A.N: I suck. Writer's block sucks big time. Here you go.

Monday August 29, 2010

4:36 P.M.

Quinn stared up at her girlfriend whose own eyes went wide and filled with tears.

Quinn stood so abruptly she upended her chair as she put a hand to her mouth and made to flee the kitchen. Rachel's hand curling around her wrist stopped her as she whirled to look at the diva. She couldn't stop the tears that were spilling down as Rachel choked on a sob.

The little diva wrapped her arms around Quinn's waist and pleaded, "Don't run away Quinn. Fight for this. Fight for me."

Quinn let her own arms come around Rachel's shoulders as she held her girlfriend.

Rachel curled into Quinn, "I wasn't breaking up with you Quinn."

Quinn felt herself relax.

Rachel wasn't finished though, "You had some legitimate cause to be angry, I should have talked to you, but the fact remains that your first instinct wasn't to ask me or even Santana, it was to lash out at both of us. That isn't ok Quinn."

Quinn sagged against Rachel and let out a quiet murmur, "I… I get jealous Rachel. You sing with Finn and I want to push him into a wall, you smile at Santana and I want to yank her hair out, Puck looks at you like he's seen you naked,"

Rachel interrupted her, "Which he hasn't."

Quinn pulled away and looked away, "I want to knock his teeth out. I trust you Rachel; I mean I think I do. I just… I don't trust anyone else."

Rachel sighed and rest her chin in the crook of Quinn's neck, "I get jealous too Quinn. I want to shave Noah's hair off every time he calls you his baby mama. I just… You really scared me today Quinn."

Quinn tightened her hold, "I feel like I'm going to lose you, like at any second I'll wake up and this, with you, will all have been some sort of dream, and then I'll be awake, but it will be like a nightmare I can't wake up from."

Rachel nuzzled Quinn's cheek, "I'm real Quinn, and I love you. And I won't run if you don't."

Quinn nodded quickly, "I don't want to run Rachel."

Rachel pulled away and looked up at Quinn very seriously, "You have to apologize to Santana Quinn. She didn't do anything wrong, and I think she was pretty hurt that you thought she'd be willing to sleep with me even though I'm dating you."

Quinn huffed lightly, "She is going to milk this for weeks but… ok. I'll apologize. I am sorry I didn't just ask."

Rachel smiled at her, "I want us to be honest with each other Quinn. I think that love means being able to be honest. So if you ever have concerns again, ask and I swear to you that I will always tell you the truth so you don't have to be jealous."

Quinn held Rachel and promised to just ask next time. She really hoped there was never a next time though.

Monday September 6, 2010

3:05 P.M.

Glee had been tense for the last week; school in general was tense with the fact that Santana was still livid with Quinn even though the blonde had apologized. The fact that the apology made it sound like her suspicions were mostly Santana's fault negated much of the sincerity of the gesture.

Rachel wasn't speaking to Kurt. She wasn't angry; she was hurt that he'd actually thought she'd cheat on Quinn without bothering to ask her.

Quinn was still upset now that Santana was making it a point to sit near Rachel as a metaphorical screw you to her and everyone else. The Latina was now taking a certain amount of pleasure from being close to Rachel, as her way of punishing Quinn.

Rachel's looks of disapproval for the Latina didn't seem to faze her.

The gleeks had split down the middle, with some thinking that Rachel and Santana had given Quinn ample reason to be suspicious and other siding with the two girls who hadn't actually done anything wrong.

Rachel and Quinn were making a concentrated effort to ignore the other gleeks and focus on each other, which wasn't all that different from before but now Quinn felt as if she was walking on eggshells around Rachel. She couldn't help but feel like the moment she screwed up Rachel would drop her. She wasn't sure but she might have been developing an ulcer.

And then there was that tiny, ugly part of her, that was still furious at Rachel and Santana for acting suspicious, for acting like they had something to hide. She wanted to be ok, she wanted her and Rachel to be fine and she believed Rachel when she said she hadn't cheated but what kind of nightmares could be so bad that she couldn't talk to her girlfriend about them? Why was this something that Santana shared with Rachel while she couldn't possibly understand or sympathize?

It grated on her... and worried her.

Wednesday September 22, 2010

12:33 P.M.

She finally cornered Santana and demanded answers, "Tell me about the nightmares!"

The Latina glared at her and tried to sidestep her, "Back off Q. I don't owe you jack shit."

Quinn held up her hands, "I don't want to know because I'm jealous, I want to know because I'm worried. She's pulling away and I know it has something to do with these nightmares."

Santana must have seem the desperation in her eyes because she softened just a little, "You don't want to know Q... the nightmares are... fucking horrible. First time I had one I threw up as soon as I woke up."

Quinn paled, "They... they're that bad?"

Santana nodded reluctantly, "I can't figure out why I get to see the same shit every other night, why I'm the lucky one, but they're worse for Rachel, she..." She hesitated, "Every night she dies Q. That's what the nightmare is about. She dies, cold and alone."

Quinn stared at Santana in horror, "She... she dies, that's the nightmare?"

Santana nodded miserably, "Every fucking night. It's always the same, and every time I watch it happen and I can't do a single fucking thing about it. She dies and I have to watch, she has to watch."

Quinn felt tears gather and shook them off, "But it's just a nightmare."

Santana let out a humorless chuckle, "A nightmare that never changes and feels so fucking real that I wake up sobbing and Rachel wakes up thinking she can't breath. She's afraid to go to sleep Quinn, sometimes I'm afraid to go to sleep. Sometimes I want to knife Karofsky to see if getting rid of him will stop the fucking dreams."

Quinn's eyebrow ticked up, "What does Karofsky have to do with this?"

Santana's eyes hardened, "He's the one that kills her, he ties her up in the nightmare and leaves her to die, and sometimes... I wonder if making sure he can't do that would stop the dreams."

Quinn sagged in understanding, "That's why you've been so harsh with him this year, even now that he's stopped going after Rachel."

Santana nodded firmly, "I... I can't help but feel that putting the fear of god into the prick will some how protect Rachel. I don't know how to explain it Q... the dreams feel real, like a memory, and the grief is crippling."

Quinn reached out and caught Santana in a hug as the Latina let out a choked whisper, "She's my friend Q... even at my worst I never wanted her dead, and now that she's my friend seeing her die hurts... and yet..."

Quinn pulled away to look at Santana, "And yet?"

Santana glanced away guiltily, " I... am always glad it isn't Brittany. And that fucking sucks Q, cause on top of feeling all this grief I feel guilty because I'm glad it isn't Brittany... or me."

Quinn didn't feel any anger at the admission as she quietly replied, "I'm glad I've never had the nightmare, because if I had to watch Rachel die every night I'd probably go crazy, so for your sake I'm glad it isn't Brittany either, but for Rachel... I wish it was someone else."

Santana nodded, "Yeah..."

Quinn held her oldest friend and tried to grasp at the thread of a memory buried deep. She couldn't help but feel that there was something she'd forgotten, something she should remember, having heard about these nightmares and yet... there was nothing. She closed her eyes and let out a sharp gasp, lying there on the bathroom floor, branded across her eyelids, was Rachel, bound and gagged and so pale and cold.

She snapped her eyes open and squeezed Santana tighter, "Nothing is going to happen to Rachel Santana."

Santana nodded into her shoulder, "Ok Q."

Thursday October 21, 2010

4:43 P.M.

Weeks had passed since Santana had told Quinn about the nightmares, and still Rachel didn't know that Quinn knew. Somehow Quinn thought it was better that way, when Rachel just needed someone to hold her and to love her, no questions asked, Quinn could be there. She understood Rachel more now. The way the girl jumped when a now firmly cowed David Karofsky got too close to her, why she avoided the bathroom near the choir room, and why every once in a while she needed to talk to Santana, why she felt the need to stay strong in front of Quinn. She got it.

In some ways Quinn was glad that it was Santana that had, for some reason, been chosen to share Rachel's nightmares. Santana was Quinn's friend, her sister in some ways, who'd take care of Rachel, who had been taking care of Rachel. It calmed her a bit to know that she had Santana looking out for her girl.

She wanted to share the dream with Kurt, that thread of a memory that she still couldn't grasp at tickled the back of her mind, made her want to talk to Kurt, though she couldn't say why.

She grasped at Rachel's hand and ignored Mr. Schue as the man explained why it was a better idea for Quinn and the new kid, Sam, to sing the duet at Sectionals than it was for Rachel and Finn. She only realized that both she and her girlfriend had been mentioned because the rest of their team turned to look at them, waiting to see if Rachel would be willing to let her girlfriend to have the duet when Rachel herself didn't have the solo, which had gone to Santana.

The Diva wasn't paying attention either because she started, "Why is everyone staring at me?"

Quinn squeezed her hand and leveled Mr. Schue with a glare, "I think Rachel and Sam would sound great together."

Sam smiled and turned to look at Rachel, "I don't mind singing with either girl."

The boy beamed at the little diva and if Quinn wasn't sure he was absolutely one hundred percent gay she'd have snapped at him. She wasn't sure why she was so certain he was gay but the knowledge and the certainty was there.

Mr. Schue shook his head, "Rachel is our secret weapon, we need to save her for Regionals."

Rachel nodded placidly, "That sounds fine Mr. Schue." She let out a yawn and laid her head on Quinn's shoulder.

Quinn shared a look with Santana, it was obvious Rachel had had another nightmare the night before.

Mr. Schue clapped his hands and announced, "Ok guys, I think that's it for today, I'll see you in class or next week on Monday!"

Rachel started and sat up straight, "Is Glee over?"

Quinn smiled gently down at her, "Yeah Rach, Mr. Schue just dismissed us."

Rachel nodded and gave a half-hearted scowl, "I wish he'd stop speaking with so many exclamation points."

Quinn grinned and slowly pulled Rachel to her feet. She gathered Rachel's bag and her own and smiled at Puck, Santana, and Brittany as the three teens flanked her and Rachel. She let Rachel proceed her from the choir room and tensed as Rachel let out a high squeak.

"David!" Quinn was through the door in a heartbeat and placed Rachel behind her as she glared at David Karofsky who had obviously barreled right into Rachel.

The boy held up his hands and backed away, "Sorry..." Quinn was so concerned with her suddenly jumpy girlfriend that she didn't notice that Dave's hands were shaking as he tried to stare past her at Rachel, before he finally turned and hurried away, as if fleeing from a nightmare.

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