Wishes
Stage 14 - The Memories
It was cold… it was really cold, but that was okay. Cold meant snow, and little Joshua loves the snow!
He was running around in the yard, laughing and screaming as he danced in the snow, his little kimono flying open and he didn't care at all! He could hear his parents calling him to come over so they could fix it again, but he didn't care and he just kept playing and laughing. He made snowballs, too, and when his father came over anyway to fix his kimono, he got a face full of snow and a loud laugh from Joshua as the boy ran off again.
His parents would scold him later, but Joshua was having so much fun he couldn't care!
However, little Joshua only had so much stamina, so eventually he collapsed in the snow, laughing.
His parents took him back inside then, but he was still giggling, his cheeks red from running around so much. He let his parents tuck him in and he fell asleep almost immediately, still giggling and telling himself he'd go play in the snow the next day, too.
It was the middle of the night, though, that Joshua woke up when he heard something… something from the gardens. It sounded like…
…singing…?
Slowly, he got up to his knees, and crawled over to the window, peeking outside through the sliding door before he crawled outside so he could look through the railing.
He saw him then for the first time…
A man, tall and strong, his dark kimono standing out against the snow, long red hair with white ends that was secured in nine tails, one securing his bangs, two resting on his shoulders and the others hanging down his back, resting in the snow on his knees, collecting snow and singing softly to himself, a song with lyrics unknown to man.
Little Joshua remained, watching, head tilted and curious of this stranger sitting in their yard, but he remained silent and watched.
But then the man seemed to notice he was no longer alone, and he fell silent and turned his head, glancing his way curiously, eyes the color of ice watching him. They stared at each other for a few moments, both equally curious., and then the man smiled. Little Joshua was a little shy, so he ducked down just a little, but then he was able to crack a small smile back.
The man's smile was nice, he decided, so this man must be nice, too…
Just then, a voice called out, and the man looked away from Joshua, off to the side, and then he sighed and stood up. He turned to face Joshua one last time, smiling warmly once more, before he turned and walked away.
"…bye-bye!" he called out, waving happily, making the man look up in surprise.
However, he finally smiled and raised a hand in a wave as he walked away. Joshua giggled and hurried back inside, huddling back under his covers after closing the window and he smiled, wondering if the man would want to be his friend…
Little Joshua didn't see the man again the next day, or the next evening, or the day and evening after that, and he wondered where the man went… He didn't tell his mother and father about it just yet; he wanted to make a friend alone first before telling them to show he did know how to make friends.
They went shopping today, and little Joshua hoped he will come again, today, because he wanted to see him again.
But…
…but…
Joshua crawled back, afraid and shaking, unable to look away from the… the… monster that stepped on his parents…
It was cold, but the liquid that almost covered him from head to toe was almost boiling hot…
His father's words, telling him to run, echoed through his head, but his legs wouldn't move…
The monster screamed and was about to snap its jaws at him, but something struck it from the side and made it recoil, just as a firm hand grasped his wrist and pulled him up. And then a voice shouted: "Don't just stand there! Run! Do you want to die?!"
And then he was pulled and blindly, without even looking, Joshua did just that, his little legs moving quickly to keep up with the much bigger man's steps. Normally, he'd never be able to run so much, but his mind was ordering him to run and so he did. He ran and ran for as long as he could, which was until the entire situation sank in and he started to cry, which was when he was picked up and the man carried him.
It was a long time later when the man finally stopped running, and when he did, snow was falling…
He crouched down, keeping Joshua close to him and he softly shushed the small boy. "Hush, hush now… it's okay… it's alright now…"
Joshua sniffled and hiccupped, trying to stop his wave of endless tears, but failing miserably. "B-b-but… M-my mother and… father… they… they're still…!"
"Ssshh…" the man murmured softly, running a hand through the boy's hair. "I know it's harsh… but you can't help them anymore…"
"N…no… " Joshua wriggled in the man's grip, trying to get away, but the man just wouldn't let him go. "…please… let me go…!"
"Sshh… it's okay… I'm here… everything will be okay…" he murmured, his grip on the small boy light but firm, not allowing him to go anywhere.
"…lies… you're lying… it… it's never… going to be…"
"…What's your name?"
Joshua blinked, confused at the sudden question, but he sniffled and answered anyway. "…K-K-Kiryuu… Yoshi…ya… but… M-Mother and… Father call me… Joshua…"
"Joshua…" the man repeated, as though tasting the name on his tongue, before he continued in a gentle tone of voice with; "listen to me… your parents told you to run… because they wanted you to stay alive… you still have your whole life ahead of you…"
"B…but…"
"Ssh… Just listen to me…" the man shushed him, placing a finger over his lips. "I know this world seems cold… and uncaring… but we're all struggling in our own way. We all have things in our past we want to forget… but it's those things that shape us into who we are. You're still alive because your parents wanted you to live. Not just for you… but for them, as well. If you die, their legacy will vanish from this world completely and then no one will remember them. Is that what you want?"
"…! N-no! Ne-never…!" Joshua exclaimed immediately.
"Then you have to live. Do you understand?" he asked, taking Joshua's shoulders and looking him in the eye. "Live. Not just for yourself, but also your parents. Stay alive… and live."
Joshua blinked, slowly, confused, before he nodded slowly, and the man smiled down at him.
"Good boy," he murmured, reaching up and wiping the tears away. "Now come on, enough with the tears, now…"
Joshua sniffled, wiping at his eyes again, and this time only a few new ones came after.
"There we go…" the man said softly, a small smile still playing on his face, while he used the sleeve of his kimono to wipe the remainder of the boy's tears away. "You know… I lost my parents, too…" he said suddenly, making Joshua look up curiously, staring into the man's icy blue eyes that seemed… really sad just then. "I think… I was about… no, I was younger than you are…" the man admitted, moving some of Joshua's bangs out of his eyes. "But they told me to run, told me to live, because to them, I was more important than their own life, and they wished I see that this world isn't all darkness and horrible experiences." He paused briefly and moved down to plant a soft, tender kiss upon Joshua's forehead. "See? You aren't the only person alone…"
Joshua considered those words, and allowed the man to hold him close. He thought about it for a few moments, before he asked, slowly: "Were they nice?"
"…My parents? …Yes, yes they were…" the man said, a small smile on his face. "My father would always say I looked like mother… oddly enough. They were, well, different from normal people, I suppose… but I… really did love them…" he murmured, thoughtfully as he ran a hand through Joshua's hair. "…and I still miss them… even though it's been so long…"
"…does it ever go 'way?" Joshua asked slowly.
"…no… it never really goes away. Not really." The man seemed a little sad, but at the same time… "But, in a way, that's a good thing."
"…huh?"
"If it never goes away…" the man explained, wiping one stray tear away from the boy's eye, "you can't forget. As long as you don't forget, it'll be like they're always with you." He smiled softly and finished with: "As long as you keep their memory close in your heart, they'll always be with you."
"…really?"
"Hmhmm." The man smiled warmly, still, but Joshua could see that his eyes were actually very sad. And Joshua blinked when a single tear actually formed in the man's eye, though it didn't roll down. Still, Joshua sat up a little and used a clean corner of his own sleeve to move the tear away. This made him blink, almost curiously, before he chuckled softly and ruffled the boy's hair.
"Well, anyway… let's get you out of here and washed up, ne?"
Joshua nodded as the man stood and he scampered to his own little feet, and grabbed the man by two fingers, because Joshua's hand wasn't big enough to hold the man's whole hand as he toddled after him.
"…ne, Niichan?" he called out softly, tugging. "What's your name?"
The man looked down to him for a moment, a curious glint in his eyes, before he smiled warmly.
"It's Kurasa. But you can call me Kura-niichan if you want."
Joshua's eyes snapped open wide in alarm, the dream – no… that was definitely a memory – fading from his vision but the words spoken remained etched into his mind, once long forgotten over time and now having drifted back after so long…
"…it was him…" Joshua breathed, staring up to the ceiling. "…he… he was the one who… he…"
Once the shock of the revelation had passed, the Composer realized he was laying on a futon, in one of the rooms of Ruka's shrine. One look around confirmed that last part. Slowly, he sat up and looked around, but the Kyuubi in question was nowhere in sight.
'…did I pass out or something…?'
Sighing heavily, Joshua rose to his feet carefully, still a bit disoriented, and glanced around, before he spotted a sliding door. It was simple, but it was impossible to look through, possibly because it was a bedroom door, but whatever the case, Joshua didn't much care and began to slide it open –
"—why did you tell Jin to ask me about the Reapers' Game, Niisama?"
And froze when he heard the familiar voice through the crack of the door. There was no way he could mistake that voice for someone else's…
"Whatever makes you think I told him to do so?"
"He already told me, Niisama…"
'Neku…'
Ruka chuckled, and there was the sound of a liquid being poured – tea, probably – before he replied. "He did, hm? Oh well. I suppose I can't deny it, then."
"Niisama, seriously, why?"
"I have my reasons, Kurasa."
"Neku."
"Right, right, my apologies."
Neku sighed heavily, and Joshua slowly sat down, moving to the crack in the door and peeking out. He wasn't sure why he was spying on the pair of foxes. Maybe it had to do with his recent trip down memory lane, or maybe it was the idea of getting one up on the redheaded fox, but… was it really…?
"Anyway, you've done an admirable job once again, Neku," Ruka spoke after a moment, and Joshua could just see the older Kyuubi sip his tea. "Though… I must ask, why haven't you returned home, yet?"
"Nrgh… Don't you start on me, too, Niisama…" Neku grumbled, and Joshua carefully slid the door a little further open to be able to see the redhead, as well. Neither of the two seemed to notice him, and Neku merely sipped his own cup. "I told Kamui already; the place's not recovered enough yet. Plus, you know Shibuya's without a Conductor. She'd fall apart without one if I left."
"So why didn't you take the position?"
"You know damn well I can't," Neku grumbled. "It's forbidden."
"Rules are meant to be broken, otouto."
"Not all of them, Niisama."
"Hm, if you say so."
They fell silent for a few moments, before Ruka suddenly murmured, almost thoughtfully: "You changed."
"…buh? What do you mean I 'changed'?" Neku asked, sounding and looking more than a little confused.
"…I'm not certain…" Ruka admitted, looking at the smaller Kyuubi, who sat cross-legged across from Ruka, whom was sitting upon his knees like before. "But something about you… it's different from the Kurasa I remember in my memories."
"…Well, cubs grow up, Niisama," Neku pointed out. "It only stands to reason I'd change, eventually."
"…I suppose you're right," the other Kyuubi consented finally. "I just worry about you. We both do. You know that, right?"
"Of course I do! But really, there's no need. I'm not a kit anymore, you know?"
"…heh. I suppose not."
Neku merely snorted as he guzzled down his tea in one go, leaning back on one arm and throwing his head back as he did. Once he had finished the cup, he set it back down on the table and wordlessly allowed Ruka to pour him another cup.
"…Speaking of rules, though," Ruka spoke suddenly, and his expression turned dark and serious. "Did you actually break any rules those old coots gave you?"
Upon hearing those words, the redhead actually tensed briefly, and he remained like that for a moment, before he mumbled: "…why… do you ask me that?"
"Like I said; I worry. I don't want to see you get hurt. Now I know you're more than old enough to take care of yourself, but even so… you didn't… bite anyone… did you?"
"NO!" Neku almost shouted out, slamming his cup back on the table with both hands secured around the cup, startling both Ruka and Joshua (for which Josh was glad, since Ruka's gasp covered his own). "Err… I-I mean… n-no… no, of course I didn't… w-why would I?"
Joshua frowned a little, failing to see the importance of Neku biting someone. Really, was it so bad that it warranted such an expression of anger from the Proxy?
"…you did."
"No! I-I di—"
"Don't lie to me, Kurasa. You did. I thought I could smell it on you already, but I was hoping I was wrong… When did this happen?!"
"…" Neku remained silent for a long moment, keeping his head ducked down, and this could be just Joshua's eyes playing tricks on him, but it looked like he was shaking.
"Kurasa…"
"I… I don't want to talk about it…"
"…don't tell me…"
"Please, Niisama… I really don't want to talk about it…"
"…alright…" Ruka said finally, though he was glancing to Neku with a look Joshua couldn't explain. "I understand… but you know what effects this can and will have on you… do you not?"
"…yes, Niisama…"
Ruka looked like he was about to say more, but just then, the bell that Joshua had heard earlier rang, only this time more frantically than it had before, and both Kitsune snapped their heads up in what appeared to be surprise and/or alarm, before they both jumped to their feet and hurried for the entrance of the shrine.
Joshua, not about to be left behind, decided it was time to get out of the room (he could always blame him walking in on that bell; it was pretty loud), stood up and walked after them. What he saw when he reached the entrance… wasn't what he was expecting.
"Madam… madam, calm yourself, please…" Ruka murmured softly as he tended to the woman who had broken down just before the shrine's steps and was now on her knees and bawling like a child throwing a tantrum, but the despair in her cries was heart-breaking. Neku was staying a small distance away, but he looked like he desperately wanted to close the distance and hug the woman, who was clutching the 'beach ball' that her stomach had become in only a scarce few months' time, but Ruka was already helping, so he decided to stay back for a moment. At least for now…
The silver-haired Kyuubi adjusted his sleeve to cover his hand and began to gently wipe away the woman's tears, softly shushing her in his attempts to calm her. "Madam, please… whatever it is that ails you… surely, it cannot be so bad…"
But the woman continued to bawl, one hand gripping at her swollen stomach in what seemed like a desperate attempt to protect it and the child it carried. Neku frowned sadly at the amount of tears and searched through his pockets for a tissue or a handkerchief to give to her… but he hadn't packed any, because he usually didn't need it.
"Here," a familiar voice said then, and a handkerchief was held out to the woman. "Use this."
While Neku stared at Joshua for being there, the woman blindly accepted the piece of cloth and blew her nose, rather loudly, but no one said anything about it. Ruka allowed a small smile and wiped away the last of the tears.
"There we go… Come. Let us go inside before you catch a cold," he murmured, carefully helping her up to her feet and then began to lead her into the shrine. "Neku, Yoshiya, would you be so kind as to fetch a futon?"
"…Yeah, sure," Neku said with a small nod, and Joshua gave his own nod before following Neku further into the shrine. Once they were alone while picking up the futon in one of the other rooms, though, Neku hissed out: "The hell are you doing here?"
"Hihi. Ask your brother."
"…gah, dammit…" the Proxy grumbled, possibly already realizing that trying to get him to leave wouldn't work, since Ruka had 'invited' him in.
He said nothing else on the matter however as they returned to the main room, where they laid out the futon, allowing Ruka to lay the woman down carefully. She was still sobbing, but she had managed to calm herself somewhat, and, Joshua noticed, she wouldn't remove her hand from her stomach.
"All right… now please… tell me; what is it that has gotten you so upset?" Ruka asked, remaining calm as he sat by her side.
As he asked that, though, the woman looked almost ready to cry again, and she kept the handkerchief to her mouth and nose as she stammered out: "M-m-my baby… I… hic… the-they said… oh god oh god…" She started to cry again, and Ruka once more began to gently calm her, holding her hand and wiping away her tears, while Neku and Joshua sat across from them, watching silently. "The-they said… t-the doctors s-said…" she started, and then she wailed in despair, curling into herself in such a way it was almost as though it was to protect her stomach. And maybe it was. "Th-they said my baby is already dead!"
And Joshua froze.
When he was able to breathe, he looked over the woman. Her stomach was big, really big. She had to be at least a good 7… maybe even 8 months into her pregnancy. Hell, maybe she was already almost there and it was just a matter of weeks, or maybe days…
But if the baby was already dead… then…
Neku wasn't any better and was currently staring in just as much horror as Joshua at the woman, his attention focused almost entirely on her swollen stomach. He clenched his fists tightly, twisting the covers of the pillows almost violently as he tried not to think about the fact that the woman wasn't carrying life inside of her… but death.
Of course, if you try to not think about something, you only start to think about it more.
Ruka, however, remained silent for a long time, his expression unreadable, before he gently, and carefully, unfolded the woman again so that she rested on her back. "Dead, they say?" he murmured, moving one of his hands along her stomach, his elongated nails slowly skittering across the clothed skin. "…When was this?"
"J-just t-today… I… I was… was worried be-because… sniffle… b-because she… ha-hadn't kicked in… in almost a w-week…" the woman choked out amidst her crying and sniffling as Ruka's hand smoothed out the creases of her larger than normal shirt. "And… and they said… whimper… th-they said sh… that she…!"
"Ssssh… it's alright, shush…" Ruka whispered, placing his free hand over her forehead. "Your husband… where is he?"
"I… I don't know… I… I just… I-I ran wi… without… I-I couldn't… n-not again… I…"
"…'again'?" Ruka asked, and this time, even he looked horrified. "This… has this happened before…?"
The woman's only response was a horrified, desperate wail that was answer enough on its own. Joshua winced at the sound and Neku quickly covered his ears, visibly suppressing the urge to start crying as well. Neither of the two had any sort of clue what they could possibly do in this situation.
Ruka seemed equally lost, but only for a moment as he schooled his features into its previous expression. "Madam… is there a way we can contact your husband? I believe it is better for you to be with him and rest…"
"N-no…!" the woman whimpered. "I… I can't… how can I face him?! I-I… I can't even give him a child! Wh-what use is a woman if—"
"That's enough!" Ruka almost shouted, startling all three other occupants of the room. The silverette took a deep breath and let it out in exasperation. "I apologize… but, truly, that is no way for anyone to be thinking… It only results in us becoming depressed when even the slightest thing goes wrong. And I am aware that this is… more than a 'slight thing'… but even then, to believe yourself to be worth nothing…" Ruka stopped talking and shook his head. "I know that, perhaps, I speak out of turn, but I am certain your husband is worried… for both of you."
Joshua blinked briefly, before his ears picked up something. Well… no, not his ears; he picked up a sound… or, more accurately, Music.
A soft melody, unpracticed and rickety at first, but steadily, it began to straighten itself, a soft whistle of a flute with a quiet ringing of a xylophone, soft strumming of a guitar with a gentle hum of a violin, light pounding of a small drum set with the gentle whisper of a harp, all wrapped into one. He searched for the source, and found it coming from Ruka's hand that rested upon the woman's stomach, a soft blue glow swirling like musical notes around the limb and then siphoning into her skin, guiding the melody as it became more and more prominent until Joshua could finally place what the Kyuubi was doing.
Neku slowly brought up his hands, listening as well, before he lowered them to rest on his knees.
"But… but I'm…"
Her words were cut off by the sound of the bell that Joshua had already heard twice before, almost as desperate as it had been the last time.
"Ah… speak of the devil," Ruka murmured.
But before the woman could ask, a flustered-looking man came stumbling into the shrine, tripping over the single step at the entrance with one of his shoes flying off as he crashed into the floor with a pained grunt. He pushed up quickly, though, and when he saw the woman, he choked and cried out: "Keiko!"
Alarmed and shocked, the woman—Keiko—looked up as the man ran/stumbled his way over to her side, almost tripping again as his other shoe was coming undone. "Ko-Koshiro…" she whispered, slightly in fright, before the man suddenly dropped before her and then pulled her into a hug.
"Thank god you're alright!" he breathed out, holding the woman tightly to him, and he almost sounded like he was about to cry, and maybe he really was. "I was so scared I'd lost you both… please… don't do that to me again, Keiko… please please…"
"K… Koshiro…" Keiko choked out, hesitantly reaching out and hugging the man—most likely her husband if his matching ring was anything to go by—back, her body shaking from how she was suppressing her tears. "I… I'm so sorry… I… I just… I didn't… I… I'm so sorry… so, so sorry…!"
"Sssh, it's okay, it's okay…" Koshiro hushed her, running a hand through her hair. "I know you want to give birth, Keiko… I know… but please… even if… if it doesn't work… that doesn't mean I'll abandon you…" he whispered, holding her close. "Please, Keiko… I love you… I don't want to lose you…"
Keiko bit her lip, and she sobbed into her husband's shoulder, no longer seeming aware of the others' presence. She merely clung to Koshiro and cried, apologizing to him over and over again.
"I'm… I'm so sorry… I… I just… oh god I just… I wanted to… to give you…"
"It's okay… it's okay…" Koshiro murmured, rocking her like a child. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he obviously didn't know what to say or how. But maybe there was really no one who did…
"…If I may," Ruka suddenly said, and Koshiro looked up sharply, glaring at the silver-haired man as though he was the guilty party here. However, what he said then made the couple choke in surprise. "All that stress if bad for the baby. You'll only upset her along with your wife."
"Wh… what are you…?" Koshiro began, before his wife gave a startled/pained cry as she clutched her stomach. "Keiko?!"
"…wha… how… I…" Keiko breathed out, both her hands now clutching at her stomach. And then… "Oof! …ah…!"
"Ke-Keiko? Wha… what's wro—"
"…she… she kicked…" Keiko choked out, her eyes shining with tears, but this time they were tears of relief. "She kicked me… she really kicked me!"
"Wha—!? But… but the doctors said…" Koshiro began, before his wife grabbed his hand and placed it upon her stomach. And five seconds later, Koshiro choked as he almost pulled his hand back, but then he, too, looked ready to cry. "She… she did kick… she did…"
Ruka allowed a small smile and turned his head to regard Neku and Joshua, and actually winked briefly behind the couple's back, to which Neku allowed a small smile and Joshua sighed softly with a smirk playing along his lips.
"Good. Now that everyone has calmed down… I do believe it will be a better idea for you to remain here for the time being," Ruka stated as he stood. "I do not know how much longer you have, but it surely would not do if you fell down the stairs outside when it happens, would it?"
"Uh… are you sure…?" Koshiro asked, clearly uncertain about the whole situation.
"Absolutely. I would be a most terrible host if I let you walk away as you are. Here, let me help you."
Unable to refuse, Koshiro allowed Ruka to help him and Keiko up and followed after the silverette as the Kyuubi lead them further into the shrine.
"Neku," he called before he disappeared into the other room. "I will speak to you later, alright? I am afraid this takes priority…"
"It's okay, Niisama," Neku said with a nod. "I'll see you later."
Ruka merely nodded in return, before he walked into the room, leaving Neku and Joshua alone in the room. Said pair just sat there for a few long moments, before Neku exhaled loudly and flopped backwards along a stack of pillows.
"Whew! Thank Grams for Ruka being there…" he mumbled.
"Hm? That's quite a curious way of saying so, dear," Joshua pointed out, earning a grumbled "Don't call me that". "There a reason for that?"
"Shut it… Grams lets me say so," Neku mumbled, as though that answered everything, before he rolled over onto his stomach and then climbed to his feet. "Anyway, I'm heading back… Dunno why you were here, but…"
"Actually, I should be getting back, too," Joshua chuckled out. "Still have a Game to prepare for soon, after all."
"Ah…" That was all Neku really said as he turned and walked out, with Joshua following close behind.
As they stepped out into the sunlight, however, Joshua noticed something that he should've spotted from the beginning. "…Nice suit, dear."
"Sh-shut up!" Neku snarled out, adjusting the black suit's collar quickly. "This is so damn restrictive! Why is it humans have to have clothes that stick like a second skin?!"
"Hihi. Because it shows off how good we look to others, maybe?"
"Too much info…"
Joshua merely smirked as they descended the staircase, which was a bit of a challenge, Joshua realized, as the steps were a little smaller, and there weren't any railings, so while ascending was easy enough, descending was a little harder. Neku, however, stepped down quietly, not the least bit affected by the steep staircase.
"…For your mother?" Joshua asked suddenly, all hints of amusement gone.
Neku paused. "…yeah…" he said finally, as he continued to walk down the steps. "I'm gonna go see dad 'bout what we're gonna do now."
"I see…"
They continued for a few moments down the steps, before Joshua spoke again, changing the subject to something lighter, and something he was sure Neku would be more willing to talk about than what had happened the day prior. "Interesting skill your brother has, by the way."
"Ski… oh! You mean with giving that baby her life back?" Neku asked, a small smile playing on his face. "Yeah… I don't usually get to see it, but yeah, it's awesome."
"Hihi… So, dear, I'm curious…" he spoke, ignoring the "Don't call me 'dear'!" quip from the Kyuubi, "if you were a woman, does that mean he could also impregnate you if you didn't feel like finding a partner for it?"
"What do you mean 'if I were a woman'?" Neku asked immediately, fiddling with her bangs. "Did you forget? Kitsune are shapeshifters. If I so wanted, I could be a woman at any given moment."
Joshua hadn't forgotten, of course. He giggled and said: "Oh I know that. But you'd have to be a woman to give birth, don't you?"
"…Actually, where Niisama's involved, not really… I think he actually impregnated a guy at some point couple of centuries back because he was trying to pass as a woman to his in-laws," Neku murmured, scratching at his chin, and, of course, Joshua stared at him curiously.
"Oh? How does that work, dear?"
"Don't call me that! And anyway, Niisama says it has to do with genes or… whatever," Neku grumbled, running a hand through his hair. "He claims that every living being has certain… genes that allow their bodies to 'shift' to prevent their race's extinction. Certain types of frogs and lizards have been proven to have the ability to 'switch genders' to suit the situation. Niisama works on those genes and forces the body to shift so that it can accommodate."
"Really now?" Joshua hummed. This was certainly news to him. "Hmm… must've been painful for him…"
"Yeah well, giving birth is never easy, even if you're built for it."
"Hihi… so you'll pass on the actual 'giving birth' part, I'm assuming?"
Neku paused in his steps for a moment, seeming to think, before he looked up to the sky. It took him several minutes before he actually answered. "…I'm not sure…"
"…? How so, dear?"
"…well… I've… been considering it a few times…" Neku admitted, not looking away from the heavens.
The fact that Neku wasn't even saying anything about the nickname made it clear just how deep in thought the Kyuubi had to be. Joshua waited to see if the Proxy would say anything else, but when he said nothing else, he decided to speak up again. "So, going to ask your dear brother to help with that?"
"…I'm… not sure yet…" the redhead admitted. "But… if possible… I… want to do it alone… well, as much as I can, anyway," he added with a chuckle. "Takes two to tango, as they say."
"Hihi. Obviously. So… have any potential 'partners' lined up for it?"
Neku tilted his head a little to the right, humming in thought. "…Maybe," he murmured softly.
Now Joshua could've seen wrong (and he probably was), but he almost swore Neku's eyes flashed his way briefly as he spoke the single word. He didn't have the chance to verify or ask about it, since the fox shook his head and said: "Anyway, let's keep going."
Joshua wasn't certain how long they had been walking, but, before long, they descended the last step and were on their way down the path where Joshua had realized he wasn't in Shibuya anymore… and he paused in his steps.
Of course, Neku noticed, and he stopped a small distance away to look back to him with a small hum. "Something wrong, Josh?"
Now, if this wasn't considered a perfect opportunity to confirm what he already knew, Joshua didn't know what was. And so, he merely smirked cheekily and, while moving his bangs out of his eyes, he quipped: "Oh, no, nothing's wrong. I'm just thinking… Kura-niichan."
The reaction from the fox was instantaneous; his eyes widened in alarm and his entire body visibly tensed, his mouth dropping open just slightly as he stared at the Composer, and it took him almost a minute before he was able to respond. "…wha… how did…?"
"Hihi. Why are you so surprised? You said I could, didn't you? Or was that a twin of yours, hm?"
"You were never supposed to remember that! …guck!" As though he realized he had just said something he wasn't supposed to say, the redhead slapped both his hands over his mouth in alarm. He wasn't the only one shocked by his words, though.
"…what?" Joshua asked slowly, his hand falling away from his hair. "What… what do you mean I wasn't… …!" A thought struck him and he actually frowned. "You… wiped my memory?!"
"No!" Neku shouted immediately. "Dammit I can't mess around with memories like that! That's Yoru's job!"
"So you had them wiped?!"
"That wasn't MY decision to make, alright?!"
"Then whose was it?!"
"It was—…You know what? Screw this! I'm not having a conversation you'll end up forgetting again anyway!"
Joshua stared in shock as Neku whirled around with every intent to run off, but, for once, Joshua was faster and was able to grab the Proxy by his wrist before he could. "Wait!"
Neku snarled and turned on Joshua, obviously angry. "Let me go, Joshua!"
"What do you mean I'll 'forget again'? What makes you so certain I'll forget?!"
"I already said I'm not having this conversation," the fox snarled out, his pupils narrowed down to vertical slits. "Now let me go!"
Now if Joshua had been smart, he would've done as the Kyuubi had told him. But given his current situation, he threw caution to the wind and demanded: "Then at least tell me why!"
"I just said—"
"Why me?!" Joshua continued, startling the Kyuubi into silence. "Why just me?! You're a Kyuubi! You should've been able to save them! Why couldn't you save them?! Why didn't you save my parents!?" he demanded, now clutching the Kyuubi's hand with both of his own. "Why me and not them?!" As the question left him, his legs threatened to buckle under his weight, but he did what he could to keep standing. "Why… why didn't you… you…?"
"…"
"Why…?" Joshua choked out, his legs finally giving way even though he refused to let go of the Kitsune's hand. "Why just me…? Why not…"
Neku sighed heavily, shaking his head briefly before he lowered himself on his knees, tugged his hand loose and then pulled the Composer to him in a firm hug, tucking the boy's head under his chin. He didn't say anything; he merely held the silverette close, and the boy only choked on sobs that tried to escape his throat, clinging to Neku's dress shirt tightly.
…do-kun…do-kun…do-kun…do-kun…
The sound of Neku's heart pounding steadily against his ribcage echoed through Joshua's ears, and, just like the last time, the Composer gradually felt his awareness slipping, until he fell under entirely, silent tears rolling down his cheeks.
Warmth… so warm… where is this…?
…nurgh… wha… where…?
…They were good people.
…? Huh…?
He… knows that voice… but… who is it…?
…Your parents. They were good people.
…now he remembers… that voice… it belongs to… to…
…then… why didn't…?
The original history… your father died, telling you to run, but your mother lived… only for you to be killed in her stead…
…!
You were her first… and her only son… She had almost lost you as a baby already… she refused to let you die so young…
…but… how…?
Rewriting history to save someone… is both forbidden, and impossible… If you save one life… you'll kill another instead… For each life you save, another innocent will be killed…
…but… but I lived…
Yes… and I think you know why…
The thought has already formed in his head… but he is afraid of hearing the truth… hearing that…
…mother…
Yes.
…she… knew…?
I told her. I could not rewrite history to save you without killing another… Then… she told me this;
…then… then take mine! If you can't save his life without taking another, take mine instead! Let me die here but please! Please save my baby!
His mother's voice… laced with tears…
…mo… mother…
…Nothing I said would make her say otherwise. She wished for her own death… embraced it, even… if it meant for you to live.
…but… why did you…?
…to save a life that has had decades to live… or to save a life that still has decades to go… what would you choose?
He does not answer… because the answer is obvious…
…but… why did you…?
…it does not matter why… just know I did something I should have never even considered… and that the consequences of my actions… could have been much greater than they became.
But…!
Sleep, Yoshiya… you have much more pressing issues to worry yourself about…
No wait…!
He has so many questions still… questions he wants to have answers to… answers he needs… but…
Oyasumi. ~chu~
Joshua snapped awake once more, and the phrase 'déjà vu' echoed through his mind. But this time he was looking up to the ceiling of his room in WildKat. He wasn't even going to ask how he came to be there; it was obvious, really.
He sighed and placed the back of his hand over his eyes. The Kyuubi's words still echoed through his head, and he couldn't understand why Neku—or Kurasa, whichever—had done what he had so long ago, just to save him. Nor could he grasp why his memories of that time had to be wiped. What was so important about his memories that they had to be wiped?
He didn't know, and he had a distinct feeling he didn't even want to know… and yet he did want to know…
"…Dammit…" he mumbled softly, a single tear rolling out from his eye, before he succumbed to sleep once more, mentally exhausted…
But as he continued to fall deeper and deeper into sleep, a small smile began to play along his face as voices wafted through his head.
"Kura-niichaaaaan!"
"Hm? What's wrong, Joshua?"
"Kura-niichan, it's started snowing! Let's go play in the snow!"
"Ah… not right now, okay? I need to finish some things…"
"But Kura-niichaaan! It's snowing now!"
"I'm sorry, Joshua. I really need to finish this."
"…"
"…Now don't look at me like that. I'm sorry, but I just don't have the time."
"…"
"…oh alright. But just this once."
"Yay!"
"…snow? Already?" Neku murmured as he stopped walking, looking up to the skies and holding out one hand, catching a few of the flakes that drifted down. Of course they hadn't said anything about it on the news. Go figure…
"…nyaaaaaa…"
Upon hearing that, Neku snarled and smacked at a small object he had hanging from his belt, which looked like a really tiny cricket cage. "Shut it in there, Yoru! You've got only yourself to blame!"
"Aww come on-nya!" the same voice whined from the cage, and the shrunken black cat looked up to Neku with its mismatched eyes. "I was just doing what Kamui-sama asked me to-nya!"
"And that's exactly why you're in there right now!" Neku snarled. "I'm not letting you out until Niisama has the time to deal with you."
"Nooooo-nyaaaaaan! Ruka-sama's gonna kiiiiill me-nya!"
"Not my problem."
The cat whined unhappily, but Neku just kept walking, occasionally pausing to admire the falling snow. It was wet snow, so it disappeared soon after hitting the ground, but it was still amazing to see.
"…"
Kura-niichan! Catch!
Hm? What… GAH!
Hahahah!
…you little…!
"…Yoru, you said you wiped Joshua's memories last time," Neku said suddenly.
"Nya? I did-nya!" the cat exclaimed.
"Not good enough, it seems."
"Hey-nya!"
"Whatever. You'll have to answer to that either way when Niisama's done with Kamui."
"Nyaaaaaaaaa…"
It was almost evening by the time that Neku finally arrived at the Sakuraba household, and it wasn't difficult to miss the fancy black Lexus with its tinted windows driving away, and he knew that some of his father's friends had just left. Of course, that didn't much matter to Neku; it was one of the reasons he had decided to come so late. He had a better chance of not running into them that way. Not that they were bad people (most of 'em), but there were a couple of them who just creeped him out.
Wordlessly, he used his own key to open the door, but he rang the bell twice, shortly and quickly, before he pushed the door open and walked in.
"Tadaima," he called out, before he walked to the living room.
As he had expected, Reachi was sitting in the room by the window, holding a glass of dark red liquid, his long coat draped across the back of his seat, leaving him in some black jeans and sleeveless shirt. This allowed people to witness the intricate colored tattoos that ran all along his broad shoulders and back, the letters "VIII" burned into his skin over what appeared to be an upside-down heart made of flames.
"Hey, kiddo," the man murmured as Neku walked over, taking a seat across from him on the chair. "'s Just lemonade, by the way, before you start," he said, holding up his glass.
Neku nodded. His dad had stopped drinking a couple of months after Neku turned 5, when he had almost caused serious injuries to both his son and Meiko, due to him having drunk just a few glasses too many. But, given the situation, Neku could forgive him if he started drinking again. A little…
"Who did I miss?"
"Ah, you just missed Sai. You know, 'Mr. Grumpy'."
"Oh, him…" Neku mumbled softly.
Reachi merely chuckled. He knew that Neku had never been able to get along with Sai much, and the feeling had always been mutual. Sai just wasn't much of a people person, and even less of a child person. Therefore, Sai had always been known to Neku as "Mr. Grumpy" during his earlier years.
He downed his drink in one go, before he turned to his son properly. "Your mom's up in the guest room. If you want to go up…"
"Yeah, I'll see her in a bit…" Neku murmured, taking a few deep breaths. "Not sure I'm ready just yet…"
The older redhead sighed softly, well aware that this had to be very hard on the boy—or young man, honestly, but Reachi would always see him as a boy—as he had always been a little closer to his mom than to him. To hear that she had passed away must've been terrible for him. Of course, that didn't mean the boy didn't care for him, but this blow struck him slightly harder than his death would've.
"…you a'ight, kid?"
"I'm not a child anymore, dad… but… well… I dunno…" Neku admitted slowly. "Just… it's just… so sudden… I mean… I was talking to her just a few hours earlier… and then she…" Neku didn't know where he was going, so he stopped talking then and there.
The two men just remained sitting there for a few long moments, both of them lost in thought, unsure of what their future had in store for them from now on. After a few more minutes, Neku finally sighed and stood up.
"I'm gonna go see her now…" he announced softly, and then proceeded down the hallway and up the stairs toward the guest room. And his father merely watched him go, lightly spinning his glass in hand as though there were still liquid inside.
'…still a bit reserved, huh?' he thought absently to himself, allowing a half-smirk. 'Mei… he's more like you than you thought…'
He still recalled meeting Neku's mother, 23 years ago. They'd known each other for only two years when Meiko had dared to approach him to inform him she was expecting a child; a baby boy, his son. She had never had any doubt about that it was his child, and she held on for the next few months that she was pregnant. Of course, after those few months, there was no use in denying she was, and he, being the ever courteous guy he was, proposed to her. It wasn't really a marriage of love at the time, but more a matter of honor, and they had squabbled more than they had talked, most of them revolving around her alcohol and smoking habits during her pregnancy. And yet, somehow, it was those squabbles that had kept them together throughout he years.
And then came the day… the day Neku was born.
When the doctors said their son was stillborn, Meiko had, quite venomously, flipped a lid. Of course she'd been sad, but anger was how she had always solved all her problems before, and she had taken her son's body and had spanked him several times whilst shouting furiously. The doctors would've stopped her… but then Neku had begun to wail, loudly…
In her surprise, Meiko had almost dropped him, but when she finally had her son safely in her arms, she broke down and she sobbed and cried in relief, hugging her little baby close, thanking whatever deities that watched them for not taking him away.
It was also the first time in Reachi's life that he had seen the proud woman cry…
He had to admit to himself, though, they certainly wouldn't have won any awards for being perfect parents. They were anything but; always arguing, drinking, smoking, and at one point, Reachi suffered a drug addiction that lasted for almost two years. While they were always there for Neku individually, they were unable to be there for him together…
And that was when Neku was shot…
He had been in a coma, hovering between life and death, for three weeks, leaving Meiko and Reachi in a state of both despair and panic. Meiko couldn't bring herself to smoke a single cigarette and ended up crushing them all between her nervous fingers, and Reachi had had several occasions where he crushed beer cans (full of beer, still) or smashed bottles of alcohol in his own fits of blind rage and panic…
So when Neku opened his eyes after those three weeks, their relief knew no bounds.
Reachi sighed softly and looked up to the ceiling, a small smirk playing on his face. He didn't know what had happened to Neku during his coma, but it had definitely changed him… and them as well. And only two weeks later, Neku had brought home four friends to play games and just chill out, whereas before he would've vehemently stated he didn't need friends.
They never did figure out who it was that shot their child… but, somewhere in his mind, Reachi was a little glad it had happened. Just a little…
There was one thing that hadn't changed, however; both Meiko and Neku had difficulty properly expressing emotions like sadness unless they were alone. Which meant…
After setting down his glass, he silently began to walk up the stairs, and, soundlessly, he looked into the guest room. His expression softened as he looked upon his son's back, bent forward as he sobbed quietly over the mahogany chest in which lay the boy's mother, wearing the deep red one piece dress he had first met her in, a rose nestled amidst her hair and a peaceful expression on her face. But that didn't stop the tears from coming…
Reachi sighed softly and walked over, gently pulling his son into a hug from behind, and the younger redhead only held on tight, and for a long time, that was how they stayed…
Bet some of you were wondering what happened to the kitty, eh?
And I'm sure everyone who's seen Jurassic Park knew about the frogs/lizards who can flip genders at will.
Also; I'm no longer giving any hints about who Reachi's based off of. The next time he appears, I'm just going to say it. Cookies to whoever can guess who the base was at this point.