When Lola arrived at the Hollingsworth mansion with Miles and Frankie, it was crunch time. They had an entire pool area to decorate, caterers to order around, and... about a million different things that Lola never knew went into the Hollingsworth's seemingly impromptu high school parties. Usually, all Lola had to do was show up. But now that she was around pre-party, it was a whole different story. They only had about an hour and a half before the partiers started to show up.
"Miles, could you go grab the decorations I overnighted? Mom texted me while we were at the store and let me know they were delivered to the foyer." Frankie spoke, clearly encouraging the teenage boy to leave her and Lola alone to gab.
He nodded, clearly still in a weird trance from revealing his feelings to Lola. "Sure thing." He said, glancing at Lola and then down at the ground.
"We will go to the kitchen and check in on the caterers." Frankie linked her arm with Lola's. "And sample the food." She stated, beginning to walk with the silver haired girl toward the kitchen. "And you are going to tell me every freaking detail of that encounter before I explode!" Every single word that came out of Frankie's mouth had an increased level of volume and speed.
Lola sighed as they approached the kitchen. "I can't really explain it, Franks. All I wanted was to hear from him and know how he was feeling. And then he finally did it, and... I just feel weird." She said. "Like I can't be around him."
Frankie looked perplexed. These things were complicated, but Lola didn't even have it in her to explain. She could barely comprehend her feelings internally. She couldn't imagine trying to make it intelligible to someone else. Especially someone like Frankie, who liked to ask a gajillion questions before letting anything go.
"All I know is that I'm going to try to stay out of his way. He has a girlfriend, and I don't wanna ruin that. Or be his second choice again."
The two girls sat on barstools and the caterers instinctively brought tiny, dainty plates covered in appetizers to them. Ah, to live the life Frankie lived on a daily basis. This probably felt like no biggie to the Hollingsworth girl. You sit down, and people bring you world-class food.
"Do you love him?" Frankie asked out of the blue. The two had talked about the whole Miles sitch time and time again, but that question had never came up. And Lola was always thankful that she'd dodged that bullet. But the bullet had arrived, and shot her right in the chest. Her heart hurt as she thought about it. Her chest ached as she tried to figure out the right words to say. She knew the answer. She knew the answer from that first night they slept together. As much as she tried to deny it in order to keep from fitting into the clingy stereotype that fell onto girls after they lost their virginities... But the truth?
"Yes." Lola said, simply, which prompted Frankie to cup her hands over her face in the most dramatic way possible. "But it doesn't matter. I'm not going to keep trying for someone who doesn't want to pursue something real. That's what happened with Tiny. He wanted me, but he didn't want to put me first. And then as soon as I let him go, he fell head over heels for Shay. If I let Miles go, he gets a chance at real love with Vivian, or whoever he's meant to be with." She paused, popping a crab puff into her mouth. She wasn't hungry at all if she was being honest. Her stomach was twisting and turning. But she didn't want to be disrespectful to the caterer who had placed the plate in front of her, and she didn't want to worry Frankie by not scarfing down the appetizers. "And I'll find my person."
Frankie actually looked incredibly sympathetic. "That's how I felt about Jonah and Grace after a while. I didn't want to let him go, but... it was the right thing to do. He loves her more than he ever loved me. I can just tell from looking at them."
There was a tinge of sadness in the brunette girl's voice. She'd never fully gotten over Jonah Haak. She'd stopped talking about him after he left Degrassi, but she never moved on.
"So if I love him, I let him go." Lola responded, and Frankie nodded, confirming that was the advice she was giving. And it really sounded so simple and easy. Just let him go. Let Miles Hollingsworth go.
But she didn't know how the hell she could do that. He was so important to her, and from what he said in the boutique, she obviously meant something to him. Not as much as Tristan had meant to him, or probably his new girlfriend... But it was so much easier to pretend she was okay with losing Tiny, and that pain was still excruciating. She'd bonded with Miles over the grief she felt losing Tiny. And now Miles had turned into a whole new source of grief. And it hurt.
Was this some sort of cycle? Was this how life worked? First, her mother had left her in pieces. She just split and never looked back. That killed Lola. And then finally, she felt herself finding some sense of healing and fell for Tiny. Tiny made her feel so important. Like she had a purpose. And then Tiny abandoned her for her own best friend. Finally, she'd found someone who understood the pain she couldn't vocalize, and then... He left too. He left her when Tristan woke up, and then again when he left for London. Everyone was always leaving her. And every time she felt like she was recovering from one loss, another one punched her in the gut.
Lola held a fancy hors d'oeuvre in her hand. It was some sort of stuffed shrimp. She wondered why the Hollingsworths were going all out for this party. Lola guessed it was because both Frankie and Hunter were going to be heading off into the world and leaving the nest, and they wanted to throw one last big event before they were on their own. If Lola really thought about it, the largeness of this party wasn't so outlandish. She thought back to Hunter and Frankie's fifteenth birthday party, where everyone was decked out in twenties gear and there was even a pony. That was a ridiculous get together.
"I guess I'll start tonight. Find a hottie. Someone has ought to bring a hot cousin or brother along." She said, revisiting her original plan before everything got so complicated. Plan find Lola Pacini a hot pair of lips is a go." She said.