The Goddess Crystal

Chapter 20: Coming To Terms

The weather's been agreeing with me lately. As Skye and I make our ways to the funeral, the sky is a dark gray, oppressive and promising rain. There's barley any wind, but when there is, it's cold and stiff.

At the far edge of Vesta's farm, we turn right, towards old man Galen's house. His wife, Nina, passed a while back. She was nice. Galen visits her grave every day.

But we don't go to Galen's home; instead of turning right again once we walk down the hill, we turn left. The field is barren, with only a sign marking it as a future construction site. A small, lonely hot spring lays empty near it, next to a single gravestone.

No one's here.

I look at Skye. "Where's everybody?"

Skye simply shakes his head, staying silent.

No one will be coming. Even in death, Leith has no one.

I start to tear up at the unfair cruelty of it all. Not even Carter, the priest from Mineral Town, will be coming. He isn't even buried next to his mother.

We stop in front of the gravestone, and a single drop of rain lands on the rock. Another on my shoulder, and then another. I drop to the ground and sit, ignoring the damp earth that seeps into my jeans and the cloying smell of rotting leaves.

Skye remains standing. After a moment, he leans down and drops something on the freshly packed earth. I keep my head bowed and don't bother looking to see what it is. "I can leave."

I look up at him. "You don't have to."

Skye sighs and walks a few feet away. "I'll leave if you want me to."

I bite my lip and bow my head again. "Thanks."

I hear him walk away and then I'm left alone with my thoughts. I play with my fingers and take a deep breath. A light rain begins to fall. "Leith."

Silence reigns. What did I expect? An answer?

…I really did.

"Leith, I hate you and love you. I looked forward to seeing you at the end of the day, back in school. I hated the virus that killed you."

I sigh in agitation. "Well, I know it didn't kill you—it's just...it killed a bit of your innocence, didn't it? Just like when you found out about your mom."

I laugh bitterly. "Look at me, talking to a dead person." I sigh. "Your mom was a wonderful person. She loved you. So, so much. You know what her last words were? 'Tell him about me', she said. 'Don't let him forget about how much I love him'.

"I should've told you everything about her when you were still here. How scared she was. She wasn't scared of them. She was scared of what they were going to do to you.

"You didn't remember much of what happened, probably. I gave you a hug, Leith—" I start choking. "I didn't. I didn't! I never gave you that hug. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."

I slam a clenched fist onto the ground, sniffling, and then yelp. Something sharp pricked me. When I look, I see what Skye dropped.

His Goddess Gem.

Not Leith's, the one that pulsed constantly black and orange. But Skye's own Gem, the one he salvaged from the wreck of his father's ring.

Memories come back. The night at the Bar, the Pond, the farm; me, captive; the ring, stolen; Skye and I shot, Skye almost dying. The ring shattering.

I see a faint scratch in the smoothness of the Gem. When I absently run a finger over the blemish, I realize it isn't one. It's an etching, a crest, carved into it. A crest with forget-me-nots.

Back in school, at that assembly, when Blackthorn made that announcement that started it all and I made that connection that set everything on fire.

I beat the heel of my hand onto my forehead. Stop thinking about it. You're here for Leith, not for Skye.

But, in reality, they couldn't have been more intertwined. The day I met Skye, really met him, was the day I met Leith's mother. Their personalities, their colorings, are polar opposites.

One, light, carefree, kind, generous. The other, dark, dangerous, jealous. Innocent.

Black often means evil, despair, loneliness to people. But it can mean the comfort that the night brings, or a warm blanket. Red is the color of blood, of lust. But it is the color of love, of life. We look too often for all the bad in something and not for the good. What do you think of when you see black or red? I see Leith.

I tighten my hold on the Gem. Then let go, placing it back where it was, but this time I push it into the earth so it sticks up, like a little soldier.

"I hated you. For a while, I really did. When you asked me to marry you, or when you forced Skye to help you...I don't know if I can get over that. But I don't want to hate you."

I laugh humorlessly. "Do you remember how you always called me 'lady'? Well, of course you don't, but you still did that. I told you not to call me that, to just call me Jill."

I shake my head, smiling slightly. "You never did. Even now, you called me Jillian for the longest time. Even when I told you not to.

"Do you know why I hate being called anything else besides Jill? When I was younger, I didn't have much of a backbone. Hard to imagine, huh? Kids used to pick on me endlessly. 'Pony', they called me. 'Weirdo'. 'Freak'. Told me I was ugly, that I couldn't sing, couldn't dance, couldn't do anything right. Then, right after sixth grade, guys start hitting on me. 'No,' I said, 'No way. Leave. Me. Alone.' And I hated them all. You can't just do that, tell someone they're ugly and turn around and call them hot all of a sudden. You can't.

"All that name calling, all the pickup lines...I guess I never grew out of hating it. And even though Jillian is actually my real name, it's not what I grew up hearing. It's what my parents started calling me once I got into trouble so often they decided to stay angry all the time."

I sigh and tuck my legs under me. "Even when Skye called me Maiden or Beautiful, all I my subconscious could think of was that. So I did what I did back then: I lashed out. Thank the Goddess for patience. We all need it."

I get to my feet, feeling strangely at peace. I don't bother dusting off my jeans; they're ruined, caked with mud and soaked from the rain. I glance wearily to where Skye was before. I don't see him. So I begin walking towards Galen's house, saying a silent farewell to Leith. I spot Skye quickly; he stands next to Nina's grave, and Galen is with him.

"See, what did I tell you?" Galen says as I walk up. When I look at Skye quizzically, he just smiles.

"I wanted to go over when you started to cry. Galen said to wait it out."

Galen raps Skye on the shin with his cane. "That's Mr. Galen to you, boy." He turns to me, smiling. "Nina would've liked to have been here. You know how she was, always trying to help people."

I smile back. "Yeah. I'll bring her some flowers sometime. Sound good?"

Galen laughs. "I think she'd like that. Now, off you two go. Don't let an old timer like me to keep you." He nudges us, and we laugh and say good-bye.

Once we're a decent distance away, Skye winces. "...Ow. That actually hurt."

"I was waiting for that." I catch Skye staring at me oddly from the corner of my eye. "What?"

He sighs and smiles, tucking an arm around me and squeezing. "I'm just glad you sound happier."

Tempest Bound: Blarg it all, it's been a while since I've updated. Sorry if you guys got a whole ton of e-mails from yours truly, but I wrote a lot this weekend and uploaded at the same time. Namely, yesterday. Feedback is appreciated!