Chapter 3
While Sheldon busied himself hanging blankets across the windows facing the street to block out the light, Penny made her decision regarding Leslie Winkle.
She used Leonard's cell to make the call back to the number she'd referenced. It rang a few times and then was answered by an excited and agitated Leslie Winkle.
"It's about Goddamned time you called me, Hofstadter. You need to get over here, alone, so we can make our plans. I figure – "
"This is Penny Dunn. Leonard's dead and has been for a while. It's just Sheldon and me and I just wanted you to know about Leonard since you two were friends. Goodbye, Dr. Winkle."
"Wait! Cooper's alive but Leonard's dead? Okay. That'll work out even better. I can work with you and you can keep him in his place. Come on over and we'll have a planning session. Have you seen what's going on outside?"
"Like I said, Goodbye, Dr. Winkle." She disconnected the call and replaced the cell in its charger. She knew she'd done the right thing. The woman was a real bitch but at least she didn't make any excuses for herself.
Penny just felt better with only Sheldon in her life. Adding Winkle to the mix, especially considering how hateful she was towards Sheldon, would shatter whatever frail relationship she had forged with the awkward physicist. She wanted more of a 'marriage' with Sheldon even without the sexual component and Winkle would prove a serious distraction.
She knew her Moon Pie still felt awkward about the single bout of emotionally-induced coitus. 'Listen to me! I'm beginning to sound like him…'
Sheldon had moved to the kitchen and had a large mixing bowl on the table and was pouring stuff into it after carefully measuring the quantities. Between each substance, he rinsed and washed and dried the measuring cup.
"Whatcha cookin', good lookin'?" Penny leaned over to see what was in the mixing bowl and then leaped back. She couldn't breathe for a second and her eyes were watering and her nose began to run.
"I AM NOT EATING THAT, MOON PIE!"
"Good Lord, woman! Didn't you see my protective goggles, gloves and face mask? Stand back for a few moments until the mixture has a chance to gel and then ask your questions. It is imperative that the process not be interrupted at this point. There will be no odor once it gels, of that you can be sure. Just…trust me, Penny, for once? This is my world and you know nothing of it."
He turned his back on her and she walked into the living room and plopped on his spot just to aggravate him but he wasn't watching her.
Sheldon gingerly stirred the mixture with a plastic spoon and poured the mixture into several glass bottles that he'd emptied out…not her precious liquor bottles, he wasn't a total fool…and then he placed the uncapped bottles into the oven and set the temperature for 200degrees and set the timer for 17 minutes.
He replaced his protective gear in his backpack and then sat next to her on the couch, not bothering to bicker about her being in 'his spot'.
"So, what have you decided to do about Winkle's proposal? There is a certain logic to the two of you allying and finding somewhere safe to ride out the Plague. You're both much better suited to survival in the new society than I and - "
"Shut up, Sheldon! Just shut up! I told her 'goodbye' after telling her about Leonard. I won't cut you loose, Sheldon, not ever! How could you even think I'd – " Her voice had risen to near-shouting levels.
"YOU WILL, PENNY – WHEN THE TIME COMES – AND I'LL BE FINE WITH IT BECAUSE I NEED YOU TO SURVIVE!"
He practically screamed at her and then jumped up and began to pace back and forth with the coffee table between them. His hands were shaking and she could see the pulse throb in his neck and that vein in his forehead that was a precursor to a hissy fit.
"Is that so hard for you to understand, Penny? Your survival is imperative to me and Winkle has 'street smarts' and a scientific background while you have 'street smarts' and 'backwoods skills' that will enhance your survival as a team."
He tried to calm down. She could see him visibly deflate with the effort to calm him self. He whispered, "You must move on, Penny…you must."
Penny's taken aback when she hears the whispered words he probably never intended her to hear. Her heart skips a beat and suddenly she feels that giddy feeling she almost never felt with Leonard after the first blush of new romance had worn off.
'He cares for me, not just about me. He's willing to step back and let Winkle and I go. I have to know what he really feels. Is it obligation or friendship or his damned Southern chivalry or is he paralyzed by the fear of so many changes? Or is it truly a self-sacrificing devotion to – me?'
"Okay, suppose I do hook up with Winkle. Go where? And how? And what about supplies en route? And what about – "
Leonard's cell phone rings and she ignores it but Sheldon can't allow a phone to ring without being answered. It irks him, pisses him off and he hates Leonard's bloody ring tone for Leslie – Lionel Richie's All Night Long. He wonders if Penny ever called him out on it. Probably not. Penny tolerated too much in a relationship. Sheldon always felt she gave so much more than she got.
He snatched up the phone and snarled into it, "What?"
"Listen, dumbass! People are going crazy. I just watched a woman murder her sister for car keys! I'm – "
"You and Penny need to discuss things face-to-face. She needs to know just what you bring to the table. Drive over here and then turn up Mariposa Street to the underground garage entrance. I'll meet you there in 20 minutes. Bring what you want to keep because you're not going back there, understand?"
"Let me talk to the blonde. I have – "
"Twenty minutes, Winkle, or you're on your own." He snarled into the phone the entire time and when Penny started to get in his face, he snarled at her as well.
"Don't, Penny. The matter is closed for discussion. Talk with her and find out what she'll bring that will enhance the journey. I think – ah, the goodies are through."
The oven timer had chimed and interrupted him so she never heard what he was going to say. She was getting so pissed at him that she could hardly keep from popping him one in the mouth.
Sheldon turned off the oven timer and put on oven mitts. He very gently took each bottle out of the oven and placed it on the counter to cool and then cap. He pushed the oven door shut with a hip and then grinned at Penny.
"I could have made more but that would have meant sacrificing wine bottles – something I know you're loath to do, Penny."
"What the fuck's going on here, Sheldon? You have no right – " She meant making 'deals' with Winkle as if she had no say so in the matter.
"Bombs, Penny. I have every right to make them. These are dangerous times and – " he reached into the mixing bowl and grabbed some of the thick gelled mess on a finger and flicked it at the wall.
BANG!
Penny yelped in surprise at the explosion and the hole in the wall, a fist-sized hole. Her eyes were bugging out of her head and she was beginning to hyperventilate.
"As I was saying, Penny, these are dangerous times and these four bottles, once cooled and allowed to set after being capped, may give you an edge when you need one. I'll go over the necessary handling features for safety but using them," and here he got his damned smugly superior look, "requires nothing more than a good aim and a strong arm, both of which you possess, Slugger."
"Sheldon – you keep bomb-making stuff in your apartment? Are you nuts?"
"Actually, I made these from stuff we salvaged from your kitchen. Every household is a bomb-making factory, Penny. Ammonia, bleach, iodine (that's from my stocks), all mixed in the proper proportions, and empty bottles and voila! Bombs."
"Holy shit, Sheldon! That's incredible. How do you light them?"
"As I said, Penny, you just throw them hard and they go off…and once we place loose coins or screws or nails or whatever is at hand onto the sticky side of duct tape and wrap the bottles just once, we have grenades. Child's play, really. I blew up my Mee Maw's old outhouse with one when I was eight or nine. Made my Pap Paw finally get indoor plumbing."
It was too much for her. She started to laugh and laugh until she was coughing and in danger of puking. He looked at her indignantly and waited for her emotional outburst to subside before continuing but she surprised him with a fierce hug.
"Sheldon, you never cease to amaze me. We don't need Winkle, honey. We – "
"Crap! She'll be here in a few minutes. Look, once these have cooled, put the caps back on them and then scrounge up loose change, nails, screws, anything that will hurt when it hits flesh and we'll finish these up when I get back."
"Back from where?"
"The garage grille is down and locked and I told her to come in that way. She'll need help carrying up all the crap she 'thinks' she needs. I'll make her sort it out downstairs to save my aching back from making a lot of trips."
Penny had a momentary vision of her rubbing massage oil into Sheldon's back in bed. She could almost feel his smooth skin under her kneading fingertips. She shivered and then glared at him as if her lewd thoughts were somehow his fault. She reluctantly released him and watched him leave.
Winkle was early and impatient and was blowing her horn every few minutes. Sheldon heard the horn from the lobby and muttered that he was going to shove that horn up her butt if she didn't quit calling attention to the building.
She drove into the garage and stopped and got out. Sheldon closed the grille and locked it with the pins and then turned on her, pissed off and ready to knock her on her ass.
"How stupid are you, Winkle? Why not just send up fireworks to announce your arrival? You're early and that's your fault. We don't need the building overrun with looters or nutballs or any other people who lurk in the dark."
They unloaded her backseat and trunk and Sheldon insisted that she unpack her three suitcases and two backpacks. The two cardboard boxes of canned goods were definitely going upstairs so he sent her up with one while he sorted through the amazing pile of crap she thought was 'necessary'.
Hairdryer? Makeup? Text books? Where the hell did she think she was going – to a symposium? It all went into the trash barrel but there were things she and Penny would need.
Feminine hygiene products went into a sports bag as did a box of condoms. They might need to 'negotiate' or join a social group and an unwanted STD or pregnancy would not be welcomed. He threw party clothes away, high heels, and a curling iron, but kept the 3 pairs of sneakers and a pair of hiking boots to the suitcase.
"What the hell, Cooper! I need that stuff. What do you think you're doing?" Penny and Leslie had come down to help him carry up stuff and Winkle went ballistic when she saw what he'd trashed.
"Saving you time and prepping you a survival backpack. If the car breaks down and you have to hoof it, you won't want all this weight." He looked at her car and shook his head. Too small. An idea blossomed in the back of his mind but he set it aside for later examination.
It was late by the time they got everything upstairs that was needed in the short run. The rest was left in her car for later repacking along with Penny's stuff.
"I'm taking a shower and going to bed. You two need to formulate a plan that will ensure your survival. Penny, please show her the survival packs I made up. She might have some other ideas about what you'll need. Leslie, take my room to sleep in when you finish up. Goodnight."
Penny watched him leave the living room and turned to Winkle. "He comes with us or there is no 'us', understand? No debate."
Winkle knew there was no moving the blonde from her position regarding the dumbass so she just jumped right into the planning.
Penny crawled into bed and snuggled up next to Sheldon. It was really late and she was dead tired. She and Winkle had reached a general consensus and she wanted to talk with Sheldon but he was asleep.
She kissed the corner of his mouth impulsively and then rearranged his arms so that she could wrap them around her and sleep safe.
He was gone when she awoke. She stumbled out into the kitchen and saw that he'd made fresh coffee and cut up the last of their fresh fruit into a bowl for her.
Then she read the note folded under her clean cup.
"Damn you, Moon Pie. You better not be late or I'll…"