the pants, mine are much shorter."
Loki nodded and after Banner left a shirt and a sweater and some bandages in the tiny bathroom he went there.
The other three looked at each other, sharing a concerned look while the water ran.
"They really did a number on him, didn't they?" Tony mentioned.
"I'm not surprised. It's incredible that he's as functional as he is with that fever." Banner added. "Anyways, we should focus on communicating, we'll have to get out of here sooner than later since I don't have much food for four people... and that poor guy is probably already feeling self-conscious enough without us discussing him at great lengths. Tony, check out that third box on there, the one that says "gadgets", it's mainly lab stuff but I think I put some computer accessories too."
"I'll clean the blood on the floor." Steve said, trying to be of use. "Where is the cleaning stuff?"
When Loki came out of the shower, almost an hour later, the world seemed a better place. His head hurt, yes, and his stomach but he was more sure that this was reality. His brother's friends were treating him like an equal, for some reason, and even if it was undeserved he decided to try enjoy it. Even if it was all an illusion. It was all he had. He put on the shirt Banner had left for him, a green thing that read 37th national marathon of applied physics and the black zippered sweater. He combed his too-long hair with his fingers and went out to face the world.
"You're looking much better." The captain told him, and suddenly he felt stupid for believing that an honest man like him would shoot him for no reason. Stark took him out of his thoughts.
"Hey, pal, maybe you can help us. We've started the computer again, thanks to my incredible genius and found a newer router that can take wi-fi, even found a super-old but working web cam, but we can't seem to connect the things. And even my genius has limits."
Loki, glad to have a distraction, sat down in the desk and started typing in the computer. He had figured out how these digital systems worked last time he was on Earth, but this particular machine seemed to be more challenging. He worked on it while the rest discussed plans to get back at SHIELD, until he thought of something that might work. He kept going at the computer, forgetting himself. Just ones and zeros.
"Gentlemen, we have a connection." He said after a while.
"We have internet?" Bruce looked, wide-eyed and saw google on his Windows 97. Incredible.
Tony looked at the computer, too, trying to figure out how could that be possible. And he was speechless when he realised what Loki had done.
"Why didn't I thought of that!" He complained.
"You may be a genius on Earth, Stark, but I do magic, which is a far more complicated art than your rudimentary technology. Windows is no rival for a master of sorcery." He smiled.
Steve realised something he didn't like.
"Wait a minute... Am I the only one in this room who is not a genius?"
There was silence.
"Well, this not so smart soldier is going to use that bed that is so terribly empty while you do your technology stuff. Wake me if anything important happens." And so he left.
While on the internet, Tony and Bruce read that they were considered missing after a terrorist attack caused by an unknown party. Well, it was not too far from the truth except the terrorists were part of a security agency. They also tried to contact Clint or Natasha but were unsuccesful. The next step was getting in Tony's mail - he was exceedingly happy when he saw that Pepper was connected.
Pepper had been having a rough couple of days, with Tony disappearing and the attack and trying to rebuild what had been lost during Belveroth's vicious attack, many houses had been lost, weapons, even some workers had been killed. And suddenly, there it was. Someone was in her mail, someone from Tony's account who claimed to be him. Could it really be him? What if it was a hacker?
But then he told her something only the two of them knew. Something he had promised not to tell anyone.
T: Wait, the chatbox said, Bruce and Loki are putting on the webcam.
Pepper was hopeful. Really hopeful. This hellish week would be so much better if she could finally be sure that Tony was okay. That at least she had him.
And then there it was, pixeled but recognisable, her own Tony waving at the camera. He was dusty but ok and she could finally breathe.
P: You look pretty good for a guy who's been in an explosion.
T: Hulk protected me.
And mute-camera-Tony (they had no microphone) said something and then Bruce was waving awkwardly and she smiled.
P: Thank you, Bruce.
He made a dismissive gesture to the camera and said something that looked to be in the lines of It was nothing and then disappeared.
P: So you are all okay?
T: Well, Steve and Loki are a bit banged up but otherwise OK. Wait a minute, I haven't introduced you, right?
Cam-Tony motioned someone behind him to move towards the camera. Pepper was surprised at how little this man looked like the assassin he remembered and much more like a guy who'd been beaten up while ill with pneumonia. His face was full of cuts and scratches, one the eyes still a bit black and he was so pale it almost shone in the screen. Split lip, bags under the eyes, dirty cast on one arm. Disturbingly human. He took Tony's place for a moment and wrote.
L:It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Lady Potts. Stark has always spoken very highly of you.
Well, that didn't sound too psychotic.
P: You too. And thank you for scaring off Belveroth, Loki. Tony told me what you did.
He got up, made a small vow to the camera and disappeared. Tony was there again.
T: OK, now to the important stuff. You've found anything about the attack?
She had.
P: Quite a lot, actually. Barton called after the explosion and told me he had warned you, but that he didn't know if you had time to react. We'd been in contact since them. Apparently the big guy on RVG is someone called Bolton. Last night Romanoff went with him for drinks to celebrate her entry on the division and worked her considerable magic, so he spilled think everything is one of Loki's scams. Belveroth, all that he did... they think that it was actually Loki with one of his spells, that Belveroth is actually an alias, him disguised. They think that he's using all of it, to get on your good graces, infiltrate the Avengers, then the government and when everybody thinks he's on our side reveal his true motives- world domination. They say that he's trying to look good and weak to make you believe his story and befriend him, that he is brainwashing you. So, he is the first priority. Then there's you, Tony, who this guy has been trying to get rid of for years. Apparently you're a liability and can't be trusted. He only needed an excuse and he got it. He's not the only one, either and they're all after you. Most of them also would rather see Bruce caged, too, some even want to experiment on him. They're fanatics, Tony. And... what am I missing? They're not against Rogers, but they think he's mind-controlled so they want him too.
T: Wow, that's really a lot, I'll think it through and talk to the others, see what we're gonna do about them. Meanwhile, could you use your many skills to somehow help us get out of here and get us some sort of... unreachable fortress, maybe?
He managed to give the camera his best puppy eyes to convince her.
P: I'll set things in motion, do the best I can.
T: Thanks a million, Pep. We talk again tomorrow morning, see how everything is going? If I keep this thing going any longer I'm afraid it's going to explode.
P: All right. Take care!
T: You too.
Tony decided to wake Steve (even if it had only been an hour) to discuss what he'd learned. They decided that after getting out they had to A) expose RVG and all their excesses to the public and B) somehow prove that Loki had no magic and thus was no threat. Tony had read a file about a guy named Strange, who called himself the greatest magician of the world. They decided it could be a person of interest, to somehow certify to the world that the god had no magic and maybe (unlikely but possible) help Loki heal from his disease.
"Pity we don't have magic. It would make things a lot easier." Steve commented.
"If I had just a bit of my magic I could wear that Bolton man's face convince his minions to stop the group and discredit him. It would be really easy." Loki said.
"So the myths are true? You are a shape-shifter?" Tony said.
"I can change forms with magic, yes."
"Could you change into an animal?" Bruce asked, fascinated by the biological aspects of the process.
"Could you turn into a woman? Not Natasha or someone else, just you but in woman." Tony asked.
"I could."
"Now, that I'd like to see." Steve shot him an I-am-the-moral-police-so-no-dirty-thoughts look. "What? He's pretty hot for a dude, even all broken up. I'm sure you're a total babe in lady mode, pal. And I'm sure if we made out or something it would make Thor all kinds of angry."
The comment made Loki smile, as Tony knew it would. Maybe he was getting soft but after seventeen years of solitude and pain the guy deserved at least a compliment, right? He probably wouldn't be as whole as Loki was after that hell. After talking a bit more Tony decided to shower and Bruce tried to read something so it was just Loki and Steve in the madeshift living room composed by the bed and the couch, Steve on the bed and Loki on the couch. The latter closed his eyes, trying to fought out the thoughts on his head. They are trapping you here, no matter what they say. One day, they will be all gone and you'll be locked up again.
"You okay?" Asked the Captain. He weakly nodded. "You gave me quite a scare this morning.
Ok. Time for the truth.
"Enough. What is the trick? What is the catch? You seem suddenly so concerned for me, so nice... And why? Because I helped you once? I also tried to conquer you once, if you remember. And why haven't you given SHIELD's story any credit? Those are members of your government and I am a trickster and a prisoner."
Steve was surprised. He used his "you have to take me seriously" voice to answer.
"Did you know that Bob had stolen nuclear weapons? He was gonna throw a missile on a minor city after killing us so no one would question his power. Let's face it, he was a threat much worse than you were. And you had the upper hand. You could have manipulated him into anything because you knew his weak points. You could have taken over his army, subtly. Follow him on his destructive crusade. Watch him kill us just to get back at us. Let him kill us and then defeat him, telling Thor (who Bob could not kill) that you wanted to help, but you were just too weakened. Anything. I was bound with magical ropes that got tighter when I tried to escape, without weapons and with a dagger in my neck. And the first thing you did was save my life. You told Bob that I was a good soldier he could use and the dagger was gone. So excuse me if I had grown a little fond of you after that."
"But..."
"And yes, I am concerned because that's what I feel when I see a person suffer. And don't tell me that you're only a prisoner and a monster because you have a heart and a conscience and that's a person in my book. And yes, I remember what you did, and I don't approve, but you have paid for that, you are still paying, after all this time. With blood and tears and nights full of terror. But we gave you a second chance and you made the right choice. So stop doubting yourself, stop doubting us and help fight SHIELD, like you've done until now. Ignore those voices, Loki. You are not a monster."
Loki threw a sad look his way.
"You are always saying such nice things, Captain. Such nice things."
Outside the basement, Thor arrived to see only destruction where his brother and his friends had been not long ago. What had happened? Was he too late?
On the west wing of SHIELD HQ Agent Bolton smiled while he talked on the phone with one of his private underlings.
"Yes, definitely. Keeping tabs on Potts was a good idea. No, but we're preparing a good attack. They're going to try and get to some safe house Potts has prepared and when they move we'll be there to greet them. Yes, exactly, then we can say they died attacked from the unknown guys of the explosion and tie it all with a little bow. I know, I know. They won't know what hit them"
A/N: Way too long and uneventful, I know, but the action will be back. And the quality or something. On the plus side two hundred reviews! I am sooo happy! And keep 'em coming, the more the merrier! (But no mean flames, pls. They wound the writer's little heart). Anyways do tell me what you thought about Thor's conversation in Asgard, about the full-of-feels moment like Tony comforting Loki with flirting and Steve giving that dude-I-kinda-like-you speech... Anything and everything!
Reviews are love! ^^