Elaine walked the halls reciting the words in her mind. She had to memorize them, make sure they were perfect. This would be an important day in their lives, and she wanted to get it right. Alistair's voice still echoed in her head as he'd spoken the Joining ritual so long ago, and now filling his role was more difficult than she could have imagined. She was thankful Varel would be passing the cup to the recruits, certain her hands would shake and spill the viscous liquid everywhere.

No, the words were important enough. Her first duty as Warden Commander. She couldn't screw this up. Mhairi had dreamt of this day. Oghren had traveled a long way for it. And Anders, well, it was his only way to find some sort of freedom. Elaine also studied those words to avoid thinking of Anders. Of what today would mean, of what it could possibly bring. She wasn't certain of her feelings toward him, but she knew sadness would fill her heart should he not survive.

Varel walked towards her holding the jug and chalice, and it all became very real, very quickly. They entered the hall where the recruits waited and Elaine smiled at them. Anders seemed almost apprehensive. Oghren looked bored. And Mhairi's eyes were filled with wonderment and excitement, and even a hint of pride.

Elaine stood next to Varel in front of them, trying desperately to hide her fear.

Varel spoke first. "The time has come for us to begin the Joining. Elaine shall speak the words that have been said since the first." He nodded towards Elaine.

"Join us, brothers and sisters," she said solemnly. "Join us in the shadows where we stand, vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn." She looked up at Anders. "And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten, and that one day we shall join you." Elaine bowed her head, unable to bear watching the completion of the ritual.

Varel retrieved the goblet and presented it to Oghren. "From this moment forth, Oghren, you are a Grey Warden."

Oghren looked within the cup and appeared agitated. "What's this? The sampler size? Are you trying to say something about my height, eh?"

Varel seemed taken aback. "This is the goblet that has always been used, recovered from the ruins of Ostagar," he told Oghren.

"Really? Huh." He seemed unconvinced as he took a sip of the tainted mixture. And then in true Oghren fashion, he burped. "Hmm, not bad."

Varel sighed. "Maker help us all," he said to Elaine.

She giggled slightly, and shrugged her shoulders.

Varel refilled the goblet and presented it to Anders. "From this moment forth, Anders, you are a Grey Warden."

Anders looked at Varel in understanding. "So we need to drink darkspawn blood? That's it?"

Varel confirmed the rules for him. "That is it, yes."

"Well all right," Anders said looking at Elaine. "But if I wake up two weeks from now on a ship bound for Rivain, in nothing but my smallclothes and a tattoo on my forehead, I'm blaming you."

She smiled at him, and held her breath as he brought the cup to his lips. He tilted his head back, taking all of it at once as she had done, and handed the cup back to Varel. Immediately his eyes went white, he wobbled a little, and then hit the floor with a loud thud.

Elaine gasped, unable to control herself, as Varel knelt down to check on him. "He lives, Commander, and will awaken in time."

For a moment she thought she was going to pass out as well, and took a deep breath to regain her composure.

Varel concluded with Mhairi. "From this moment forth, Mhairi, you are a Grey Warden."

"I have long awaited this moment," she said full of pride, and then swallowed the contents of the goblet. She handed the cup back to Varel, and mere seconds later started to choke and gag. She fell to her knees, hand to her own throat, and took in her last breath before falling to the ground, dead.

"I am sorry, Mhairi," Varel said with his head down. "May the Maker watch over you now." He handed the cup to Elaine to return to the Grey Warden vaults in the Keep. "Poor Mhairi," he said as he called the guards to remove her body. "If you have a moment Commander, there's some business we must attend to in the grand hall."

"Of course," Elaine said, shaking hands with Oghren and welcoming him to their ranks. She would conclude whatever business that was necessary, but warned Varel they must proceed quickly, as she had preparations to make for Mhairi's funeral.

He promised her it would be a brief discussion, with only two advisors, after which the rest of the day would be her own.

She was told she didn't have to watch over him, but Elaine insisted Anders be brought to her room. He lay quietly, sleeping in her bed, and she gently ran her fingers through his long hair. He had been asleep for several hours, which made Elaine nervous since she wasn't certain how long these things should take. She had no memory of how long she was unconscious after her Joining, only that she was thankful familiar faces were there when she woke up from the horrible nightmare. Was he even dreaming now that the Archdemon was dead?

She was supposed to be some kind of Commander, yet Elaine found she had more questions than answers when it came to her new position. She wanted to curse Alistair for not teaching her, but remembered he also had known very little. Then she wanted to curse Duncan, but remembered it wasn't his fault he had died. She could blame Riordan, blame the Wardens at Ostagar, or the Wardens from Orlais, but no, they had all died thanks to the darkspawn. Anger was consuming her, and she wanted to hate someone, so she decided to channel her hate at the darkspawn. As soon as Anders awoke, she vowed to go on a little hunting trip.

Mhairi's death had upset her, but she refused to let anyone be aware of that fact. The only person Elaine had ever met who was eager to be a Warden, who wanted it more than anything, and she had died. If she'd had other aspirations in life, Mhairi would still be alive. She could've done anything, but the one thing she'd wanted had killed her before she could even begin. Another death to add to the long list of people Elaine had met and lost since leaving the Circle. Days like today she almost wished she were back there.

Anders stirred beneath her, and she gasped in surprise at the movement. He turned his head and looked up at her, smiling. "It appears I have died and gone to a place of beauty," he said groggily.

Elaine smiled back at him, silently thanking the Maker he had returned to her. "How's your head?" she asked as he tried to sit up. "You smacked it pretty good when you passed out."

"About that," Anders said placing his hand on his head and relieving himself of his headache. "You really should have people standing ready to catch us should it happen."

"I'm sorry," she said sweetly as she rubbed the spot where he had focused his magic.

"Well, if it leads to pretty women in my bed, I shall forgive all."

Elaine laughed. "You're in my bed Anders."

He looked around, realizing she was correct. "And I still have my clothes on? What's wrong with you?"

She couldn't help but laugh again, and laid down on the bed with her head on his chest. "Mhairi didn't make it," she whispered then, allowing the grief and vulnerability to overcome her in their brief moment alone.

Anders felt the shift in her mood and rubbed her back. "I'm sorry," he said. "I thought for sure she'd survive."

"Me too," Elaine said, wiping the few tears that had fallen. "So much senseless death; it takes good people away from us."

Anders sighed. "An unfortunate part of life. It should've taken the dwarf; at least we'd still have ale in the Keep."

She had to laugh at that, and he smiled knowing he could break her from her brief depression. "I mean seriously, he enjoyed drinking darkspawn blood. There has to be something wrong with him!"

Elaine nodded, still giggling. "I'm very glad you survived Anders. This place would be dreadful without you."

"Oh, so that's why you wanted me to be a Warden, to satisfy your boredom?" Anders began running his fingers through her hair now.

"To satisfy something, at least," Elaine flirted back.

"Ah well, we'll have to see what I can do to… satisfy you," he softly replied.

And so began Elaine's new post as Warden Commander, and Anders' new life as a Grey Warden. She was introduced to Captain Garevel, a high-ranking officer in the Grey Wardens, though not a Warden himself, and Mistress Woolsey, the treasurer for the Grey Wardens. Between them and Varel, Elaine and her companions were kept pretty busy with mundane and political tasks in and around the city.

Several other people she met during her travels had come with her to join the ranks of the Grey Wardens. Her first new companion was actually a prisoner left in the Keep's dungeons during the attack. Nathaniel Howe was captured trying to break into the Keep, which was originally his family's estate, but was given to the Wardens after the his father's betrayal. She convinced him that restoring his family name was a better option than becoming a murderer, like his father had, when Nathaniel had also informed Elaine he wanted to kill her. Anders and Oghren thought she was mad at first; not only for letting him live, but for letting him stay with her. Memories of how well things had turned out with Zevran helped her decide to give this rogue a chance. He accepted a place in the Wardens and survived the Joining.

Word spread to the Keep about several murders in the Wending Woods, and when the party set out to investigate, they discovered a Dalish mage named Velanna. Darkspawn had confused the mage's mind and convinced her that humans had kidnapped her sister. As a result, she was taking her revenge on every human she could find. When Velanna learned the darkspawn had actually kidnapped her sister, she agreed to join the Wardens and use their gift of sensing darkspawn as a means to find her sister. Elaine agreed under the condition that if her sister was found, her service to the Wardens would be repayment for allowing her to live after committing so many murders. She too survived the Joining.

Sigrun came to be a Warden for several reasons. As a member of the Legion of the Dead, she was no stranger to fighting darkspawn. The dwarf rogue was unfortunately the last survivor of her group, and had almost been taken by the darkspawn herself, until Elaine and the Wardens stumbled upon her at Knotwood Hills. She'd wanted to join the Wardens to enhance her skills as a member of the Legion, and Oghren wouldn't stop pestering Elaine until she agreed to let the dwarf attempt the Joining. Another success almost gave Elaine the hope that maybe all this death was finally coming to an end.

A search for a missing Warden would shatter that belief, however. Elaine, Anders, Oghren and Nathaniel set out to find Kristoff, a Warden that had been tracking down a lead on why the darkspawn remained active after the Blight had ended. They began in Amaranthine, and searched the Wardens room at the local Inn, only to find he had taken off for the Blackmarsh. A creepy, empty town surrounded by skeletal trees; the smell of death surrounded the place. Nathaniel said there was a hint of something supernatural in the air, and repeated old stories his father had once told him of Blackmarsh. Elaine and Anders both felt significant tears in the Veil, the barrier between the mortal realm and the Fade, so they proceed with caution.

Darkspawn corpses littered the ground, a sign that Kristoff had recently been there. But upon further exploration of the woods, they made the grim discovery of Kristoff's body. As they began to search the corpse and the surrounding area, darkspawn surround them, and they were transported through a tear in the Veil and into the Fade, where they met a spirit called Justice. The spirit informed them that The Baroness, who once ruled the Blackmarsh, had brought the entire village into the Fade with her when the townsfolk revolted against her authority. Justice intended to free them, and asked for the Wardens assistance. A difficult battle ensued, resulting in the Baroness expelling them back into the mortal realm, Justice included. With no body to inhabit - he was, after all, a spirit of the Fade - he ended up trapped in the corpse of Kristoff.

Elaine and Anders grew closer during their time traveling together and battling darkspawn. They'd often practice magic together, teaching each other new spells and ways to combine their powers to increase the damage they could cause. Once Velanna joined them, they taught each other as much as possible to enhance their skills against the darkspawn.

There were, of course, complications with their relationship; mostly Elaine's advisors kept telling her that as Commander she should not be having relations with someone under her command. While she agreed with them, she wasn't about to give up her happiness because someone, somewhere, didn't agree with her decisions. Anders was who she wanted, and what she needed. He fought by her side during the day, and allowed her the release she needed at night. She could never explain to their objectors why their relationship had to be, just demanded it be left alone. Eventually, the advisers remained silent, even after Anders moved into the Commanders room.

Anders remained very carefree with his new freedom. He especially enjoyed the novelty of traveling with important people and not being harassed by Templars. Sometimes he'd even dance taunting circles around them, and Elaine had to remind him that while they couldn't capture him openly, they could still try to kidnap him. He laughed at her and told her she was paranoid, and she didn't argue since she enjoyed seeing him happy. Their relationship remained heated and sexual, and for a time, it satisfied them both. It wasn't until they ran into an old flame of Anders that things got serious.

Elaine, Anders, Justice, and Nathaniel had traveled to Amaranthine to setup possible trade exchanges between the merchants there and the Keep. As they traveled the back roads of the market, an elven woman walked into their path.

"About time you showed up," she said, approaching Anders.

"Namaya? You're still here," he said in disbelief.

"I keep my promises," the elf said, implying something more. "Here, turns out you were right. The cache is here in Amaranthine." She handed him a piece of paper.

He read the note while questioning her. "It is? You found it?"

"I did," she said none too pleased. "What you do with the information is up to you. I, for one, am done dealing with mages."

Elaine cleared her throat behind him, but they both seemed to ignore her.

Anders seemed a bit taken aback by her comment, considering their history together. "I guess I should thank you…"

"Damned right you should. You get caught, Anders, I'm not helping you again. That's all I'm saying." Namaya turned to leave, and then stepped back to Elaine. "Be careful. Don't let him sweet talk you into his bed. He'll do nothing but take advantage of you."

Elaine lowered her gaze to the elf, standing defiant and showing her agitation. "It is I who takes advantage of him. Now run along before this mage gets really upset."

Namaya didn't say another word as she turned on her heels and left.

Anders shook his head. "I suppose that requires some explanation."

"Nah," Elaine said as she rolled her eyes. "Not at all, don't be silly!"

"I am fluent in sarcasm," he said giving her the eyes. "You can't fool me!"

Elaine stared at him and crossed her arms, waiting for his explanation.

"Namaya is… a friend. Last time I escaped from the Tower, I asked her to look into some things."

"Describe what kind of 'friend' she is to you Anders."

"My my, is the Warden Commander jealous?" he asked playfully.

Justice groaned behind them. "I fail to see the purpose of this discussion."

Elaine and Anders ignored him, and Nathaniel decided it was best to leave them alone. "Come Justice, let's see if we can find the weapon smith."

Justice looked at Nathaniel curiously. "My weapon is of fine make, I do not need another."

"I'm sure someone somewhere does," Nathaniel said, taking Justice by the arm and leading him away from the mages.

Anders sat on a nearby wooden fence. "Is this the part where we discuss our past lovers? I've been waiting for the juicy details of your time outside the Circle."

Elaine sighed, realizing she did sound like the jealous girlfriend. "No, I guess we don't have to go there. It's just…not every day we run into a past love."

Anders smiled at her. "She wasn't a love, necessarily, just a lover. Namaya escaped the Dalish when I stumbled into their camp. She came with me here."

Elaine thought on what he'd said. "So you two just slept together, nothing more? She seems jaded."

"Well, it wasn't my doing," Anders said. "Yes, we had sex, but it was just convenient. We were both on the run and alone together, it happens. Certainly you had experiences like that on your travels?"

Elaine thought about it. "I've been with others since you, yes, but my intentions were clear with all of them. That woman didn't seem to know she was 'convenient.'"

"Hmm," Anders said. "No, I suppose not."

"And what of me?" Elaine asked quietly. "Am I convenient as well?"

"Am I?" Anders studied her eyes for an answer. "You just told her that you're taking advantage of me. Is that true? Or is there more to it than that?"

Elaine shifted uncomfortably at the sudden line of questioning. It was a rare moment for the two of them, having a serious discussion, and even rarer that it was about their relationship. What had it been to her? Was it just sexual? He certainly filled the void she felt whenever they were apart, but what did that mean?

"I love it when your brows get all scrunchy like that," he said, distracting her thoughts. "It's clear you can't give me an answer, and that's fine. I'll go first." He stood up and filled the gap between them, placing his hand on her cheek. "Since the first moment I saw you, I felt something between us. I missed it when we were apart. I followed you the day you left with the Warden, to make sure you were alright. What that means, I don't exactly know. But I do know it's more than a convenience being with you."

Elaine felt the warmth of his skin on her face, and it seemed things were taking a new direction between them. She wasn't sure what it was, given this confession from him, but she offered a confession of her own. "I spent my time away from you trying to find someone that made me feel as you did," she said. She opened her pouch that contained her lyrium potions and removed the red ribbon necklace with his earring. "I wore this until the day we went after the Archdemon. I only took it off because I was afraid something would happen to it. I've kept it with me every day since you left it for me. I don't think that falls under convenience either."

Anders leaned in to kiss her then, finding her tongue with his own. It was different than any other time they had kissed, as there was a caring and longing there she hadn't felt before. She wrapped her arms around his neck and lost herself in the feel of him, the sweet taste of his mouth and the lingering scent of his closeness.

They stood there for some time until they were interrupted by Nathaniel, who gently reminded the Commander of where they were. Elaine was thankful Justice had remained silent at their display of affection.

"So," Elaine said trying to nonchalantly wipe her lips and put the earring securely away. "You said you were searching for a cache of some kind?"

Anders smiled at her, a new sparkle in his eye, as he explained, "During the Blight, the Templars moved their store of phylacteries to Amaranthine for safety. My phylactery is among them, Namaya learned. So long as the Templars have that sample of my blood, they can find me. I need to destroy it."

"But you're a Grey Warden now," Elaine said. "They should have no need to find you."

Anders rolled his eyes. "What's to stop the Chantry from deciding mages in the Grey Wardens are apostates, too? I want to be sure they can't ever find me again. Ever."

"What is this phylactery you speak of?" Justice asked, confused.

Elaine explained. "When a mage is captured or brought to the Circle, the Templars take a sample of your blood so they can track you down should you ever escape."

"You mean you were prisoners?" Justice asked.

Elaine nodded. "It's the way it is for us here in the mortal realm."

"They would lock you up because of an ability you were born with?"

Elaine laughed. "A lengthy discussion for another time Justice, but yes, basically."

"I see no justice in that," he muttered, and Elaine had to agree with him.