Anders walked into the Commander's office and found her in her usual position; desk a mess of paperwork, her staff casually leaning against the wall, fruits in a bowl she nibbled on throughout the day, and the look of frustration in her eyes.
Attacks by the warring darkspawn were becoming more frequent, and they spent most of their nights now on patrol making sure the local farms and nobles estates around Amaranthine were safe. There was little time for talk or even intimacy as the nights bled into days and the battles came one after the other.
Repairs on the Keep were almost complete, the constant banging of stone echoing throughout the halls. It had become worse as the they neared completion; dust filled the rooms and settled on everything. With the Keep in construction chaos and the town filled with the enemies, it seemed they would never rest again.
Anders took it upon himself to make sure Elaine escaped for a little while. He held out his hand to her, which she took with a curious glance, and he led her out of her office and through the main hall. At the sight of her, Seneschal Varel began, "Oh good, Commander…" but Anders refused to let her stop, practically dragging her through the hall.
"The Warden-Commander is going out Seneschal, and will not be back until tomorrow," Anders informed him as they reached the front door.
"But Commander," Varel tried to argue as Anders opened the door and pushed Elaine through.
"Tomorrow, Varel" Anders said again as he closed the door behind him.
He took Elaine's hand again and they descended the stairs, walked through the front grounds, and out the gates.
"Where are we going Anders?" Elaine asked as they headed in a direction unfamiliar to her.
"To have some peace and quiet for a change," Anders said as they continued walking. "I will tell you nothing more, so don't bother to ask."
She smiled at this, not knowing where they were headed but thankful to be away from the chaos in the Keep. The sun warmed the air and the wind was refreshing on her face as she felt them get closer to the water. Anders led her south into the rich hills that surrounded the Hafter River, and they came upon a very large castle set into the trees.
Elaine gasped at the beauty of the area. Violet and yellow flowers trailed the stone walk to the castle's entrance, white and red roses adorned either side of the great doors. There were stone benches on either side of them and posts where she imagined guards should be in a place such as this. But there were no guards, and the castle held no activity save for the birds chirping in the overhead trees.
"Anders, what is this place?" she asked, whispering as if they'd get caught.
"This my dear, could be your new home," he said, opening the large front door and gesturing for her to walk inside.
Her breath was stolen from her yet again when she entered into the magnificent beauty of the main hall. Marble floors beneath her feet reflected the sun from the glass ceiling above them. Lavish furniture of velvet make lined the walls, clearly from some foreign and exotic places. Anders kicked his shoes off and told her to do the same, and the cold stone under her feet made her giggle. She stomped around a bit like a silly child, listening to the echo of her feet against the marble, and then looked at Anders with fascination shimmering in her eyes. "Really Anders, who's going arrive and attack us any minute for trespassing here?"
He smiled at her and leaned down to kiss her nose. "Welcome to the former estate of Bann Esmerelle. Due to her untimely tragic death caused by a conspiracy to kill the beautiful Warden-Commander, her castle and its lands are now property of the Grey Wardens."
Elaine smiled as she looked around the large room, hallways in every direction, and the huge staircase in front of them. "This is ours?"
"This is yours," he whispered as he squeezed her hand. "In your line of work you deserve to live somewhere as beautiful as you are."
She blushed at the compliment and took a moment to fully appreciate where she was. "I'm surprised none of the locals have come to loot the place yet."
Anders pulled her toward the stairs as they spoke. "There are guards that patrol the road leading here," he stated. "Although your guards are spread pretty thin, I may have asked for a few to keep an eye on the place for you."
She couldn't help the smile that remained on her face as they wandered the long staircase to the second floor. Large tapestries hung on the walls, unlit candles placed sporadically for evening use, and soft, plush carpeting lined the halls that they walked along barefoot. Anders continued to lead her down the hallway of the east wing; stone walls gave way to glass windows overlooking the woods and the river. They took a moment to enjoy the view, the sunlight kissing the tops of trees and nothing but green for many miles around them. In the distance she could see the Keep, which she pointed out to Anders, and he smiled at her as she stared in awe.
"I used to dream this is what a window in the Tower would reveal," she said as she took in the landscape. "Trees with a flowing river between them, sunlight streaming in and bouncing off the floors. This is an imagined dream turned reality."
"You deserve it, love," he said wrapping his arms around her as he pressed her back into his chest. She wrapped her hands around his arms and leaned against him as they gazed out into the world. A land filled with chaos and darkspawn, but none of its taint could be felt from up here.
"It's perfect," she whispered, now closing her eyes and enjoying the feel of his arms around her. She felt him rest his head on hers and knew he was no longer looking out the window, either. They stood there, lost in the moment together in such a beautiful setting, taking comfort in knowing that when they opened their eyes it would still be there.
Anders broke the silence a few minutes later. "Come, your surprise awaits," he said as he removed his arms from around her and grabbed her hand again. "I hope you like it," he said shyly as they approached the large door at the end of the hall.
She looked up at him before opening the door, curious eyes wondering what he was up to. She pushed the large wooden door open and stepped into the grand bedroom. Directly opposite the door on the far wall was a stone fireplace that had a cheerful fire already burning. The floor in front of them was white marble with a beautiful red velvet rug and red pillows near the fireplace.
To the right was a stone alcove with two windows and a large bed covered in yellow silk linens and white and yellow pillows. A blanket made of animal fur hung loosely on the side. Around the bed were floor to ceiling mirrors, reflecting the light of the sun into the large room, and Elaine blushed as she thought of being able to watch herself make love to Anders.
A table to the left of the fireplace had several glass bowls containing fruits and berries, nuts and grains. A sideboard held different types of cheeses and small pieces of meat. Two large pitchers of water and several bottles of wine sat next to four crystal glasses that projected rainbows on the walls from the suns rays.
Entering the room revealed the extended room to the left of them which had a large white tub big enough for two, or even three, and a large pulley and bucket to gather water from the main floor well. A rug made of some type of fur was in front of the tub, and several large towels hung on the walls.
Above the bed and the tub, the ceiling was made of glass; the sunlight shining through danced with the movement of trees that touched it. Elaine couldn't help but wonder what a beautiful sight it would be at night, with the moon and the stars above her.
It was clear to her that Anders had already been here, preparing the food and the fire and the tub was already filled of water. She turned to him and hugged him, burying her face in his chest as she ran her hands down his back.
"Thank you," she muffled into him as he put his arms around her as well, folding his hands behind her back. She looked up at him and smiled. "This is beyond anything that anyone has ever done for me."
"There is no one who deserves it more," he said kissing the top of her head, tickling his nose with her hair.
He made a quick maneuver and lifted her up, holding her back with one arm and her legs with another. She swung her arms around his neck. "Anders, what are you doing?"
"Carrying you to the bath of course," he said moving towards the tub.
She leaned her head back and laughed, kicking her feet in mock protest as he made his way across the large room to the bathtub. He set her on her feet and placed his hands over the water, allowing his magic to warm it. Elaine began removing her robes as he poured some oils into the water, and the sweet smell of lavender filled the room. He helped her out of her clothes, kissing her shoulder as her robes dropped to the floor, and untied the ribbon that held her hair. Anders held out his hand for her to hold as she stepped into the tub. He left her only briefly to bring a bowl of fruit closer, and then quickly removed his clothes and joined her in the warm water.
They spent the better part of the morning in the large tub, feeding each other fruits and washing each other thoroughly. They kept the water warm with their magic, relaxing into the warmth and rare contentment they felt in these surroundings. Elaine leaned back into him as she reclined between his legs, staring off into the endless sky above them, lost in the feel of his fingers sliding up and down her arm.
"I never want to leave," she said sighing, leaning her head back to look at him upside-down.
"You'll have to leave soon," he warned, holding up her hands. "You're turning into an old woman with these wrinkles!"
She splashed him with some water as she laughed, but knew he was right as she began to maneuver away from him. He got out first, extending a hand to her to help her. She shivered as the cold air hit her wet body and Anders grabbed a large towel and wrapped her up in it. He took one for himself and wrapped it around his waist, and they moved toward the fireplace to sit on the floor to warm up and dry off.
"Can you imagine living like this your entire life?" Elaine wondered out loud to him. "Not a care in the world, just relaxing and being at peace."
"Oh I don't know," he said rubbing her arms through the towel to warm her. "I suppose people like us would be bored after a while."
"People like us?" she inquired looking back at him for a moment. "What exactly are we like?"
"Fierce adventurers," he said narrowing his eyes at her looking completely serious. Her laughter filled the room as her soft eyes met his. "Or you know, a wanted apostate and a Grey Warden-Commander."
"Pft, details," she said turning away from him to look into the fire again. "Besides, you're not wanted anymore, well, except by me," she said flirtatiously.
"Is that so?" he asked leaning into her to smell the sweet scent of her skin after the bath.
"I think you know that's so," Elaine stated as she leaned forward to get closer to the fire. He began rubbing her back as she continued. "I have never felt like this toward anyone, Anders." He remained silent allowing her to gather the thoughts in her head. "It's like… it's always been you. Since the first night we were together, I spent so much time trying to find that feeling again - the way I felt when I was with you." A long pause, and then finally the admission. "It frightens me," she whispered.
He stopped rubbing her back then and re-positioned himself to sit facing her. "What frightens you, love?" he asked, holding her hands as he leaned forward.
Elaine tried to put into words how she was feeling inside. "I don't really know," she said honestly. "That I may lose you? That I'm not completely whole because of what's happened in my past and that will somehow hurt us? That you may run away again…"
He didn't let her finish as he closed the gap between them and pressed his mouth to hers. He moved his tongue along her bottom lip and then took her top lip between his and gently kissed her. Bringing his hand under her chin, he addressed her concerns. "First, you will not lose me." Another kiss. "Second, I will not allow your past to hurt us or you ever again." He brought both hands to her cheeks. "And third, I am not going anywhere." He finished his statement with a final kiss before pulling away from her and sitting up straight, taking her hands in his once more.
He stood up and pulled her up with him and walked towards the bed. He positioned himself behind her in front of one of the large mirrors and allowed her to examine their reflection. Her small frame was in front of his and she watched as he removed the towel that hid her body. As it dropped to the floor, he spoke to her reflection. "What do you see when you look into that mirror?" he asked her.
Elaine took a long look at herself in front of him. She saw a scared little girl, frightened and broken over what had happened to her at the hands of Alrik. She saw guilt, shame, distrust, in her own reflection, and she looked away.
Anders brought a hand out in front of her and forced her to continue to look. "Don't look away love," he begged. "You must confront her." He asked her again. "What do you see?"
She hesitated at the difficult question, but answered him. "I see someone who couldn't defend herself. Someone who allowed herself to be hurt." Tears formed in her eyes, and they fell in the reflection.
"Go on," he encouraged behind her as he moved them closer to the mirror.
"I see weakness," Elaine continued.
"What else?" he gently prodded, waiting for the truth to finally come out.
"Hate," she said finally. The tears dried to anger. "I hate her," she said again as if confronting someone else in the mirror.
Anders wrapped his arms around her naked body, and looked at her in the mirror as she looked at herself. "Do you know what I see?"
Her reflection looked at his and she shook her head, having no idea what he really thought.
Anders smiled at her. "I see the young defiant girl I met when I was locked in a cell. She had courage enough to break the rules and feed her curiosity. I see the strength of a mage who endured the Harrowing, with the mental fortitude to fight off any and all demons that attempted to manipulate her." He brought her in closer, allowing her to lean against him as he continued to speak. "I see the woman I made love to before my final escape from the Tower, the one so beautiful it caused me to pause and take in the sight of her as she slept, stealing a moment even if it meant being caught again."
He turned her around so he could look into her eyes. "I see a powerful Grey Warden who gathered armies across Ferelden and defeated an Archdemon. Slaughterer of thousands of darkspawn, a hero to all she saved, myself included." Now he had tears in his eyes, and she felt herself weaken under his words. "I see my reason for living, for breathing every day. You are not that little girl anymore. You are not weak nor defenseless. You didn't allow anything to happen, and you certainly don't deserve anyone's hate, especially your own."
He turned her back around to look in the mirror again. "See yourself as I see you, as Ferelden sees you. A mighty warrior who lets nothing stand in her way, who has survived numerous battles with anything and everything. Someone who is stronger than she gives herself credit for... Elaine... Look at the woman I am hopelessly in love with."
Elaine stared at herself once more, and then towards the reflection of Anders in the mirror. His eyes were filled with love, admiration, adoration, and joy as he looked upon her naked form. Her gaze drifted from him to herself again, and she let his words repeat in her mind. She was only a child, and she had come a long way. She didn't deserve what happened to her, but she hadn't let it hold her back from making a difference in this world. He was right, she was a hero to many, and had done a lot of good things along the way that impacted so many different people.
Anders saw the slight change in her expression and continued. "You are not damaged, nor broken. And us together has never been unnatural. It is our mutual desire of being strong, being in charge, in control. We would not enjoy it if we did not trust each other; you would never allow it if you did not trust me. So trust me now, Elaine, when I tell you that whatever happened to you as a child was not your fault. Let go of that guilt and be whole again. Love yourself as I do, as the world does. You deserve no less."
To break the serious mood of their conversation, Elaine and Anders decided to have a little fun in the castle. First they went through each of the bedrooms, trying on some clothes and dancing in the main room as if they were attending a fancy party. They ransacked the kitchen of several delicious treats as the cupboards were still stocked well, and indulged in the wine Anders had brought with him. Elaine found her way to the family vault and began trying on some of Bann Esmerelle's jewelry, and Anders mocked her for getting all girly again.
She playfully teased him, chasing him through the halls, echoes of their laughter filling the castle. All thoughts of duty and darkspawn were set aside, and they had an amazing day together.
The sunset left a chill in the air, forcing them to retreat back to the bedroom. Anders relit the fire that had died down in the fireplace and Elaine began lighting the candles along the walls. The setting sun filled the room with beautiful shades of orange and purple, and Elaine lay on the bed face up, looking up through the glass ceiling.
"This is absolutely beautiful," she said in awe at the colors forming in the sky.
Anders looked up from poking the fire and saw Elaine laying there on the bed. "Yes, it is," he said not looking away from her, taking in the sight of her. Her hair was wild and free, sprayed out around her head on the bed. The rise and fall of her chest brought on a stir between his legs. She lifted her head to meet his gaze, and her smile filled his heart.
He walked over to the bed and lay next to her, elbow on the bed holding his head as he looked at her. With his free hand he caressed her cheek and returned her smile. "You are absolutely beautiful. I can not imagine why I am so lucky to be here with you at this very moment."
She closed her eyes and pressed her face into his hand, bringing her own up to stroke his arm. She turned on her side pushing her back into him and wrapped his arm around her. "I like how we fit like this," she said. "Like we were made for each other."
He leaned down and kissed her head, pulling her closer to him. "I couldn't agree more," he said burying his face in her hair. His lips found her ear and he began kissing it, his breath on her bringing pleasant bumps to her skin. She pushed her rear against him, feeling the growing need of him. A soft moan escaped her as his lips found her neck below her ear, kissing and sucking softly.
She allowed him to explore her neck for a while, his hand reaching in front of her and rubbing her breast through the cloth that covered her body. She squirmed at his touch, feeling the warmth begin between her legs as her need for him grew as well. Elaine looked in one of the mirrors in front of them, watching his expression as he was lost in the pleasure of kissing her, and she smiled to her reflection, feeling love for the both of them.
He felt her shift and peered over her shoulder, seeing their reflection together. He smiled as she did, turning her head so he could kiss her cheek. Her mouth opened slightly, and she stared at his reflection, with warmth in her eyes. "I love you," she said in the mirror as he looked on.
His expression changed then, hearing those words from her for the first time; it both startled and touched him in a way he would never be able to explain to anyone. He buried his head in her shoulder, letting those words linger in the air, afraid if he said anything she'd realize her words were a mistake.
Elaine allowed him to rest on her for a moment before turning to look at him directly. "I love you Anders," she said again, looking into his brown eyes, stroking his face with the back of her hand. His lips parted to respond but she leaned into him and kissed him, not allowing him to say anything, as she poured all the love she had for him into the kiss.
Anders had never felt her like this, in all the times they had ever been close. Her lips were soft, gentle, the sweet taste of wine invaded his mouth with her tongue as she moved it towards his. He felt warmth within, tenderness, and an overwhelming need from her to show him how she truly felt. He ran his hand through her hair and brought her even closer, allowing his mouth to show her as well what she really meant to him.
Elaine broke away for a moment, leapt off the bed and stood in front of him. She quickly removed the borrowed gown she was wearing, and held a hand out for him to take. Anders accepted as she pulled him to his feet, helping him out of his clothes. When they were free of all barriers between them, Anders bent his head down again and found her lips once more, pulling her up toward him and bringing her back to the bed.
He brought her down with him as he lay on his back, refusing to part from her mouth, as they fell onto the soft fur blanket. She re-positioned herself so she was sitting on top of him, her full breasts flush with his chest as she licked his tongue with her own. He could feel the heat between her legs on his stomach, and the very thought of being within her made him hard with desire.
Anders parted from her swollen lips and looked into her eyes. "I love you Elaine," he responded finally, bringing his hands up to her breasts and kneading them. He explored every inch of her torso with his hands, allowing magic to flow through them and infuse her with warmth. She continued to look into his eyes, smiling, as she reached behind her and began stroking his hardness, and his head tilted back with a groan. She extended her legs and moved her body directly over his as she slid her hand up and down his shaft, and then slowly guided him into her hot, wet opening.
Anders dug his fingers into her flesh as she took him in, slowly at first, opening herself up to him, allowing her body to conform to his size. He reached for both her nipples, sitting up and teasing one with his mouth as he pinched the other between his thumb and finger. He felt the immediate response his touch inspired, as warm liquid slid down his cock, and she took the opportunity to settle further down on him, taking all of him within her.
He didn't have much control under her as she moved slowly up and down, and he leaned back in submission, allowing her to take charge. He turned his head to the side, moaning at the feel of himself within her. Elaine leaned down and kissed his exposed neck, quickening her pace slightly as he gasped in pleasure.
She turned to follow Anders gaze at the sight of them making love in the mirror. They caught each others' glances and she smiled as she watched her body move up and down on his. His fingers dug into her hips, supporting her as she moved with loving speed. He pushed himself up into her now, the sight of watching them in the mirror making him even harder within her core, and she arched her back with pleasure as he continued to fill her.
Elaine increased her speed, and he pulled her down to him so he could taste her sweet lips again. The change in her position allowed for new sensations for them both as he pushed up to meet her every time she went down. He kissed her warmly, passionately, as soft moans escaped her and she became frantic on top of him. She pressed down closer to him, the friction of their movements together bringing her to climax as well, and their rapid thrusts timed perfectly, which allowed them both the sweet release together. Elaine gasped in pleasure, tilting her head back as the effects of the orgasm shot through her body, and Anders gripped her tightly in response to his completion. The sweat glistened on her chest and forehead as he looked up at her, enjoying the satisfied look on her face.
He ran his hands down her back, allowing his healing magic to soften the muscles that had exhausted themselves from her being on top, and she collapsed on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close as she rested her head on him, lost in the rhythm of his heartbeat. Anders looked upward towards the now dark sky, watching the stars twinkle above.