Anders had avoided her for several days since the episode in the dungeon. He had left with Justice in the early mornings to go to Amaranthine and returned late in the evening. Elaine had her own battles to contend with; taking the others to fight darkspawn that kept entering the area, or to handle the endless political nonsense that was thrown her way.

She had heard from Nathaniel that Justice and Anders were meeting with Kristoff's widow, trying to figure out ways to get his body back to her to provide her with closure. Elaine tried not to let it bother her that they hadn't come to her with the dilemma, but she knew she had hurt Anders, so she wanted to give him some space. It wasn't until Justice came to her office one night that she found out the extent of his growing friendship with Anders.

"Commander, may I speak to you for a moment?" he had asked when she looked up from her ever growing stack of paperwork.

"Of course Justice. Please, have a seat." Elaine hated to admit it, but Justice was becoming difficult to interact with; the body he inhabited was deteriorating as any normal corpse would. She shifted uncomfortably as he looked at her to speak, his eyes sinking further into his skull.

"I understand there is to be war soon between us and this broodmother," Justice began.

Elaine nodded. "It seems that way, given all the information we've gathered. She's continued to throw her Disciples at me and I've destroyed them, so it's only a matter of time, I fear, before she herself attacks."

Justice agreed. "I have heard we are aware of her location, and I question why we are not going after her ourselves."

"It's not that simple," Elaine said. "Look around Justice; we don't exactly have the manpower to go into her lair and confront her. We would be leaving the Keep and the city wide open for an attack should I launch an assault on her now. I have sent word to Denerim. Once the other Wardens come, then we will go after her."

Justice thought on this a moment. "This one I occupy has many battle plans within his memories. I would appreciate being given input into strategy when the time comes."

"Of course Justice, I will seek the input of everyone here before making any decision."

Justice seemed to approve of this statement, and then changed the subject. "There is another matter I wish to discuss with you."

Elaine sat back. "I'm all ears Justice. What's on your mind?"

"This body is… not preserving as well as we had thought it might," he began.

Elaine shook her head. "No, it seems not. How long can you survive as you are now?"

Justice obviously didn't know. "I imagine I could remain within forever, until there is nothing but muscle and bone. But I do not wish others to continue to suffer. I know my appearance is offensive, and this one's wife deserves to bury her husband."

Elaine spoke honestly. "I am aware you and Anders have visited her. I admit I was a bit hurt I wasn't included in this sooner."

An odd sight to see a half corpse half spirit look apologetic, but it was there on his face. "I did wish to include you sooner Commander. It was Anders who had difficulty coming to you."

Elaine sighed. "Yes, well, he has done a great job avoiding me."

"May I speak openly Commander?"

"Of course Justice, I wish it no other way."

"I do not understand relationships between humans, as they seem more a distraction than productive. Yet I have spent a considerable amount of time with Anders and consider him a friend, which in itself is a relationship, is it not?"

Elaine smiled. "It is Justice. Friendships are important relationships as well. I'm glad you understand that."

"I am beginning to. As his friend I also see that he is confused about whatever has transpired between you two."

"It's a misunderstanding Justice, nothing more. I care for Anders a great deal and very much dislike this distance between us right now, but he is confused because he hasn't sought answers from me."

Justice took a moment to comprehend what she was saying. "Then he is being a fool coming to conclusions without facts?"

Elaine laughed. "Exactly. See, you're beginning to understand humans better than you think."

"I understand I do not wish to die," he said suddenly, shocking Elaine. "I have enjoyed my time among humans and do not wish it to end."

"Do you think you'll die? I always thought you'd return to the Fade."

"I do not feel that connection as I once did," he explained. "I believe I simply may no longer exist should something happen. I have spoken with Anders about this, and he has a theory."

Elaine didn't like the sound of this. "A theory? What kind of theory?"

"He believes I may be able to leave this body and inhabit another, living host."

Elaine disagreed. "You inhabit a corpse now Justice, the body of one that has already moved on. If you join with a living host, what happens to that person? They are still alive, I don't see how that would work."

"We believe my spirit would remain within that person, but I would not be as I am now. I would exist within them but not control them."

Elaine shook her head. "Isn't that the same way demons possess mages?"

Justice stood up angry. "I am no demon," he yelled at her.

Elaine took his hand in hers. "I didn't say you were Justice, calm down, please." He instantly calmed at her words and sat back down, apologizing for his outburst. "When a demon possesses a mage, it is gains complete control, and is able to force him or her to do things they wouldn't normally do," Elaine explained. "Would you not also have that ability?"

"I would not wish to control anyone. I only wish to remain in this realm."

"Of course you'd have to find a willing host as well," Elaine thought out loud. "There's so many unknown factors to this. I admit it's a nice idea to think you'd remain with us, but we'd have to do some research first, make sure it could even be done."

Justice studied her. "You would help in this?"

Elaine looked surprised. "Why wouldn't I? I would like to think we are friends, as well Justice. I would do whatever was in my power to do in order to help you."

"I am thankful to hear that," he said. "Because I have a willing host, and I do not wish any harm to come to him should we join. I would like to try soon, to bring this body to Aura so she may move on."

Elaine questioned him. "You have found a volunteer to take you in? Who?"

"Have you completely lost your mind?" Elaine yelled barging into Anders room.

He looked up from the journal he was writing in and saw the anger on her face. He closed the book with a heavy sigh. "I take it Justice has spoken to you?"

Elaine began to pace. "He spoke to me. He told me an incredible story about joining with a willing host, someone who will rescue him from the rotting corpse he's in. Imagine my surprise when he told me who it was." Her face was red, frustration building within. "Is this because of me? Did I upset you so much that you'd risk something like this just to get away from me?" The tears came next, as an unexplained sadness overwhelmed her. "Why Anders? Please tell me why you would do this?"

Anders stood up and held her to stop her from moving. "Elaine, calm down, I have done nothing yet." He took her hand and led her to the bed, wiping the tears from her face. "This isn't about you," he tried to explain. "It's about helping a friend, finally doing something for someone other than myself."

She shook her head. "You can't do this. It will change you, it will change everything!"

"I didn't think you cared," he said suddenly, with a bit more anger than he'd meant to.

Elaine felt as if he'd slapped her. His words stung, and the once always strong Warden Commander broke down.

Anders didn't know what to do for her except hold her. He put his arms around her and let her cry against his chest for what seemed like a lifetime, her pain destroying him inside. He knew she cared, he knew he shouldn't have suggested otherwise, but he reminded himself he was still hurt after their last conversation. "The last time we spoke," Anders said quietly, "you implied us, together, wasn't normal or even natural. What am I supposed to take away from that?"

The pain in his voice crushed her heart, and she knew she had to tell him. For the first time since it happened, she finally admitted it to herself and another. She looked up at him, eyes full of sorrow and pain, suffering and loss. "Alrik raped me," she whispered the words, then put her head down again in shame.

Anders was shocked, not expecting this confession from her. He stroked her hair as she continued to cry but could find no words to comfort her. His own body trembled with emotion, sadness for her, hatred toward the Templar, realization as he remembered the look on her face in the warehouse when Alrik held her against the wall. He knew these things happened in the Tower but it was never spoken of, and this was the first time that anyone had ever admitted it to him. The woman he could now say he loved, hurt by something like this, and he had no idea what to do for her.

"He will pay for this," Anders said holding her tightly, wishing he could take this pain from her. He replayed their last conversation in his mind, and now it all made sense. She felt she was damaged because of what Alrik had done. She felt it was wrong to enjoy the intimacy they shared because it was unconventional and sometimes forceful. He didn't know the details of what she had been through, yet she enjoyed a similar scenario when they were together; bondage, pain, torture, suffering. He could now understand why she thought she was damaged. He began to form a plan to prove to her otherwise, and help her to see how wrong she was about herself.

He would see to it that she never felt damaged again. And he would also see to it that Alrik never touch another mage.