Albus couldn't remember the last time his full concentration was in the love they made. He couldn't remember the last time he felt clear-headed and in the moment. He couldn't remember the last time his mind was his own.Since the accident, it felt like his mind was a Muggle television. Except it was stuck on one channel – 'memory lane'. Lily was constantly on his mind. Every single thing he saw or did reminded him of her. Which wasn't exactly sexy in the heat of the moment."Should we not do this tonight?"Blushing, Albus tried to pull his head out of the mud and back into the moment. "Sorry," he muttered, gaze on Scorpius lips. He couldn't remember losing the sensation of them pressed against his own. "I'm good. I'm here."Levelling Albus with a look that said he knew otherwise, Scorpius leaned back in. There was only breath and the barest of space between them, a closeness Albus wished he could live in. "It doesn't feel like it." He reached between them to accentuate his point, massaging Albus' considerably soft cock beneath his trousers. "If you're not into it, I'd rather know beforehand." He softly nipped at the corner of Albus' lips, trying to keep things light. "I don't want to push you."It was Valentine's Day and Albus wished he could give more. It wasn't fair that he wasn't present when Scorpius had gone to such lengths to ensure the Room of Requirement stayed empty for days so this could be special. All of the wards and trap charms he'd practiced…. He'd even gone so far as to confund a seventh year, desperate to keep him from gaining access. And that was all before he had instructed the Room to create such a stunning replica of the Malfoys' garden on the perfect, starry night. They were curled around one another in what felt like real grass, almost everything as it was during their first summer 'together'. Before everything else…. "I really want to…. I mean, it's Valentine's and out of all the days to be romantic, this is the one. But I just…," he trailed off, frowning when Scorpius continued to nibble a trail across his bottom lipline."Scor, I think we should break up."Albus almost wouldn't have known he'd stunned the boy. If he hadn't felt Scorpius' breath catch at the same time as he bit Albus' lip just a bit too hard, he might have assumed this didn't shock him at all. He was so cool when he pulled back, his expression so soft and understanding. Like maybe he'd been thinking the same thing. Like maybe he wasn't heartbroken in the slightest. "Because of Lily?" he asked, gently caressing hair from Albus' face."Yeah," Albus let out on the bated breath he'd been holding. "I mean, no, not really. Not because of her. It's been four months and…I can't blame her for things anymore. It's all me. My head's not in it. Any of it. Anything…. And when I'm with you, I want to
be there. I want to feel it. Does that make sense?"For an agonizingly long minute, Scorpius took a beat to think. But Albus didn't want him to think about it. If he waited too long to answer, he was likely to go back on what he said. He needed Scorpius more than anything. All of him. The last thing he wanted was to lose the one thing in his life that didn't feel like a nightmare."If it's better for you that we're friends, I can handle that," Scorpius finally said and Albus' heart nearly broke in two before he reminded himself that this had to be for the best. "I love you no matter what, Albus Potter. You take whatever you need from me. I'll always be here."