"This is the worst." Lola groaned, tightening the straps on the black mesh bathing suit she'd settled on. If she was honest, she probably could've found a cuter one, but this one worked, and the emotional drainage from the surprise Miles appearance had taken away all of her swimsuit shopping excitement.
"I think it looks really cute on you." Frankie said distractedly. She was busy staring into the mirror with her hands cupping her breasts and trying to push them up and make them look bigger. It wasn't working, but it was a noble effort on Frankie's part. Frankie had decided on a blue string bikini with embroidered flowers. It was cute, but it wasn't anything that Frankie didn't totally already own. Frankie tended to stick with what was comfortable. Which was fine for her, but Lola strived for more. That was the difference between the two girls. One difference of many, as Lola was finding the more she grew up.
Lola crinkled her nose. "I'm not talking about the bathing suit, Franks. I'm talking about..." Her voice lowered, just in case Miles was for some reason right outside of the dressing room and could hear them talking, "Miles." She cringed as she said his name. This whole situation just made her heart ache with heartbreak and anxiety. Every time she saw Miles, she fell deeper for him. And she just had to continue to pretend she was fine because she was never going to be his first choice. Lola was never anyone's first choice.
"Hunter told me that he and his girlfriend were really going at it." Frankie said hopefully. It seemed weird to be happy at the fact that a couple was so unhappy. "You can, you know... shoot your shot while she's gone, or whatever. Get his attention at the party tonight. He shouldn't be able to resist you in this get up."
Lola wanted to. She wanted to seize the moment and take the chance and win Miles over. But she knew it'd be hopeless. She'd put so much of her attention and affection toward Miles when he was with Tristan, and it blew up in her face. Once he left, she'd spent many a night drafting texts about how much she missed him, how thankful she was for him... Everything. She'd only sent two texts throughout the year that he was away, but he'd never even replied. So obviously, he wasn't thinking of her the same way. And she wasn't going to be that girl again. She couldn't bear to try, try, try, and fail again. It'd crush her. It'd ruin her.
She posed in the mirror, accentuating her curves as much as possible, and faked a grin. "I'm not gonna actively try to get his attention, but if he can't resist... He can't resist." She said, feeling devious and scheme-y. It'd been a while since she pulled a fast one on anyone. And honestly, this wasn't really a 'fast one'. But it was the most she was going to do.
The two girls exited the dressing room they were squeezed into and approached Miles, who had his eyes glued to his phone. Probably texting Vivian.
"What do you think?" Frankie asked, and Miles looked up from his phone. His vacant stare turned into a widened gaze. Toward Lola. His eyes on Lola made her almost self conscious. He was scanning her like no other. It was only a few seconds before he spoke, but it felt like an eternity. His ogling made Lola's heart race.
"Why do you care what I think?" Miles forced out. Lola could tell he was fumbling on his words. His brain was totally on overdrive. And it felt good. Knowing she had that effect on Miles felt fantastic. "I mean," He started, backtracking the tone he'd started with, knowing it could upset the fragile teen girls. "I think... they're good. Frankie, you could cover up a little more. I don't want everyone staring at my little sister."
Maybe Lola was reading too far into this, but... Did Miles not care about people staring at Lola? She knew the relationship between a brother and sister was way different than a boy and a girl who had slept together twice, but... She was reading too far into this. Way too far. But she couldn't help it. She just wanted to know what was going on in the mind of that frustrating, mystifying Hollingsworth boy.
"What about Lola?" Frankie asked. Of course Frankie asked that. She was bored with her own life, and the lack of romance in it, so she had to meddle in Lola's.
Miles looked like a deer in the headlights. "Uh," He looked down at his phone again, then back at Lola. "Looks good. Very... Looks good."
Again, Lola found herself wanting to live in the moment where Miles was starstruck by her forever. The attention was making her thrive. "Thanks." She said simply, not letting her cards show. If he was going to be mysterious, she could be too.
Frankie looked at Lola with hope in her eyes, and Lola caught herself wondering when the hell Frankie started caring about Miles and Lola together. All of a sudden, they were Frankie's OTP or something. Weird as all hell, but Frankie did always like her projects. "You two talk amongst yourselves. I'm gonna go pay for these suits, and we can just walk out wearing them." She said, sauntering off to the checkout counter.
The two teenagers stood in silence for a moment. Miles was leaned up against the wall now, and Lola had her arms crossed in the most awkward stance known to man. She noticed that her body language was closed off, so she corrected it, uncrossing her arms and jutting out her hips. Her arms swung by her side, still awkwardly. "So, how was London?" She asked. "I've always wanted to go to London Fashion Week."
"It's-uh, good. I don't know about Fashion Week, though. Must've missed it this past year." He said, seemingly noticing Lola's body language before his eyes darted back to his phone.
It had never been this hard for Miles and Lola to interact. Never. Even before they got to know each other better the year before, they had a pretty good rapport. As good as it could've been for an older brother and his little sister's best friend. And then they met again in the hallway, and everything just fell together. They had chemistry. The words flew from their minds to their mouths. They laughed, cried, and confided in one another about any and everything. Miles was the only one who knew the full story about Lola's mom leaving. She hadn't even shared those intimate details with Frankie or Shay. They'd talked for hours upon end during their first little stint while Tristan was in the hospital. And even when they reunited after Miles graduated... it wasn't like this. They still clicked. But now, it seemed different.
The spark wasn't gone by any measure. Lola still felt the fire in her belly when she saw him. She still felt the butterflies fighting a violent war from inside of her. But suddenly, it felt like the wire that went from her brain to her mouth was frayed and breaking apart. She didn't even know what to say. Where to start.
"I'm sorry." She started. Those words caught Lola by surprise as much as they caught Miles. She didn't even know why she was apologizing. But she was.
"Why?" Miles responded, slipping his phone into his pocket, finally giving the silver haired girl his full attention.
Lola looked down at her pedicured toes. They were painted Panther Blue with gold glitter. For graduation. Graduation had only taken place a couple hours prior at this point, but the memory was starting to float away as if it was weeks ago. Too much on her brain, probably. "I don't know. I feel like everything between us is messed up now. And it's probably my fault."
Miles straightened his posture. "It's not." He started, looking intently at Lola. "Your fault, I mean. You didn't do anything. I was the one who treated you like crap and then disappeared. I mean, I ditched you the second Tristan woke up from the coma, and then as soon as Tris and I broke up, I came running back. I made you feel like a second choice. And out of all people, I should know that making you feel that way was totally wrong of me. I know your past better than anyone." He paused, eyeing Frankie, who was now just gabbing to the cashier. It was a matter of time before the brunette girl made her way back over. "And I'm sorry." He said. "I really am. For not replying to you. For leaving without a word. It was...messed up. I was messed up. I was messed up over Tristan and I couldn't handle another goodbye. The goodbye from him made my insides feel like they were rotting. I couldn't imagine how it'd feel to say goodbye to another person I loved. So I just didn't."
At that moment, all Lola wanted to do was reach over and cup his face and kiss him. But she knew that wasn't the right thing to do. This apology didn't suddenly mean that Miles wanted to be with her. It just meant he had a way with words.
Lola's phone buzzed. A text from Frankie that said 'scratch your nose if you want me to come back over'.
She sighed before reaching her finger to the tip of her nose and scratching. The truth was, she wanted to talk to Miles for about ten more hours and then end the night in bed with him. But she had to save herself. Save her heart from breaking once again.
"Hey guys!" Frankie said as she approached the situation in nothing but a bikini. "Ready to go?" She asked.
Miles looked completely wrecked. Like the apology had taken all of his energy from him. But he still managed to muster some words. "Might want to put on clothes before we go anywhere?"
He looked over to Lola, and she avoided eye contact. This night was going to be harder than she thought. And suddenly, she wasn't excited at all.