She knew in an instant he loved her. The moment his energy combined with hers in the Fade, all of their feelings for each other became one. The intensity of how he felt, the desire and passion and pure love he had for her, washed over her like warmth from the sun. He had never loved another the same, she knew this to be fact, as their combined spirits could hold no deceit. She longed to remain like this forever, the purest and most honest sensation of knowing, without doubt, how someone could feel for you. She embraced him into her, welcomed him, enveloped him in a way two people had never joined before. He would love her for eternity, there was no question.

Now his hands were wrapped firmly around her throat. Her near lifeless eyes looked into his, but he was no longer the Anders she knew. A force within him guided his rough hands to keep pressure on her windpipe until she gasped for air. In and out of consciousness, she drifted from reality to the edges of death. Panic rose within her as she choked, clawing at his hands and drawing blood. She had called to Anders and he didn't respond, and Elaine knew he was lost to her - trapped within himself. A desperate cry, a plea for her life, she uttered the name of the only other being who could hold her so close to death. "Justice," she whispered.

A flash of recognition, an instance of clarity, his release was as swift as his attack. He jumped off her still body and stared at her with a cold vengeance. Elaine struggled to sit up, fighting the darkness that threatened to overwhelm her. Her raspy voice barely audible, she pleaded to the spirit before her. "Justice," she begged. "Let him go."

He stood before her, confusion and anger battling for dominance in his expression. He looked down at his hands, saw them through new eyes as they were touched by a glow that felt oddly like the Fade. He looked around the room, unfamiliar with his surroundings, and for a moment was about to flee.

A sudden hand on his forced him to remain. The feel of another, the oddest sensation, he studied it more closely as he knelt to her again. She squeezed it gently, having little energy to do much more, and repeated her earlier appeal. "You have to let him go," Elaine said softly, fighting the darkness that threatened to take her.

The softness of her touch, the sweetness of her voice, it pulled at the man that struggled within. Justice released her hand, but Anders held on, and through her touch he forced his way to the surface. Using her energy and love as a guide to finding himself again, Anders managed to break through. His eyes closed as he struggled internally to remain in control, and another weak squeeze from her hand steadied him. He opened his eyes to look at her, and she managed a soft smile. He reached out to her face and caressed her cheek; it was the last thing she remembered before darkness finally won.

It took Elaine several minutes to realize where she was. The soft bed beneath her, the warmth of the blanket that draped over her body, the smell of cedar and honey. She was back in her room, safely tucked in her bed, and she took a moment to appreciate being alive.

She forced her eyes to open, rubbing them with the back of her hand as sunlight filled the room. Her mouth was dry, and when she forced herself to swallow she realized there was no pain. She brought her hand to her throat searching for some discomfort, but found nothing.

A voice from the corner startled her. "Rise and shine sleepy head," it demanded.

In her disoriented state, she asked out loud, "Anders?"

"That's the thanks I get for standing vigil for three days," came the response.

Elaine blinked a few times to make her vision focus. When it did, she got her first look at the visitor. "Alistair?"

"Welcome back," he said as he walked over to her bed and sat on the edge next to her. "You had us all a bit scared, you know." She struggled to sit up and he helped her, handing her a glass of water from her night table. "Drink some of this," he insisted.

Elaine took several large sips to satisfy the desert in her mouth before putting the cup back down. "Wait," she said with sudden realization. "What are you doing here? And did you say three days?"

Alistair nodded. "Yup, three days you've been asleep. I'd like to say I was here the entire time, but that would be a lie."

"I thought you were headed back to Denerim?" she asked, trying to withhold the panic in her voice. Where was Morrigan? Or Anders?

"I was at least a half days out," he explained, "before I realized how completely and utterly stupid that would be of me given the task you were undertaking. And from the looks of things, I was right to return."

Elaine searched her memory for any clues as to what she was forgetting, but came up with nothing. "I don't know what happened," she admitted to him. "I remember we finished the ritual and then not much after that."

Alistair's normally kind expression was replaced by a bit of anger. "I arrived shortly before Nathaniel came carrying you into the Keep. Anders followed behind him, neither one said a word. You had no physical injuries that we could see, but you were still out cold."

Elaine waited for mention of Morrigan, but when it didn't come she didn't bring it up. If Morrigan had known Alistair had returned, she would've fled. Elaine hoped her friend was alright after remembering how Anders' spell had slammed her against the wall. "Where's Anders?" she asked wanting to find him and fill in the gaps of her memory.

Alistair shifted uncomfortably, and Elaine felt like she had been punched in the stomach. She knew by his expression that he had bad news for her. She closed her eyes when he took her hand, fear overwhelming her. Had something gone so terribly wrong that he did not survive?

"He left," Alistair answered softly. "Yesterday."

Elaine released the breath she was holding. Gone, but not dead. It was progress. "Left to go where?" she asked. "When will he be back?"

Alistair squeezed her hand. "He's not coming back Elaine. Anders has left for good."

She laughed at him, suddenly realizing he had to be joking with her. "Anders wouldn't leave, especially while I wasn't awake to argue with him. Seriously, when is he coming back?"

Alistair stood and walked over to her dresser, retrieving a folded piece of paper. "He left this for you," Alistair explained as he handed the letter to her. "He asked that I give it to you and that I take you back to Denerim with me."

Elaine shook her head, holding the letter and recognizing Anders' writing, but did not believing a word she was hearing. "Go to Denerim? Why in the Maker's name would I go to Denerim? No, we belong here, we have plans. We are to move into the castle next week and begin work on the city the week after that…"

"Elaine," Alistair said her name firmly to snap her out of her denial. "Read the letter. I will return later to check on you."

She watched him as he left her alone and wondered silently what game they were playing with her. Anders wouldn't leave, not after everything… No, she refused to believe it. Even as his own words were presented before her:

I am a coward, I have no shame in admitting it. I would not be able to face you after what happened, knowing what I am now capable of. That I could ever hurt you as I did, that I almost killed you…

I didn't know what would happen. I figured a willing host, a friend; it had to be better than haunting some corpse. But he is no longer my friend Justice. He is a force of vengeance. And he has no grasp of mercy. I must take my leave of you my love. I must find a way to control what is happening to me, inside me. I can not put you in danger again, I will not.

I would rather die than have any more pain come to you at my hands.

Please do not hate me love, I wouldn't be able to bear it. Know I must do this for you, for us, and know once I have Justice under control I will return to you. Until that time you must leave Amaranthine, be somewhere safe that I am unaware of. When the time is right, the Maker will bring us together again.

I love you. I shall never love another as long as there is breath within me.

She felt as if a hole was suddenly created in her soul. A hurtful, empty place. An emptiness beyond mere words that seemingly screamed to be filled. As she lay back down in her bed, the letter falling from her hands, she struggled to breath. Loneliness crept inside her heart, a sudden realization she didn't have his arms within reach. Who would take away her pain and misery? The one who abandoned her is the only one who could save her.

Tears threatened to surface, a lump in her throat, a reminder that she yet lived. But she didn't want to. In one weak, brief moment she didn't want to continue on with life if it meant a world without him by her side. Through gritted teeth the silent tears did come, burning her eyes and staining her cheeks. She gripped her pillow tightly, the one that still smelled of him, and gave herself over to grief.

Her heart was wounded to its core. More questions than answers built up within her mind. Forgotten dreams and broken promises. How could he? Why would he? They had agreed to do this together, how could he decide he had to do it on his own? How could he claim to love her and yet leave her? Her thoughts overwhelmed her, despair overtook her, and for a moment she was prepared to give herself to any demon that could bring Anders back to her.

Elaine never heard Alistair return, nor did she realize she was now clinging tightly to his chest. The hand softly running through her hair gave no comfort, and the old tears he wiped away from her face were immediately replaced with new ones. She heard no words that he said, only the beating of his heart as she pressed up against him.

Hours later the darkness took hold of her again, only this time she welcomed it.