The wait on the train felt like it lasted forever. By the time he stepped off the carriage at the school gates, the joints of his fingers hurt from clenching. The prefects were always last off the train, so he had an even longer thestral-plagued wait from there.
Albus had been able to see them since Christmas holidays after Lily's accident. His heart nearly stopped the second he noticed them. They looked like the absolute mastheads of death where nothing but emptiness once stood. His dad had warned him after the funeral about suddenly being able to see them. But that didn't prepare him in any way. It still didn't help him. They were still scary and unsettling. Even to this day, they still gave him chills. He couldn't look them in the eye, finding it made him too uncomfortable. Their presence put him on edge.
Scorpius used to know that. He used to care. When he would step off the carriage, he would rush to Albus' side, cradling him in his arms and steering him away towards the castle. Those arms felt safe when nothing else in the world did.
But that was then. This was now. When Scorpius came up to him now, he was cautious and his jaw was set. He didn't have welcoming arms or comforting smiles. Just a wide berth and a less-than-intimate nod.
"Are you done ignoring me, then?" Albus snapped, taking a step closer. When the silence continued to stretch, he closed the gap completely and crashed his mouth to Scorpius'. Then, just as Scorpius softened and relaxed against him, he viciously pulled back and shoved him away. Somewhere in his peripheral, he was vaguely aware of Louis stepping off his own carriage. His eyes wide and slightly confused. Perhaps even a bit hurt. To soothe his own lingering jealousy, he stole another kiss. Softer this time. Searching and completely for show.
"Albus, please," Scorpius whispered, placing a hand between them. Albus was certain he could feel his erratic-beating heart beneath his fingertips. "I can't do this. Not with you. Not again." Sighing, he stepped back completely, his hands clasped behind his back like he didn't trust himself. "You ended us. You didn't even ask me." The emotion caught in his throat, strangling his words before he loudly cleared it away. "You didn't even give me a say. And you were hurting so I let it go. I let you go. I hid my own grief because I knew you needed me more. You needed a friend more. I was almost over you, Al! You can't just break my heart and come running back when it's convenient for you."
Lost for words, Albus flapped his mouth open and closed a few times before jamming it shut. Scorpius usually hid behind a mask of smiles. He was the solid one between the two of them. So, of course, he was bound to burst with all of his pent-up negative emotions now and again. Albus had just never been the source of those emotions, as far as he was aware. He didn't exactly know how to handle it but to say, "I'm sorry…."
"Let's get inside; I'm starving," Scorpius muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.
After a moment, Albus nodded and linked their arms together. Clearly broadcasting friends and not lovers for the world to see. Scorpius needed time and Albus could give him that. He could wait as long as it took. Someday he would have Scorpius back, just not today.