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Not the Hippies!

~PoM & M~

The four penguins stood atop the false iceberg in their enclosed habitat. Skipper just stood there and did nothing. This worried his team. What was their leader trying to show them? Was there a trick to what he was doing? Should they…turn their heads to be able to see it?

"Um, Skippah?" Private finally decided to speak up. "What should we be looking for?"

"You should be looking around!" The commando cried. "Remember where those hippies habitats were?"

The three looked over to the four habitats. The lemur's habitat used to belong to that lion named Alex, Marlene's used to be the hippo Gloria's, Joey's pen was the giraffe's place once upon a time, and Bada and Bing have the old zebra enclosure.

"Well, yes," Kowalski stated. "We see where they used to be. They have now been replaced wi-"

"Exactly!" Skipper interrupted. "They've been replaced!"

Kowalski looked at his leader as if the penguin had lost it. "Sooo…what's your point?"

"My point-" Skipper flung his wing around the analyst's shoulders. "-dear Kowalski, is this! Would these habitats have been replaced, IF, those freaks were here to inhabit them?"

"No…I guess not." Kowalski drawled out, still unsure about where Skipper was going with this.

"So, had we not left the hippies where they were, we wouldn't have had Marlene and Joey and all these other animals as fellow zoosters! Remember the times we've had with them?"

"Yeah…" Kowalski was still unsure.

"Compare that to our times with the hippies." Skipper challenged.

Private seemed to be catching on. "Alex did frighten me that one time so long ago… He's so awfully and terribly big…"

Skipper nodded enthusiastically. "Exactly! You remember back in Madagascar? The cat was a CARNIVORE! He'd endanger all zoo life as we know it! There are no meat-eaters here! This zoo is strictly vegetarian!"

Private blinked. "But what about Roger, sir?" the private asked and the two tallest penguins nodded, what ABOUT Roger?

Skipper sounded unsure but held his argument anyway. "Okay so this zoo is 99% vegetarian."

"Ah, Skipper. We too are carnivores." Kowalski pointed out. "We eat fish, also a kind of flesh."

Skipper shrugged. "So this zoo is 95% vegetarian."

"Wha bou Maleen?" Rico asked.

Skipper growled in irritation. "96 percent then. And besides, it's fish! No one's ever going to miss a fish! It's a fish and everyone knows fish don't have relatives!"

"...Fish have rela-" Kowalski started.

"You get my point!" Skipper shouted with an eye roll. "That lion's a menace! Half the zoo's budget went to his wacko steak obsession! And he had the people under his full control!"

Private gasped. "Control?"

Skipper nodded. "Yeah! Don't you remember?" the leader said and pretended to roar fiercely. "ROAR!"

Private and Kowalski's beaks made an 'o' shape as they recalled the lion's old act.

"Ohhh." the private drawled.

"Right..." Kowalski scratched the back of his head.

"Do you get a bit of the picture now?" Skipper asked.

Kowalski nodded slowly. "I suppose we understand a bit of your reasoning, Skipper."

Private rubbed his neck feathers. "So what you're saying is, if we didn't leave them behind, we wouldn't have met all of the friends we have now?"

Skipper blinked. Actually he meant something on the lines of that psychotic lion using his mediocre act to take over the whole zoo, self-proclaiming himself as a king and the hippies then taking over the world. But the private's reasoning worked too. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. Also a risk of a hippie uprising. But that one's just an added bonus for those freaks."

"Well," Kowalski spoke as they waddled around the zoo "I think we're starting to get it now"

"Good," Skipper side smirked at them and led them through the zoo. "But I'm not done. This brings me to my next point. Look around you, boys. What do you see?"

"Um... The zoo?" Kowalski was still a bit skeptic. Was that how he was supposed to respond?

"Right...but what do you see in the zoo, Kowalski? Hm?"

"I see many species of animals such as Marlene the Asian Otter, three different lemur types-being the Ring-Tailed, Mouse, and Aye-Aye. Then there's-" Skipper was quick to slap him in the face. "Sorry sir. You were saying?"

Skipper gave an eye roll at the hopeless analyst. "I* see a content and peaceful zoo based on equality and penguin supervision, not some one-lion show! I hate to admit it but I'm happy to have RING-TAIL next door than that psychotic hippie! Ring-tail's actually more deal-able! I'd take blaring noise for senseless noise any day!"

"Well, yes, I suppose so." Kowalski shrugged as they started passing by the lemur habitat.

"You boys like Marlene don't you?"

"Of course we do!" Private answered this time.

"Well Marlene's not here anymore!" Skipper exclaimed.

"Wha!?" Rico cried.

Private gasped. "What happened to Marlene!"

"She's gone!" Skipper shouted, "Replaced by that wuss giraffe complaining that his spots give off a 'slight tingle in the sunlight!' " the leader mocked .

The three penguins were speechless. They didn't know what was going on, but they were getting a bit freaked out!

"B-B-But, but..." Private stammered.

"Um, sir?" Kowalski started as they stopped in front of the lemur's enclosure. "Do you mean to show us how we would have felt had we brought the four of them?"

"No one's here!" Skipper went on. "It's a desolate wasteland, men! Run by HIPPIES! They've TAKEN OVER and we're all done for! The humans are going crazy over them, slaving to give them every luxurious need from prescriptions to chlorine pools to treadmill's and murals and BEEF! And you know what happens when they run out of beef...? ...They CAN'T run out of beef for that lion, now can they? So you know what they do? Huh? Do you know what we are, soldiers? WE'RE STEAK!"

At this point Private had fainted into Kowalski's arms.

"Your point, Skipper?" Kowalski questioned with a raised brow and looked down at private. "Preferably before he once again awakens."

"Do I have to spell it out for you? Those freaks are bad news! It's a completely GOOD thing we left them behind! If we didn't then we never would have met anyone here! The zoo's budget would all go to that lion and to a lesser extent, his overlooked friends! Our operations would be compromised with all those people coming to praise that over-conditioning pansy, and to be honest, he never liked us in the first place! The only reason he ever started to pay us attention was when we were helping those hippies travel out of the kindness of our hearts! We wanted to stay in Madagascar! But what did we do instead? We salvaged a plane, and took them to Africa, salvaged a bunch of tourist cars and the plane again, and said we'd come back for them! And what did they do? They cut short our gambling spree! Do we own an Airbus A380? A gold one even?"

Kowalski's beak quivered as he thought of the loss. "No..." the analyst started to sob, still holding the unconscious private. "No we do not!" he cried with tears. He had wanted that plane and wanted it badly. They weren't able to get it because the hippies had barged in on their gambling spree, forcing them to have to buy a circus instead later on. By that time they were out of cash and it was goodbye to getting a brand new airplane.

Rico hauled Private over his shoulder so that Kowalski's flippers were free during the sob fest.

"Buck up, soldier." Skipper told the analyst gently. "We've all lost something on this whole journey. I for one, lost a love." the leader admitted, thinking back to the African nights on the dashboard of the tour jeeps with his special someone.

"At least yours came back to you!" Kowalski exclaimed. "Oh Airbus, hot mama, I never got to tame you!" the analyst wiped his eyes and calmed down. "Skipper, you're right. We have done what was best for everyone. Had we brought the four of them back they still would not have been satisfied. They do not have the ability to properly select where they want to be without mind changing way too late. I am sorry I've ever doubted you for a moment and am behind you approximately 100%, sir!" Kowalski saluted.

Skipper faintly smiled. "Thank-you Kowalski."

Private regained consciousness dizzily and was set back on the ground, holding a flipper to his head. "Would everyone in the zoo really be gone then, Skippah? If we had taken them with us?" he asked concerned and frightened.

Skipper shrugged. "Well, to be honest, many of them surely wouldn't be here."

Private shook his head in disbelief. "No Marlene? No others at all?"

"Nope?" Rico asked their leader, adding on.

Skipper shook his head. "No Marlene, no nobody."

"Oh dear…" Private's frown deepened as he thought of life without all his friends. "That wouldn't really be a life now would it?"

"Now do you see, boys? Think of all the things we wouldn't have if we hadn't of ditched those freaks. And if that doesn't make you see it differently then look at it this way, we still have the hippies in our memories and we can always go back to them there. We'll always have Madagascar!" Skipper told his team, jumping when a voice from behind him started up out of nowhere.

"Ah, Madagascar!" King Julien leaned over his habitat wall, intercepting the conversation much to the leader's annoyance. The king sighed happily as he remembered his old kingdom. "My home! De place where I King Julien de thirteenth- dat is me cuz I am de king- once ruled!"

"Thirteenth?!" exclaimed Skipper, jumping back in horror. "Holy mackerel, there were more of you!"

"Of course there were, silly penguin!" Julien started a list on his fingers. "There was my papa King Julien de twelfth and my papa's papa King Julien de eleventh and my papa's papa's papa King Julien de…" The list went on and on as the lemur king listed all his ancestors.

Skipper shook his head. It was suddenly spinning from thinking of more than one ring-tail roaming the earth. He wasn't a religious penguin but god help the world! He even thought about enacting a new mission. Operation: Prevent Lemur Reproduction. Effective immediately. The plan involved pliers, a tube of super glue, flashing lights, and a swarm of angry bats. The stubby penguin sighed. Just like Manfredi went…

The leader zoned back in to find that the ring-tail was still reciting his family tree. Skipper looked over to Maurice who appeared leaning up beside the brick wall, suddenly feeling very sorry for him. He saluted the aye-aye lemur. "On behalf of the entire world, I salute you, you poor unfortunate soldier."

Maurice shrugged at the gesture. "Thanks but I was only around for the last two King Julien's."

"Yeah!" King Julien cut in. "Maurice was my papa's royal adviser! You know, until de foosa came and ripped his limbs off…but eh, he survived and ran away with de circus!" the lemur king recalled. "Just like we almost did! Right, Maurice?"

Maurice's eyes widened a bit. "Uh, yeah, and because uh…that happened, you became the king!"

"And about time too! I thought he would never give me dat crown!"

Kowalski blinked. "Are you sure that that was the best way of going about the situation?" the analyst asked the royal adviser.

"Look," Maurice yanked the analyst by his chest feathers, bringing Kowalski up to his face. "I'm just an adviser! There ain't much I can do for this guy! And you aren't telling him any different!"

"I miss papa." Julien admitted. "But if it wasn't for him being all going away like, I wouldn't be de royal me dat I am today!"

"Ring-tail has a point," admitted Skipper. "In a way."

"He does, Skippah?" Private asked.

Skipper nodded "Yes. Remember, if we didn't ditch the hippies we'd still be on a rundown old circus train booking shows and if it were up to that seal, we'd be doing it bare and without our tail-feathers."

"He was a sea lion, actually." corrected Private.

"Whatever." The leader rolled his eyes. "You get my point. Now I do admit that we did have our share of good moments with those hippies, and our time together with them has made us all better penguins as a result, right? And we'll always remember that, but now it's time to move on."

Kowalski was half paying attention, more focused on a previous statement. "Funny you should mention the common error that is the mistake of sea lions for seals-"

"Didn't I say we were moving on?" Skipper asked annoyed.

"Yes Skipper, but this advice could one day save us all." The analyst pointed out.

"Fine… enlighten us."

Kowalski nodded while the lemur king lying up on his habitat wall yawned and scratched himself at the beginning boredom. "There is a colossal but almost not colossal difference between the carnivorous seal and the forever daft sea lion. A seal being a bloodthirsty unstoppable horrifying monster of the deep blue that will rise and tear us limb from limb, DESTROYING US ALL!…While a sea lion is…slightly below intelligence."

Skipper raised a brow. "How slightly?"

Kowalski shrugged. "About 69 points below average."

"What a waste." The leader shook his head.

Julien kept counting on his fingers. "…and my papa's papa's papa's papa's papa's papa King Julien de-"

"We GET it!" Skipper rolled his eyes up at the wall. "There were more of you! Horrifyingly more of you!"

The four penguins stared at the lemur before a loud crash had their full attention. The team of commandos turned to the zoo entrance while the lemur king just tiredly yawned from up on his wall.

"What in the ham steak was that?" Skipper asked, staring back at his men.

"It sounded like it came from outside the zoo." Kowalski pointed. "It almost sounded like something hitting asphalt."

"A spaceship landing huh?" Skipper narrowed his eyes and extended his flipper forward. "Roll out men! Those squids aren't taking this zoo without getting through me first! …then Rico! …and Kowalski! …then Private I suppose..." He shrugged.

"Aw…" Private looked down.

"YOU HEAR THAT SPACE-SQUID? PAPA PENGUIN'S COMING FOR YA! HAH!" the leader proclaimed and the penguins were off in a belly slide to the source of the commotion.

King Julien blinked but then shrugged. "…then there was my papa's papa's papa's papa's papa's papa's papa's papa King Julien de…"