AN: Longest chapter ever. I hope it doesn't feel like it's drawn out to you. I kind of like it.

WARNINGS: Trigger warning. There is some implied dubcon/noncon. It's not really explicit, and it's definitely not between Santana and Brittany.

Thank you everyone for your reviews they make me feel wonderful. I think I've replied to everyone. I hope you like this chapter and I hope you continue to review. Makes me want to write more.

Also, I started a tumblr. Link is in my profile, also my user name is the same username I have on here. Feel free to find me.

Enjoy.

Brittany wakes up a few times before she finally gets up. Every time she wakes up she checks her phone to make sure she doesn't have any texts from Santana. Even though the first time she woke up it was about 5:00am. Whatever, she's excited to see or hear from Santana again. Which she was happy that the thought of being excited to see Santana wasn't followed immediately by apprehension or any desire to negate that thought. She always assumed that she'd eventually get to a point where the idea of having feelings for a person didn't immediately fill her with dread but she didn't think that time was any time soon. But Santana is amazing, and Brittany isn't surprised.

She also isn't totally naïve. She knows that this thing with Santana is new and she doesn't know her very well. Old habits die hard, and she's not really sure how to act in a relationship or even in whatever this thing with Santana was. She's never been with anybody that she actually had feelings for. She thinks maybe that's why the relationship with Tommy didn't totally destroy her. Because by the end of the relationship, no matter what he did or said to her, she realized she didn't really love him anyway.

One day while out shopping with her mother, they stopped as they passed the window of a wedding boutique. Her mother told her that she couldn't wait to go wedding dress shopping with her and to plan the wedding. That Tommy would look good in a tux. Brittany told her mother that she didn't love Tommy. Her mother in a way that Brittany couldn't' tell if she was joking or not said that love has no place in a marriage. Brittany cried that night. And when she thinks back on the situation, she's not sure why she stayed with him. She had free will, she could have left. But she couldn't have at the same time. She had no confidence, her entire self-image was built around this idea that she was a dumb blonde cheerleader that wouldn't amount to anything except a good wife to a man that tolerated her because she was "the hottest bitch in this town." She couldn't have left. If she had when it started to get bad, she might have never found the strength to know she was better than all of that.

She just desperately hopes that she really is better than all of that, and only in moments where her deepest insecurities bubble to the surface does she really think that maybe she isn't.

Her text message tone breaks her out of depressing thoughts and she excitedly picks it up. She slides her finger across the screen and Santana's text message comes up.

From Santana: Sooo still up for park today? Could I maybe pick you up at noon? If later is better just let me know.

To Santana: Noon is great. I will see you soon!

She looks at the time, only an hour and a half to get ready. No problem. She gets up and shoves a cereal bar in her mouth since she has no idea if there are plans for lunch. She grabs her stuff for the shower and goes to the bathroom glad that not all of the showers are occupied. It is 10:30 on a Saturday morning. Maybe everyone else is still sleeping. She gets out of the shower and heads back to her bedroom.

After drying and straightening her hair in record time she gets dressed. Like fifteen times. She has no idea what to wear. When she's in some combination of a dress and jeans Rachel walks in.

"Hello Brittany. Nice to see you're up. I went to the practice room as to not wake you. I hope you slept well." Brittany wasn't sure if that comment was sarcastic and she was annoyed or if this was just Rachel. But Rachel didn't look annoyed or angry so she decided that it wasn't.

"Thanks Rach." She smiled at her. Rachel then looked at what used to be the closet exploded all over Brittany's bed.

"Not that it's any of my business Brittany but are you going on a date?" Brittany pauses. Is she? No. Santana didn't say it was a date, she just said they could go to the park and talk. She hopes they could go on a date, maybe she should ask? Who asks? Who pays? She snaps back to the current situation.

"No. No just park with uh a friend. Just a friend. I just don't know what to wear." Rachel is pretty sure she understands what that means. Just a friend, but Brittany wants to be more. So she decides to help. She likes Brittany after all. She's a good roommate, not the brightest girl ever but she's mostly considerate and nice.

"How about this?" She holds up a white sundress. Brittany cocks her head to the side. It is cute. But..

"Mmm grass stains. Plus it's hard to sit on the ground in dresses that short. My legs are long." Rachel laughs because anyone with eyes knows Brittany's legs are long.

"Um, yeah. So…this? Is it a shirt?" She holds up a strapless shirt.

Brittany goes to the closet and finds the shorts that go with the top.

"Yes! Perfect! Thanks so much Rach!" And Rachel thinks maybe she's managed to not annoy someone enough that they might actually be her friend. She smiles.

"No problem. Glad I could help." Brittany gets dressed right there in front of Rachel while Rachel quickly adverts her eyes. She's learned that Brittany isn't shy. Apparently most dancers aren't.

Brittany grabs a bag and throws two water bottles in just in case Santana gets thirsty too (even though she'd totally just share). She throws some gum, wallet, keys, and a bottle of bubbles. Just in case. It's quarter till noon when she's all ready so she decides to wait outside because she's excited and it's nice outside.

When she sees Santana pull up it takes everything in her to not just run to the car, jump in and hug Santana. She gets up slowly, walks at what she deems a normal persons pace to be, and she gets into the car.

When Santana saw Brittany walking towards her she swallows thickly. God that girl is beautiful. She thinks to herself. She looks down at her own choice of clothes and, though she thinks she'll never be as beautiful as Brittany, she hopes Brittany thinks she looks pretty too.

Brittany does. She thinks Santana looks absolutely amazing in her tight jeans (she's going to have to ask how she can wear pants that tight with showing anything) and a loose tank top and wedge sandals. "Hey Britt. You look really pretty. I like your top"

"You look beautiful. And thank you!" Brittany responded with a big smile. Santana looked nervous, and she felt bad. She knew this conversation might be a big deal for Santana but other than general curiosity she knows that whatever Santana says to her will have little to no bearing on the way the girl makes her feel just being in her presence. But she's not really sure how to communicate that to Santana.

Santana nervously wonders if everything is still as it was last night. Wondering if it was ok for her to hold Brittany's hand because it'd be nice to have something to ground and connect her right now. This isn't something she talks about in detail a lot. Her friends know, and Quinn knows everything because she's her best friend, but mostly she keeps her penis and the fact that it exists to herself.

Brittany looks down and notices that Santana's hand is lying suspiciously in the palm up position just slightly more than halfway between the two of them and Brittany is pretty sure what that means. So she threads their fingers together and senses some of the tension leak out of Santana. She's glad she could help. It makes her feel good that such a simple gesture could physically reduce the amount of tension in the brunette. She also thinks that their hands look good together, pale and tan. She likes the contrast. "I was going to bring stuff for a picnic but I don't know what kinds of food you like, so until I do, I thought maybe we could do late lunch early dinner after the park if you still want to be around me."

That was a slip. Santana didn't mean to say if you still want to be around me. She meant to say if you still have time to hang out or something less self-depreciating. But she's honestly scared Brittany is going to walk away. She's not sure why. The big news is out in the open, she does have a penis, but somehow she's worried the details are going to be what scare Brittany away. God she so desperately hopes it doesn't. Because while she's known the blonde for like two weeks and even the thought is slightly melodramatic, she doesn't think she can go without this hand in hers.

The uncertainty in her voice breaks Brittany's heart a little bit. Did she give her the impression that she had any intentions of leaving? Was she just that used to it? "We will definitely have to eat after the park. Maybe we can go to that Mediterranean place you were talking about?" She says excitedly and definitively. She hopes Santana gets that she's saying there's no way she's not going to want to go to dinner with her afterwards. She hopes Santana is reassured. Santana is. A little bit.

They get to the park and get out of the car. Brittany grabs Santana's hand again before Santana can even deliberate about it and they start walking to an unoccupied area with a view of the lake, and to Brittany's surprise and great pleasure, the ducks. Once they get to the spot, they sit down next to each other and Santana pulls Brittany's hand into her lap to play with her fingers.

"So might as well get this started. Do you have questions?" Brittany had tons of questions. She wanted to know what Santana's favorite flavor of Gatorade was, and if she went running, did she like to swim, favorite movie… but she knew that's not what Santana meant.

"So you said last night you were born with a penis…?" Santana knew where this question was going.

"Yep. I guess when I was born, they thought I was a boy. But after the initial all newborn babies look the exact same, my dad always thought I looked really feminine. I'm not really sure how a baby can look feminine but my dad was skeptical. Then when I started to understand the difference between girls and boys as a toddler, I'd tell my parents I was a girl. I felt like a girl. I've always felt like a girl. So my dad had some tests ran. He's a doctor. And they found out I was intersexed. I had a fully formed penis and testicles, but also what they thought were malformed ovaries and an abundance of estrogen.

So my parents took me to counseling, and they said that if I was telling them I was a girl, then that might be how my gender was going to manifest itself as I got older, and that until puberty hit we'd have to play it by ear. My parents had named be Santino, so the shift wasn't that hard. Santana. They switched me to a different kindergarten so I could start there as a girl and that was kind of it. I grew my hair out and was a girl. Nobody really knew what would happen when I hit puberty. I guess it went as best for me as it could have, I grew boobs, my hips filled out a little, and I looked more feminine. And that was that."

"Your parents sound great."

"I guess so. Part of me feels like they just went with the practical decision. My Mami said she always knew I was a girl. Even when she was only a few months pregnant. She just had a feeling. And they've both said a lot of times that they wished I would have been normal. Which hurts because most days I feel normal. There are definitely days that it's harder, and that I wish I was a normal girl.

When I told them I was gay my Dad told me that he guessed he shouldn't have expected anything else. Which, again, hurt. Because having a penis doesn't really affect my sexual preference. They've been kind of stand offish with me my entire life. Like they aren't really sure what to say to me. I have three older bothers though. And they're all amazing. My dad used to pressure me about having surgery to get my penis removed. I didn't want to. I don't hate it. And surgery scared me. Then one night he got drunk and called me a freak and said he wasn't sure why I didn't just do what I needed to do to be normal. My brother Antonio got really upset with him and threw him out of the house till he sobered up. He apologized for how he said it, but not what he said. It was kind of a great source of stress in my family sometimes. But now we pretty much just don't talk about it."

"I'm sorry San. That's… I'm glad you have great brothers. I'm an only child." She didn't know what else to say. That's a lot for a little kid to go through. Having their gender switched. Having to decide to have surgery or not that would alter their body forever. "I think you're brave."

"I'm not brave. I didn't ever have a choice in the matter really. It's just something I've always lived with. " Brittany's next question felt awkward. She wasn't even sure how to phrase it, it was just she was really curious.

"Does it uh…does it work? It's ok if it doesn't! or- I just…you don't have to answer that" Santana's face split into a huge smile as a giggle escaped her lips.

"Yeah it definitely does."

"Do you masturbate?" That flew out of her mouth before Brittany could stop it. She really does need to think before she talks sometimes. She doesn't regret it though. The look on Santana's face is priceless. She laughs a little.

"Wow. Uh. Yeah. Do you?" Now it's Brittany's turn to blush. Not because she does, that would be normal. But because she doesn't. Sex hasn't really been a particularly enjoyable thing to her. So there are things she'd rather do than have sex with herself. Like dance or read or…most things really.

"No. Not really." Santana's face displays a little of the shock she feels at hearing that answer. She thought for sure. "How do you hide it in those jeans? Because they look amazing on you but I certainly can't tell."

"Yeah. While I'm not exactly unhappy that I have it. I do try to hide it. People don't really take to kindly to the idea of a girl with a penis. I have these crazy compression shorts. They are super super tight kind of thick spandex. They even make my hips and butt slightly flatter. Which I guess I shouldn't complain about."

Brittany nods. She guesses she could have come to the conclusion of special underwear all on her own.

"Do you pee standing up?" They both giggle.

"When I'm at home or at a place where it's like a single bathroom. But if there are just stalls I just sit down. Because people would get suspicious." That makes sense to Brittany. She nods. She wonders if it's ok to ask the next question but Santana has been really open and she's not asking anything that she wouldn't answer herself.

"Are you a virgin?" Santana shifts uncomfortably. "You honestly don't have to answer. It doesn't matter, I was just curious."

"No it's ok. No I guess I'm not. When I was in high school I was a cheerleader. And the coach required me to tell everyone on the team about my "little friend" as she called it. Not because she wanted to be mean, I don't think, but because she didn't want anyone to give me shit for finding out, or cause any big problems. Telling them wasn't that terrible. For the most part they kind of just didn't want to talk about it. They'd say ok and walk away. Or sometimes they'd ask a few questions. The older girls treated me differently a little. Sometimes they'd make remarks but I was a good cheerleader so they never tried chasing me off the team. And they knew if I went, Quinn would too and they didn't think that coach would just let them run off two of her best new recruits. " Brittany was slightly surprised that Santana too had been a cheerleader. She thinks those special underwear must be amazing if they can hide any size penis in a cheerleading skirt.

"So there was this girl on the squad, Tessa, and I had a crush on her. Quinn would always warn me about her because honestly Tessa was a huge bitch. But I had that stupid little crush on her. The other girls caught wind of it eventually.

Then one night I guess a few of the older girls were having a sleepover and they dared Tessa to sleep with me. They wanted to know what it'd be like. Tessa was a senior and desperately wanted to be a co captain and this was her last year to do it, and turning down a dare from the current team captain certainly wasn't going to help her with that. So she accepted.

She started flirting with me, and one day asked me if I was ever going to ask her out on a date. This was the summer a few days before my junior year. Quinn was so against the idea of it, she got so mad at me when I did ask Tessa, who accepted. We went out to the movies and to a restaurant and then she asked me to come back to her house because her parents weren't home. I was so stupid, looking back it was really obvious she wasn't really into me. But I liked her and was stupid so I went. We went up to her room and started making out. She stripped me down and she got on top of me. I could tell she was into it, physically at least. But I had no idea what I was doing. She didn't even really take her clothes off. After she was done she said I should probably go. And to not tell anybody that she liked it. Which, she could have just told me it sucked and I would have believed her, I had no reference.

The next day the older cheerleaders all knew what had happened and teased me for getting played by Tessa, who kind of looked sorry but never said it. First kiss and virginity all in the same night. I was sad about it, but I'm over it now. " Brittany thinks that Santana seems to still be a little sad about it, which is ok. She's still sad about her first time too.

"What about you, are you a virgin?" Santana asks hesitantly like she's not sure if she can. But Brittany was pretty sure she was going to ask.

"No." Brittany wonders how much detail she should go into. But honesty is where they're at right now so she keeps going. "I've only had one boyfriend. His name is Tommy. We started dating my sophomore year and not long after had convinced me that everyone had sex now days. And that if we didn't, he'd break up with me. And I knew my parents would be mad at me, and my older sister who had set us up would be mad at me. They really liked Tommy. And I had even convinced myself that I liked Tommy. Plus I was young and stupid and Tommy didn't really take kindly to being told no.

So one night at a party he had made me go to, we went upstairs, he was drunk. I could tell he was already hard. He wasn't a virgin though. He'd had sex with a girl a few weeks before we started dating. He kind of just pulled his pants down, slipped a condom on and pushed me down on the bed. He pulled my pants down and pulled my shirt and bra up. But not even off. I guess he was in a hurry. Then he kind of just went at it. It hurt really badly, and I'm glad the condom was lubricated because it would have been a lot worse. He held my arms above my head and just went really hard and really fast. I cried.

He finished threw the condom off, pulled his pants up and went back downstairs. I think I left after that, I don't really remember." Brittany said all of this with as little emotion as she could. She didn't want Santana to think she was damaged goods (although she thought she might be), and she didn't want Santana to feel sorry for her. But the look on Santana's face said that she clearly did.

Santana looked at Brittany with a mixture of shock and horror. She thought that her first time was kind of terrible, but Santana is pretty sure what happened to Brittany was legally still rape. She didn't know what to say or what to think. She didn't understand how it had happened, or how sweet amazing Brittany could have been with someone like that. She wanted to know how long they were together, and what other terrible things this boy did to her. She wanted to know where he was so she could kill him.

"I- God Brit I am so sorry." Santana held her hand tightly. "I would have never ever…I mean I won't ever. If we progress to that point Brit I need to you to know that I'd wait till you were ready. I'd never ever force you to do something you don't want to do." Brittany felt tears come to her eyes. She refused to cry. She clutched Santana's hand tighter while squeezing her eyes shut.

It was good to tell someone who reacted like this because she knew that what he'd done wasn't ok. She should have said no and pushed him off, but he shouldn't have ever done it regardless. But when she told her mom she'd had sex, she just said good thing she was on birth control. When she said she didn't like it, her mother told her she'd probably learn to. When she'd told her sister that he was too rough, her sister told her some girls like it rough. When she'd told the other girls on the cheerleading squad that she thought were her friends, they were just jealous because she'd slept with Tommy. Rumors started soon after that that she was a slut.

"I don't know what I want San, but I do know that in this moment, I want to be near you." Santana wasn't sure if that was meant as a general statement but she took it literally. Because she needed a hug after hearing that story so she's positive Brittany needed one after telling her. She got on her knees and pulled Brittany to hers and hugged her tightly. She tried to surround Brittany with as much of herself as she could because she needed to protect Brittany right now. She knew there was nothing to protect her from, theoretically. But the urge was still there. So she held her tight.

And Brittany for her part had no idea how much she needed that hug. But she did. And she sunk into it like all she wanted was to be a part of Santana. It felt good to let out the story, it felt good to be in Santana's arms. It felt good to have put out there some small part of why she might be damaged and Santana seemed undeterred.

Brittany sniffed back the few tears that managed to escape, and Santana pulled back to wipe under the blondes eyes. Santana then leaned in and ever so gently kissed Brittany on the lips. Brittany smiled and sighed at the same time because that felt so good. Santana sat back down and Brittany laid down with her head on Santana's lap, looking up the brunette. For the next hour or so they talked about much more positive things.

"What do you wear to bed?" Brittany asked.

"My footie PJ's." Brittany laughed as Santana made a silly face at her. "Kidding. Tank top and boxers. You? Probably really long flowy night gowns with those stupid night caps huh?"

"Mhmm. Just like little house on the prairie." Santana snorted. "No same as you silly." Brittany laughed as she answered. Then she closed her eyes and smiled because Santana was playing with her hair and she was just so happy right now.

Santana's breath caught because Brittany looked so peaceful and beautiful and she was so happy that she'd helped bring that look on her face about She leaned down and kissed Brittany's smiling mouth lightly and her smile widened. She sat back up. "Favorite flavor popsicle?"

"Grape. Which is like everyone else's least favorite flavor so it works out for me. I bet yours is cherry." Santana smiled and nodded even though Brittany's eyes ere closed.

"Mhmm. How'd you know?"

"That's what flavor your chapstick is. So I just guessed." It sent a tingle down Santana's spine to know that Brittany could taste her chapstick on her. She leaned down and kissed Brittany a little harder this time. Then sat back up and licked her lips.

"Pineapple?"

"Yep! Good one. But I have so many flavors of chapstick. Like seriously a million. I don't think I have any grape though." They both giggled. Then Santana's stomach growled which made her blush slightly but laugh harder all the same. "Hungry San? We should go get dinner. If you still want to."

Santana smiled. She was pretty sure she'd do anything that involved still being around Brittany. But food was definitely a favorable option. "Mediterranean?" Santana asked to double check. Brittany nodded and then puckered her lips up once more. Santana leaned down to kiss her innocently. When she sat back up Brittany stood up with seriously alarming speed and managed to pull Santana up with her. Brittany laughed at the stunned look on the Latina's face and entwined their fingers and headed towards the car.

When they got to the restaurant and were seated Brittany admitted that she'd never really had Mediterranean food before. "Really?" Santana was shocked.

"Nope. Not any interesting food really. My town is kind of small and there's really just bad Mexican and Chinese. So I haven't had most kinds of food." Brittany hoped Santana wouldn't judge her. She didn't think Santana was that kind of person. But Santana was silent and kind of staring at her for a moment longer than Brittany could interpret, so she was just about to open her mouth and try to justify this again when Santana's face split into a huge grin.

"Oh man! This is going to be so fun! I have so much to show you. Have you ever had sushi? If you've only ever had bad Mexican then you've definitely never had good Puerto Rican food. I mean I'm not an excellent cook but I'm way better than bad Mexican. Uh if you want to! I didn't mean to assume you'd want to." Santana said very quickly, or huge smile vanishing as her eyes grew bigger at her assumption that Brittany would want to do all of these things with her.

"You can go ahead and assume from here on out I want to spend time with you and do things with you. If that changes, I'll let you know. Although I don't think it will because… I mean who wouldn't want to be around you you're kind of wonderful." Santana blushed and ducked her head bashfully. When she looked up she had a gentle smile. A beautiful beautiful smile. "Will you order for me?"

Santana's smile grew. She's always wanted to order for someone. To have someone trust her enough to order. It seems like such a silly idea, but it's just something that she's seen people do and has always wondered if she'd ever get to. "Well, what about since you've never had it, I just order a few things and that way you get to try a couple options. We'll just share."

"That sounds awesome." Santana opened the menu excitedly. This is the best date ever. Wait. Is this a date? She wondered. I'm ordering. I plan on paying. I hope it's a date.

"So not all of this stuff is Mediterranean. It's also North African and Middle Eastern so it's really all over the place." Brittany nodded. She noticed that she missed Santana's hand in hers, so she reached out, and Santana slid her right hand across to hold Brittany's.

"You're left handed?" Santana nodded. Brittany smiled. She loved that she got to learn these little things. Santana placed the order and soon the food came Brittany learned that she loved hummus and baba gannouj even though it didn't look very good, and dolmas might be her new favorite food. But that falafel is kind of boring. Santana swore it was better on a wrap. They had an excellent time. Brittany doesn't think she's ever laughed so hard while eating. Or maybe ever.

Brittany was digging through her bag to find her wallet, fully intending on paying because Santana had shown her such an amazing time and it was the least she could do. But the waitress came and before she even set the bill down Santana had given her her credit card. "Santana!"

Santana chuckled. And then looked a little nervous. "Well I was really hoping it was a date and since I brought you I paid." Brittany smiled gently at her. This wonderful feeling started to fill that place that anxiety existed before and it felt like luck mixed with something amazing.

"Then I'll pay on the next date."

"So…you're thinking we will have a next date?" Santana asks hopefully.

"As long as you accept, I think there will absolutely be a next date." Santana nods and reaches for Brittany's hand again. They left the restaurant feeling happy with themselves and each other.

"So any plans for tonight?" Santana asked casually. Brittany wished the answer was no. But if she didn't go to the library to get some of her homework done she would have to spend all day there tomorrow.

"I have to do homework. Unfortunately." Brittany pouted. Santana wondered if it would seem too desperate to offer to help. But she wanted to spend more time with Brittany so bad that she was willing to risk desperate.

"Would you mind if I went with you? I mean I have some homework too that I could do there. As well as…I just kind of want to keep hanging out with you." She finished lamely. Brittany smiled. She'd hoped Santana would ask. She didn't want to ask Santana to come with her to maybe help her some more like she did last time because she didn't want Santana to think she was stupid. But if she was already going to be there then…

"Not at all. Maybe you could help me with government like last time? I think I mostly get it but a little help might make things a little easier understood."

"Definitely. So lets stop at my apartment and I'll get my homework, and then we'll stop at yours and you can grab it and then to the library." She was glad Brittany asked her for help. One, she really liked that she could help her. And two, she didn't actually have very much homework.

"Would it ruin my chances with you if I put on sweat pants and flip flops? Is it to early for that?" Santana laughed because she was happy that Brittany thought they had chances together. She also laughed because she'd seen Brittany in sweats already when they ate lunch together after her dance classes. And she laughed because honestly, Brittany could wear a grocery bag and still look hot as hell.

"No. That's perfect. I will also change into sweat pants. Because while these jeans make my ass look bangin, they are tight." Santana jokes.

"They really do."

"What?"

"Make your ass look bangin." Santana blushes and starts to negate what Brittany said.

"I was just joking."

"Well I wasn't." Brittany said with finality. They got to Santana's apartment and went in. "I like it, it's nice!"

"Quinn did most of the decorating. I just brought the TV and DVDS." Brittany turned toward the entertainment center. That was a pretty impressive TV. "Be right back." She kissed Brittany on the cheek and ran into her room. She came out a minute later wearing black sweats, white V-neck, and flip-flops. Brittany noted that she was most definitely still wearing the compression shorts. It made her sad, for some reason that Santana had to wear them. But she didn't really know how to tell Santana that.

They got back into the car and drove to Brittany's dorm room. There wasn't any parking close by. "Just pull up, I'll just run up."

"I want to see your dorm room!" Santana whined half jokingly.

"And I promise you will. When there's parking." Santana pulled up and Brittany kissed her on the mouth. What she meant to be a peck turned into a light make out session. She pulled away, pecked Santana on the lips once more and jumped out. Santana watched her run up the steps outside and into the building. While she was looking forward to everything Brittany, she wasn't particularly looking forward to boners in these shorts. It was really uncomfortable. She had pretty good self-control, but it's Brittany. So she was expecting this situation wasn't in the to distant future.

Brittany came back down in grey cut off sweats and a tank top a few minutes later and they drove to the library. When they got there they set up all of their books. It was about five minutes of Santana pretending to do homework while watching Brittany struggle, hoping she'd just ask for help, before she just offered. Brittany gladly accepted. Their chairs got closer and closer together until their thighs were pressed tightly together and Brittany's food often brushed Santana's leg as she explained something to her. After they made it far beyond what Brittany had thought she'd get through for the night they decided it was enough.

"I'm sorry I require so much help." Brittany was really insecure about this topic, Santana could tell. Santana mostly just wondered what school system, and parents had failed at helping Brittany find a way that she could learn better. Although what she knew of her parents, she didn't particularly like.

"You don't require anything B. I want to help. I like helping you." She nudged her shoulder as they walked through the library doors.

"So… this might be totally lame. And please tell me if it is. But I really kind of don't want to end our wonderful day with studying. So do you want to maybe watch a movie or something? You can say no."

Santana smiled because she's pretty sure Brittany just read her mind. "My place or yours?"

"Well you do have that awesome TV" Brittany runs her hand up Santana's arm. Santana shivers. This girl.

"So mine then. Let's go. I'll take you back after the movie." Brittany nods her head. Truthfully, part of her wishes Santana would ask her to stay over. But most of her is glad that Santana is giving her the time that she said she would. That sleeping doesn't equal sex to everyone. It's just that, Tommy never came over unless he wanted sex. And while she knows now that she didn't really love him or probably even like him, at the time she kind of convinced herself she did. And she wished, again at the time, that he had pretended she was good for something more than just that.

They drove back to Santana's apartment and went inside. "Pick a movie, I'm going to get us something to drink. Water, milk, sprite, or OJ?" Brittany was momentarily thrown by the idea that she would get to pick the movie. She doesn't think she ever picked the movie when she watched it with someone else. Tommy would have never let her, and her sister was way to bossy. Her parents never really watched movies with her, and her friends just assumed she'd want to watch what they wanted to watch.

Santana was watching her expectantly. Oh yeah, drink. "Water please." She walked over to the shelf. Santana, it seemed, was a big fan of horror and action movies. But she had a little bit of everything. She pulled Texas Chainsaw Massacre off of the shelf and sat on the couch. When Santana came back in with her water and some orange juice for herself, she put the movie in and grabbed the remotes.

"Good choice." Santana says approvingly. She then has a decision to make. Where to sit on the couch. She desperately more than anything wants to cuddle with Brittany. But she was unsure what level of cuddling Brittany would find comfortable. She decides to be bold and sits with her back in the corner of the couch, hoping that Brittany will want to lie against her. But Brittany is just slightly bolder than Santana in getting what she wants, and grabs Santana's ankles and slides her down so she's kind of laying against the arm, and then crawls on top of her and tucks her head under Santana's chin.

Santana barely hesitates for a second to wrap her arms around Brittany. As soon as she does she feels Brittany nuzzle in further. Santana thinks she could probably explode from all of the happy she feels right now. She's seen this move a million times so while Brittany is paying rapt attention, Santana's thoughts wonder.

She thinks about their conversation this afternoon and how happy she is that Brittany seems so totally unphased by the idea that she has a penis. Intrigued, sure, who wouldn't be? But otherwise, totally unphased. And then she thought back to what Brittany had told her about losing her virginity, or really having it taken from her, and it makes Santana sick to her stomach all over again. She doesn't know Brittany very well, she knows that, but she knows enough to not understand how anyone could willingly and purposely hurt her. She knows that if she ever saw this guy, she would without hesitation rearrange his face.

Just then something must have happened in the movie because Brittany screamed and buried her face in Santana's neck giggling. "Protect me San!" she laughed unaware of Santana's current thought train. Santana tightened her arms and kissed the top of Brittany's head. She would protect her. She would do anything she could, she already knew that.

"Always B. I've got you." The seriousness with which she said that was not lost on Brittany, and she shivered slightly in Santana's arms. She placed a light kiss on her neck and turned back to the movie.

At one point during the movie, Quinn came home. She came into the living room expecting to see Santana's nose glued to her cell phone screen as it had been this past week since she's met Brittany. Instead she's met with the vision of Santana lying on the couch with Brittany on top of her completely tangled together watching some gross horror movie. Which by the way is the worst date movie ever. She'd have to explain that to Santana. But, she guesses, Santana must not be doing to bad on her own really.

Quinn doesn't want to be skeptical of Brittany. But she's skeptical of anyone who shows Santana any kind of attention. It hasn't usually turned out all to well in the past and looking at the way Santana is currently trailing her fingers up and down Brittany's back and kissing the top of her head every time Brittany tenses up, she's already pretty attached to the blonde. She decides she'll have to talk to Brittany sometime soon. Just to make sure. She wants to be happy for Santana, but she wants to protect her first.

"Hey San. Hey Brittany" She walks into the living room. Santana smiles at her like 'look what I've got' or 'look how amazing this is!' and Quinn smiles back. Because if this turns out that Brittany is for real, she knows Santana deserves this so much. Brittany lifts her head and waves hello before nestling her head back under Santana's chin. Quinn goes to her bedroom to give them some peace. Interrogation another day.

After the movie ends, they just lay there for a few minutes. Brittany nuzzling her nose up and down Santana's jaw line before laying light kisses there instead. Santana sighs because it feels so amazing. Simple affection. Brittany then lifts her head and presses her lips to Santana's. Santana gently runs her tongue along Brittany's bottom lip, hoping she'd open for her. She does and Santana gently massages Brittany's tongue with her own.

Brittany moans quietly. This is the most amazing thing she's ever felt. Not to messy, or fast, or controlling. She pushes her tongue lightly against Santana's and they dance together for moments until Santana sucks lightly on the tip of hers. The sensation rocks Brittany a little more than she was expecting and she gasps. Santana slows things down a little and they trade perfect lazy kisses for a little bit until things start to get heated again. Brittany starts to feel what she assumes are the beginnings of arousal and gets scared and gently pulls away. She hangs her head a bit expecting Santana to get mad at her for pulling away or leading her on.

But of course she doesn't. She just brushes the curtain of hair away from Brittany's face and kisses her lightly on the nose. Brittany smiles and lays her head back onto Santana's chest. Santana's arms automatically surround her.

"You might be perfect." She says quietly. She's not sure Santana even heard her until she hears

"I'm not. But I'll do my best to be perfect for you." Coming from anyone else it might have sounded cheesy but the sincerity with which Santana said it felt like it healed something in Brittany that she didn't even know was broken. Santana tightened her hold on Brittany. Brittany lifted Santana's shirt lightly to touch the skin there. She saw the top of her compression shorts. She didn't like them even more when she saw how far they dug into Santana's side, and the angry red mark that it was leaving.

"Santana you don't need to wear those." She ran her finger along the painful looking mark. "I mean I get why you do in public, and that's your decision. But when it's just you and me hanging out or whatever, you really shouldn't feel like you need to wear them if they are uncomfortable. They look uncomfortable."

"I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable. I usually take them off as soon as I get home."

"Oh Santana. I promise you, no matter what anyone has ever told you in the past, that I honestly don't think any different of you than if you had a vagina, or if you were a boy, or if you were a boy with a vagina. I just…those things don't matter to me. Its just part of you, and I really like you." Santana really liked Brittany too. And hearing that made her heart swell a bit. She really didn't care. Santana could just be her and it didn't have to be about the fact that she was a girl with a penis, and that meant more to her than anything.

"You're amazing." She smiled. Brittany tried to say something, but yawned instead. "And tired. Let me take you home babe." Brittany smiled when Santana called her babe. She didn't want to go, but staying made her nervous. Plus Santana didn't invite her to stay. She was really tired though so she nodded. They got up and got into the car. As they drove the short drive back to Brittany's dorm something occurred to Brittany.

"Your apartment is not on the way from the LGBTA meetings! It's the opposite direction!" Santana laughed.

"You're right. I just really really wanted to walk you back that night. Plus I had friends with me and it wasn't that much longer, and it was better than you walking by yourself." Brittany can't really complain. She wanted to spend more time with Santana too. And the idea that she was already, even the first day they met, trying to protect her made her smile.

When they got back to Brittany's dorm they shared another amazing goodnight kiss. One that made Brittany tingle with anticipation of seeing Santana again before she even finished saying goodbye. After she got out of the car and made it up to her dorm room, she dropped her stuff and lay on her bed. Not even bothering to change. Her eyes were just drooping when she got a text.

From Santana: Goodnight B. I had an amazing time today. Sweet dreams. Goodnight. I will talk to you tomorrow.

To Santana: Goodnight San. I had an amazing time as well, sweet dreams. And you better.

Brittany drifted off to sleep with thoughts of Santana into what she's pretty positive were the best dreams she's ever had.