Chapter 119

The faint sounds of music woke me out of my dreams, which was probably for the best. Once the dreams of Nick had faded, dreams of Monroe had become the new theme. The sounds beyond my bedroom were getting louder. I drew back the covers and pulled myself out of bed.

"I thought I turned the TV off," I mumbled aloud as I opened my bedroom door and went to the living room. It wasn't the TV. It was coming from outside. I swore I heard… a cello?

I turned on the porch light and opened the door. Amongst the Portland drizzle, Monroe sat in a folding chair on the sidewalk at the bottom of my steps with his cello between his legs. And to top it off, he was wearing my favorite gray sweater under his tan jacket. He grinned at me as I rubbed my eyes.

"Monroe?" I asked tentatively. Maybe I was still dreaming.

He didn't respond, but instead he started to play. It only took a few notes for me to recognize it. Jim Croce's 'I'll Have to Say I Love You in a Song.' Oh, my God. Was he for real?

The melodic, deep tones of the cello echoed loudly on my street as he continued his serenade. The bow glided across the strings, and with it my heart leapt at each note. Monroe played effortlessly while the words danced through my head.

"Well, I know it's kind of late.
I hope I didn't wake you.
But what I got to say can't wait.
I know you'd understand.

Every time I tried to tell you,
The words just came out wrong.
So I'll have to say I love you in a song…"

It was beautiful, absolutely beautiful. I had to pinch myself because it sure felt like the best dream ever. Monroe continued to draw his bow against the strings, eyes red and bright. Tears poured from my eyes. Joyful, wonderful tears. The love for that man was just beyond anything I'd ever felt before.

The porch light flashed on at the house next door.

My neighbor stepped out on her porch in her hairnet and floral nightgown. "We're trying to sleep over here!" she yelled out to Monroe.

Monroe's eyes widened, but he ignored her as he continued to play.

"Are you listening to me, you loon?" she squawked.

Monroe didn't falter as he avoided my neighbor's gaze, playing a bit louder.

She walked to the edge of her porch, turned to me and yelled, "If he doesn't stop, then I'm calling the cops!"

"He'll be done soon," I managed to respond, still in a daze.

Monroe picked up the tempo of the song, and I put my hand to my mouth as he tried unsuccessfully to keep his face from twisting into a growl at my neighbor. When he finished, I ran down the steps to him, while the tears continued to stream down my cheeks. He stood up from the chair and propped up his cello.

"Monroe, I don't understand," I exclaimed. "You've ignored me for days and days, you've…"

"I love you, Renée." He pulled me in tightly as the words trickled into my ears. Nothing else mattered. The days cleared from my mind and were replaced by the most amazing words ever. "It's not exactly a boom box," he said softly in my ear, "but it worked better than in the movie, I hope."

"Monroe, I love you so much!" The crazy 'L' word floated off my tongue in ecstasy. It wasn't crazy anymore. It was wonderful, love, love, love! "It was better than any boom box!" I kissed him so hard that I almost knocked him over.

"Good. He loves you, you love him," yelled my neighbor. We stopped kissing to look up. "Now let the rest of us get some sleep. Sheesh!" She went back inside, slamming her front door behind her.

I reached for his arm. "Oh, Monroe, I'm so sorry about her. She's…"

"I don't care what she says," he scoffed before I could finish. "I wasn't going to have anything stop me this time. I've been trying to do this properly far too long, but it keeps getting messed up." He ran his hand through his hair. "Leos like grand gestures, so I was trying to, you know, be all grand about it."

He'd looked up my sign. Wow…

"I thought you didn't believe in astrology?"

"I don't, but, you know, you do." Monroe gave me a sheepish grin. "So I, umm, did a little reading and once I started… Well, I might not have much of a background in astrological… anything, but from what I could tell, you kinda fit the Leo description, like, quintessentially spot on." He let out a short chuckle. "So, I wanted to do this whole, big romantic… thing, and, umm, win your heart."

"You didn't need to… It didn't have to be…" I wiped away at my tears, but they kept flowing. "Monroe, you've had my heart for a while." I thought back to all the 'big plans' he'd made in the weeks prior, and how each time something had happened. He was persistent, that was for sure. I glanced down at the cello as the rain beaded down the front. I wiped at it with my sleeve. "You've got to cover it up or the water will warp the wood."

Monroe removed his jacket, draping it over the cello. He touched the damp cuff of my PJs. "Back to flannel, huh?"

I chuckled through my tears. "Yeah."

"No, it's fine… Great actually. Maybe you're right. Maybe that was the problem. All these big plans just to say the words I'd been wanting to say for a while now. I wanted it to be too perfect, and that's just not us."

"This was perfect." My hand caressed his bearded cheek as he looked back at me. "Beyond perfect."

"Yeah, but we're not. But… umm, I mean that in a good way." He grinned slightly. "We're more muss and fuss, you know?"

"A beautiful mess?"

"Yeah, that." He nodded with a chuckle. "So you being in flannel tonight, that's good. That kinda works." He glanced up. "Actually, the rain is kinda befitting, too."

"But these last few days I thought you hated me. I hadn't heard from you and…"

"Hate you? No…" he cut in, taking my hand and holding it gently. "I just needed time to sort things through. But no matter how much thinking I did, every conclusion came back to one constant… I'm in love with you." He shifted on his heels. "I kinda drove by a few times to make sure you were safe, though."

"Really?" A chuckle escaped me. "Stalker much?" I replied teasingly. Perhaps I hadn't imagined the VW cricket chirps after all.

"Well, I already knew where you lived," he retorted. "So it wasn't stalking as much as, you know, keeping an eye out for any malicious activity. And well, I kinda, umm, missed the scent of your vanilla, too."

I ran a hand through my damp hair as the drizzling rain continued. "I wish you'd done more than just drive by."

"Well, I wanted to do this. And that required some time to memorize the song," he told me as he sported a lopsided grin. "It still wasn't right, but Nick said you were talking about selling my Pilates machine, so I knew I needed to hurry the hell up."

"I wasn't really going to sell it," I admitted. "I was just venting to Nick."

'Well, that's good, 'cause I hope I can still use it."

I chuckled softly. "Yeah, I think I can work you in." I kept his gaze as I added somberly, "But you should've at least called, so I didn't think you'd given up on me."

"I would've, but I needed the distance. Man, with this whole Zaubertrank thing... I mean, to hear you say you loved someone else..." Monroe cupped my chin. "When those words came from your lips and they weren't for me… Oh, dude…" He shook his head as it dipped down. "Cheating isn't, you know, all that easily forgivable. And I know this was like a totally not-your-fault thing, but the hurt was real, man. All the lying and the sneaking around, and the images in my head… It was so brutal." He looked back up with the red in eyes reflecting his pain. "I had to take some time away to purge the bad thoughts out so I could move past this." He gestured toward his temple. "You know, like, really clear my head, which meant no distractions. So I amped up my routine and, you know, centered myself." He sighed. "And, man, it took a lot of centering, lemme tell ya. That night I caught you two I almost destroyed my house, fighting with myself, just to keep from hunting down Nick, and…" His mouth formed a thin line. "Well, let's just say that my control is better than I thought it was, and we'll leave it at that."

The tears began once more. "Monroe, you'll never know how sorry I am that this happened."

Thank goodness for his control. If Mr. Royal Pain had done his homework, perhaps he'd have realized I was dating a Blutbad, and that Blutbad might've killed the Grimm, screwing up his baby-making plans. Stupid Royal. Stupid Zaubertrank.

"You don't have to apologize anymore," Monroe replied, his eyes fading back to brown. "But like I said, some things are gonna need to change. These four days have been, like, hell, and that was with knowing you were safe in your house every night. If I ever lost you for real, well, it would kill me…"

I nodded slowly. "I'm sorry I keep things from you, and that I'm stubborn, and reckless, and stupid…"

Monroe kissed me before I kept on blabbering. Once he let go he said, "One thing you never are is stupid. The other things, well…"

My neighbor reemerged. "Talking is just as annoying as that cello," she whined. "Go do that inside, so I can get my beauty sleep!"

"We'll be inside soon. I'm sorry!" I called out as my neighbor disdainfully shook her head. I turned to Monroe once she was inside. "Don't listen to her. Your cello was delightful."

"Eh, I'm ignoring her comments. It just adds to our beautiful mess," he quipped. "Speaking of, she'll need more than a few hours if she's sleeping for beauty, if you ask me."

I shook my head at him, but I didn't verbally disagree. He was probably right.

Monroe's eyes brightened. "Oh! Almost forgot!" Monroe bent down under his chair and returned with a bouquet of roses. Beautiful, lavender roses.

"Oh, Monroe," I said in awe.

"We live in the city of roses, but these were the hardest things to find. But I found them." Monroe held them out to me while grinning. "This I actually got right."

My heart melted. "So what does lavender mean?" I asked while reaching for the bouquet as the scent enveloped me.

"Yeah, I thought you might ask that." He hesitated, but then with a smirk he replied, "It means love at first sight. I know, I know… it's sappy, right?"

"I knew lavender was my favorite color for a reason." I held the roses to my nose. "And if it's the truth, then it's not sappy."

"Well, it's the truth," he replied as his genuine smile emerged. "That doesn't scare ya, does it?"

"You're asking the gal who's dating a Blutbad if that's scary?" I bit my lip. If the Big Bad Wolf thought I was scared because he fell for me at a bar, then he really needed to rethink our abnormal relationship.

"Okay, well, maybe scary isn't the right word." Monroe took my face in his hands as he kissed me hard. "I mean this in a good way, but I'm kinda glad your cam wheel jammed. I mean, I normally don't find joy when a clock breaks, but, you know, yours was the exception, man." He kissed me once more. "Thank goodness for the universe, huh?"

"It sure knew what it was doing," I replied against his lips.

"When you came back into my life, it renewed my faith in a lot of things," he said as he held me. "Especially love."

"And you reminded me what love really is." As I let him go I added, "Monroe, I think you just turned us into a predictable, romantic movie."

"What do you mean?"

"Never mind." I shook my head as I grinned. Move over Mark Darcy, I had my Monroe, just like it was meant to be. "Now bring that wonderful cello of yours inside and love me the rest of the way before my neighbor comes out again and turns the hose on us."

Monroe wiped at his forehead. "With this rain I think we've gotten hosed down enough already, but you don't have to ask me twice." Monroe shook out his wet jacket, folded up his chair, sliding it under his arm, and then picked up his cello with ease. "So I gotta ask, man… You sure you wouldn't prefer Nick over me?" He flashed me a teasing grin.

"Oh, hush!" I cried out while he laughed. "You. Always you."

I took Monroe's arm as we walked up to the house. The chair, cello and roses were set aside, as he took me in his arms, kissing down my face. My fingers tangled in his wet curls. We were nearly drenched from standing outside so long, but I didn't care. I'd missed him so much.

"I love you," he murmured once he reached my neck. The words brushed against my skin, sending shivers all through me.

"Not as much as I love you," I sighed out as he trailed more kisses over my face and back to my lips. "It's wonderful to finally say it aloud." I could say it over and over.

Monroe chuckled. "Yeah, umm, finally."

I looked up at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It doesn't matter." He leaned down to kiss me again.

"No, what?" I asked as I let his lips go.

"Well, it's not exactly all that true."

"Huh?"

Monroe cleared his throat. "I guess you don't, umm, remember everything about that night I picked you up at Nick's trailer when you had too much tequila, huh?"

Oh, dear God…

"You were singing a lot that night," he continued, "and then you sang Herman's Hermit's 'Do You Wanna Know a Secret,' and you kinda told me you loved me, umm, a few times."

I gasped as my face flushed hot. I told him! Oh, holy crap! I controlled my voice as I replied, "Okay, well first of all, that's The Beatles, and secondly, why on Earth didn't you say anything?"

Monroe laughed then replied, "Well, as you reminded me, the song says that I wasn't supposed to tell." His smug grin was fully visible. "And I took you out the next night, you know, under the stars so I could say it back, but then… Well, you know the rest."

I ducked my head down. "And all this time you knew?"

"Well, I had a good feeling before, but that night, you know, just helped confirm it. But you were drunk, like, I'm talking really drunk, so I mean, it didn't count like tonight did."

"Oh my…" So I'd said it already. All these silly fears that I was going let it slip out, that it was too soon, or that I wasn't ready, and I'd already said it, apparently many times. Wow…

He lifted my chin, giving me another kiss. "I'm glad it happened. Lemme tell ya, remembering that night kinda got me through this, because I knew you loved me and, you know, that gave me a modicum of hope."

I held his gaze, holding back my tears. "But you said it was sour grapes."

Monroe curled his arms around me. "Yeah, well, a wise woman once said that you gotta climb the tree to find out those grapes are pretty awesome or, you know, something like that."

"Thanks for climbing the tree." I leaned up to kiss him again. "Now you wanna pick off a few grapes?"

"I plan on having more than just grapes," he replied as his eyes burned brightly in my dimly-lit living room. The red and green lights danced along the walls as I forced my eyes in return.

Monroe stepped back. "When did you learn to do that?"

"Just something I've been practicing."

A small grin formed under his beard. "You're just full of surprises."

"We both are," I grinned in reply.

Monroe cupped my face in his hands. "And there'll be many more to come."

With that he kissed me deeply and with a resonance that filled my heart. Every word, every thought, every feeling poured out from that kiss. He slipped off my soggy, flannel PJs, and I peeled off his soaked, gray sweater, our mouths barely pausing while our clothes fell off, piece by piece.

Our bodies melded as one as I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me to the bedroom, alternating between unhurried kisses to more fervent ones.

As Monroe lay me down on the bed, he gazed at me with such desire that I was giddy and perhaps a bit overwhelmed. Never had I felt so completely wanted than at this moment.

He closed the distance between us and moved on top of me. "It shouldn't have taken me this long to say it back." His words came out with unsteady breaths. "I shouldn't have waited."

"Even without the words, it was always there, Monroe. It's always been there. You know it and I know it."

"Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours." Each phrase was separated with Monroe's kiss. Beethoven's words stilled my heart. I was his and he was mine. Ever ours. Forever and always. My Leo Love Bug reached new heights.

As Monroe made love to me, we were filled with an ever-present current of heat and electricity coursing back and forth between us… mouths kissing, hands caressing, hearts and souls combined. Every touch sent a conflagration through me. Oh, this went beyond just sex. This was love… Pure, unconditional, real love. We moved slowly, letting the passion build and swell. Our bodies intertwined, and I reveled in the heat of my skin against his, creating a sweet-scented mixture of Old Spice and vanilla.

"Mine," Monroe whispered near my ear. No demanding tone, just the lovely word, 'Mine.'

"Yours," I breathed out. No inhibitions, no reservations.

My chest beat madly against Monroe's as we crashed together. Words were lost and were replaced by rapturous moans. Nothing else mattered, everything else drifted away in that moment. It was the most delicious pleasure I'd ever experienced.

My heart wouldn't settle down long after we'd finished. I hummed as Monroe traced his fingers down my hip.

"Me and you and you and me.
No matter how they tossed the dice, it had to be.
The only one for me is you and you for me.
So happy together.

I can't see me loving nobody but you,
For all my life.
When you're with me,
Baby, the skies will be blue,
For all my life…"

"I almost played that one on my cello," said Monroe, his voice catching me off guard.

I tilted my head up at him. "Really?"

"Honest to God."

"This one is good, but the other one was better."

Monroe lightly chuckled. "So, I chose well, huh?"

I leaned in to kiss him. "Perfect."

As my head rested back on the pillow, I smiled. There I was, back on cloud nine again, with a sky of blue surrounding me, driving off the dark clouds of the past few months. The only thing that kept me from floating away was Monroe's strong arms holding me tight as we lay in bed. My smile wouldn't leave my face. The universe had finally renewed my happiness after so many people had tried to destroy it.

"Thank you universe," I murmured under my breath as Monroe cradled me in his embrace. "Thank you for everything!"

A/N: YAY! So Monroe returned with a big surprise for Renée, and that crazy "L" word is finally out there. But the twist of it all was that Renée had told him she loved him already. Tee-hee!

So the Jim Croce song has been dancing in my head throughout this whole story... All those times he tried to say he loved her back, all the crazy ways he wanted to do it perfectly, but then it would get fouled up. This song fit the whole thing perfectly.

So I did a search on YouTube for someone playing this song on cello to add to the story, but guess what... No one had a video of a cello. So I went on a mission, writing e-mails to YouTubers, requesting the song, but to no avail.

Then one day I got a reply from a guy named Niklas in Germany. (Yes, I said Germany! How befitting, right?) He was interested in helping me with my little project. Niklas practiced the song, added a little background music, and uploaded the video to YouTube just for me!

***You need to watch this video!***
This guy is wonderful and has a few other cello videos, too. Be sure to click on the like button on his video for me and subscribe. If he's willing, he might play some more songs for us. (;

Copy and paste this into Google - pP6ugMwpslE
It should be the first YouTube that comes up! Do it, do it, do it! (I also have the direct link on my profile in case you can't find it.)

Thank you, Niklas, for your help in adding this extra, special touch to my little, love story. Danke!

One more chapter left to tie everything up. Hope you enjoyed this. Please comment and let me know what you thought!