Author's Note: Story created by RandomFanFictionPressGirl14 and I.
~Natty.
Not the Hippies!
~PoM and M~
"A-lex!...A-lex!...A-lex!…A-lex!…"
The chants of his fans rang in his ears, drowning out all else, even the splitting headache he had. Okay so maybe it just made it worse.
Alex groaned yet again as he gained consciousness. Alright he was officially sick of things knocking him out. One or two times is cool, but when it's more than eight times now it kind of gets old.
His hearing cleared slowly along with his vision and he found that it wasn't a crowd cheering for him but a small voice. Small and British.
"Alex…" Private whispered, easing the lion to wake. "Alex it's time to wake up now…"
"Ugh, five more minutes..." The cat groaned.
"How about now?" Skipper's stern and loud voice broke him out of his drug induced slumber.
Alex groaned again and turned over away from the demand hoping it would go away. Instead he almost rolled over in two more penguins.
"Ey!" Rico complained as he was almost made into a penguin pancake, jumping away last second. The same couldn't be said for Kowalski who didn't have the same reactive reflexes.
Great, the lion thought, he was surrounded by flightless birds.
"Um, alittlehelp!" A meek voice from below him cried.
"Hey hippie, get off my soldier!" Skipper whined.
"What?" Alex suddenly felt the muffling and struggling beneath him, a bit surprised by it.
"For hunky dory's sake, LET THE MAN BREATHE!" The leader demanded.
Alex sat up, and the scientist emerged from under him, gasping and wheezing for air.
"OXYGEN! OH SWEET NECTAR OF THE DOUBLE BONDS!" Kowalski sucked in air.
"He's aight." Rico reassured, patting the analyst's back.
"Oh, what happened?" The cat asked the birds. "And why does my head hurt so much?"
"Ah hanuhl it." Rico stepped up with a raised flipper. "Ahem," He cleared his throat and pointed at the lion, his flipper playing the role of a gun. "BANG!"
Alex blinked blankly.
Kowalski cleared his own throat. "If I may handle it…"
"Ey!" Rico complained.
"You were shot." The analyst brought his flippers together in his explanation for the wild feline's head pain.
"WHAT?!" The lion exclaimed, looking frantically over his body. "Where!?" Alex looked from his body back down to them. "WHY?!"
"Don't worry big cat!" Skipper assured. "It was only a tranq. Nothing more. I guess ya scared the humans."
"The humans!? What about me?!" The cat shouted.
"What about you?" The leader shrugged.
"I was scared! They pointed a gun at me!" Alex exclaimed.
Skipper didn't look too caring. "Meh. They're humans. They don't care."
"Why not?! All I was doing was trying to talk to her! Why do they always do that!?" Alex said angrily.
"Well, in case you didn't know," Kowalski spoke, having just recovered from being squished. "Humans can't understand our speech like we can theirs."
"What are you talking about? OF COURSE they can understand us!" the lion rolled his eyes at the apparently stupid bird. "Why else would they talk to us in such high degrading voices?"
"Because-simply put-they believe we are too dumb to understand them."
"Dumb? I'm not dumb!" the cat snapped.
"Really?" Skipper asked. "Are ya sure? Ya seem to be!"
"Skipper…" Kowalski scolded.
"Heh, sorry Kowalski. It was there! I had to take the opportunity! But if the big cat wants to talk to the humans then by all means he should talk to the humans! No matter how many times they shoot him down!" Skipper exclaimed.
"Oh dear..." Private murmured, looking at the lion's face, watching it become enraged.
"Well, maybe I wouldn't have been shot had you, oh, I don't know, say, BROUGHT US BACK WITH YOU!" Alex exclaimed.
The leader sighed exasperated with an eye roll.
"Wait, what was that?" Alex demanded, pointing to the bird.
"What was what?" Skipper questioned like nothing happened.
"That thing you did with your eyes!" the lion accused.
"What?" Skipper shrugged.
"You did that...weird thing with your eyes!"
"I have no idea what you're referring to." the leader replied sarcastically.
"Well, you should!"
"Well I don't, really. What are you talking about?" The leader said blankly.
As the argument continued, Private asked Kowalski, "Do you think they'll be alright?"
"Fight! Fight! Fight! Woohoo yeah!" Rico cheered.
"Oh yeah, they'll be just fine!" The scientist waved a dismissive flipper.
"So," the leader nodded.
"So?" Alex raised a brow, bewildered.
"So." Skipper repeated affirmatively.
"So…what?!" the cat exclaimed.
"I don't know, you tell me."
Alex groaned. "Are we even talking about anything?"
"Apparently."
"Well, would you mind telling me what it is?"
"Oh I do mind." Skipper scoffed.
"What does that even mean!?"
The leader shrugged. "How should I know? You started this."
"No, YOU did! When you LEFT us!" Alex exclaimed.
"No, you did when you asked me what 'that' was."
"What WHAT was?" The lion threw out his gargantuan paws, fed up. Then he caught on, pointing. "Oh yeah! YOU rolled your eyes at me! What the heck was that about?"
"What was what about?"
"With your EYES, Skipper!"
"What about my eyes?"
"You ROLLED them!" the cat shouted.
"Did I?"
"You did!"
"Why would I roll them?"
"That's what I'd kind of like to know, okay?"
"I'd like to know too."
"Well tell me!"
"I don't know. Tell you what?" Skipper denied.
Private frowned. "Skippah…Alex…" They simply ignored him and continued their squabbling.
"Tell me why you rolled your eyes at me!" Alex raised his voice.
Skipper shrugged. "I don't know. Why would I?"
"Skipper…maybe Private's right…" Kowalski cut in.
"About what?" the leader turned.
"About you two fighting." the analyst clarified.
Skipper scoffed. "We're not fighting."
"Yes we are!" Alex shouted.
"Says who?" The bird defended.
Kowalski sighed. "Now, you are both fighting over the fact the two of you don't think you're fighting."
"Not me! I already know we're fighting!" Alex cut in.
The analyst ignored him to look at his leader. "Skipper shall we just tell him like planned?"
"Oh yeah." Skipper remembered and smacked the lion.
"OW!" Alex cried. "What was THAT for?"
"Stop trying to talk to the humans!" the leader scolded. "You're scaring them worse than Private when Manfredi went through that whole wearing dresses phase!"
Private whimpered as he recalled meekly. "He didn't wear underwear!"
Alex frowned in confusion. "Who's Manfredi?"
"Not the point!" Skipper exclaimed. "The point is, if ya don't want to keep getting a dart in your kisser, you'll sit down and leave them alone!"
"Why?" The lion asked. "I need answers!"
"And that's what this lucky guy is here for." Skipper pushed Kowalski in front, patting the analyst shoulder. "To answer ALL your hippie world peace questions."
"All my what?" Alex mumbled.
"So go ahead, ask!" Skipper urged, shoving the scientist with the clipboard forward for the lion's aid. "That's what he's here for! He won't bite ya! Rico might, you know because you're a hippie but I know for a fact Kowalski won't."
Kowalski shrugged to the feline. "What would you like to know?"
"Who brought us here?" The lion asked.
The analyst opened his beak to give an answer.
Skipper cut in. "How the heck should we know? Next question."
Alex went on. "Why were we knocked out?"
"Classified." Skipper answered.
Kowalski sighed. "You frightened Alice and Maurice with your presence."
"The fuzz bucket?" the lion questioned.
"No," Kowalski corrected. "The zoo hand."
"He's usually unseen." Skipper informed coolly.
"So he knocked us out to bring us to the zoo?" Alex concluded.
"What are you yammering on about?" Skipper shook his head. "You were knocked out IN the zoo."
Kowalski nodded. "Roughly twenty-five hours ago."
Skipper nodded. "Took a while for you to wake up. That's probably because they used more darts even after you were down. Now one dart would have done the trick but ho SIX?" The leader tsked.
"Nonono." The lion shook his head. "Someone knocked the four of us out to bring us TO the zoo!"
"You must have hit that huge head on the way down." Skipper whistled, not believing a word the cat was saying. It sounded crazy. Hippie crazy.
Alex shook his bushy head. "No, I swear! Someone knocked us out and shoved us in to crates! How else do you think we got here?"
The penguin analyst mirrored the head shake. "It was most likely animal control or the police. Why in electrons would you run rampant out in public in the first place?" Kowalski scolded the methods of the lion.
"Yeah!" The leader agreed. "Do you know no stealth what-so-ever?"
"I know stealth! I have a whole bunch of named maneuvers for that one subject!" Alex defended. "And what are you scolding me for? Marty's the one who escapes from zoos and trots down the street! And Gloria breaks through walls and Melman breaks clocks! I-" The lion paused and gasped. "Oh no where are they!"
"Calm down!" Skipper told him. "Your hippie friends are fine."
"Where are they?" Alex asked finally looked around. They were in a habitat but it was surrounded by a giant cage. THEY WERE IN A CAGE! "Where are WE!" The lion felt his breathing shut down, quickly starting to hyperventilate. He backed up into the corner of the caged walls, frantically looking around in fear. Nonono this was NOT good for his claustrophobia. Nono!
"Hey pussy cat!" Skipper tried again. "I told ya not to worry! They're safe!"
"Them!" The lion shouted. "Who cares about them! I'm talking about ME! WHY AM I IN A CAGE?"
"Uhg..." The leader face flippered. "You scared the humans! What did ya think they'd to to ya? Pamper you like royalty?"
"Kind of!" Alex nodded frantically.
"And it isn't like you haven't escaped before." Kowalski added. "I am sure the caging is just a precautionary measure."
"It's just like last time." Private said. Wait that wasn't a good thing was it? "Right? Alex, are you alright then?"
Alex was remembering the last time he was in the zoo. He stood on the rock in his old habitat, the one he wasn't in now and he was horrified. The fans were screaming his name at his return but he drowned it out. DuBois pointed a gun at him and fired… She tried to kill him…
His flashback became real before his eyes, the world spinning as it all morphed back to that night. The flashing of cameras and smiling people.
The lion's breathing picked up and he stepped backwards panting along with shaking. His eyes darted desperately for some sort of escape. He blanked out, not even noticing the penguin's callings of him or demands to calm down but he couldn't, he was frightened. He wanted-no, NEEDED a way out of here! That crazy lady was gonna kill him any minute!
"NO!" Alex screamed out in a roar and as a result he received a slap to the face. The cat staggered back into the cage, leaning against it in surprise.
"Snap out of it!" Skipper commanded. "You're safe!"
"D-DuBois..." Alex breathed out in a shuddered breath.
"The crazy lady? She's not here! She's probably somewhere in Kenya by now!" The leader told him.
The lion blinked, calming down slightly. "Kenya?"
"Or wherever arriving at that crazy island took her." Skipper said with a shrug.
The cat shook a little, sliding down the cage to the ground where he brought his knees to his chest and curled his tail in front of him. He looked around the cage frightened. "Why are we in here!"
"Um, cuz you were brought here?" Skipper replied in question. What was the cat's issue?
"I can't be in here! I need…wide space!" Alex gasped in between.
Skipper rolled his eyes. "Get used to it! You're stuck here!"
"Like back in Africa! Or Madagascar! Or Europe, you know, before you guys ditched us!" Alex exclaimed.
"But Alex, you aren't in any of those places." Private chirped in helpfully, patting the lion's leg.
Kowalski nodded. "You're in the Central Park Zoo in New York City." He informed the wild cat.
"Yeah," The cat commented. "But just like in those places, I'm STUCK here! And I actually WANT to be here!"
Skipper shrugged. "So what's the problem? Thought you wanted to come back to this luxurious dump. I thought it was the place you always want to be."
"It is! I'm here in the place I always wanted...but IN A CAGE! I can't stay in this thing!" Alex clutched the gate walls with his paws.
Skipper blinked. "And, what's wrong with a cage?"
"I'm claustrophobic in case you haven't realized!" the lion informed, waving around his paws wildly. He thought back to all the times it was blatantly obvious he had claustrophobia.
.
.
.
"Where? What? I'm in the box! Oh no! No, no! Not the box! Oh no! They can't transfer me! Not me! I can't breathe, can't breathe, darkness creeping in. Can't breathe, can't breathe, walls closing in around me. So alone, so alone…" Alex rocked back and forth in the crate.
.
.
"Nuh-uh." Rico shook his head, not recalling.
Private didn't either. "I never knew that."
"That was never particularly made apparent, no." Kowalski added in.
"Nope, sorry." Skipper told the lion. "But hey look at the bright side! I thought you liked the whole closed enclosure, zoo, city, thing." Skipper went on with a scoff. "You made THAT perfectly clear." He rolled his eyes, remembering all the times the lion made his love for New York obvious.
.
.
.
"This is your side of the island, and this is our side of the island. That is the bad side, where you can jump and prance around like a magical pixie horse, and do whatever the heck you wanna do all day long. And this, this is the good side of the island, for those who love New York and care about going home"
.
.
"Marty, I'm tired. I'm hungry. I just wanna go home…"
.
.
"Goodbyes can be bitter sweet. It seems like only 306 days ago, we were snatched from our beloved Central Park Zoo and dumped here in... rustic Madagascar. But now that we're leaving, seeing you all here reminds us just how many friends we've made."
.
.
"Me? I just wanna see the snow falling down on my beautiful city. New York, here we come!"
.
.
"Skipper, get us to the nearest post office... In New York!"
.
.
"We'll miss you little fuzz buckets! You've been a great crowd! If you ever come look us up in Manhattan, feel free to call first. Seriously though. Call, okay?"
.
.
"No, we gotta get home! We can fix it, we'll fix it! Yeah guys, c'mon we'll fix it! You just start from the outside pieces and work your way in. And yeah... perfect. Come on, don't just stand there guys! Marty! Drag that thingy over here, and we'll just attach it to this little dealy-bop over here and - We're not going home. We're never going home…"
.
.
.
"New York! New York! It's a heck of a town!"
.
.
.
Back in real time, the penguins were looking up at Alex.
"As I was saying, I thought you loved this place." Skipper shrugged.
"Of course I love this place!" Alex exclaimed, "I've only been here my whole life!"
"Then what's with your nancy-cat whining?" Skipper asked.
The lion huffed out his breath and dispersed his paws outwards. "You know what? Nothing! It's absolutely nothing!"
"Fine then." Skipper turned around. "Alright boys. Let's leave the prissy cat alone."
"Wait! Wait! You can't leave me in here!" Alex objected as the birds started to waddle away.
"Oh, but we can!" Skipper said.
"But-!" Alex tried but the birds were already slipping under the wire fence of his new habitat.
"You'll be fine." Skipper told him flatly. "You're a big cat." The leader reassured.
"And if you do need anything we are right in our own habitat close by." Private smiled to the cat.
Alex frowned, eyes frightened and sad. "But...!"
"You should do fine." Kowalski nodded, following the leader and private in belly sliding away.
"Uh-huh!" Rico gave the lion a salute before sliding off himself.
Alex watched them go sadly and sighed, sliding down the gate to sit curled up with his knees to his chest. He sighed, never knowing he'd ever be so depressed to be home.
~PoM and M~
"Are you sure Alex will be fine?" The youngest of the penguins, Private, asked as they waddled on back to their own habitat for the night.
"Sure he will." the leader looked to the young cadet. "If he can handle fighting off fossas and crazed animal skinning obsessed women, I think he can handle a night in the box." Skipper said.
"I must agree with Skipper." Kowalski nodded. "His natural survival instincts should kick in if and when he needs them. It's a lion's way."
"Um…nom nom?" Rico suggested and then more graphically pretended to viciously tear something apart with disgusting sounds.
Kowalski frowned. "I doubt he would devour anyone…Skipper?" He looked to the leader for his say in the matter.
Skipper scoffed. "Naw, that kitty couldn't escape that cage if his life depended on it."
Private frowned. "And that's a good thing then?"
Skipper turned to the youngster with a perked brow. "Do you wanna be eaten?"
"No. At least I don't think I'd like to be…" Private admitted, looking down at his twiddling flippers.
"Then it's a good thing." The leader nodded.
"Ayo Skipper!" Marty's voice called as the birds passed by his caged gated habitat.
"Well lookie here boys, it's our monochromatic friend!" Skipper smiled.
"Hey man." the zebra greeted with a smile on his muzzle, pressing his hooves up against the gate of his habitat. "What's going on?"
"Apparently, you and that pussy cat were shipped here along with those other two. That lovely doll and the one with the neck." The leader informed.
"Oh I know all that." the zebra waved off. "I was just wondering what was up with you birds out in the free world."
"Nothing much." Skipper shrugged. "We just saw that cat. He was freaking out about being in a cage."
"Oh yeah, Alex is REAL claustrophobic!" Marty told them.
"Cat'll be fine. He'll get used to it." Skipper reassured.
"Well sometimes Al CAN be a bit of a drama lion." Marty laughed. "But I don't mind the caged habitat. So long as we're back home together it doesn't matter to me!"
"See!" Skipper looked at his team. "Someone who won't act like a Nancy-pants!"
The zebra smirked. "Ya know I really missed you birds!"
"Nice to know the feeling's mutual." The leader returned.
"So uh we're gonna be staying here now right?" Marty asked. "You're not gonna ship us off someplace else?"
Skipper looked to the options guy. "Kowalski?"
"From my knowledge," The scientist spoke. "You should be staying here."
"Woah for real? Alex would LOVE that!" Marty exclaimed.
"Doesn't seem that way." Skipper said.
"Well Alex is Alex! You all know Alex!" Marty looked between the four birds through the fence. "...Don't you?"
There were some murmurs and shoulder shrugs. Everyone knew the topic that was Alex the lion.
"Well moving past the concerns for that cat, how are you doing Stripes?" Skipper asked.
"Me?" The zebra responded. "I'm crack-a-lackin! Good to be back home to where it all started you know?"
"Good to hear!" Skipper grinned. "And how are the other two?"
"You mean Gloria and Melman? They're good but the lovebirds are a little bummed about being separated." Marty informed. "Other than that and Alex's mood swings, we're all good!"
"Even more good to hear!" The leader penguin beamed.
"It's wonderful that you all are back in the zoo it really is." Private chirped up.
"Yeah! Real wonderful!" The zebra responded. "I'm lovin' it!"
"Sorry to cut the reunion short our monochromatic friend, but we gotta hit the bunks." Skipper said.
Kowalski looked up at the height of the moon in the sky. "Good golly it IS past scheduled lights out."
"Night-night!" Rico waved.
Marty chuckled. "Yeah, I guess I should do the same." The zebra turned around to his bed of hay and called over his shoulder, "Night!"
"Goodnight, Marty!" Private smiled with his own little modest wave of the flipper. As the young soldier waddled after his teammates, his smile still stuck. "What a nice zebra he is."
"Yeah," Skipper commented. "Good man."
Private let out a loud yawn that had all three elder penguins give a knowing smile.
Kowalski smirked and ruffled the private's head feathers. "Looks like some small aquatic bird is ready for his slumber."
"Daaaw!" Rico cooed.
Private blushed and whacked the flipper from his head. "Stop it K'walski… I'm not all that tired…" the young one tried to play off.
Skipper gave his own knowing grin. "Is that so?" The leader ruffled Private's head feathers as well in his taunt.
"Really Skippah, I'm not tired at all."
Skipper put his flippers on his hips, with a playful raised brow. "You don't lie to your commanding officer Private. Now are you feeling sleepy or not?"
Another yawn from the youngster answered his question.
Kowalski looked to the leader. "I do believe that is the obvious answer."
Skipper gave a small chuckle. "Agreed."
"I believe it's time for our little private to hit the bunks." Skipper cooed a bit.
Private frowned. "Actually Skippah…I'd like to do something before bed if that's alright with you."
The leader was intrigued. "What might that be?"
Private gave a small smile and nodded over to the caged lion pen hopefully.
Skipper's demeanor quickly became serious. "Back to the pussy cat? What for?"
The private pat his leader modestly on the cheek before waddling off to the gated lion exhibit. "Alex! Are you still awake in there?"
Back with the other three taller penguins, Skipper was left blinking. He looked back to his two other teammates for clarification. "Did he just pat me?"
Kowalski and Rico exchanged glances.
"Nope." Rico automatically shook his head.
"Definitely not." Kowalski said quickly. "I wouldn't dwell on it."
~PoM and M~
"Alex, are you up then?" Private managed to climb over the gate, looking around. He found a sleeping lion. "Oh…I suppose not…" He smiled at the exhausted cat. It must have been a long trip. "G'nite gov'nah..." The young bird's tail wagged a bit as he climbed back over the fence, leaving Alex for the night.
"Kitty asleep?" The leader asked.
Private nodded quietly speaking. "Yes, fast asleep. He's so cute and plushy, sir!" The private squealed in a shrill giggling fit.
"Sure, whatever floats your boat." The leader turned back towards their own habitat. "Let's hit the hay boys."
"Aye, Skippah." Private saluted and the penguins retreated to their habitat, down the hatch. All save for one. "Aren't you coming, Skippah?"
"Yeah, yeah," The commando waved a dismissive flipper. "I'll be down in a sec." After the hatch was closed, Skipper looked around cautiously before sneaking off to the gated lion habitat. With ease Skipper hopped the fence, landing in a crouch silently as he then approached the sleeping lion.
Well, he did look kinda cute in his sleep, he had to admit. Crazy cat. The leader noticed how worn out Alex looked, like the lion hadn't slept correctly in years. Well, that was the circus for ya!
And uh…everything else the lion's been through.
The leader gave a smirk and pat the sleeping lion's bushy head. Things would get better for the big guy. Skipper was sure of it. He yawned. Looks like he was ready for bed too.
"Goodnight, psychotic cat…" Skipper gave a salute to the slumbering feline and left. The night went on.