Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or any of its characters.

Author's Note: This was the hardest chapter to write due to Lovina's part. I was on a sort of writer's block with just what to write with her, but I'm finally over it.

~Can't Forget~

As nails dug into his back Ludwig could not suppress the urge to drive himself deeper into the girl beneath him. Her own hips were rolling upwards to meet his thrusts at a pace that seemed to get more and more furious, sending him closer to a euphoric edge.

This should have been uncomfortable with the bitten and clawed skin, the growing heat of the car and cramped space, but it all somehow managed to add to his pleasure. Damn! How good it was form him.

He was not sure how he had managed to take control and get her underneath him when they had started out with her on top of him, but he did know that her fighting him for dominance only made the sex they were having that much better.

He sunk his teeth into her neck as a way of trying to hold on a little longer, causing Lovina to scream out what he was sure were Italian curses. He was certain it was more in ecstasy than pain by the way she tried to make him go deeper, her legs becoming tighter around his waist and her hips increasing in speed.

How weird this was for him to be so rough. Being raised a gentleman; Ludwig had always imagined himself to be a gentler lover, not some savage animal who left bruises with passion. Then again, he had also thought losing his virginity would be more awkward and less hot and with Felicia instead of her sister.

Ludwig could feel his end nearing and roughly grabbed his lover's hips for better control. He was so close and he did not care if he was hurting her or not. His mind too clouded with lust and a need for release.

His head flew back when his body started to convulse in pleasure. He held Lovina very tightly and close to him as he rode out the intense feeling, her name rolling his tongue.

Blue eyes shot open to the sound of a ringing alarm clock, and the sleeping blonde jolted up, waking up to sweat drenched sheets and soiled underwear – a bad side effect to the wet dreams he had been having a lot of as of late. It was odd that what he trouble remembering at first kept rushing back at him through his subconscious. Yes, his unconscious mind seemed to fill in those gaps very well.

Breathing hard, Ludwig smoothed a clammy, shaking hand through his hair in an attempt to calm himself down, even a little. He really needed to catch his breath before he went into cardiac arrest or worse, but his current thoughts were making it hard for his heart to quit racing.

Why was this hard for him? He had asked himself over and over why it was so difficult to let this go. He was not a feeling man and was usually good at keeping things to himself. So why was he having trouble with this?

Behaving so insecurely was not something he was used to and was far from his usual personality, very out of his character. Ludwig was usually very confident and sure of himself when it came to most things, but that confidence seemed to melt away at the thought of any type of intimate relationships such as friendship and romance. They were just something he had never really gotten, probably due to the little experience he had with them.

He was not used to having close friends – he had only been friends with Felicia and Kiku for a little over year now – and had no idea how to act. Sure, he was somewhat close to his brother and cousin, but his relationship with his family was entirely different. He had grown up with Gilbert and Roderich so the closeness between them had always been there, nothing he had to achieve, not like his friendships with Kiku and Felicia.

So just how had Lovina seduced him into sleeping with her?

'Lovina.'

How badly Ludwig had wanted to talk to her since last Friday, about Friday, but, because of his lack of experience with this kind of thing, he had not found the nerve to barely even look at her. He should have been happy; she had not said anything. Lovina had kept her promise and continued to avoid him like she had always done before, like nothing ever happened. How much easier this all should have for him than her.

Then why was he the one who had trouble pretending they had not had sex? Why was he the one finding it difficult to talk to Felicia?

'Felicia.'

Her name ran through his mind as he stared at the dark ceiling above him, still not yet ready to get out of bed.

How was going to hide this from her? Even if they were not dating yet, Ludwig still felt guilty about what he had done. How could he not with the strange feelings he felt towards her which were only made worse by the conflicting emotions he was starting to develop for Lovina, emotions which he had no idea what to call or even how to handle.

Damnit! Why was this all so confusing?

Ludwig took glance at the clock before finally deciding to get out of bed. He needed to clear his mind; he needed his to work this stress off with a morning run, but, most of all, he needed to change his underwear. Yes, he definitely needed new pair of underwear along with pants before he took his morning run around town.

Having just woken up, the blonde staggered slowly over to his dresser for the necessary attire and quickly dressed.

His cousin would no doubt be pissed at him for wasting clean clothes just to sweat in when his dirty clothes would have done just fine. Although Ludwig did not wish to argue with him, he would rather be nagged for his 'carelessness' than discuss his lewd dreams with the prudish man.

Unsurprisingly, the rest of the apartment was still dark as Ludwig quietly made his way through to the door, careful not wake his sleeping cousin.

Ludwig had already been yelled at by the Austrian man about the subject more times than he cared to discuss. Then again, Roderich always had something to yell at him for from old underwear to bathroom etiquette, though Ludwig had grown accustomed to it, having had lived with Roderich for the past year and a half, and respected the older man's wishes.

A cool breeze met him when he had stepped outside, slowly closing the door behind him. He was hoping a few miles of running would help rid him of his problem, even though it had not been working for him every other morning this past week. Maybe, this time would be different.

There he was again, trying his damnest not to look at her, but she knew he wanted to, she could tell. She was sure he wanted talk to her, talk about that night, and although she kind of wanted to talk him too, talking about it would break their agreement and make it harder for them to forget. So she would just have to be content with secretly watching him from afar, making sure he would not screw up and let it out that they had slept together, for Felicia's sake more than anything.

'But what if I don't want to forget?'

She could hear a voice inside her say. There was a part of her that did enjoy that night and loved his company, but she loved Antonio too much to let herself go there. She may have been too proud to admit it, but she did love him. Even if they were not on speaking terms, even if he had hurt her by trying to do what he thought was help her, even he had not apologized for it yet, she still loved Antonio, she was still in love with Antonio, and her one night stand with Ludwig was not worth risking what she had with Antonio.

Then there was Felicia. Lovina watched from her spot by her locker as the perky girl tried chatting with the blonde German, though it was apparent that he was not too interested in talking to her. He probably felt just as guilty as Lovina. How could he not? He had feelings for Felicia – if they had not vanished after having sex with Lovina – and also knew how much it would hurt Felicia if she found out.

'Isn't that what you wanted? Isn't why you fucked him? – to hurt Felicia and Antonio?'

Another more sinister voice inside her cruelly asked, another heavy wave of guilt viciously consuming her. It was true; she had slept with Ludwig as a way of purposely hurting them. Her sister and Antonio, the only people in the world who truly loved her, Lovina had wanted to hurt them, had meant to hurt them because they made the one mistake of loving her. She did not want things to be like this, not in the slightest, but how was she supposed to take it all back?

"Lovina?"

The waving of a hand in her face was enough to interrupt Lovina from of her current thoughts.

"Yo, are you okay?" came the voice of Allison.

The brunette quickly stepped back in a bit of shock, shaking her head as a means snapping herself completely out of her daze.

"Si, I'm fine."

How long had she been standing there?

"I was just…" she was unsure of just what to call what she was doing.

"It looked kind of like you were spying on your sister. What for?"

"It's… nothing."

"What? Are you still pissed because she likes the 'potato bastard' and he just totally might like her back?"

Lovina was far from thinking of that and had actually been 'spying' on Ludwig and his suspicious behavior, not Felicia. Ever since Monday morning he had started acting weirder than he normally did, especially around Felicia. It was hard for the elder twin not to take notice of Ludwig doing everything in his power to avoid Felicia. He was shrugging her off when she tried to cling to him and trying his best not to stay around her too much. Sure, he had done something similar when he had first met Felicia and he was not yet used to her quirks, but what he was doing now was obviously different.

'Probably even to Felicia.'

Lovina could not say that she was not doing her best to stay away from her sister as well, but she had always acted that way with Felicia. Even before Friday night, Lovina had treated Felicia with a sort of ambivalence; so it was not really anything new for Lovina ignore Felicia or even leave the room when Felicia was around.

"You're so doing it again," Allison interrupted her thinking for the second time.

"What?"

"You're, like, so zoning out again," the blonde teasingly repeated. "You sure you're okay?"

Lovina rolled her eyes and nodded.

"I'm fine. I've just got a lot on my mind, that's all," Lovina told her extremely cheerful friend. "What are you so happy about, anyways?" Although it was not odd for Alli to always have some sort of goofy grin on her face, she seemed a little bit peppier than usual today and before lunch too.

"Kiki and I get are, like, so going costume shopping today!" Alli excitedly replied, jumping up and down. "I've been ecstatic about since he called me last night and told me!"

"You do know it's the middle of September, right?"

"All the more reason to get a head start on picking out a costume! If we wait 'til October, then there's, like, a good chance all the good stuff will be gone! Remember what happened last year?"

'No.'

Infact, Lovina had no idea why the blonde was so obsessed with Halloween but figured it may have had something to do with the costumes and candy, although she did remember something about Arthur and Alli always having some sort of scare competition between them during that time; a competition that Arthur seemed to win since Alli was fourteen, except for maybe last year. Lovina had found it suspicious that Alli had somehow managed to win it last year, around the same time she and Kiku started hanging out.

"Yeah, but where the fuck are you going to find costumes? I'm not a shopping expert, but I'm pretty sure that most stores don't start carrying costumes until October."

"Kiki said he found a place that does! That's why he called me, duh." She was even gleeful when she was being blunt. "It's, like, so totally cool, right?"

"The coolest," Lovina said dryly. "So I guess this means you won't be home today?"

Lovina had really counted on hiding out from Felicia at Allison's again like she had been for the last few days. Even after a week, Lovina still found it hard to be around her sister without feeling guiltier than she already did. Hell, to keep from going home the morning after she and Ludwig had sex, Lovina had spent Saturday getting high with Matthew while Alli and Kiku played video games all night.

"Nope! I'm going to be shopping all day!" Allison ecstatically replied. "Why? You want to hangout or something, 'cause you can totally come too if you want."

Lovina shook her head in response. Even if it would delay her from having to go home, she still would rather stick a fork in a toaster than go costume shopping, especially if it meant playing the third wheel to the other two teens because Lovina knew the two might as well be dating. Alli may have been oblivious to it, but Lovina was certain that Kiku was in love with the blonde airhead.

"No thank you."

"It's your loss," Allison told her, smiling. "But if you change your mind, you're always welcome to come."

"Not likely," Lovina said as the class bell rang.

"Well, I'm off to cooking class," Alli said with excitement. Then again, was there anything that did not excite her? "We get partnered up and start cooking today!"

"Oh, what a joyous world we live in."

"Isn't it, though?"

Lovina just rolled her eyes before heading off to her next class. Allison was too immune to sarcasm to even bother coming up with a retort.

'What's she crying about this time?' Lovina irritably wondered as she got up from her bed to go check on her sister. 'Something stupid, no doubt.'

Aside from being from being the happy-go-lucky girl she was known for, it was no secret that Felicia also tended to be quite sensitive and dramatic when it came to almost any type of criticism, so it was really no surprise to hear her bawling her eyes over the most trivial things.

"What's fucking wrong with you this time?" Lovina irately asked the younger Vargas when she had made it to Felicia's open doorway but received no answer as Felicia just continued to cry.

'Stupid girl.'

Lovina was about to yell at Felicia for not answering but noticed that was something was off, something was way off. Usually when Felicia was upset, she would just dramatically wail without really shedding very many tears, which was more annoying than serious. This time, however, she was sobbing, something Lovina had barely ever seen Felicia really do, which only confirmed it for Lovina that something really was wrong and Felicia really was upset.

Lovina felt an unexpected pain in her heart from seeing her sister like this. Their relationship may have been anything close to perfect, but that did not mean Lovina liked seeing her younger sister in pain of any sort, even when she had caused it.

"What's wrong, sorella?" Lovina asked again, this time more gently and with less profanity. She knelt down beside her sister and wrapped her arms around her as a means of comforting Felicia. Any other time, Lovina was certain she would have scolded the ditz for something like this, even if she was genuinely distressed, but the guilt Lovina was carrying around made it hard for her to do that.

Felicia looked up to face her sister, tears continuingly falling down her face.

"Ve? Did I…did I do something…wrong?" Felicia managed to choke out between sobs.

Lovina's heart began to race out of the sudden fear that was coursing through her, hoping she was wrong in her thinking. Had Ludwig told her about them? How she prayed she was indeed wrong.

"N-no, I don't think s-so. W-why would you say something so s-silly?' Lovina asked the younger twin, trying her best not to stutter, nervous feelings causing her to oddly not make some sort of sarcastic remark.

"Ludwig doesn't want to be friends with me, and I can't figure out why!"

A feeling of relief rushed through Lovina at hearing her sister had not found out; however, the guilt she was feeling only increased, mainly because of the relief.

"What makes you say that?" Lovina hugged the other girl tighter. She was usually not the type to get all 'touchy feely', but Lovina felt too responsible for this to not do something to comfort Felicia. Hell, she was responsible no matter how indirect; Lovina was the one at fault, having caused this.

"Ve! He won't talk to me anymore, and every time I come around him, he leaves without even a saying 'goodbye' or anything. He also doesn't answer the phone when I call and hardly ever looks at me. I think he doesn't want me there."

"I'm sure you're just overreacting," Lovina lied but still not effective at calming Felicia. "I have no idea why you're getting upset over that potato bastard, anyway. If anything, you should be the one ignoring him! If he is ignoring you, then I would consider it a blessing. You're much too good for him."

"Ve? But…I really like him," Felicia was barely able to whisper. "I just thought that he may like me too."

Her sister's words hit like a ton of bricks, and Lovina was reminded of just how badly she had screwed up.

'I can't breathe!'

The feeling of guilt was drowning her while the overwhelming stress was crushing the air out of her lungs. She needed to deal with it, but she was not about to leave Felicia. It was her fault Felicia was upset. Whether Felicia knew it or not, it was Lovina's fault, and Lovina was not about to leave Felicia to cry by herself. She would just have to wait and take care of her problems later.

Author's Note: I feel like I'm making Antonio out to be to be the villain of the story, which, by the way, he's not. He's just extremely worried about Lovina, but since the story is mainly written from her perspective, he seems like the bad guy. The next chapter will be a little bit different as it will be only chapter not centered around Lovina or Ludwig and will instead be more Alli centric. You'll see why.