A/N: This chapter is finally out! Phew~! ಥ_ಥ I had to include many things, therefore, the length of this chapter turned out to be rather long. I hope it will make up for the delay. ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ
Warnings: Nothing serious. Unbeta-ed.
Chapter 10: Keeping Memories
(Rido)
The recollections of his earlier days were the richest; the most memorable he had of himself.
He was the definition of wicked: mischievous, rebellious, obnoxious; and refused to listen to anyone else – who was not himself. Why? Because he was superior in comparison to the rest of the purebloods. He was above the law and his subjects. His words meant everything to everyone.
After all, he was a pureblood born of noble blood, the first heir of the Kuran line, a royalty that should not be messed with.
So why should he be kind; respectful to others when, compared to him, they were nothing but a pile of dust under his feet?
Humans were trash – vermins that wasted the natural resources that rightfully belonged to them; a food stock for their disposal – the sole reason they were allowed to exist in the first place.
The mere idea of coexisting with them was repulsive; the mere fact that he had to treat them as equals was revolting.
And he had to hold himself, many times, from lashing out at the humans, on his father – the very reason that this absurd treaty had come into existence.
His father had certainly lost his mind – not a single explanation could be given for the man's outrageous reasonings. After all, what kind of vampire (specifically a pureblood) would even consider treating their livestock as equal?
Not a sane vampire, that was for sure.
Although, one fateful day, his way of thinking, his life, and his heart took a three-hundred-sixty-degree turn upon the birth of the second child of the Hio family – in ways that he had deemed to be incomprehensible to him then.
He had been changed, to a better person; to a more reasonable man – all because of him.
Folding his arms over his chest, heaving a prolonged sigh, Rido leaned back against the cushioned seat, eyes absentmindedly drifting through the glass doors to the green expanse laid before him.
He could recall that significant night, all too well, all too clearly – without subjecting them to colossal flaws. The memories of that particular evening had been embedded upon his very soul, and he held them close to his heart – the preciousness of them; the pureness of them being far too dear to him for his own good.
Ah, what a life-changing moment that had been. His young, atrocious-self was soon to find out – with vigorous bewilderment.
It was raining; thundering when Mr. Hio had called them, his voice barely masking his excitement, to inform them that a son, a Hio male, had been finally born to their family. A joyous announcement it had been, at least to them, that was.
He was the age of eight then, while his brother, Haruka, an age of three – still in his diapers; still learning to walk properly without the assistance of his knees.
Whatever the fuss was about, Rido had no clue whatsoever. A mere child, of the most insignificant pureblood lineages, had been born to a family that they, solely for political and stature purposes, kept them close. And he was rather confident that the members of the Hio family also understood that fact all too well.
Then, out of sheer curiosity, why was Mr. Hio making an enormous deal about that plaintive disclosure of his? Especially when the man knew that they would not care?
But to his extreme surprise (and chagrin), his old man, for whatever reason, one which he could not even begin to fathom, had seemed excited; delighted; and without a word of warning, the pureblood had grabbed his hand, picked Haruka up – the entire time smiling ear to ear – before leading them to the waiting limousine, which inevitably led them to the dreaded Hio mansion.
When Mr. Hio opened the main door, he greeted the new arrivals with an inquiring brow and a curl of his lips, eyes shining with amusement as he eyed them, all too non-discreetly, and their intriguing selection of garments.
Embarrassingly enough, none of them (his father's impatience was to be blamed here) had thought to change from their pajamas to more appropriate; suitable clothing for this occasion.
Bunch of fools, what they must appear like, and it was all due to his old man's impudent personality. Damnit.
"This way, dear gentlemen." The pureblood murmured, his voice silky; his words cladded with mirth, and with a bemused grin gracing his lips, Mr. Hio guided them to the master bedroom; one that smelled of fresh lilacs, and one from which a faint cry could be heard.
Pursuing his lips together, Rido stepped a foot inside, heart thundering within his rib cage – for a reason unbestowed to him, and his footsteps were followed by his father, who was still carrying a half-asleep Haruka in his arms, the exuberant smile never forsaking his lips.
Mismatched orbs roamed around the room, almost curiously, before settling themselves on the entrancing figure, who was seated on the large, comfortable queen-sized bed, her back against the headboard, her legs tucked underneath her.
It was a woman – a pureblood to be more specific – who looked to be in her late twenties; blessed with ethereal beauty, long, silver hair tied in a messy bun, fringe barely covering her eyes, which happened to be a delicate shade of violet. Her plump lips were curved into a beautiful smile; rosy stains were dusting her flawless complexion, and she cradled the blue, small bundle close to her chest, eyes brimming with happiness with a hint of exhaustion.
The person he had been blatantly eyeing for the past few minutes was non-other than Lena Hio, the second child of the Hio family; the wife of the head of this family, Ryouma Hio. He had the chance of becoming acquainted with the woman and her husband in one of the balls his father had thrown for his birthday (against his outright protests), but not until now, did Rido acknowledge the ethereal beauty that each member of the Hio family possessed.
"Welcome," Mrs. Hio whispered, voice loving; tender as she raised her head, amethyst orbs regarding them with fondness.
"Congratulations, Lena." His father responded; voice cramped with the same tenderness as Mrs. Hio, before turning to the pureblood standing beside him. "To you too, Ryouma. You are one lucky man."
"Thank you, Seishiro-san." In unison, the Hio couple expressed their gratitude, smiles plastered on their pale futures, before Mr. Hio and his father started a conversation of their own, leaving the other occupants in silence and to their own musings.
Rido stared at his father for a good minute, then averted his eyes to the wall, a completive frown ghosting over his features. Was the man feigning to play the role of a good-hearted; considerate pureblood, or did he genuinely consider them as his 'friends'? As far as he understood his old man, the man never did anything that did not profit him, in some way or the other – even if that included befriending other purebloods out of his own will.
There had to be an ulterior motive behind this charade of his well-founded friendship with the Hios. There always was – he refused to believe it otherwise.
With a shake of his head, Rido pushed the baseless suspicions of his father's interests to the back of his mind, and with some urgency, he looked around again, intending to distract himself from his musings; while in the meantime, searching for a certain person that he had not seen (or noticed) in his way to this room.
A couple of moments of his thorough inspection elapsed, and a sullen frown marred his features when his eyes failed the task to locate the Hio princess. She was nowhere to be seen – nor was he able to sense her presence anywhere nearby to the Hio residence.
Where was Shizuka Hio? Why was she not present on such a momentous occasion? What more could be important to her than the birth of her very own brother?
The answers to them he did not know. The infamous pureblood princess could easily be compared to the Pandora Box – she, after all, was the epitome of unresolved mysteries. It would be something close to a miracle if he ever began understanding the complexity of such a creature. Although, this did not mean that he desired to understand her (or even get to know the lady).
In his opinion, she seemed to be an intriguing person; different from all the purebloods he had to cross his paths with; and rather frank and brusque to the people she deemed not worthy of her time. In many ways, she was like him, and that piqued his interest – only slightly though.
"Do you want to hold him, Rido-kun?" An inquiry, voice sweet; honey-like, snapped him out of his thoughts, and his gaze shifted towards Mrs. Hio, his brow arched questioningly, not comprehending her words fully.
"Excuse me?"
"Do you want to hold my son?" She chuckled softly, eyes cast down, pointing to the restless bundle in her embrace.
A prolonged pause settled, while in the meantime, Rido attempted to wrap his head around her words, mismatched orbs contemplative and anxious. The mere concept of holding a newborn baby, in his arms, was somewhat overwhelming and incredibly terrifying. It would be a lie to say that he had experience in that area. After all, he had not held Haruka until he was two – until he was certain that his brother was not immensely fragile under his touch.
Why? His reasonings were rather laughable; quite ridiculous, but they were embedded deep within him nonetheless. He was terrified that when he held his brother, he might drop him, causing his death; or he might embrace him too hard, crushing him to death, or he might play with him so much, exhausting him to death – and the list went on and on.
His fears were endless, but not irrational. One of those things could have possibly happened, and if they actually had, he would have never been able to forgive himself for the rest of his immortal life.
"Come on, Rido-kun."
The sweet-sounding encouragement startled him out from his musings, and with a resigned sigh, Rido approached the bed with reluctant steps, hands balled into fists, lips compressed together.
It would be rude of him to reject her offer without reason. He was supposed to be a young gentleman, after all – to the outside world, that was.
Her amethyst orbs regarded him, amused, and with a nod of her head, she motioned him to come closer – which he did, and surprisingly enough, without no complaints whatsoever.
The small bundle, full of joy, was carefully handed over to him – and with shaky hands, Rido cradled the baby in his arms protectively; delicately, lest he might break if he applied too much pressure.
Small eyelids cracked open, revealing amethyst orbs, similar to Mrs. Hio, but to his bewilderment, they seemed even more breathtaking; more exquisite to him.
For a single moment, a mesmeric one that he would come to remember for a long time, their eyes met, and Rido inhaled a shaky breath, steadying himself; shuddering with enigmatic sensations.
What was this...? This feeling...This connection...This bond... Why, of all people, with this pureblood, whom he had yet to know; to love?
"Hey there..." He murmured under his breath; voice gentle and fond, lips curling into a smile, as he poked the chubby, soft cheek with his forefinger, mismatched orbs softening instantly.
A small giggle, one overflowing with innocence and jubilance, erupted from the creature, and a tiny hand reached forward, grasping his finger tightly.
"Boo...yahh.."
Eyes widening, heart lurching painfully into a beating frenzy, Rido gasped, startled, as an onslaught of sentiments overwhelmed with no compassion. This was it – the warmth he had been searching for since the day he had opened his eyes for the first time.
It was not within his mother, or his father, or his brother, but within this newborn, whom he had the chance to meet a few seconds prior.
If this was not destiny, then what was?
In those couple of moments, he understood the fact that this baby, the sole son of the Hio, was (and would be) special to him. He would be his guide. His light. His soulmate. A person he would protect; love – until death did them apart.
He would belong to him, and him alone. He would make certain of it.
Nodding to himself, slightly exasperated with himself, Rido raised his head and regarded the bemused woman with a solemn look, his brows furrowed together in concentration, "Mrs. Hio, I have a request to ask of you."
The smile on the woman's lips became more pronounced, and she shot him nod, amethyst orbs strangely curious, "Ask away, Rido-kun."
Determination brimmed in his mismatched orbs, and Rido cradled the bundle closer to his chest, almost too possessively, as a grin marked his soft features.
"I will like to have your son's hand in marriage."
"Rido-sama, it is time for your tea. Would you like to move to the veranda?"
The sudden voice startled him (even if he did not show it) and rudely brought him to the present. His gaze immediately pinned itself on the maid (standing a few feet away from him, holding a silver tray that consisted of a plate biscuits and a cup of tea, her head bowed and not meeting his profound stare), and heaved an exasperated sigh, nodding his head; giver her a brusque order, "Thank you. Leave it on the table. I will have my tea in this room for today."
It was not her fault that she was interrupted him when he did not want to be. He should have made his intentions clear to his staff.
With extreme urgency, the maid (face pale and hands shaking) did what she was ordered to, and without a second to lose, scurried away from the room – and away from him. Fortunately for her, that was, he did not blame her. She had the right to be terrified. After all, his aura was rather ominous and suffocating at the current moment.
After her departure, a well-defined brow twitched in annoyance, and Rido settled back in his seat, exhaling exasperatedly; staring at the ceiling, his expression vacant.
He had no clue, whatsoever, whether he should feel irked or grateful by the abruptly rude interruption of his thoughts.
To his chagrin, he was leaning more towards the latter option. After all, the events that followed after his claim where mortifyingly embarrassing.
Fluttering his eyes yet again, Rido threw a distracted hand through his wavy locks, groaning deeply under his breath as the memory reasserted itself, the tips of his ears reddening immensely.
Seriously speaking, he was a viciously, corny kid, indeed.
An extremely long moment passed in the awkward silence, before Mrs. Hio burst out laughing, violet orbs sparkling; cheeks flushed as she was suddenly gasping to catch her breath, while the rest of the occupants, his father and Mr. Hio, gave him an incredulous; disbelieved looks for an entire second, before erupting into amused chuckles themselves.
"Are you serious, Rido-kun?" Mrs. Hio managed to ask; her voice hoarse from laughter, hints of amusement distinct in her words.
The profound stares aimed at his direction made his stomach feel queasy, and Rido found himself nodding swiftly; looking down at his shoes, flustered, a dark blush warming his cheeks.
"Yes, Ma'am."
The pureblood chuckled softly, a melodious sound that resonated within the room, and her eyes held a glint of humor as they observed him steadily.
"You have my approval, my future son-in-law."
And to add more fuel to his blossoming embarrassment, his old man decided to add his own words to the conversation, amber orbs sparkling with mischievousness; offering a toothy smile to the pureblood standing beside him.
"He is really my son, is he not?"
"No doubt about that." Mr. Hio nodded his head in agreement, a faint smirk creeping across his features.
His face flushing hotly yet again, Rido murmured a plausible excuse to escape from this humiliation – before quickly handing the baby over (thrusting would be more of an accurate word) to the woman's outstretched arms, and swiftly darting out of the room without a single glance back.
He was ashamed of himself, utterly and absolutely, no words could express these demeaning feelings of embarrassment that rose in his chest. Did he say too much? Was he too much? Should he have kept his mouth shut? Who even thought about the marriage at the age of five?
But regardless of the sheer mortification, he was subjected to (all thanks to himself), that feeling of connection – that link he felt between him and the newborn pureblood was unmistakable. Undeniable. The proposal that had left his mouth a second later was nothing more than a consequence of his inner turmoil.
Although, the reactions that had followed his colorful, choice of words still urged him to dig a hole, jump, and die a useless death.
It had been (still was) downright humiliating.
His mind lost in thought, his mismatched orbs fixed on the floor, Rido wandered around the hall mindlessly, paying no heed to his surroundings; berating himself relentlessly. Therefore, it should be given that he did not notice the approaching figure, until his body collided with the said person, causing him to fall on his ass; startled.
Wide, shocked eyes met with a pair of bemused ones, and the woman leered down at him, arching her eyebrows with a lascivious grin that stretched her features with great exaggeration.
"Long time no see, brat."
He shot her a glare, his eyes narrowing sharply.
"Shizuka."
Standing haughtily before him was a woman of many words, dressed in a blossom-colored kimono with flower patterns adorning the edges of the silky fabric; long, silver hair falling down to her waist, short bangs shyly obscuring her crimson orbs that stared at him tauntingly, was non-other than Hio Shizuka – the 'Bloody Princess', as she was known for her sharp-witted tongue; her instability, in addition to her awfully rude behavior towards the members of the higher hierarchy.
She was individual that he detested from the bottom of his heart. As 'innocent-looking' as she was, the pureblood always managed to give him a sense of alarm with her presence, as well as every time she was near – and he immensely disliked that sole fact.
No one should have the ability to terrify him, and that included the infuriating, yet gorgeous, pureblood in front of him.
The indignation of this entire ordeal.
"I hate to admit this, but I seemed to have rather missed your irritatingly, chubby face, brat." A trademark smirk graced her flawless features, and Shizuka regarded him, crimson orbs mocking; pale arms crossed over her chest.
Feeling rather flustered by being called 'overweight' (especially by this woman), a hot retort hovered at the tip of his tongue, but it was swiftly squashed down by another voice – one which was somber, one which he instantly recognized belonging to his father.
"Father," He quickly got back on his feet, agitated, and bowed his head (only slightly) to show his respect.
"We have to leave. We are imposing on the Hio family more than necessary. Please wait for me in the car. Your brother is already there – sound asleep. I have some business with Shizuka-san, then I will be there with you two in a couple of minutes. Understood?"
As his father spoke (words brusque and fairly dubious), the pureblood's gaze stayed on the woman the entire time, not granting him so much of a glance; giving him a sense of realization of not existing between the two purebloods.
His eyebrowed twitched, exasperated, and Rido swallowed a sigh, feeling somewhat excluded. To his knowledge, his father was only acquainted with the Hio couple –and never with the pureblood princess. There was seriously no gain of having an acquaintanceship with the woman – she was apparently not normal, and would have an adverse impact on his father if other members of the vampire society found about their 'little friendship'.
So, consequences laid aside, why and from when did this friendship start developing between them? Why was he not aware of this? After all, he took a particular interest in the relationships his father developed with other purebloods for future preferences (he wanted to become a great king like his father, after all).
The sole reason his mind could conjure up at the current moment was that the man was particularly secretive about this partnership with the woman – but the question here was: why would he do that? No benefits came with befriending a disrespected pureblood!
So, why? Was there anyone who could answer him?
Time ticked with leisure, and an overwhelming fog of perplexity took hold over him. Rido, dumbfounded beyond words, stared at his father, blinking rapidly to make his mind work again.
"Father, I..."
When he finally found his voice, Rido attempted to ask his queries, but unfortunately for him, his words faltered in mid-sentence when one look from his father had him scrambling away from the man without a word of complaint.
Kuran Seishiro was not a man that should be messed with.
With his feet leading him further away from the purebloods, his gut churning with deplorable fear, curiosity managed to get the best of him, and Rido threw one last glance back, his mouth open, his eyes wide – the scene actually rendering him speechless, and as well as, thoughtless.
Arms wrapped around one another, her face buried in his chest, while he held her close to his frame, nuzzling the top of her head was non-other than ... his father with Shizuka Hio.
They were embracing each other – in a fashion that his father used to do with his mother.
Why would his father hold another woman, who was not his mother? Was this even allowed? Would his mother become angry if she found out about this? Or would she consider this nothing to worry about?
But the more he stared, the more disconcerting the situation became. The embrace, from his perspective, seemed almost too disturbingly intimate – and he hated it, with all of his heart.
When the fuck had they become so close? What the fuck was happening here?
Whatever it was, it was seriously making him furious.
Mismatched orbs hardening, Rido gritted his teeth and turned away from the sight; hurriedly making his way out of the manor.
No one gave his father the right to replace his mother with any other woman – or the privilege to hold another woman in the same manner that he embraced his mother.
Fucking no one.
His hands balling into fists, he punched the nearest tree (when he was safely out of his father's range of hearing) and continued to channel out his wrath in another series of punches – until his knuckles were bleeding, until his inner turmoil was satisfied.
He knew, from the very beginning, that woman was never good news. If she so dared to make his mother cry, he would make the pureblood suffer till her last breath – he promised himself.
That ratchet princess...!
Nothing of that sort happened.
The outrageous sight had him reeling for days (he never dared to inform his mother about his 'foundings'), but as time passed, he had forgotten about it – until this moment.
Even if this happened ages ago, the memory still managed to leave a bad taste in his mouth, and Rido shook his head, attempting to divert his thoughts on something less detestable.
There was no need to contemplate over something that was beyond his realm of thinking. In addition to the fact, that both of his parents and Shizuka were deceased.
However, time to time, the reason behind his mother's death still bothered him (not irrationally) because he had a feeling that there was something more than met the eye; but as much as he looked into it, the perplexity of the case only increased, leaving him confused to no end.
The fact that his mother had started to act strange (shortly after the incident) before disappearing into thin air – without a goodbye letter whatsoever – confirmed his unwarranted suspicions.
They had searched for her every single day, adamantly and relentlessly, but to their greatest misfortune, when they had finally found her, it was far too late.
The deed had already been done.
In one of their manors, on the second floor, the third bedroom to the right, her remains had been found. She had been nothing more than a pile of dust – her clothes and jewelry resting on the floor, serving them as a gruesome reminder.
That day had been the first time (and the last one) he had seen his father sob – without his usual restraint to his emotions; his impassive mask crumbling into pieces.
He, himself, was not in a better condition, but the sight was so rare, that the memory of it (without question) was embedded into the core of his mind.
Heaving a sigh, his eyes ran across the expanse of the breathtaking garden (solely owned by his wife); his expression forlorn, his lips compressed together.
The events that had transpired after that horrible discovery were sketchy, the recollections dim and obscure. For a fact, he could vaguely recall sobbing his heart out, comforting his distressed brother, and then, attending the funeral reception, where many people mourned his mother's untimely death.
But that was it. He was unable to remember a single thing more – nor that he desired to do so. That particular period of his life was dreadfully horrible, and not worth reminiscing.
His state of shock had him rendered him speechless and contributed further to his loneliness, but to his fortune, Zero was there for him – to comfort him; to act as his pillar. And he was thankful – extremely grateful for the pureblood's presence and his generous kindness.
If Zero had not been with him, oh god, he would have definitely not turned out to be the person (and the king) that he was this current moment.
He was a grown-up man now, more calm and composed; a capable king that people adored and respected, having the uncanny ability to resolve situations that were unresolvable – all thanks to his wife, Zero.
But, even then, there was this one dilemma, which came as a shock, and one, that he was barely able to deal with.
It was a detail that he refused to accept for countless of years – a reality that he continuously denied in a desperate hope that his wife would return his unrequited feelings.
However, by considering the apparent signs (ones he had been foolishly overlooking all this time), that was never going to happen – his luck was never that good, to begin with.
Exhaling deeply, exasperated, Rido wrenched his head to the side and shot the empty chair a weary look, his features contorting with perplexity.
It was the seat, where, mere minutes prior, Kaname had sat upon, nostrils flaring; eyeing him with indignation. He had arched an eyebrow, clearly taken aback by the pureblood's rage, however, he said nothing of it.
He could not say a word for his defense – because, this time, he was the one on the wrong side.
With an inward sigh, he had ducked his head, resting his gaze on his shoes, the guilt within him deepening to a greater extent.
Adoration and respect were always the key emotions plastered on that face for him, but now, these past few days, opposing sentiments had taken their replacement – and Rido actually felt hurt. Why? Because his only other family; the person he loved even more than his own brother, was starting to see him in a light that was not positive; a side of him that he clearly wished to be hidden from his loved ones.
Losing Haruka to his own selfishness was an enormous blow to his heart, losing Zero to his own anger and jealousy murdered his soul, but if he lost Kaname now, he would not be able to live with himself.
He would be done – with everything; with his life.
Focus on the main task, Rido! He had reprimanded himself, almost too harshly, but to his fortune, it had done the deed, efficiently snapping him out of his self-pity.
After all, he had all the time in the world to dwell on his misery; his regret.
With a shake of his head, Rido had raised his eyes from his shoes, meeting the enraged wine-red orbs of the pureblood; and with a heavy heart and some hesitancy, he had gone straight to the point, divulging the mind-thundering information to the younger man.
Mainly the fact that the person Zero wanted was not him, or Haruka, but Kaname himself.
He had deliberately not said the word 'loved' because it had not been his place to do so – only Zero had the right to inform Kaname of his feelings, and not him.
In a mere second, the time had stopped for them, and Kaname had stared at him, his face falling faster than a corpse on the cement floor; mouth hung open and eyes extremely wide.
The dumbfounded look in those burgundy eyes had him bewildered beyond description. Because, for some reason, he had a suspicion that Kaname had already been well-aware with this specific knowledge – or at least, a part of it. This was the main reason he had revealed the intent of his wife to the man – to gouge out a guilty reaction from the pureblood; to know if Zero had been going behind his back with Kaname also.
But by the mere looks of it, the pureblood had shown no signs of knowing about the feelings his spouse held for him – swiftly eradicating his assumptions of them having an extramarital affair.
Well, great. He had, once again, opened his mouth when he should have kept it shut. Fuck it.
After a long moment of silence, Kaname (appearing to have recovered from his shock) had abruptly stood up from his chair, throwing him a heated glare and a curt, "I have to leave, Nii-sama", before making his way out of the door, not sparing him a glance back.
The 'talk' had only seemed to have made things worse. Damn.
With a deep frown, he had seen his cousin leave, eyes observing the stiffness of the pureblood's posture, and with another sigh, Rido pressed his face into the palms of his hands, inwardly groaning.
He did not blame him. How could he? Kaname had every right to give him the cold shoulder (the pureblood must think that had finally lost it by the look he gave him before he left the room) – since the news was not something easy to digest. After all, he, a person that had already dealt with the most horrendous things in life, was reeling in shock himself.
He had been (and still was) seriously taken aback – for the first time in his damned life. Although, he still had to assess (rather seriously) if that was supposed to be a bad thing or a good one, given the circumstances of his predicament.
Probably both, he thought, dejectedly, and fluttered his eyes shut, grasping grasped his strands tightly between his fingers; giving them a rough tug.
For the longest time, he had always assumed (wrongly) that Haruka was the one Zero had feelings for (even if his wife continuously denied the fact), and Zero had only married him out of pity – him being a replacement for his younger brother – because he had been so desperate to acquire Zero as his own.
The bright blushes, the embarrassed looks, the secretive smiles exchanged between the two of them had confirmed his doubts from time to time, and every single time, he would always feel a pang of jealousy whenever Haruka was together with his wife – even if they only happened to be conversing with one another.
Therefore, the days that Zero slept with Haruka (knowing his brother was having a taste of something precious that should solely belong to him) were the most painful; the most dreadful ones for him. Most of the times, he had to literally hurt himself from visiting them, ripping them apart from each other, and decapitating them (especially Haruka) to his heart content.
That was the extent of his anger (and jealousy), mind you.
Moreover, his wife's constant insistence, rather desperate, to sleep with Haruka (despite his continuous objections) was the reason that Rido was absolutely certain that his brother was the one.
And to his greatest chagrin, he hated Haruka for it – so much so, that whenever he looked at him, Rido was unable to feel not disgusted by him.
Jealousy was a petty thing, was it not? It harshly separated two brothers that once upon a time, were willing to give their lives for one another.
Love had gotten the best of them, and unfortunately, things had changed for the worse between them. It would be near impossible to return to the regular lifestyle that they had once shared with each other. Only in death would they become close again, Rido was certain of it.
If only he had known sooner that Zero's object of affection was not Haruka, things might have turned out to be different – for all of them.
Rido released an exasperated sigh, his eyes moving to the unoccupied chair yet again; his right-eyebrow twitching slightly.
Kaname, all along, it was Kaname that held the heart of my Zero. All this fucking time!
He didn't know what to feel about this information. It was beyond his realm of imagination, and even now, he was dealing with the news from a traumatic standpoint.
Who would have thought that it was Kaname of all people? There were no indications whatsoever! No signs, no meetings, no letters, how was it possible for Zero to love him when he did not know a single thing about the pureblood? Why Kaname, and not him, a person who had always been with him from the beginning? How was it even possible?
And why did he have to find in such a way; in such a circumstance when Zero did not even know he had spilled the beans to him?
Heart-wrenching, last night was simply horrendous and not worth reliving, and it was his fault that he had found out about something that he should have not.
Fuck it.
"Mhmm... Mhmm... Please forgive me...I never meant to leave you...Hmm..." The curled-up figure, lying beside him, muttered; voice broken and low, and his frame shook uncontrollably, tears descending from his closed eyes; clutching the sheet draped over him tightly.
Rido woke up with a start, and slowly sat up; remorseful mismatched orbs fixed on the trembling figure; his state of speech rendering as the ache in his heart was too great. He had caused this...He had hurt Zero...What had he done...? A monster, an atrocious bastard, he had become, and there was just no turning back from this; not forgetting this incident.
He had done the unthinkable. He had mistreated; injured the person that he loved more than his life – something he had promised himself that he would never do.
What the fuck was I thinking...?!
"Don't leave me, please... I love you... I love you so much." The sobbing became harsher; louder, and the pang in his heart grew, silent tears glazing his eyes, his features contorting with anguish; with regret.
Without a thought, his arms went around the shaking frame, hugging him tightly, lavishing him with kisses, and stroking his back with soothing touches – all in hopes to lessen Zero's misery; to lessen the dreadful guilt in his heart, even for a fraction.
"I am sorry, Zero. Please forgive me. I didn't mean to hurt you. I lost it. I am so sorry. I love you. I love you. With all of my heart. Forgive me, my love. Don't cry, please."
His voice was hoarse, his throat constricted, and with difficulty, he managed to whisper sweet nothings to the pureblood's ear, droplets of tears tumbling down his cheeks; holding Zero closer to his chest apologetically.
He was a horrible, horrible person. Why did this have to happen? Why could he have not controlled himself more? How could have done this to Zero without feeling no remorse?
His deeds were merely unforgivable, yet he still earned for forgiveness, for Zero not to abandon him; to hate him.
He would not be able to live with himself if that happened. He simply could not live if Zero was not with him.
Blunt nails dug into his unclothed back, as Zero scooted closer to him in his arms, clutching on him tightly; burying his face deeper into his chest, his shirt soaking up with tears.
His lips curled into a wry smile despite himself, and Rido held him even closer, tightening his grip in an attempt to atone for his sins; his regrets.
However, it did not take a second longer for his smile to dissolve into a frown, and for his heart to crumble in the wake of the forthcoming revelation, as more unchecked tears slipped down his cheeks to the mop of silver hair, his eyes wide open, his lips parted to let out a strangled sound.
"I love you... I forgive you... Stay with me... Do not abandon me... please, Kaname, please! "
At that moment, as the realization of what he had heard dawned upon him, Rido realized he was not strong enough, to handle this; to stop his already damaged heart from shattering more and more, as he choked back a pathetic sob, silent tears decorating the corner of his eyes.
And he abhorred himself for it. Very much so.
His head spun, his heart ached, and Rido forced himself back into the reality, closing his eyes; promptly squashing down the memories before they became too much to bear.
What a pureblood he was – weak towards the feeling (and the person) that should give him strength; give him a will to live on.
His ancestors were probably having a blast in their graves, making fun of him; laughing at his inadequacy as a king, as a pureblood – and as a Kuran.
He was unfit, of all charges.
Suddenly, as if to liberate his anguished soul, a glint of a particular object caught his attention, and almost too instantly, mismatched orbs fixed themselves on the said item, a heartrending smile gathering on his lips when the recognition of what it was registered to his barely functioning mind.
A wedding ring. His wedding ring. A small, round band of gold. Simple yet elegant. An object that joined Zero and him in the holy union of matrimony – till death did them apart.
For a moment, his anguish vanished, and for a flash, he took a jog down memory lane – back to a time when he had been eagerly waiting for a certain person to arrive with unveiled anxiety.
His smile enhancing to a wide grin, Rido threw his head back and chuckled under his breath, strong; warm feelings instantly restoring his heart with jubilance.
Ah, that evening was strikingly vivid (as well as extremely embarrassing to recall) until this very day.
The weather, of a closing August, was the kind that felt like a kiss of summer without the fiery heat of noontime. The sun had dawned hours ago, and the moon shone brightly in its place, bathing the creatures of the night with its sacred grace. A breeze, refreshing yet cool, was gentle on his face, something he was grateful for – since the tenseness of his nerves had him sweating like the Niagara Falls.
The concrete path was warm under his bare feet, and Rido sighed, contented in being free from the confinements of his shoes. It felt nice, relaxing – and satisfyingly enough, the edginess from his nerves was soothed and a feeling of relaxation overtook him, which, yet again, he was extremely thankful for.
Maybe, nature was on his side this time around. He could use some good luck, even from a non-living thing, since he desperately required it for what he was about to do – or more likely, 'say' in this case.
At last, the long-awaited day had ultimately arrived. He had finally gathered up the courage (after battling with himself for an extensive period of time) to ask the most dreaded; the most anticipated question that would make Zero officially his – body, soul, and heart; but if that did not happen, in the worst scenario, he would be faced with rejection, causing him a death from the greatest suffering: a broken heart.
In brief words, he was going to propose to Hio Zero.
"I was beginning to think that you would never show up. How long did you intend me to wait for you, Rido?"
A voice glazed with slight exasperation startled him from his musings, and Rido snapped his head up, mismatched orbs slowly becoming wide as they eyed the object of his affections.
Under a sky of perfect midnight velvet, under the luminosity of the moonlight, a figure, slender and tall, cladded in a traditional, white kimono, was seated, his long, lean legs teasingly peeking from the luscious, soft garment.
With difficulty, Rido strained his eyes away from the target of his temptation, and with hesitancy, he met the eyes of his destined one, swallowing down an uncomfortable lump.
He could fantasize about Zero and his perfect legs in the privacy of his chambers. This moment was definitely not the time to do so.
"Cat got your tongue, Rido?
Plum, soft lips curling into a frown, amethysts orbs twinkled and regarded him with a flicker of annoyance, however, not a hint of hate was seen in the midst of them.
Rido shook his head swiftly, biting his inner cheek; anxious, and yet, in his defense, not a single word seemed to have passed his lips.
He was already screwing up without even trying. Great job, Rido. Just splendid.
Unexpectedly, from the east, a swoosh of gentle breeze bristled the strands of silver, collected in a loose ponytail, and his breath hitched in his throat, unable to lay his eyes off from the breathtaking creature; powerless to say a word of compliment.
The entrancing sight of the pureblood captivated his attention, allured him deeper into the sensations of love; of lust, and he managed to force his gaze down on his bare feet, breaths slightly ragged.
Was it possible to fall in love deeper than he already had?
"Are you okay, Rido?" A soft touch on his cheek, a tender kiss on his forehead, and he found himself staring right into the concerned amethyst eyes.
No, I am not, my love.
Sliding his hand on top of the more delicate one, his heart warmed immediately, and he nodded, a faint smile spreading across his features. "Yes, Zero."
"Don't scare me like that again, idiot." With a heavy sigh, Zero flicked his forehead with his forefinger and thumb, but even then, the upward curl of his lips remained – as well as the fond look in those enchanting eyes.
"Forgive me, Zero. It will not happen again."
The object of his affection regarded him silently; contemplatively before shooting him a curt nod. Nothing more was said.
A heavy silence sank down on them, and Rido furrowed his eyebrows together, his heart beating wildly against the confinements of his ribs.
This was definitely not going the way he had planned. Was there even a single hope for a hopeless fool like himself?
"Why have you called me here, Rido?"
Mismatched eyes wide and unsure, his mouth suddenly went dry, and his tongue darted out to smooth his lips, dampening them to make the words flow out more smoothly – as well as to not sound like a broken record on repeat.
An inward sigh, and with determined eyes, he raised his face to meet with the pureblood's bemused amethyst orbs.
"I have something to ask you."
A defined eyebrow was raised, and curiosity flashed across the pale features. "Go on."
Rido opened his mouth, resolute to lay out his proposal in a single sentence, but to his greatest misfortune, his tongue betrayed him, and yet again, he was at loss of words that he desperately needed Zero to hear.
Why? Because once again, the fear of rejection; the dread of losing Zero, suddenly took hold of him, and with exasperation, he kept his mouth shut.
A pathetic coward he was, but the question here was, how dare he become one when the person he loved was concerned? Fuck it. Fuck everything.
"If you have nothing better to say, I shall retire to my quarters for a nap, Rido. I am quite exhausted from my trip," Amethyst eyes narrowing down at him, Zero said with a sigh, and without another word, turned on his heels, heading towards the manor – abandoning him to himself.
As a wake-up call that he was in need of, the greatest alarm pervaded him with relent.
"No, Zero, please wait!" He pleaded, fingers taking a hold of the delicate wrist, and wrenched the surprised pureblood around.
Taking a deep breath, he knelt down, and took the slender hand in his, laying a fond kiss on the knuckles.
"Rido? What the hell–?"
"Shh, my love." He murmured tenderly, raising his head up, a sheepish grin gracing his features, and with a strong determination, Rido locked his eyes with the wide, bewildered ones of the pureblood.
He would see this through the end – if Zero rejected him, he would accept it with a heavy heart. For the time being, he needed to try his best – or he would regret it for the rest of his life with 'what if's' subjected to every doubt and inquiry that he would ever have in the near future.
He could do this! He was a Kuran, after all.
With his smile widening, Rido held the pureblood's hand tighter, eyes sparkling with passion, as he proclaimed his undying love for the person before him,
"I am not the greatest of man, nor I am the kindest of the purebloods. I have flaws, more than anyone else of my authority. But the thing I know without a doubt, the thing I have always been certain of for all of my life, is that, Hio Zero, I love you. I have always loved you since the day I had laid my eyes on you. If it were not for you, I would not have become the man I am now. You are extremely precious to me, and for those reasons, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Zero."
He swallowed and thrust his hand into his pocket, his fingers fumbling around for the item; and with shaky fingers, he presented it to Zero, mismatched orbs nervous, lips quivering as he asked the next words,
"Will you do the honor of becoming my bride, Zero?"
A moment of silence passed, the most awkward one that he had ever experienced, and instead of receiving the rejection he had anticipated, the very opposite reaction happened.
Zero had burst out laughing, his amethyst orbs glazing with moisture.
"Damn, Rido, are you seriously proposing to me with a paper ring?"
He nodded, mismatched orbs resolute, his fingers still trembling as he held the ring to the regaled pureblood. It was more than a paper ring to him – the sentimental value that this particular object bore (to him) could not be compared to any diamonds of this world.
It was simply that irreplaceable.
"I had no idea that the great Rido Kuran was such a cheapskate."
The pureblood laughed again, regarding him with amusement, and Rido frowned heavily, brows furrowed, extremely disappointed to see that his proposal was not taken seriously because the choice of his marriage ring was not fitting. Zero had seriously forgotten, and maybe, he was a fool to remember and preserve this item, which had been given to him more than a decade ago and clearly obliterated from the mind of the person who had gifted it to him in the first place.
He had to prevent himself from bashing his face into the wall – he was extremely flustered with himself, as someone could figure out.
"I am not a cheapskate, Zero. At least not when it comes to you. As for this paper ring, it is just not a simple paper ring. It's exceptional."
"Oh, is that so? Does it the ability to shoot lasers then?"
His frown deepened, and as he spoke, the desperation; the anguish was clearly evident in his words, "No, Zero. It cannot shoot lasers. Have you honestly forgotten about it?"
The mirth on the pureblood's features dissolved into a look of confusion, and with an eyebrow arched, Zero stared down at him, amethyst orbs puzzled.
With a heavy sigh, Rido directed his attention towards the object he held, mismatched eyes fond as he recalled the day he had finally become aware of his not-so-innocent feelings for the son of the Hio family. It had felt liberating, honestly speaking.
"...It's the ring you had given me the first time we had gone to an amusement together. You declared that you loved me, and that day, I made the decision to have you as my lawful spouse, Zero. Quite the decision for a thirteen-year-old, right?" He chuckled nervously, raising his gaze to meet the face of his beloved head on, eyes brimming with pure love that he held for the man before him.
Amethyst orbs instantly softened, as the forgotten recollection became known to the pureblood, and with an awkward cough, Zero averted his gaze to the ground, scratching the back of his head harshly, seeming apprehensive and out of his comfort zone; and yet, his voice was pleasantly gentle despite the choice of his words and actions, "Rido, I am flattered that you think so highly of me, but I cannot accept your proposal. I cannot love you as a man, but only as a friend, a family," A frown made on his face, eyes anguished and guilt-ridden, "Because I have already given my heart to someone else–"
"Is it Haruka?"
The pureblood's eyes widened, but Zero shook his head adamantly, denying his words, but Rido knew better, it had to be his brother. There was no one else in the picture.
"Do not lie to me, Zero."
"I am not lying!"
Anger flashed across his features, and Rido asked through gritted teeth, his outstretched hand sliding down to his side, crushing the item (the one he had always taken such great care of) into his palm without mercy, "If not Haruka, who then? I have not seen you acquainted with other people. It has to be him."
Amethyst eyes narrowed down at him, and with a calm; collected voice, Zero said, features impassive and reserved, "Go away, Rido. If you don't believe me, it is on you. If it makes you feel better, then yes, I am in love with Haruka. I wish not to marry you. Because you are not him. I will never be able to love you, even if I so desired to attempt."
The pureblood turned around again, hands balled into fists, "I am sorry. It should not have been this way." A withdrawn sigh passed his lips, and with a parting glance and a barely-audible 'Farewell', Zero strode towards the mansion, posture stiff and rigid; footsteps fast yet elegant.
With wide eyes, Rido stared the back of the vampire, and with alarm rising through him, he abruptly stood up, marching towards the retreating pureblood with the swiftness that he possessed.
"I will be his exchange."
His words leaving in a rush, Rido said the first thing on his mind, as he grabbed his beloved's wrist, wrenching Zero around to face him with desperation.
"Excuse me?" Zero looked at him with bewilderment, doubt, and to some extent, unease, but his grip on the wrist tightened, refusing to let it go until he made his point clear to the pureblood.
"I sound crazy, I know, and I cannot believe I am saying this, but ... I want to be his replacement until you decide I am not good enough." He said with a sigh, his mismatched orbs anguished and forlorn, an exasperated scowl plastered on his features, "I believe you. I was a fool to doubt you. I cannot be the person you love, but I can be his substitution. Use me as you wish. I can soothe your pain; your loneliness. I love you. I really love you. Do not throw me away. I cannot live without you, Zero."
Zero stared at him with an unreadable expression, and yet Rido smiled through his anguish, as he resumed his speech, his heart aching terribly within his chest, "Throw me away when you get him. But until then, be mine. Give me a chance. Don't reject me without giving me a chance. I will take care of you. I will love you, please, Zero."
A long silence followed his reply, and he bit his inner cheek, preparing for the inevitable rejection. He was a fool, he knew, and yet, he could not help but love Zero, so very deeply, that it was near impossible to resurface from this deep pit of the abyss.
The words that he said was in the heat of the moment, but he meant every one of them to the very last drop. It was better than losing Zero to someone else. If it was him, he might be able to make Zero forget about that person, and maybe, make his beloved, fall in love with him.
What a fool, he had been then – he would realize this after a decade.
With a withdrawal sigh, Zero regarded him, eyes grave and solemn, sliding his wrist away from his grasp. The reaction hurt, but Rido said not a word of it, hiding his distressed eyes away from the pureblood.
"...Give me some time to think about it. I do not promise that my answer would change, or it would be anytime soon, but will you be able to wait for it. Will you able to accept it even if I reject you for the last time?"
Heart thumped loudly in his ribcage, and Rido swiftly nodded, eyes determined, digging his nails into his palm, "Of course, Zero. I will wait an eternity for you if I have to. And if you do not find me worthy of giving me your heart, I will try my hardest to accept that fact too."
A wry sigh escaped through the plump lips, and amethyst orbs eyed him with emotions akin to affection, long fingers pinching his nose, and then, pulling him into a hug, planting a warm kiss on his forehead.
"Idiot, Rido, such a fool."
The memory brought a rueful smile to his lips, and Rido brought his hand closer to lips, placing a yearning kiss upon the golden band.
Zero had indeed come to him, only after 24 weeks of persistent silence. It had pained him to not see his beloved or hear his voice for such a long period of time, but he had waited, albeit impatiently, initiating no contact with the pureblood; praying for the best outcome.
To his bewilderment, the answer was nowhere as cynical as he thought it would be – since Zero seemed to have surprised him yet again with his response.
His hair clutched, his lips sealed with a pair of another one, his eyes locked with soft, amethyst orbs, a whisper, full of compassion, was utter across his parted lips, "I will marry you Rido. I will fulfill all the duties as a wife. Help me forget him. Soothe my pain. But don't expect me to love you. Because I will not be able to."
Without wasting time, the following year, around autumn, the wedding had taken place. It had been grand, beautiful, and simply spectacular. The area had been faced with the breathtaking sunset, slowly descending into slumber, as the moon and the stars had taken its replacement with magnificence. At the end of each seated aisle, lavender scented candles had been hung from the naked tree branches. Petals of white roses had been spread down the aisle, as far as the eyes could see. On either side of the aisle, vampires of all classes and reputation had been seated on the white chairs, their eyes glued to the main couple – him and Zero. In the midst of them, on the front row, Haruka had also taken a seat, shooting daggers at him throughout the entire ceremony.
To say the least, it had been annoying.
But he had decided to not give a single heed to anyone, not even to his brother. His eyes; his attention had been on Zero the whole time – ever since his soon-to-be-wife had walked down the aisle, looking merely entrancing in his white ruffled shirt, accompanied with white dress pants and shoes, a transparent veil around his head, while in his hands, a bouquet of white orchids was held.
Zero had been, and still was, the definition of beautiful, and Rido, even then, had a hard time of believing that he was about to acquire the pureblood all to himself in a period of mere moments.
Hio Zero would officially belong to him, and him alone – and he just could not wait.
Although his attention had been fixed on Zero, the same thing could not have been said for the pureblood. Even on their wedding day, he had not been the object of his wife's attentiveness, but someone else.
With a forlorn smile, a yearning look had been directed towards a child – sitting in the back row, towards the furthest corner to the left – brown hair ruffled, wine-red nervous, continuously flickering around from one person to the other before dropping down to his lap, almost dejectedly; his hands balled into fists on his sides.
For a reason justified to him, he had felt jealous – since he had wanted Zero's eyes to be only placed on him, but it had quickly diminished away, as he had scrutinized the boy for a longer period of time. A peculiar aura surrounded the brunette, a strange allure, and for some unknown explanation, the boy had felt familiar – so much so, that he could actually consider him a family – without even knowing him first.
What a baffling feeling, indeed!
Amethyst eyes loving; fond, Zero had chuckled warmly under his breath when the young brunette had literally gulped down the piece of their wedding cake (offered to him by a passing waiter). Creamy stains messily covered the side of his lips, and with the back of his hand, he wiped them off; disregarding the use of the napkin; increasing the volume of his spouse's laughter.
Frowning slightly, Rido had shot the pureblood a puzzled look before quickly dismissing it, as his attention was swayed by the guests that had arrived to congratulate them. At that time, the only conclusion he had been able to come with was that Zero must have been fond of kids – the reason being his undivided concentration on the pureblood child.
Oh, how wrong he had been.
At their reception, his father had introduced the child to them the next day as Kuran Kaname. A distant cousin of the Kurans; a child that had recently lost his mother through a tragic accident, and someone who was going to stay with his father and his brother in the main Kuran Manor.
And an individual that he had no idea of existing – until that very day.
Why would his father hide someone of this importance from him? He had a cousin, another family member, and his father did not think that he had the right to know?
What in the seven hells was he thinking? But he had decided to not ask his queries to the man. He did not want bloodshed on his wedding day, thank you.
From the corners of his eyes, he had cast a curious glance towards Zero, and immediately, a frown had made its way on his face as he had scrutinized the tense; unease features of the pureblood. Concerned amethysts eyes had kept flickering from his father to Kaname before settling on his father, eyeing him with disgust and hate.
However, before he could place a finger on the reason for his spouse's predicament, a sweet; low voice snapped him out of his concerns,
"You look beautiful. Congratulations on your marriage." Kaname had taken Zero's hand in his smaller one, placing a butterfly kiss on his knuckles; burgundy orbs twinkling as he eyed the pureblood with a smile.
And at that moment, tears had welled up in the amethyst eyes, and with a croaky voice, Zero had shot the young pureblood his most beautiful smile (one which he had never seen on his wife before), grasping the hand into his; squeezing it gently.
"Thank you, Kaname."
Yet again, he had dismissed the exchange as being nothing important. Zero had been emotional because it was their wedding day: a conclusion he had come with to chase away his insecurities.
Oh, how misguided he had been.
After becoming acquainted with Kaname, he had immediately taken a liking to the young pureblood. The child was courteous, sweet, extremely intelligent, and unfortunately, mostly kept to himself – almost to the point of being antisocial. But he did not mind, after all, these characteristics made Kaname different from the other pureblood children – something he had found to be extremely intriguing.
He would visit Kaname a day or two each month, bringing him books of adventure and fairytale (his favorite choice of stories) every single time. The bright smile on the young features had always been the highlight of his days, and without knowing himself, he had started considering Kaname as a family, as his own, as his younger brother – since Haruka refused to have anything to do with him after his marriage with Zero.
However, the most peculiar occurrence of this time period was that whenever he had intentions to pay Kaname a visit, Zero would insist on tagging along with him (every time), and yet, for some reason, his wife would never initiate a contact with Kaname when they reached the manor, seeming contented from watching the young pureblood from the shadows.
He had found the behavior strangely odd, but yet again, he had never questioned Zero about it, shrugging it off as being nothing to worry over.
Once again, how fucking awry he had been!
His father had died two years later, the cause of his death being suicide. Why did he do it? He had no clue himself, but he was definitely sure that it had to do with his mother's death. The pureblood had not been the same after that incident – it was evident in his attitude and actions.
As a result of his father's death, Kaname had been adopted by the Shoto family – only because Mrs. Himeko Shoto had been particularly insistent about adopting the young pureblood – claiming that she had been good friends with his father and she did not think it would be a good idea for him and Zero to take care of Kaname since they had recently gotten married and would be planning to have children of their own. Moreover, it would be good for Kaname to have a pureblood of his age around him since her son, Isaya Shoto, was the same age as Kaname – Mrs. Shoto's words that had been, and not his own.
Haruka also seemed to be out of the option – since he was horrible with children and was expected to study abroad for three to four years.
All in all, the Shoto family appeared to be a godsend – and he tried his best not to feel suspicious about their intentions and goodwill.
After a long, serious contemplation, he had agreed with Mrs. Shoto – albeit reluctantly. Her reasons had been rather persuasive, compelling, and seemed to have Kaname's finest interests in mind. He had desired nothing but the best for Kaname because, at that time of period, he had not deemed himself good enough for a child's upbringing.
Honestly speaking, he was not prepared, and that scared him because he would not be able to take care of Kaname as a proper guardian – and that was the last thing he wanted.
However, even if he had taken his time to explain his incredibly logical reasons to his wife, Zero had not been aboard with his decision. On the contrary, the pureblood had been adamantly opposed to the arrangement, relentlessly insisting that Kaname should stay with them since he was related to them and they would take better care of him than the 'infamous bloodthirsty Shoto family.'
His response had merely been a raised eyebrow and a curt, 'It's the best thing for Kaname', which Zero had responded with a heated glare before storming off the room.
He had been worried that he had offended his spouse somehow, but a few hours later, Zero had come to him, apologizing profusely; stating his opinion on the matter – before starting to act like his usual self (as if the incident had never happened).
Once again, Rido had disregarded the outburst as being nothing more than a mere concern for the well-being of Kaname.
Yet again, how fucking inaccurate he had been.
Everything, since day one, began to piece together, and slowly yet swiftly, the issues he had been confused about before perfectly made sense to him now.
How could he have been so blind to the facts that were right in front of him? How could he refuse to see the most obvious clues? But, even if he had known before, what could he have done otherwise? Would have things turned out differently? Would the situation be better than it was now? What alternative could have happened?
Would his chance to marry Zero, to call him as his own, to love him, never have happened if he had been aware of Zero's feelings for Kaname?
The answer was extremely clear to him, as his own selfishness made itself known to him again, and with a heart-rending sigh, Rido buried his face into the palms of his hands, sobbing pathetically.
He refused to lose Zero. He had no desire to give Zero away to someone else – to Kaname. He wanted Zero to belong to him, and him alone.
His selfishness had no bounds. His possessiveness had surpassed the limits. Unwillingly, he felt insanely jealous of Kaname, and yet, he simply could not bring himself to hate him. He loved Kaname – like a younger brother; as his own family. The pureblood was not at fault – it was him, and only him.
If he had never persuaded Zero to marry him... If he had not made Zero stay with him... If he had not been so pathetic...
Zero would have probably ended with Kaname. He would have been happy. His happiness did not lie with him, and it never would, because he was not Kaname.
But even now, after knowing all of these things, he was unable to let go off Zero. It hurt, yes, but it would pain him, even more so, to be far away from his beloved.
The day Zero would come to the decision that he did not want him anymore in his life, he would leave – without a word of protest; complaint. However, he would only do that after making sure Zero was happy, even if he had to literally hand him over to Kaname to do so.
Until then, he would be with Zero, pretending to be usual-self, feigning to not know his feelings for another man, making amends for the mistakes he had committed against him, and at last, asking for absolution for the atrocious things he had done to him the previous night.
He would do it all – with everything he had in him; until he regained the respect; the trust Zero had lost in him, and until the time, Zero abandoned him for good.
If this was not true love, that he did not know what it was.
Determination welling in his mismatched orbs, Rido wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and speedily stood up, briskly walking towards the door.
He would become a better person, for everyone involved. It was not the time to drown himself in self-pity. It was not like him.
After all, he had more important matters (and people) to deal with. His empathy for himself could wait.
Squaring his shoulders, he looked straight ahead, and as he was about to ascend the long staircase, suddenly and out of nowhere, Kaname, with red-puffy eyes and looking like a mess, came running down and past him, almost knocking him down in the process. Bewildered beyond words, he quickly whirled around, intending to call Kaname out (since he worried about him), but his lips halted in mid-sentence as an equally concerned Isaya followed the distressed pureblood out of the doors, shooting him a nod (clearly stating that he would take care of him) before disappearing out of his sight.
Rido swallowed a sigh and, a second later, resumed his stride over the stairs to the bedroom that belonged to him and Zero. Whatever troubled his cousin, Haruka must inevitably be involved – as he always was. But for the time being, he had not to worry. Kaname was in good hands. Isaya would look after him. He still had trouble understanding why Kaname would leave the pureblood (who undoubtedly loved him and him alone) for a foolish man like his brother, but who was he to blame Kaname for it?
Love made people blind – and extremely moronic. He would know. Why? Because that was the only logical answer to Kaname's love for Haruka – which happened to be very similar to his own one for Zero.
Heaving a deep sigh, he shook his head and made a mental note to check up on the pureblood when he was finished attending Zero.
Because, at this moment, Zero was his topmost priority.
With a gentle a push, Rido opened the double-doors leading to his bedroom, and with wide eyes, he met the eyes of his furious brother, on the floor, with a suspicious (slowly fading away) hand-mark on his left cheek.
And the only words that left his mouth, a delightful smirk spreading across his lips, was:
"Am I interrupting something?"
A/N: And this is the end of the chapter~! What did you think about Rido's past? (¤﹏¤) He was adorable, and yet a highly intelligent, kid~! At least, it was a fresh break from the usual angsty-ness, haha. I will also do Isaya's backstory soon – for those who like him, that is. ●ᴥ●
Special Note: Rido had decided to become a replacement to Zero because he had really thought he would be able to make Zero fall for him in the future. Unfortunately, that did not happen. Now, he cannot let off go Zero even if he tried to. He will only do so when Zero makes it clear to him that he does not want him (Rido) in his life anymore. Tragic, I know! ٩(×̯×)۶
Reviews/Feedback are highly appreciated and welcomed~! I love reading them! ٩◔‿◔۶
I would also like to show my gratitude to those people who read, reviewed (horrorstar100, LuanRina, ben4kevin, Zero-vk, WeirdBlackCat, alisjackson59, VeronicaChase, Kay Queen, MonkeyGrapes, and perce-neige), and fave/alerted my story. ❀‿❀ Thank you very much!
As a response to the guest reviewer: I will work on the next chapter for Love Is Bittersweet next week~! Sorry for taking this long. v(ಥ ̯ ಥ)v
Well, this is it for now. Take care, and have a lovely day/night. ＼(●~▽~●)