Chapter 7: The Devil likes to come in Clutch

'What kind of chapter title is that?' Are you really judging me about what I want to call me chapter? 'Yes! They're supposed to summarize what the chapter is about, and you just give them a teaser for the end of it.' But it's funny. My naming scheme is to make funny chapter titles or make them a big reference. Check some of my older stuff if you don't believe me, Monika. 'I will…Why? Why would you do that?' Well, why not? '…I'm not going to bother. So…You had this done faster than your other chapters for this story.' Yeah. My mom mailed me a calligraphy pen and it got me motivated. 'You write with calligraphy?' Oh, hell no. My handwriting is too bad for that. No, I just like the sound of it when I used it. '…' I'm really getting tired of people judging me for that. Anyway, seeing as how I'm pretty sure we just wasted a bunch of your time, on with the show.

The never ending expanse that was the blue portal that my brother-in-law-to-be finally revealed an opening, spiting the two of us out. Unfortunately, one of us didn't have grace obtained from years of training and combat experience.

"Ow…" Monika whined. Honestly, I couldn't help but chuckle a bit. It was like looking into a mirror.

"Here, let me help you up." I said, lending her my hand. She took it and I pulled her onto her feet. "Well, that was not the way I wanted to introduce you to this world, but oh well."

"Ahaha…It's alright. This wasn't exactly something we could control."

"True. Now, time to figure out where the hell we are."

"How are we going to do that?"

"Everything has a story, Monika. Some may be boring or insignificant, but can be useful anyway. I'll just grab a pebble or something and see if I can't gleam the country we're in. We can go from there." Touching a rock on the ground, I pulled out the string that held its story and found that we were in Lowee.

"Lowee, huh? He didn't exactly drop us off close to home."

"Lowee? Is that like that game console."

"The Wii? Yeah. All the countries are puns."

"I saw that. The code comments have it stated quite blatantly. Honestly, they made it hard to miss."

"Code comments? What code?"

"The code for this world. When you said earlier that this world is like game, I got curious and decided to look."

"You haven't…" I don't want to call her out on something she didn't do, but I can't help but get worried. Especially if Histy found out.

"Done anything? No. After everything that happened because I changed things, I think I'm done playing God."

"Okay. So, we're somewhere in Lowee. Between my watch and where the sun is, Planeptune should be…that way." I pointed southwest. "Get ready for a long walk." I turned back to Monika just to see that she was gone. "Oh, God dammit." There was some trampled grass, and seeing as how that was the only lead I had, I followed. The makeshift path lead to a fairly large clearing. Monika was clearly visible at the center, given how long her hair was. Too bad that was the only thing you could see of her in the ocean of dogoos. They aren't really an issue for me after all this time, but for someone who counts as level one, she wasn't in a good way.

"How can something so soft hurt like this!?" Monika cried. Shooting one of the goo monsters that was fairly close to her with my revolver rewarded me with a sadistically satisfying scream from the teen.

"Their looks can be deceiving. It's better to just kill them before they can do…well, this. You made today that much more difficult, you know that?" Before she could respond, I called on Artemis' contract. With a bow in my hand, it took me almost seven minutes to dispatch the few hundred mobs. Normally it would have taken less time, but I had to be careful not to hit Monika. "There we go all taken care of. Monika, you really have to be more careful here in Gamindustri. If it doesn't look explicitly human, it'll probably want to kill you, and even then there is a chance that that human looking thing will want to give you a sudden case of death."

"I know that now." I got her up off her the ground and we made our way to Planeptune. I thought it would be funny to whistle Into the Woods as we walked. My walking companion was not amused. And, as is the par for the course, we ran into several groups of mobs on the way. Well, at least Monika got XP for it. "Wow…It's so beautiful…" She said as we entered the city.

"Yeah it is. So, seeing as how that took significantly longer than I wanted it to, we should go see Plutie first. You won't be able to do much without, well, being a person."

"Where and who is she?"

"See that building over there? The tall one towards the center of town?" I asked, pointing at the Basilicom.

"Yup."

"That's where she, my sister, lives. Up towards the top, at least. A good amount of the lower floors are offices and whatnot."

"That's kind of intimidating, to be honest, ahaha…"

"Don't incur her wrath, and you should be fine." The amazement on the girl's face as we walked through the city was entertaining. This must've been what I looked like when I was first here. We headed up the elevator after greeting the desk jockey. With a few raps on the wood, the door opened.

"Hello, Ste- Who is that?" Ah, shit. With the way Tehg wanted to avoid his, I was hoping to bypass my Histoire.

"Hey, Histy. This is Monika."

"Hello." Monika said, waving. "It's nice to meet you."

"Yes, it is indeed nice to meet someone who could do what I thought only I could. What were you doing, trying to modify the world?"

"I wasn't trying to modify anything! I was just trying to find out where we were. Tehg brought us here in the middle of a forest." The tiny fairy looked ready to snap.

"Histy, enough. After everything that's happened in the last twenty-four hours, she won't be doing whatever you think she will." I argued. Sometimes you really have to put your foot down with the stubborn little fairy. "Is Plutie around? I need her help with something."

"No. Johnathan convinced her to go somewhere with him. Why do you need her?"

"Well, I know that she made those documents for me-"

"That was me."

"Steven? Why is she talking in emoticons?"

"Oh, for fuck's sake!"

"Um?"

"He is the only one that cannot perceive that aspect of my speech." Histoire explained. "I should introduce myself. I am Histoire, the one who records the history of this world. I shall begin working on the documents the two of you need. While I do that, I suggest you go home. While you were gone, with Blanc's help, Cynthia found another temple."

"I was really hoping I'd have an excuse to not go home for a bit, but…Well, time to meet your mom-to-be, Monika."

"Okay!" The walk home, for me, was spent trying to figure out a sane sounding explanation about why there would be someone that looked to be our age coming to live with us for the foreseeable future. I was also simply bracing for impact. "This is your house?" She asked, looking at the front of our two story place.

"Yup. We got it a few years back after our first big exploration attempt. Been paid off the mortgage about six months ago. Now, for the moment of truth." The door was unlocked, which was expected given the fact that it was around five p.m. As I opened the door, I saw that there was three sets of shoes. Seeing as how one of those shoes is here often, it was safe to assume that Plutie had brought Johnny here after he finished that thing he brought her along for. "I'm home!"

"We're in the dining room!" Cynthia called back. I waved Monika in while pointing to the couch in the living room. Heading into the mentioned room showed that I was right. Plutie, Johnny and Cynthia were all at the table, empty plates sitting in front of them. "How was your time with my brother?"

"It was…an experience…One that we both agreed that we'd never like to go through again."

"It couldn't have been that bad." Johnny commented.

"Johnny, let's just say that I learned today that I'm not the only one that is a little bitch when it comes to the horror genre."

"Haha!" Leave it to Johnny to bust a gut at someone else's expense.

"Yeah…Well, he wanted to play a VN with me, you know, judge me for my choices. Turns out that even he didn't know it was really a horror game. Even weirder was the fact that one of the characters wanted to be a real girl. Made text files just to talk with us and everything."

"She didn't try to do anything, did she? It's be a shame if something had to have happened to my little brother." Plutie asked, voice promising no mercy.

"First of all, we've established that I am, in fact, the older of the two of us. Second, why don't you ask her yourself?" With the set up being the slam dunk that it was, Monika walked into the room, albeit slowly and shyly.

"H-Hi…I'm Monika. This is…This is really awkward…"

"So, a girl from a horror game decides to leave said game, and the first idea you have is to bring her home with you? Jesus Christ, G1, aren't you supposed to be the smart college student?" Johnny asked.

"Well, yeah…Everyone does things in their life that they regret, and most don't get the chance to make up for those decisions. If I threw her to the wind without helping her do just that, I felt like that would be something that would haunt me. Oh, and she'll be living with us for a while." Cynthia's gave snapped to me, leveling a glare as embers cackled at the edges of her eyes. Oh, here it comes.

"Why?" She asked with a coldness in her voice that contained the same fury as the look on her face.

"…You can't leave family on the street?" My response came out as pathetic at best. "Histy is working out the paperwork now."

"What?" All three questioned.

"Yup. Think, 'Tia, this could be a trial for when we actually have kids. Look, this whole situation is really complex, and honestly pretty fucked. Some details aren't even my place to share. I hope you can understand." Without a word, my fiancé stood up and walked a few laps around the brunette. Stopping to meet eyes with Monika, Cynthia just stared for a while.

"I did something like this a long time ago with Steven. Back then he had so much sadness and longing in his eyes, just like you do now. Your father had so much hurt and want for love in him that it'd be hard to miss. If he thinks that we can help you like we helped him, then I'm sure it's doable."

"Father…?"

"Welcome to the family." Cynthia said, wrapping her in a hug. Breaking the embrace the redhead turned to the CPU in the room. "Plutia, do you mind if she uses your room? We don't have a third bedroom."

"Of course she can use it. This way, anytime I stay over, I can just cuddle with my cute little niece." Monika's face turned red at the sadist's words, which was just an offer to take things further. "Maybe I'll just stay over tonight. How does that sound?" Plutie continued, brushing a hand down the side of the teen's face.

"Come on, Plutie, leave her alone. She's only been a person for…" I paused to look at my watch. "…Eight hours. Give her a few days before you start your teasing."

"Fine, fine, but I was serious about staying over. Neppy said something about having Souji over for the night."

"Just soundproof your room like I did." Johnny suggested.

"But I actually like spending time with everyone and Histy would never be able to wake me up."

"Fair points." Johnny conceded.

"Well, between getting Monika settled in and Souji dealing with the aftermath of Neptune, it looks like we won't be going to the temple tomorrow." Cynthia groaned, slumping down.

"Histy said that it'd take a few hours for all the paperwork to be dealt with. We could use that time to get her the necessities" I suggested.

"Could we go to the store, too? I get the feeling that you aren't prepared for a lifestyle choice of mine." Monika asked. "I'm a vegetarian."

"I'm not giving up my bacon." I stated, getting a slap to the head by Cynthia in response. "But getting meat substitutes for you isn't a problem. We should get more pots and pans while we're at it, so that we have enough to be making two meals at once.

"That's…the best I'm going to get. Okay, I'll take it." Monika replied, clearly exasperated by my unwillingness to not eat meat.

"So, while you go murder your wallet, I'm going home to hunker down. I've got enough in there to survive for a few days." Johnny said. "See ya." With that remark, he left.

"Hmhmm…Well then, I believe it's time to spoil my niece." Plutie said, hugging Monika from behind while giving me a look. This look was special, one that was used on special occasions. This look demanded my debit card and refused to take no for an answer.

"*sigh* Fine…Just, please be gentle on it." I said, handing the goddess the ability to bankrupt me. "I'm assuming this means that I'm not invited to come along."

"Steven, sweetie, I love you, but you know nothing about fashion. Your entire wardrobe, except for your explorer outfit and shorts for summer, is full of nothing but jeans and t-shirts. The most fashionable thing you own is that leather duster that Noire gave you for Christmas last year." Cynthia answered.

"That hurts, 'Tia. That really hurts."

"Sometimes the truth hurts." She said as she headed towards the door, putting on the white flats that matched her white sundress. "The documents I found are on the desk in the study if you want to read them. I also saved you a plate from dinner. It's in the microwave."

"Okay. See you three later." I went to the microwave and reheated the curry that was left for me. Taking the warm food into the study, I sat down at the desk and began reading. There were a few pictures of archeologists that had found the temple before. Nothing in the background was anything that I recognized, but that's mostly because my knowledge of mythology is mostly limited to Greek, Roman, a bit of Celtic, and Christianity. That last bit was the drunken ramblings of the Morning Star, but meh. Then there were the reports. Apparently, for years now, anyone who went in didn't come out. The files took me an hour to go through. Seeing as how I really didn't have anything to do, I figured that Histoire had enough of the paperwork done that I could start filling things out. But before that, a detour. I have things to put into motion.

"Whaddaya buyin'?" The Merchant asked, just like every other time anyone approached him.

"Not buying, more like…placing an order." Seeing as how my weapon normally isn't all that effective against mobs unless I coat the ends with hellfire or use one of my GCGs, I came up with an idea to compensate, and the man before me was the only one that I know for a fact that could get me what I needed. I handed him a piece of paper detailing what I wanted. "Think you can get your hands on it?"

"It'll take time, but I'll get it to ya."

"Thanks." Fishing out some cash, I handed it to him. "Here's a down payment." With that taken care of, it was time for some government bullshit.

"Hello, Steven." Histoire greeted after I knocked on the door.

"Hey Histy. So, have you gotten to the point where I need to start putting down my initials? I figured if I started now, things might flow a bit more smoothly."

"Actually, yes. Please follow me." What the tiny book girl lead me to could only be described as a mountain.

"Oh, what the actual hell…" I sighed. 'Hey! Leave my place out of this!'

'Not now, Lucy!'

"Steven? Are they talking to you?"

"Yeah. Most of them stay quiet, but Lucifer likes the sound of his own voice. How could you tell?"

"Even though I couldn't see the mark, seeing how it's on your back, your eyes turned red and you look up and to your right when talking with the gods. But, as to what you said earlier, this is what you wanted, no?" She asked, gaining a sinister glint to her eyes. Honestly, I couldn't tell if it was from what I had asked of her, or the rhythmic thumping I was trying my hardest to ignore.

"Yeah, but I get the feeling that this amount is just to spite me. Or venting due to those two."

"Why would I ever do that?" I can't tell what it is, but she is pissed at something. It took four hours to go through everything that I needed to fill out. I even had to call the girls a couple times to get some of the info about Monika, like her birthday.

"There, done." I sighed, slamming my head onto the table. "Can I go home now?"

"Of course. Here, these are the documents that you are to keep." The tiny fairy replied, handing me a few sheets of paper. There was a birth certificate and things like that. "Have a nice night."

"You too." I groaned. My wrist hurt from all the writing I had to do. The door at home was unlocked, and when I walked in the three were putting away groceries. There were a lot of bags on the couch that had the labels for various clothing stores on them.

"Welcome home. Can you put these on the upper shelves of the pantry?" Cynthia asked. Being five-ten made me pretty tall when compared to her five-three and that meant that I was the one to deal with anything requiring height of any kind.

"Sure. Just let me put away this birth certificate and proof of adoption." I answered, making my way to an empty spot to set them down.

"Our family is just getting bigger and bigger." Plutie commented, clearly thrilled with the idea.

"Yup." I replied, putting away the cleaning products that I would inevitably have to get back down. "By the way, with the way those two were going at it, Souji's going to be down for a few days."

"Going somewhere with a reputation like that with just two of us isn't a good idea." Cynthia said, unknowingly agreeing to what I was thinking.

"Could I come?" Monika asked. "I can't say I'm not interested in what my parents do."

"This temple is known for killing people." I deadpanned. "And what do we do? I mean, we fight monsters, but we do all this research. Does that makes us archeologists?"

"Stevie, focus. And I'd be more than willing to come along if it means she can." Plutie stated. "With three of us it shouldn't be a problem, and I could probably convince Johnny to come too."

"That could work. With him not being able to stay dead, he would make quite the meat wall. Hey Monika? Ever use a camera before?"

"No, but it shouldn't be too hard to learn."

"Awesome. With you having the camera, your mom can handle fights without worrying about losing our evidence."

"If you want him to come, call him now. Tomorrow morning will be too late." Cynthia suggested. "If he says no, tell him he can keep what he finds." Plutie made the call, and the prospect of money was indeed what drew him in. Well, that and she said to him that she might say yes the next time he asks. Don't know what that might be about, and frankly, I don't want to know. We took turns using the shower, seeing as how we only had one, and when I exited the bathroom, I was treated to a very entertaining sight.

"A-Uh-um…"

"Aw…What's wrong…?" Aw…Monika is getting her first real Plutie Teasin™. Plutie, in her pajamas that only consisted of underwear, sauntered up to her. "There's nothing wrong with looking. We ARE family." Plutie added, turning Monika's face towards her. Is that…That is blood dripping down her nose. Alright then.

"Remember when she did this to us?" Cynthia asked.

"Oh, I remember. At least she has some sort of clothing on this time." I grumble in response, not happy with the things those situations made my body react. Seeing as how it was getting late and we had to have an early start, I bid everyone goodnight and passed out on the bed.

"You look retarded." Johnny said, staring at my outfit for such occasions.

"And you're gonna get cut to hell as we go through the forest and shit." Johnny, in his infinite wisdom, decided to come in an outfit he said he wore often. This ensemble consisted of black and red sneakers, black shorts, a red muscle shirt with a black short sleeved hoodie over it, and a black hat with the Legend of Zelda Goddess symbol in red on it. The sword that had cursed him was hanging at his hip, attached to his belt by the sheath.

"Is now really the time for you to be fighting?" Monika asked.

"Yes, we certainly can't keep Blanny waiting." Plutie added. Cynthia stood between them, clad in HER explorer's getup. Plutie was wearing heavy duty boots (heels are implied), what I think are cargo pants, a long sleeved shirt, and a vest with a few pockets on it. I don't know why she did something like this because, you know, processors. Monika was in something similar, probably Plutie's doing, but hers was green and black while the CPU's was shades of purple and blue.

"Let's just get this over with. I want my loot." Well, it sounds like someone didn't have his morning coffee.

"You'll get it, just be patient." Turns out my wife-to-be also didn't get her coffee. The trip to the cold country was significantly shorter than the one yesterday. We never really met with Blanc, just a researcher from a sight they had set up near the temple. He led us to where we needed to go.

"Here we are. If you don't come back within seventy-two hours, you are presumed dead."

"What kind of shit-show did you talk me into?" Johnny asked us.

"The fun kind." 'Tia and I replied in union.

"You two are two peas in a pod." Johnny sighed, shaking his head. As we approached the entrance, several snaps of the camera could be heard.

"This is incredible! I couldn't have ever seen something like this in my game." Hm…Camera sounds gives me an idea.

"Hey, Johnny, can I ask you for a favor?"

"Depends."

"Could you take a picture of the four of us?"

"Oh. Yeah, sure." We gathered together, and I leaned down to drape my arms over Monika and Cynthia. Plutie was in-between them, positioned ever so slightly to her right so that my face wasn't blocked by her head. With the loud snap of the old school camera, our first family photo was taken. "There you go."

"Thank you." Cynthia said.

"Don't worry about it." With that taken care of, we moved on into the structure. The main building was a large hall and had multiple hallways attached to it. Some of them were lit while others were still dark. "Which do we go down first?"

"Probably one of the lit ones. I'm not exactly keen on going down any of the ones that haven't been travelled, given what this place does to people, and this way we can bring some bodies back." I led the way down the first one to my right. There were a few corpses at the end of the hallway, right before it made a sharp left turn. Leave it to me to trigger a trap. As we got closer, you could see where what looked like a blade had nearly cleaved them in two. So, what does my dumbass do? I get closer. As soon as I got within arm's reach of the bodies, one of the stone tiles I was standing on compressed.

"Ah hell…" I'm really glad that I had Artemis' gift. Had I not, I would probably end up joining the three. So, instead of dying, I had a nasty gash from right shoulder to left hip. The swinging axe blade swung back up, and I looked over my wound. It wasn't anything life-threatening, but I'll definitely have to see Ragland about it later.

"Are you okay?" Cynthia asked.

"I can deal. I did, however, make a problem for us."

"Not really." Plutie stated. I still find it weird that she used stuffed animals as her weapon when she wasn't using her processor units, but when she threw it at the ceiling and brought the trap crashing into the ground, I couldn't complain.

"Hot damn." Johnny whistled. "Honestly wasn't expecting that."

"When it comes to Plutie, you really cam't predict what she's going to do."

"I'll have to keep that in mind for later, Mom." Monika said, taking a picture of the ruined device along with the researchers. You could see the exact moment where her heart froze from being referred to as Mom. After we moved the bodies back to the main hall, we proceeded down that hallway. After several different turns, we found a section of hallway that wasn't lit. Each side had two rooms from what I could tell.

"What's the plan?" Johnny asked.

"Pick a room, I guess. Maybe stay in two teams. 'Tia and I should be on separate teams, seeing as how both of us can produce light of some kind." I suggested. "Monika, you stick close to someone. We don't know how many more traps there are."

"Okay." The split ups were kind of surprising. Johnny went with me while the girls stuck together.

"Give me a light?" Johnny asked, holding up a piece of wood.

"Yeah, I got ya." I replied, setting the tinder ablaze with the crimson flame. He went into the room right in front of us, leaving me to go down the hall to the next one. Inside, on a marble pillar, was a book of some kind, wrapped in blue leather. There was nothing on the book that indicated what it was or who wrote it. Besides that, there was a pile of gold coins, about 1400 of them. This was impressive, seeing as how we've never come close to this amount. Breaking open a vase revealed four gems. From the looks of it they were lapis lazuli, obsidian and two pearls. Each were worth about two and a half million credits, from what the internet said about precious stones in this world. I guess they aren't much of a thing. I pocketed all the loot before opening the book. There wasn't a discernable language in the thing. "Meh. Could still be worth something." A scream pierced the silence as the ground began to shake. "I…don't like the sound of that…" Investigating led to by far the weirdest experience I thought I'd see in a temple of the gods. There was an adult woman with waist long white hair and red eyes, and she was all up in Monika's personal space.

"My, what a cute Master that summoned me. I am Caster, but you can just call me Iri. It's nice to meet you."

"What is happening?" 'Seriously, do any of you know what this is?' The unanimous no, as well as Lucifer's remark about boning her, spoke volumes about the oddity this woman was.

"Well, we were looking in this room when Monika went ahead of us. As soon as she stepped into that circle, it lit up and the ground shook. Once all that stopped, here she was." Plutie explained. I gave the summoned woman a good look over. She was in heeled boots that stretched up to her mid-thigh. The dress she wore exposed her midriff and parts of the area between her neck and cleavage. A crown sat upon her head and she had this cloak thing covering her arms. The entire ensemble was white with gold accents.

"Um, Iri?" Monika asked while opening a screen like she looked at before.

"Yes, Master?"

"What are you? I'm looking at the world files and there's nothing about you there." Monika explained.

"I'm a Heroic Spirit, someone of old who became legendary. I…don't seem to be able to recall much of my past, just my name, Irisviel."

"It's nice to meet you, Iri. I'm Monika. Dad, why is there information that's missing in your files?"

"That's a story that is to be said in the comfort of our home, away from any eavesdroppers." I explained. "Iri, I'm assuming how since you called yourself Caster, you're a magic user. Is there any chance that you can find any traps as we move deeper into this place?"

"I'm sorry, but my magic only really works for making constructs."

"That's fine. Should've known it wouldn't be that easy. We'll just have to be careful, and we have an extra set of eyes now."

"We should find Johnny and move on. This place is creepy, and we haven't ran into any mobs yet." Cynthia said, taking charge. Johnny looked very satisfied when we regrouped. He probably found a lot of loot. Wait until he finds out that all of our profits from these trips are taxed. The hallway eventually opened up into a large room filled with bodies. The smears on the ground showed that they were dragged here.

"Well, this isn't ominous or anything." Johnny quipped. Many, if not all, of the corpses stood up, shambling around like the zombies they were after a purple magic circle shone down from the ceiling.

"You had to open your fucking mouth." I whined, whipping out my revolver. If Resident Evil has taught me anything, it's that my staff isn't going to be very helpful. I may have gotten stronger, but I can't remove a head from a torso with it. I should invest in something sharp and pointy. Caster pulled what looked like a wire from her cloak-sleeves and they formed themselves into the shapes of birds. Johnny unsheathed his sword, splitting it into its red and black halves, giving him two single edged blades. Monika hunkered down behind Caster, clearly staying out of the fight and Cynthia had her knife ready and waiting. Iri made the first move, sending the birds towards a severally decayed man. Right before impact they changed shape into broadswords, severing it in two from the t of the head down through the balls. Meanwhile, Johnny and Cynthia were a whirlwind of motion, cutting down anything that got near them and Plutie put her sword-whip to good use. I put a bullet in the skulls of any zombies that attempted to approach the two non-melee combatants. It took a while, but between all of us we were able to clear the room. Before we went any further, one of Caster's sword things launched at the ceiling, destroying parts of it. The face she was wearing was clearly one of anger.

"There. Now no one has to have that happen to them again." Caster really wasn't happy that there was two more rooms exactly like it. After many hours and many a video game reference made by me and Johnny, we made it to the innermost chamber.

"Finally." Johnny said, wiping his brow. "There's that damn crystal of yours."

"So, this allows you to make a contract with a god?" Iri asked.

"Yeah, though that comes after the last obstacle: the boss."

"We have to prepare, at least. It usually doesn't show up until after he tries to grab it." Cynthia added.

"Consider it done." Iri said cheerfully, revealing her hands to be full of her wires. The amount of creatures she made to form our trap was honestly really impressive.

"Okay, show time." I sighed, walking up to the pedestal and attempted to claim the contract crystal as my own. Unlike any of the other times we've done this, this one sank into the ground without any fanfare. "That's new." From the pit that formed rose a massive skeleton in the shape of a dragon. It stood on its hind legs and flared the wings on its back, letting out a roar that something at its status shouldn't physically be able to do. Johnny reconnected his swords before taking a mighty swing at it. A bone on its leg cracked a little bit before it swiped a claw at him. The bone weapon cleaved right through. But he got right back up. I still haven't figured out if I'm jealous of that or not. The beast wasn't fazed in the slightest, continuing its assault.

"Hellfire Bomb!" I called out, triggering the skill I finally gave a name. The bullet impacted and detonated, taking an arm out of the equation. Plutie, when she wasn't attacking with a whip or skill, was keeping the three of us who could die alive.

"Steven, why aren't you using your GCG!?" Cynthia yelled.

"It's already dead, so Orcus' wouldn't work, my bullets aren't doing anything so why would arrows, Lucifer's just doesn't work, and Anansi's abilities don't help in such an empty room!" During my explanation, I never noticed that the dragon had gotten close to me. "Oh." Pain, yay! I now sported four large gashes that I had to see Ragland about. The three diagonal slashes crisscrossed the one from earlier.

"Caster, help him!" Monika yelled. I could see one of Iri's creations flying at me, grabbing on, and dragging me over.

"Creation magic may be my forte, but I know some healing too." She explained, probably more to Monika than to me, before placing a hand on me. Patched up well enough to move, I was up and in the fight once more. My hits didn't do much in comparison to the three blade users. I guess the thing identified Cynthia as the primary threat and went after her. The wounds she inflicted did scorch the bones, after all. Its attacks were relentless, giving her no time to counter or activate her DGU ability. Her health bar showed that she couldn't take any more of this.

'Alright, enough is enough! Lucifer, I don't give a damn anymore! I'm taking your power by force!'

'Good! Go ahead! I've been waiting for you to set this world on fire!' The anger I felt at that moment was strong, and clearly not entirely mine. Between you and me, I'm pretty sure he's taken a liking to 'Tia.

"Lucifer!" The fire that Lucifer's contract granted me shot up from underneath me. Something felt weird almost immediately. Turning my head, I saw that I had two black feathered wings suspending me in the air. Instead of the staff and it's variations that I normally used, I had a sword. The blade was longer than my arm, shone of silver, and was coated in the crimson flames I'd come to know and love. Looking myself over I saw that I was in armor of similar make.

"Time to take you down." I stated. 'Lucy? Why do I feel weird, and why is my voice two-toned?'

'Well, our contract is a bit different than the others, seeing as how I'm not an actual god and I'm stuck in the cage. You, well, are me. At least for a while. And like everything else, it comes with a downside.'

'And that is?'

'How much do you like your soul?'

'Quite a bit.'

'Well, the longer we do this, the more it gets eaten away at.'

'Oh…I'll make this quick, then.' With the sword of the first fallen in hand, I cleaved the offending appendage that held my fiancé to the ground clean off. The joint of the shoulder looked like it had melted.

"Steven?"

"Hey. Looks like you aren't the only one with wings anymore."

"I noticed."

"You got a plan, G1?" Johnny asked.

"Um, not really. Swords aren't exactly my thing, although swish, swish, stab shouldn't be too hard."

*In the Throne of Heroes*

A tan man in red and black narrows his eyes. Something someone said had perturbed him, yet he was alone on his hill of swords. A blonde woman in blue stood up straight from her place underneath a tree, drawing her blade.

"This will not go unpunished, I swear it."

*With our heroes*

"That's the dumbest reference you've made." My fellow earthling replied.

"It's better than no plan at all." Plutie retorted.

"I guess. Come on! Let's go!" He yelled at the thing, charging. With no real viable options available, we followed his lead. He wires Iri used bound what remained and the four of us stabbed the thing in the skull. The bones crumbled to dust, signifying our victory. I fell on my face because a certain someone killed the GCG from his end.

"We can go home now, right? I think I've seen enough dead bodies for a long time." Monika pleaded.

"In just a bit. You father just has to make the new contract." As Cynthia explained, I picked myself up using my staff and made my way to the pedestal. Taking the book shaped pink stone in hand, I crushed it, starting the process. In the dark void, I was greeted by an elegant tenor voice.

"Hello, contractor. I am Hecate. It's a pleasure."

"The pleasure is mine."

"I have much I would like to share with you, but I must pick one…Given everything we have seen about you, my magic would be the best option."

"Magic? That would help out a lot." Also, magic is fucking awesome.

"I would not put it into such vulgar terms, but it is indeed a wonderful tool. Very well. With this gift, our contract is sealed. I look forward to seeing what you will achieve with it." The blackness faded and I saw everyone but Cynthia staring at me.

"You explained, right?" I asked my wife-to-be.

"Nope." She replied, popping the 'P'.

"Lovely. I was NOT talking to myself. I was talking to a goddess. Hecate, to be exact. She was the Greek goddess of, well, a lot. Crossroads, entranceways, light, magic, witchcraft, knowledge about herbs and poisonous plants, ghosts, necromancy and sorcery. To summarize…Magic is fun." Rolling up my sleeve, I saw that the mark left upon my arm was staff with a curled end. "At this rate, the neat tattoos excuse isn't going to work anymore."

"Who cares!? Let's get out of here." Johnny demanded, walking towards the exit.

"He's got a point." Monika agreed. "This isn't really the place."

"Yeah, I know, I know. Just let your old man contemplate a little.' With the help of a horse made by Iri, we were able to make it to Lowee fairly quickly. Side note: I am NEVER riding on anything with her if she's in control ever again. She's a god damn maniac. Blanc called Ragland to Lowee because I told her that it was getting harder to move around.

"Hell of a job you did to yourself." The doctor said. "This won't heal pretty." He added, continuing his stitching.

"As long as I can move like normal, it's not that big of a deal." It took fifteen minutes for him to finish, before he put me on no labor for a week. That kind of sucked, given that I had things to try, but Johnny's tears after a good amount of the money he made was taken by the government definitely made me feel better.

"We're gonna need a bigger house." 'Tia said after we went our separate ways with the two inhabitants of the Basilicom.

"Yeah we are. Four people regularly, five on occasion and no room for a kid if we decided to have one is NOT going to work. I just don't know if we could find somewhere."

"I can find someplace if you ever need space." Monika suggested. "It's not like I'll be alone, and I have your numbers in case I need help."

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there. Besides, someone doesn't like being in the city." Oh. We're having this conversation now, 'Tia?

"Well sorry I'm used to a suburban life."

"Relax, I'm just teasing. We would find a bigger place there, anyway."

"We'd have a place to practice as well, and it would be easier for me to fortify." Iri added.

"Look at that, 'Tia. It's two on one now."

"I…Okay. We'll start looking."

"Sweet!" I cheered. "Once that's done, we can start planning our wedding."

"Aw, you're getting married? How sweet. When did you propose?" The Servant asked.

"A week ago."

"Has it really only been a week? Man, times flies."

"Well I believe it's time for some sleep. Doctor Ragland said that you're to take it easy." Cynthia reminded me, and I had no complaints, except for the fact that 'Tia slept on my wounds.

Before anyone says anything, I am setting things up, and since the Fate series started as a game, it works. 'That's sketchy as best. And why me?' Reasons. 'Reasons?' Yup. Don't worry about it. I do want to apologize. We'll be getting back to story starting next chapter. Until then, peace. 'Bye!'