Chapter 114

Before I could even buckle up, Monroe began the lectures. I was going to get myself killed if I kept this up, I wasn't using my brain, I was so incredibly frustrating… Monroe kept going the whole car ride back to my house. I just nodded. It was useless to respond.

"Are you even listening to me?" he asked in exasperation. "You haven't said a word."

"I'm listening." I looked into his eyes, throbbing bright red. "Nothing I say will make you understand, so it's best if I just keep quiet."

"Make me understand what? Understand that you lied to me, yet again I might add, and ran off to jeopardize yourself when you had no reason to?" He let out a snort. "And you were off, by yourself, with Nick…"

"I only went to help him," I explained quickly. "What if that Hexenbiest had killed Nick out there?" I held my chest where she'd pushed me. She was strong, and I didn't want to see the bruise that was forming under my shirt. "I had to make sure he was all right."

"And her killing you instead would've been better, how?"

"'Ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do and die,'" I replied.

"You're quoting Tennyson?" he questioned me. "Man, I can think of plenty of good reasons why you don't need to be involving yourself with the doing or the dying. You know, this ain't the light brigade; this is your life we're talking about. "

"Well, Hank might've been the one dying if Nick hadn't succeeded." I was trying not to cry. Since my woge had left me, I'd been fighting back tears. While I was getting better at not fainting from the rush, it still had me shook up. "And with both of us there, I could've given her my blood if Nick couldn't."

"You heard what your grandmother said about Waldgeists and Hexenbiests. Who knows what Waldgeist blood might do inside one? I mean, that might make her even more powerful for all we know."

"I forgot about that." Dammit, he was right. I hadn't even thought about my Waldgeist side with all this. "I just wanted to keep Nick and his partner safe." The tears pressed behind my eyes, threatening to let loose. I wasn't going to break down. We had another antidote to make, so I could stop loving Detective Sexy. I had to hold myself together and focus.

"You gotta keep yourself safe, too." Monroe's fingers traced over my ripped skirt. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you. I mean, I thought I'd lost you with this whole Nick thing already, and lemme tell ya, that about killed me. Well, it almost killed Nick, too, if I hadn't controlled myself. You gotta promise me you'll stop throwing yourself into the paths of peril. I can't take it, man."

"So are we gonna be okay?" I asked in almost a whisper.

Monroe sighed as he let my skirt go. "I can't answer that right now… Not after this."

"Then I can't promise anything." The car jerked as I pulled into my driveway and hastily threw it into park. "I can't hold it back anymore. I've been holding back all my life, and now I know why I have these feelings, and why I see what I can see. I have to do what I can with it, and sometimes that's going to be risky."

Monroe sighed deeply, throwing his seat belt off with equal vigor. "Since when have you ever held back? I mean, from the long list of cockamamie tales Chloe has told me, you rush in where even the angels won't tread, man, and probably a lot of other things would be afraid to go there, too, for that matter."

"Excuse me?" My nostrils flared. Did he just call me a fool? What did Chloe tell him? Crap. "There have been plenty of times where I've held back." I maintained my tone, although I wanted to yell. "Just because you haven't seen that side of me, doesn't mean I haven't." I turned to face him. "What does it matter anyway? You're telling me that you don't want to lose me, yet you say that you don't know if we're gonna be okay. So, don't worry about what I do."

"Now wait a minute… Don't try to mix the two here. Regardless of whatever happens to us, I still care about your safety."

"Monroe, I am from a bloodline of protectors and hunters. So, I'm going to hunt down the ones that the rest need protection from. End of story. You wanna help me? Great. If not, then don't complain when I go do it alone." I yanked off my seat belt and leaned against the steering wheel. My nerves were shot as I shook on the inside, but Monroe wouldn't back off me.

"Stubborn… so, so, so, stubborn!" he growled. "Then you're going to have to learn to defend yourself or something." I glanced over while he tugged at the whiskers on his chin. "And I don't mean with a gun either."

"Maybe I'll take up taekwondo," I chuckled sardonically, resting my head back on the steering wheel. "Or maybe I'll just keep a supply of metal pipes on hand. I'm good with those."

"Do we really have to go there?" The car seat squeaked under him as he shifted around. "Let's not talk about that again, dude."

"Why not?" I turned and stared him. "I took down a Reaper and so did you. And then they magically disappeared."

"What happened wasn't magic, I can assure you of that," he replied dourly. "Look, I was in a bad place when all that happened. As hard as it is, I'm trying to get back on track."

"As long as no red ropes are involved," I muttered under my breath.

"Hey now! We really aren't going to go there either," he growled again. "At least I'm trying to curb my instincts, which is more than I can say for you."

"Well, at least my instincts don't…" I paused. My anger was bursting inside, and I was directing it toward Monroe.

"Don't what?" he snapped back.

I shook my head. Softening my tone, I replied, "I'm stressed, poisoned, and I'm just not in the right frame of mind to discuss this." I reached for his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Well, so am I," he replied bitterly. "I mean, I'm not poisoned, but you know what I mean."

I looked up at him as the angry red in his eyes permeated. "The last thing I want to do is fight about this." I squeezed his shoulder and dropped my hand. "Let's just go inside, so we can get those tarts to Rosalee," I added, letting the subject go. I didn't want to know how he'd gotten rid of the Reapers, nor did I want to insult him. I shouldn't have brought any of it up.

"I don't want to fight either." He opened the car door. "But the sooner you're de-zaubertrankified, the better."

A/N: A little more angst building up after Renée went behind Monroe's back.

3 more chapters for today...