Day 2,114 (+125 Years)
"Well, Bellamy. It's been 2,114 days, and 125 years. Don't ask me to do that math, I'm not Raven, and I won't pretend to be. Let's just agree that it's been a long time â too long.
"At the risk of sounding redundant, we made it. At least most of us.
"I barely got to talk to Monty and Harper. I didn't get to hear about space, I didn't get to show Monty the patchy little farm that was finally coming together in my back yard.
"Oh, God, we are going to find their bodies, aren't we? I don'tâĤ. I don't know if I can handle that. But we need to find them before Jordan does."
Clarke let her head fall in her hands, palms rubbing at her eyes, uselessly trying to stop the tears. She was sitting in a corridor on the ship. She and Bellamy had yet to wake anyone else up, and Jordan seemed to respect that they needed time to process the onslaught of information they were given.
Two more of her friends, gone.
"I know. I've been thinking about it, too. I don't want him to stumble upon his parents."
Clarke's head snapped up to find Bellamy standing in the archway, hands awkwardly stuffed into his pockets. He didn't question who she was talking to, so he must have thought her words were directed at him â he was technically right.
After a moment of uncomfortable hesitation, Bellamy crossed to Clarke, and sat down beside her. She didn't even think before she shifted her body towards his, so her back was against his side. He wrapped his arm around her, much like he did on the bridge as they looked at their new planet, their new home, for the first time. She instinctively leaned further into his side. They stayed like that for what felt like hours, when in reality it was only minutes.
"Tell me something about them. From the time on the ring." Clarke finally says, breaking the silence.
Bellamy breathes in deeply, a shuddering, broken breath, that shattered Clarke's heart. And, for a moment, she wanted to take the question back. She didn't want him to have to relive memories that would end up painful. They were his family in a way she would never understand. But before she could say anything, he answered.
"Well, you know how he felt about his algae" Clarke smiled, releasing a breath she hadn't known she was holding. She nodded, which she assumed he felt against his chest, because he took it as a sign to continue.
"Well, on the Ark he would call it Triple G: Green's Green Goop. We all hated it, and he knew we hated it, but he never stopped trying to make it better. He would spend hours locked up in his algae farm. It would drive Harper mad, but she understood. He couldn't do anything else to help, so he did what he could: he made algae. And eventually, it started making him happy. Not the fake, placating happiness the rest of us did most of the time, but really, truly happy. And that was when the rest of us started trying to be happy too. Raven stopped spending every waking moment trying to figure out a way home, instead learning how to fight. Murphy found an old collection of movies. Emori learned everything she could from Raven."
Bellamy faltered, caught up in his own memory. Clarke didn't push him, allowing him the time to come back to her on his own. And after a few moments, he did. He always came back.
"On our first Unity Day on the Ark, we all gave Monty this dumb apron. It said, 'Make algae, not war,' it was mostly a joke, something we thought would make him laugh. He deserved to laugh more. Anyways, we gave it to him, and he just loved it. He loved it so much, that, that night, when he brought out the algae for dinner he also brought out a side of moonshine he had been brewing, secretly.
"The algae was gross, as usual, and I guess the alcohol didn't really help us fake it that night. I don't really know how it happened, who started it. If you ask Raven, she'll say it was Murphy, but Murphy swears up and down it was Emori, but the night dissolved into this huge food fight with algae. It was some of the most fun we all had, during that first year. And that first year was so hard, Clarke."
He stopped for a moment, and Clarke twisted in her spot, so she could look at his face. His brows were furrowed, as if fighting with himself. Clarke could tell he was debating whether or not to say something. Without thinking, Clarke's hand found his cheek, and she turned his face towards hers, so their eyes met. She smiled at him, finding his hand that wasn't around her in their mess of limbs. His brow softened, and he smiled back, lightly.
"I wish you had been there, Clarke. And I know that's selfish, because Madi needed you, but, God, we needed you, too." His eyes left hers, instead finding a random spot on the floor to focus on.
Clarke felt the tears in her eyes as she shook her head at what he was saying. "That's not selfish, Bellamy. Sometimes I wished I was there, too. But I don't regret it; not even a little bit. I wouldn't have traded Madi for anything. And we both know that, if you had waited for me, you wouldn't have made it. Hey, Bellamy. Look at me." His eyes lifted from the floor, but were still not meeting her own. She ducked her head, so she was directly in his line of vision. When their eyes finally met, she continued to speak. "Look at me, Bellamy Blake. I am so incredibly proud of you for leaving me. You did exactly what you had to. You kept them all alive. You kept each other alive. And I'm fine, aren't I? And you're fine? And we're still breathing."
Bellamy nodded, slowly at first, but it gradually became more assured.
"How are you doing, Clarke? You had to leave your home behind."
This time Clarke broke eye contact, as she twisted back around and rested her back against his chest, not releasing his hand.
"They're just things Bellamy. I would have liked to keep Jasper's goggles, my father's watch, my rifle, but things are replaceable. It's the people I'll miss."
Clarke could almost feel the confusion rolling off of him as she elaborated. "Finn is buried on earth. Lincoln, Lexa, Gina, Jasper. Madi's parents. I'm just worried that, by leaving earth, we're leaving them."
"We could never leave them, Clarke. By leaving earth we are honoring them. We are surviving for them. They died so that we could have a future, and that's exactly what we're doing."
Clarke couldn't keep the fear and panic from her voice as she asked, "How do we do this, Bellamy? How do we start over on a brand-new planet, for the second time?"
Bellamy remained silent for a moment, thinking. "We use everything we have. We use Raven's intelligence, Murphy's cunning, Emori's ability to adapt, Echo's stratagem, Madi's connection with the commanders, your unending loyalty â"
"Your leadership and selflessness," Clarke added, cutting him off. He shifted uneasily.
"We use everything at our disposal to work together, to survive. To live. But together. No taking off, no sacrificing ourselves, no leaving each other behind. We can face whatever messed up shit this planet will throw at us if we do it as a team. I'm tired of doubting each other, and losing each other, and fighting each other. This is a new planet, and a new slate. And we face it together, okay?"
Clarke smiled shakily, squinting her eyes to slow the tears. She squeezed his hand, not letting go of it as she stood.
"Together."
And with that, Clarke pulled Bellamy to his feet, where he stood for a moment, staring at Clarke, their hands still entwined. And, together, side by side, they started walking towards their friends, their family, and their new home.
"You know, I think we need a new word."